Complete Works, Volume III

by Harold Pinter

  JOEY comes in from U.L. with a coffee tray, followed by RUTH. He puts the tray down. RUTH hands coffee to all the men. She sits with her cup. MAX smiles at her.

  RUTH. That was a very good lunch.

  MAX. I'm glad you liked it. (To the others.) Did you hear that? (To RUTH.) Well, I put my heart and soul into it, I can tell you. (He sips.) And this is a lovely cup of coffee.

  RUTH. I'm glad.

  Pause.

  MAX. I've got the feeling you're a first-rate cook.

  RUTH. I'm not bad.

  MAX. No, I've got the feeling you're a number one cook. Am I right, Teddy?

  TEDDY. Yes, she's a very good cook.

  Pause.

  MAX. Well, it's a long time since the whole family was together, eh? If only your mother was alive. Eh, what do you say, Sam? What would Jessie say if she was alive? Sitting here with her three sons. Three fine grown-up lads. And a lovely daughter-in-law. The only shame is her grandchildren aren't here. She'd have petted them and cooed over them, wouldn't she, Sam? She'd have fussed over them and played with them, told them stories, tickled them – I tell you she'd have been hysterical. (To RUTH.) Mind you, she taught those boys everything they know. She taught them all the morality they know. I'm telling you. Every single bit of the moral code they live by – was taught to them by their mother. And she had a heart to go with it. What a heart. Eh, Sam? Listen, what's the use of beating round the bush? That woman was the backbone to this family. I mean, I was busy working twenty-four hours a day in the shop, I was going all over the country to find meat, I was making my way in the world, but I left a woman at home with a will of iron, a heart of gold and a mind. Right, Sam?

  Pause.

  What a mind.

  Pause.

  Mind you, I was a generous man to her. I never left her short of a few bob. I remember one year I entered into negotiations with a top-class group of butchers with continental connections. I was going into association with them. I remember the night I came home, I kept quiet. First of all I gave Lenny a bath, then Teddy a bath, then Joey a bath. What fun we used to have in the bath, eh, boys? Then I came downstairs and I made Jessie put her feet up on a pouffe – what happened to that pouffe, I haven't seen it for years – she put her feet up on the pouffe and I said to her, Jessie, I think our ship is going to come home, I'm going to treat you to a couple of items, I'm going to buy you a dress in pale corded blue silk, heavily encrusted in pearls, and for casual wear, a pair of pantaloons in lilac flowered taffeta. Then I gave her a drop of cherry brandy. I remember the boys came down, in their pyjamas, all their hair shining, their faces pink, it was before they started shaving, and they knelt down at our feet, Jessie's and mine. I tell you, it was like Christmas.

  Pause.

  RUTH. What happened to the group of butchers?

  MAX. The group? They turned out to be a bunch of criminals like everyone else.

  Pause.

  This is a lousy cigar.

  He stubs it out.

  He turns to SAM.

  What time you going to work?

  SAM. Soon.

  MAX. You've got a job on this afternoon, haven't you?

  SAM. Yes, I know.

  MAX. What do you mean, you know? You'll be late. You'll lose your job. What are you trying to do, humiliate me?

  SAM. Don't worry about me.

  MAX. It makes the bile come up in my mouth. The bile – you understand? (To RUTH.) I worked as a butcher all my life, using the chopper and the slab, the slab, you know what I mean, the chopper and the slab! To keep my family in luxury. Two families! My mother was bedridden, my brothers were all invalids. I had to earn the money for the leading psychiatrists. I had to read books! I had to study the disease, so that I could cope with an emergency at every stage. A crippled family, three bastard sons, a slutbitch of a wife – don't talk to me about the pain of childbirth – I suffered the pain, I've still got the pangs – when I give a little cough my back collapses – and here I've got a lazy idle bugger of a brother won't even get to work on time. The best chauffeur in the world. All his life he's sat in the front seat giving lovely hand signals. You call that work? This man doesn't know his gearbox from his arse!

  SAM. You go and ask my customers! I'm the only one they ever ask for.

  MAX. What do the other drivers do, sleep all day?

  SAM. I can only drive one car. They can't all have me at the same time.

  MAX. Anyone could have you at the same time. You'd bend over for half a dollar on Blackfriars Bridge.

  SAM. Me!

  MAX. For two bob and a toffee apple.

  SAM. He's insulting me. He's insulting his brother. I’m driving a man to Hampton Court at four forty-five.

  MAX. Do you want to know who could drive? MacGregor! MacGregor was a driver.

  SAM. Don't you believe it.

  MAX points his stick at SAM.

  MAX. He didn't even fight in the war. This man didn't even fight in the bloody war!

  SAM. I did!

  MAX. Who did you kill?

  Silence.

  SAM gets up, goes to RUTH, shakes her hand and goes out of the front door.

  MAX turns to TEDDY.

  Well, how you been keeping, son?

  TEDDY. I've been keeping very well, Dad.

  MAX. It's nice to have you with us, son.

  TEDDY. It's nice to be back, Dad.

  Pause.

  MAX. You should have told me you were married, Teddy. I'd have sent you a present. Where was the wedding, in America?

  TEDDY. No, here. The day before we left.

  MAX. Did you have a big function?

  TEDDY. No, there was no-one there.

  MAX. You're mad. I'd have given you a white wedding. We'd have had the cream of the cream here. I'd have been only too glad to bear the expense, my word of honour.

  Pause.

  TEDDY. You were busy at the time. I didn't want to bother you.

  MAX. But you're my own flesh and blood. You're my first born. I'd have dropped everything. Sam would have driven you to the reception in the Snipe, Lenny would have been your best man, and then we'd have all seen you off on the boat. I mean, you don't think I disapprove of marriage, do you? Don't be daft. (To RUTH.) I've been begging my two youngsters for years to find a nice feminine girl with proper credentials – it makes life worth living. (To TEDDY.) Anyway, what's the difference, you did it, you made a wonderful choice, you've got a wonderful family, a marvellous career . . . so why don't we let bygones by bygones?

  Pause.

  You know what I'm saying? I want you both to know that you have my blessing.

  TEDDY. Thank you.

  MAX. Don't mention it. How many other houses in the district have got a Doctor of Philosophy sitting down drinking a cup of coffee?

  Pause.

  RUTH. I'm sure Teddy's very happy . . . to know that you're pleased with me.

  Pause.

  I think he wondered whether you would be pleased with me.

  MAX. But you're a charming woman.

  Pause.

  RUTH. I was . . .

  MAX. What?

  Pause.

  What she say?

  They all look at her.

  RUTH. I was . . . different . . . when I met Teddy . . . first.

  TEDDY. No you weren't. You were the same.

  RUTH. I wasn't.

  MAX. Who cares? Listen, live in the present, what are you worrying about? I mean, don't forget the earth's about five thousand million years old, at least. Who can afford to live in the past?

  Pause.

  TEDDY. She's a great help to me over there. She's a wonderful wife and mother. She's a very popular woman. She's got lots of friends. It's a great life, at the University . . . you know . . . it's a very good life. We've got a lovely house . . . we've got all . . . we've got everything we want. It's a very stimulating environment.

  Pause.

  My department . . . is highly successful.

  Pause.

&n
bsp; We've got three boys, you know.

  MAX. All boys? Isn't that funny, eh? You've got three, I've got three. You've got three nephews, Joey. Joey! You're an uncle, do you hear? You could teach them how to box.

  Pause.

  JOEY (to RUTH). I'm a boxer. In the evenings, after work. I'm in demolition in the daytime.

  RUTH. Oh?

  JOEY. Yes. I hope to be full time, when I get more bouts.

  MAX (to LENNY). He speaks so easily to his sister-in-law, do you notice? That's because she's an intelligent and sympathetic woman.

  He leans to her.

  Eh, tell me, do you think the children are missing their mother?

  She looks at him.

  TEDDY. Of course they are. They love her. We'll be seeing them soon.

  Pause.

  LENNY (to TEDDY). Your cigar's gone out.

  TEDDY. Oh, yes.

  LENNY. Want a light?

  TEDDY. No. No.

  Pause.

  So has yours.

  LENNY. Oh, yes.

  Pause.

  Eh, Teddy, you haven't told us much about your Doctorship of Philosophy. What do you teach?

  TEDDY. Philosophy.

  LENNY. Well, I want to ask you something. Do you detect a certain logical incoherence in the central affirmations of Christian theism?

  TEDDY. That question doesn't fall within my province.

  LENNY. Well, look at it this way . . . you don't mind my asking you some questions, do you?

  TEDDY. If they're within my province.

  LENNY. Well, look at it this way, How can the unknown merit reverence? In other words, how can you revere that of which you're ignorant? At the same time, it would be ridiculous to propose that what we know merits reverence. What we know merits any one of a number of things, but it stands to reason reverence isn't one of them. In other words, apart from the known and the unknown, what else is there?

  Pause.

  TEDDY. I'm afraid I'm the wrong person to ask.

  LENNY. But you're a philosopher. Come on, be frank. What do you make of all this business of being and not-being?

  TEDDY. What do you make of it?

  LENNY. Well, for instance, take a table. Philosophically speaking. What is it?

  TEDDY. A table.

  LENNY. Ah. You mean it's nothing else but a table. Well, some people would envy your certainty, wouldn't they, Joey? For instance, I've got a couple of friends of mine, we often sit round the Ritz Bar having a few liqueurs, and they're always saying things like that, you know, things like: Take a table, take it. All right, I say, take it, take a table, but once you've taken it, what you going to do with it? Once you've got hold of it, where you going to take it?

  MAX. You'd probably sell it.

  LENNY. You wouldn't get much for it.

  JOEY. Chop it up for firewood.

  LENNY looks at him and laughs.

  RUTH. Don't be too sure though. You've forgotten something. Look at me. I . . . move my leg. That's all it is. But I wear . . . underwear . . . which moves with me . . . it . . . captures your attention. Perhaps you misinterpret. The action is simple. It's a leg . . . moving. My lips move. Why don't you restrict . . . your observations to that? Perhaps the fact that they move is more significant . . . than the words which come through them. You must bear that . . . possibility . . . in mind.

  Silence

  TEDDY stands.

  I was born quite near here.

  Pause.

  Then . . . six years ago, I went to America.

  Pause.

  It's all rock. And sand. It stretches . . . so far . . . everywhere you look. And there's lots of insects there.

  Pause.

  And there's lots of insects there.

  Silence.

  She is still.

  MAX stands.

  MAX. Well, it's time to go to the gym. Time for your workout, Joey.

  LENNY (standing). I'll come with you.

  JOEY sits looking at RUTH.

  MAX. Joe.

  JOEY stands. The three go out.

  TEDDY sits by RUTH, holds her hand.

  She smiles at him.

  Pause.

  TEDDY. I think we'll go back. Mmnn?

  Pause.

  Shall we go home?

  RUTH. Why?

  TEDDY. Well, we were only here for a few days, weren't we? We might as well . . . cut it short, I think.

  RUTH. Why? Don't you like it here?

  TEDDY. Of course I do. But I'd like to go back and see the boys now.

  Pause.

  RUTH. Don't you like your family?

  TEDDY. Which family?

  RUTH. Your family here.

  TEDDY. Of course I like them. What are you talking about?

  Pause.

  RUTH. You don't like them as much as you thought you did?

  TEDDY. Of course I do. Of course I . . . like them. I don't know what you're talking about.

  Pause.

  Listen. You know what time of the day it is there now, do you?

  RUTH. What?

  TEDDY. It's morning. It's about eleven o'clock.

  RUTH. Is it?

  TEDDY. Yes, they're about six hours behind us . . . I mean . . . behind the time here. The boys'll be at the pool . . . now . . . swimming. Think of it. Morning over there. Sun. We'll go anyway, mmnn? It's so clean there.

  RUTH. Clean.

  TEDDY. Yes.

  RUTH. Is it dirty here?

  TEDDY. No, of course not. But it's cleaner there.

  Pause.

  Look, I just brought you back to meet the family, didn't I? You've met them, we can go. The fall semester will be starting soon.

  RUTH. You find it dirty here?

  TEDDY. I didn't say I found it dirty here.

  Pause.

  I didn't say that.

  Pause.

  Look. I'll go and pack. You rest for a while. Will you? They won't be back for at least an hour. You can sleep. Rest. Please.

  She looks at him.

  You can help me with my lectures when we get back. I'd love that. I'd be so grateful for it, really. We can bathe till October. You know that. Here, there's nowhere to bathe, except the swimming bath down the road. You know what it's like? It's like a urinal. A filthy urinal!

  Pause.

  You liked Venice, didn't you? It was lovely, wasn't it? You had a good week. I mean . . . I took you there. I can speak Italian.

  RUTH. But if I'd been a nurse in the Italian campaign I would have been there before.

  Pause.

  TEDDY. You just rest. I’ll go and pack.

  TEDDY goes out and up the stairs.

  She closes her eyes.

  LENNY appears from U.L.

  He walks into the room and sits near her.

  She opens her eyes.

  Silence.

  LENNY. Well, the evenings are drawing in.

  RUTH. Yes, it's getting dark.

  Pause.

  LENNY. Winter'll soon be upon us. Time to renew one's wardrobe.

  Pause.

  RUTH. That's a good thing to do.

  LENNY. What?

  Pause.

  RUTH. I always . . .

  Pause.

  Do you like clothes?

  LENNY. Oh, yes. Very fond of clothes.

  Pause.

  RUTH. I'm fond . . .

  Pause.

  What do you think of my shoes?

  LENNY. They're very nice.

  RUTH. No, I can't get the ones I want over there.

  LENNY. Can't get them over there, eh?

  RUTH. No . . . you don't get them there.

  Pause.

  I was a model before I went away.

  LENNY. Hats?

  Pause.

  I bought a girl a hat once. We saw it in a glass case, in a shop. I tell you what it had. It had a bunch of daffodils on it, tied with a black satin bow, and then it was covered with a cloche of black veiling. A cloche. I'm telling you. She was made for it.

&n
bsp; RUTH. No . . . I was a model for the body. A photographic model for the body.

  LENNY. Indoor work?

  RUTH. That was before I had . . . all my children.

  Pause.

  No, not always indoors.

  Pause.

  Once or twice we went to a place in the country, by train. Oh, six or seven times. We used to pass a . . . a large white water tower. This place . . . this house . . . was very big . . . the trees . . . there was a lake, you see . . . we used to change and walk down towards the lake . . . we went down a path . . . on stones . . . there were . . . on this path. Oh, just . . . wait . . . yes . . . when we changed in the house we had a drink. There was a cold buffet.

  Pause.

  Sometimes we stayed in the house but . . . most often . . . we walked down to the lake . . . and did our modelling there.

  Pause.

  Just before we went to America I went down there. I walked from the station to the gate and then I walked up the drive. There were lights on . . . I stood in the drive . . . the house was very light.

  TEDDY comes down the stairs with the cases. He puts them down, looks at LENNY.

  TEDDY. What have you been saying to her?

  He goes to RUTH.

  Here's your coat.

  LENNY goes to the radiogram and puts on a record of slow jazz.

  Ruth. Come on. Put it on.

  LENNY (to RUTH). What about one dance before you go?

  TEDDY. We're going.

  LENNY. Just one.

  TEDDY. No. We're going.

  LENNY. Just one dance, with her brother-in-law, before she goes.

  LENNY bends to her.

  Madam?

  RUTH stands. They dance, slowly.

  TEDDY stands, with RUTH’S coat.

  MAX and JOEY come in the front door and into the room.

  They stand.

  LENNY kisses RUTH. They stand, kissing.

  JOEY. Christ, she's wide open.

  Pause.

  She's a tart.

  Pause.

  Old Lenny's got a tart in here.

  JOEY goes to them. He takes RUTH’S arm. He smiles at LENNY. He sits with RUTH on the sofa, embraces and kisses her.

  He looks up at LENNY.

  Just up my street.

  He leans her back until she lies beneath him. He kisses her.

  He looks up at TEDDY and MAX.

  It's better than a rubdown, this.

  LENNY sits on the arm of the sofa. He caresses RUTH’S hair as JOEY embraces her.

  MAX comes forward, looks at the cases.

  MAX. You going. Teddy? Already?

  Pause.