Crave the Darkness: A Shaede Assassin Novel

by amanda bonilla

  I worked my hand up and down his shaft, enjoying the feel of him, the power of giving someone pleasure. Xander cupped my hips in his hands, using my body to steady himself. His fingers flexed and worked my flesh, his eyes burned into mine, and his breathing grew heavy and ragged. “What did I tell you,” Xander murmured. “It feels good to let go, doesn’t it?” My god, he was big, heavy in my palm, and I used my free hand to work his jeans down off his hips and around his ankles.

  “Be quiet,” I said, my voice a little too thick with passion. I didn’t need Xander reminding me what this was really about. All I wanted was to forget, to enjoy this moment without any crippling emotional connection. I traced my way back up the inside of his thigh and cupped his tender flesh, working every inch of him with languid strokes. He shuddered and grabbed my wrists to stop me. “No need to rush, we have all night.”

  I backed away from him and took off my pants. Left in nothing but a black lace bra and satin underwear, I moved toward his large, comfy-looking couch. I walked backward, leading him along with the sway of my hips like a snake charmer playing her flute over a basket of cobras. The cushion hit the backs of my thighs, and I stopped. “We do have all night”—my voice was little more than a whisper— “and all day too.”

  Xander took my face in his hands and brought his mouth to mine, crushing, bruising, in its intensity. He took my bottom lip between his teeth before caressing it with his tongue. His hands were busy fiddling with the clasp on my bra. As slowly as I’d lowered his zipper, he slid the straps down over my shoulders. He waited a split second and held his breath in his lungs before pulling the sheer, lacy fabric from my breasts. When I was bare to his gaze, he exhaled in a rush of breath, eagerly cupping my breasts as his thumbs grazed my nipples. They hardened, and I moaned as my head rolled back on my shoulders.

  “Gods, you’re exquisite,” Xander said before blazing a trail of kisses across my collarbone. He laid his lips to the swell of my breast, nipping with his teeth. I trembled from the delicious near-pain as he continued toward the center of my breast. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and he took my nipple in his mouth, sucking deeply before using his teeth to tease the flesh to an even stiffer peak. Dizzy with desire, I held on to him for dear life, my breath hitching as he ringed my nipple with his tongue before nibbling lightly. I cried out, unable to restrain myself, and he repeated the process on my other breast, driving me to a state of maddening desire that throbbed hot and wet between my thighs.

  Xander urged me down onto the couch, positioning me on the center cushion. He knelt before me and spread my legs with his hands, running his palms up my thighs. I arched my back, and he reached up to cup my breast before leaning down and bestowing tiny kisses on the inside of my thigh. Xander looked up, making sure I was watching him, and pressed his mouth to my sex. I could feel the heat of his mouth through the satiny fabric of my underwear, and I nearly came right then and there. Pulling away, he inhaled deeply before continuing upward, his mouth a brand against my hip, stomach, breasts, neck and finally back at my mouth. He continued to kiss me, deep and urgent, sucking, teasing, tasting. I trembled as his hand inched back down my stomach, fiddling at the elastic of my underwear. He paused for the briefest moment before plunging his hand past the waistband, and when his fingers brushed against my slick heat, he groaned.

  “Gods,” he murmured against my mouth. “You feel so good.” He circled the sensitive knot of nerves at my core, and I gripped his muscled shoulders, throwing my head back with a cry. “So wet. For me.”

  My body trembled with need, pleasure sweeping over me in waves. Xander’s pace slowed nearly to a stop, and I rolled my hips, pressing against his hand, desperate for him to continue. “Tell me you’re wet for me, Darian.”

  “Yes,” I whispered. I thrust my hips against his hand once more.

  He brushed his finger across my clit once and I shuddered. “Say it.”

  “Xander . . .” For some reason, I didn’t want to say it. Couldn’t admit that he could evoke this feeling in me.

  Another languid stroke. Just enough to drive me crazy. “Say it,” he commanded.

  “I—I’m wet . . . for you.” I wasn’t exactly a world-class sexy talker, but the words shouldn’t have been so hard for me to say.

  He leaned over me and kissed me deeply. “Say it again.”

  “I’m wet for you, Xander.”

  As his fingers stroked, I arched my back, thrusting my hips against him. Xander kissed me, his tongue penetrating my mouth while his fingers brought me to a state of ecstasy. I wanted more. Needed to be swept away from reality. I maneuvered my body to the edge of the cushion, close enough now that I could reach out and stroke Xander’s shaft. His breath hitched in his chest, and he pulled away so he could stare straight into my eyes. “I want you,” I whispered.

  Xander’s breath became heavy and his nostrils flared. As fast as a lion pouncing, he laid me out on the couch, his body covering me. His mouth seized mine, his kisses now bordering on desperate. He rubbed his erection against me with deliberate intent, through the fabric of my underwear, bringing me close to the brink. I opened myself up to him, wrapping my legs around his hips and digging my heels into the backs of his thighs. Xander moaned into my mouth, refusing to break our kiss, as I pressed my hips against him. The pressure built up in me with each stroke, every nerve ending in my body alive and sparking with electricity. Pleasure crested over me and I cried out, swept up in the pulsing orgasm that rocked me from the center of my body, outward to my limbs.

  As the waves of pleasure began to ebb, an emptiness opened up inside of me, a need to be filled, to be connected on the deepest level with another soul. I brought my hips off the couch and ground them into Xander’s loins. “I need you, Xander,” I pleaded. “I want you inside of me. Now.”

  With a groan that was guttural and echoed my need, Xander reached down, too impatient to properly undress me, and jerked my underwear aside. I felt the soft probe as he pressed against me and then a shock of heat as his broad head found my opening. I waited. Longing for him to make that final move and join us once and for all. . . .

  “Xander, we have a serious damned problem! I need Darian and I can’t find her any—” Raif’s voice died in his throat as he came into Xander’s suite. He froze for a moment, his jaw slack and eyes wide, before abruptly turning his back to us.

  “Doesn’t anyone knock in this godsforsaken house?” Xander railed. Grabbing a blanket from the foot of his bed, Xander draped it carefully over my body. He didn’t seem to have an issue with his own nakedness as he rounded on Raif, his eyes blazing with anger. “You’d better have a good fucking reason for barging in here, brother.” I’d never heard such a dangerous edge to Xander’s voice. “Because if you don’t—”

  “Anya is in a bad way, my liege,” Raif said with a sneer. “She needs to be taken to a hospital immediately.”

  Chapter 19

  “Jesus Christ, I don’t know how she does this every day,” I grunted as I worked the zipper up my back as far as I could reach. Granted, I had a little more in the hip and breast department than Anya, but I felt like I was stuffing my body into a sausage casing.

  “I don’t agree with this,” Xander said, zipping me up the rest of the way. “It’s too dangerous.”

  “Do you have a better idea?” I studied my reflection in the mirror, gathered my hair into a high ponytail and began to braid it.

  “Your hair isn’t long enough or even close to the same color. Your body isn’t the same. Anyone with eyes in their head will know the difference.”

  True. But I didn’t plan to let anyone get a close enough look—that is until it was too late to realize the mistake. “Xander, we don’t have any other options, and we’re running out of time. She’s got to get to a doctor. Right fucking now.” Even with my nonexistent medical expertise, I knew that bleeding in a pregnant woman was cause for alarm. “I know it’s not going to fool Kade. Not really. But if he’s out there and decides to take a shot,
I’d rather he took it at me.”

  Xander gave a derisive snort and began pacing back and forth. “Cavalier, aren’t you?” His arms were folded, chin resting between one thumb and forefinger. “There’s got to be another way to get her the care she needs without risking your safety.”

  I rolled my eyes. We didn’t have time to hash this out. I finished braiding my hair; the long plait hung just to my shoulder blades. Shorter than Anya’s by about a foot, but it was the best I could do at such short notice. Besides, like I’d told Xander, I knew I wouldn’t be able to completely fool Kade. Not with Anya being his branded property. All I needed was an optical illusion. Something to draw his attention from the real Anya we’d be ushering into the private hospital. I’d wait for him to jump me and then I’d kill his sorry ass once and for all. I just had to hope there weren’t any magical rules and regulations regarding demon slayings. Besides, if I managed to take his head from his shoulders during a fight, I doubted there was enough magic in the world to keep him alive.

  “Are we ready?” I asked Louella through my earpiece. She was in Anya’s suite, getting her changed into a nice black ensemble. My clothes. I’d instructed Louella to put Anya’s longer locks in a ponytail and tuck it under in a fashion that would suggest she had shorter hair. Not exactly what I wanted to be doing under emergency circumstances. But at this point, we had no other choice.

  “We’re ready,” Louella answered, “headed for the front of the house right now.”

  “Good. I’ll meet you down there.”

  “At least let me come with you,” Xander said, still pacing like a caged animal.

  “Too suspicious. Besides, I need you to stay here with Dimitri and keep him calm.”

  “Gods, Darian, are you trying to kill me?” Xander raked his hands through his hair, stuffed his hands in his pockets, and pulled them back out again. Lord, but he was jumpy. It was making me twitch. “I’m the king, for Christ’s sake, not some helpless child. Stop ordering me around.”

  Even in an emergency, Xander just had to remind everyone who he was. “Look, Xander, don’t worry your pretty little head off. I’ll be fine.” Hadn’t he told me recently that he knew I was more than capable of taking care of myself? What the hell? “Raif will be with me. My team, too. We’re protected.”

  “I just don’t think—”

  “I don’t care what you think.” I cringed at the volume and tone of my words. I hadn’t meant to be so snappy, but I didn’t have time for his unnecessary concern. I crossed the room to him, and he leveled his gaze to mine. “I’ll be fine. Promise.”

  Xander groaned and took my face in his hands. “You’d better be. Go.” Releasing his hold, he guided me toward the door. “Take care of her and yourself.”

  I gave him what I hoped was a reassuring smile. “Take care of Dimitri. Do not let him out of this house. I’ll be back soon.”

  With a final glance at my reflection, I ran out of the room, the heels of my—Anya’s—boots tapping a frantic rhythm as I rushed to the front door to meet Anya, Raif, and the rest of my team.

  * * *

  As Raif drove like a madman, weaving through and around the late-night traffic, I focused my attention on the cadence of Anya’s measured but harsh breaths. She hadn’t spoken a word, merely followed directions and dressed in my clothes. I could tell she was in pain. She doubled over and hugged her abdomen, but she never so much as grunted. I had to give it to her, Anya was about as tough and brave as they came.

  Raif gave a furtive glance in the rearview mirror, looking quickly away when my eyes met his. I could feel the flush of embarrassment creep to my cheeks. Of all the people to see me undressed and in a compromising situation . . . why, oh why did it have to be him?

  I couldn’t even blame the king’s seduction tactics this time. Xander had opened up to me, told me things he hadn’t even told his own brother, and in return, he’d simply asked that I try to let go. Live my life instead of dictate the course of it. I wanted nothing more than to show him that no matter what he thought to the contrary, I could loosen the reins of my control. I’d wanted to prove to myself that I could move on with my life just as easily as Tyler had. In the aftermath, I was nothing more than a tangled mess of uncertainty and mixed emotions. Way to go, dipshit. You haven’t proven anything but the fact that you’re an emotional train wreck.

  I couldn’t help but feel that what I’d done tonight with Xander was somehow a betrayal. I doubted Tyler bothered with such torturous thoughts when he was naked and entwined with his perfect Jinn girlfriend. I mean, why waste time thinking of me when his hands were full of perfection that would put a Greek myth to shame?

  Christ, I was losing it. Anya was right, I was poison. Sure, Xander had egged me on, playing with my emotions to maneuver me right where he wanted me. Namely, underneath him. But what I’d done was worse. I’d let him play me so I’d have an excuse for my behavior. So that in a moment—like right now—when I felt guilty about what I’d done, I’d have someone to blame. This was Xander’s fault. He’d practically dared me.

  Yeah, like that flimsy excuse would help me sleep better at night.

  “The cramping’s getting worse,” Anya said through gritted teeth. “Are we almost there?”

  Nice. Selfish much, Darian? I gave myself a mental slap across the face. Good god, this was not the time for worrying about my twisted love life. What the hell was wrong with me? I stretched my legs—they felt as sturdy as Jell-O—and my brain wasn’t much better. I was in no condition to fight, yet here I was, looking for one. It was the only way to take Kade’s attention away from Anya long enough for her to receive the care she needed. And one thing I knew for certain: Kade was watching.

  “You good to go?” I asked Anya as Raif pulled the car up to the curb. Despite the fact that she was in a lot of pain, she’d have to be ready to put up a good show.

  “Ready,” she said and took a deep breath.

  Raif opened the door, and Anya took one last cleansing breath. Gritting her teeth against the pain, she ushered me out in front of her, glancing around as if checking for potential threats, which, of course, she was. I, on the other hand, ducked my head and clutched my abdomen, doing my best impersonation of pained pregnant female. Anya stayed glued to my side, and when we ducked into the building it was my turn to breathe a deep sigh of relief. I sent Louella and the rest of my team with Anya and the handful of medical professionals who’d been called ahead to meet us.

  “Go with Anya, Raif,” I said as I pulled a nurse aside. “I need you to stay with her.”

  Raif nodded in response, taking up the rear of the procession without a question asked. If there was one single person on this planet I knew I could always count on, it was Raif. “If you need me . . .” he turned and said.

  “I know.” I smiled, momentarily forgetting the awkwardness between us. “How do I get to the roof?” I asked the nurse who’d begun to pull away so she could follow Anya.

  “There’s a fire escape ladder at the back of the building,” she said, pointing down a dark hallway. “Take the exit at the end of that hall. The door should be unlocked.”

  I left the nurse to her business and took off at a slow jog. How Anya did anything in four-inch stilettos was beyond me. As it was, I felt like I was running on a pair of stilts. But I had to keep the illusion intact for however long I could. I didn’t want Kade going after Anya while she was weak. And as for Dimitri, Kade hadn’t stepped foot near Xander’s property so far. I had to assume he’d continue to stay away.

  If running down the hallway had seemed like a feat, then climbing the fire escape was nothing short of a miracle. The slick soles of Anya’s boots kept slipping on the rungs of the ladder, and I tripped myself up on the damn heels more than once. What an utter annoyance. By the time I made it to the roof, I was ready to pitch the goddamned shoes right over the edge. I began to sweat, as much from nerves as exertion, and coupled with the too tight leather jumpsuit I sported, made for one cranky bitch. No wonder
Anya was so sour all the time.

  I found a vantage point from the northeast side of the building that let me see the streets that bordered the medical facility as well as the back alley. So far so good. Nothing appeared out of the ordinary. Maybe Kade needed a night off from stalking Anya. God knows I needed a night off from guarding her.

  As I monitored the flow of traffic—and pedestrians—on the street below, my mind drifted to my evening with Xander. Even now I felt the heat rush to my cheeks as I thought about the things we’d done and the things we’d been about to do. Six months ago I would have laughed hysterically at the thought of being with the Shaede King. And I’d managed to convince myself that what had once been completely unacceptable was the best course of action to make me feel better . . . about what? The fact that the only person I’d ever truly loved didn’t love me in return?

  No matter what Anya thought, love had nothing to do with what was developing between Xander and me. More like a relationship of convenience. I trailed my fingers down between my breasts, toward my stomach, pausing at all of the places Xander’s mouth had branded me. Could there be any truth in Anya’s words, though? Was I being cruel, leading Xander on for my own selfish reasons? Or rather, was he an active participant, in it for nothing more than the conquest?

  “You’re like a walking storm of pure sexual energy,” a voice said from behind me.

  Ah, shit. Looked like I wasn’t getting a night off after all. Kade stepped out of the shadows, his confident swagger lending to, rather than detracting from, his otherworldly beauty.

  “The air around you is heavy with desire,” he said, making a show of smelling the space in front of him. “Charged with it.” He licked his lips in a very sensual way. “Delicious.”

  My knowledge of Incubi was limited, but I did know they fed from their victim’s life force during sex. I had to assume that my erotic thoughts had set off some sort of pheromone beacon. It was one way to hook a Cambion, I supposed.