Here's to Tomorrow

by Teagan Hunter

  “I’d do it,” he mutters as he walks back to his chair behind the counter.

  “Me too!” calls Liam, another coworker, from the door connecting the office and main shop.

  I’m surrounded by a bunch of fucking weirdos.

  Rae

  Two weeks later...

  Working at a bar sucks ass. It may seem glamorous on the outside, getting lots of tips and checking out hot guys all night long, but it’s not.

  Not even close.

  It’s mostly catty women, and to be honest, there’s too much ass-grabbing and not enough hot guys. It’s usually creepy men just looking for one of two things from said catty women: sex or blowjobs.

  Either way they aren’t getting any from me.

  Clarissa, the only waitress here tonight that hates me more than my own mother, is a different story. She hands out BJs like they are going out of style. Seriously. I think it was two dudes last night. And three the night before.

  In the four and some change years I’ve been working here, I’ve only ever had a problem with her. And it’s not that I really have the problem. She’s got a major one with me. What is it? I have no freakin’ clue. None. She just doesn’t seem to like me and thinks everything that I do is wrong. But I’m not really one for confrontation, so I just let it all roll off my shoulders.

  I’m currently on the receiving end of a glare and fierce finger-pointing from my beloved Clarissa.

  “What the fuck, Rae?” She has me cornered in the back hallway, shoving her too-long bright-pink fingernail in my face. “You just stole my table! I was just about to walk up to them. You saw me! I could have gotten some serious tips from them! They’ve been eye-fucking me all week and you took the table!”

  I smother a laugh because I know what Clarissa means by “serious tips” and it’s not money. She’s talking about hooking up. However, the table that I apparently stole belongs to my cousin Perry and his friends, none of whom would give her the time of day.

  I’m not trying to judge Clarissa, because what she does on her own time is her business. But when she does it at work in the parking lot, it kind of becomes my business. Especially when I’ve had to witness it a few times when I’m on break or leaving for the night. She seems to think that no one can see inside cars when it’s dark outside.

  Anyway, I don’t like it. It gives off the wrong kind of vibe for Clyde’s Bar & Grill. And this place doesn’t deserve that kind of reputation. It’s not too rowdy or too quiet, just perfectly mellow. The orange-and-blue theme of the bar keeps it bright and friendly—definitely not a sexy atmosphere. So it’s not a good place for Clarissa’s favorite pastime activities.

  “I’m sorry, Clarissa. I didn’t even see you walking up to them.” I honestly didn’t see her. Mostly because I try to ignore her, but whatever. “You can have the next two that come into my area. I promise.”

  It doesn’t actually work that way, but whatever. At Clyde’s, the first one to the table gets it. We all usually try to stay within our own little area, but in all honesty, every table is fair game.

  It’s different than the last place I worked, where we had our own sections. But the owner here likes the spontaneity of it all, likes that we all work the whole floor. It seems to do the job so far. And it’s fun. Makes the night go by faster.

  “Damn right I get the next one.” She gives me one last glare and flounces past me. I swear I can hear her mumble “bitch” as she goes by.

  I press out my apron and mentally roll my eyes before walking out of the hallway into the main bar. I’m tired and so not in the mood for her shit. My mind hasn’t really been focused for a couple days now and my nightmare is back so I haven’t been sleeping well these past couple weeks. On top of all that, after two plus weeks of not getting calls back on applications, I’m starting to feel like I’m never going to get out of here. And I want to.

  Last year I started to feel...lost.

  I’m not sure if that’s the right word, but for now, it feels like it is. Even though I know exactly where I am, I feel like I don’t. Which doesn’t make much sense—not even to me. I’m not sure what’s going on but I’m not fond of it.

  I want out. I want to start my life because it feels like I haven’t been living. Like something is missing.

  I just can’t figure out what.

  Shrugging off my doom and gloom thoughts, I look around the bar, taking in the customers and how my tables are doing.

  “Yo, Rae!” Benny, the bartender and our unofficial bouncer, calls out.

  Benny’s huge. So huge that I’m positive his muscles have muscles. He’s kind of scary-looking at first, but once you reach that blinding white smile on his face, you can see that he’s nothing but a big teddy bear. I would know, since I’ve been working at Clyde’s for almost five years now and we’ve gotten really close. He’s a big softy and so sweet; he’s easily one of the most caring and giving people I’ve ever met. He’d be the perfect boyfriend, too, if he weren’t almost as old as my dad and gay.

  I give him a quick high-five and place the drink order for my cousin’s table. It’s an easy order of just one Coke so far since the guys are still fighting over what pitcher of beer to get.

  “How’s my girl doing? You look down, honey.” An unnatural frown appears on his face. “You been sleeping okay?”

  Of course he would ask that. “Not really. It’s back,” I huff, referring to my nightmare.

  “Same as always?” he asks.

  I nod. “She’s always in it.”

  “Damn, girl. You need to get out of that head of yours. It can’t keep coming and going like that. I wonder what triggered this round.” He knows me all too well because he’s right. Something triggered them. They usually stay away for months at a time, then something happens, causing them to start up again.

  I’m not sure what it is. It’s been almost eight months since I’ve had one. A record really, because they’ve never stayed away so long.

  “I know. I can’t keep trucking along on three hours of sleep.” I shrug my shoulders in an “I give up” kind of way, causing Benny to throw me a sympathetic smile while handing me my drink.

  I turn to bring the drinks to my cousin, taking a few steps forward and glancing around, checking each of my tables to make sure I have everything I need.

  Holy shit!

  1. I apparently have some untapped superhero powers because I just had some serious Spidey-like reflexes going on to catch this Coke mid-air. Without looking.

  2. Those devastatingly perfect green eyes? The ones that belonged to that insanely hot mechanic? Yeah. I just caught them staring at me.

  Hudson is here.

  I suddenly can’t breathe. My chest feels so heavy. I’m frozen.

  And then I’m not, because I’m stumbling sideways.

  “Shit, Rae! Sorry!” My best friend Maura just ran right in to me. In front of Hudson. She grabs my arm to help steady me. “What the hell, woman? You were just stopped right in the middle of the floor.”

  She’s now looking at me with a mixture of concern and slight aggravation. I guess concern wins because then she looks over in the direction of where I was staring.

  “Who is that? Why’s he staring at you? Do you know him?” She starts firing off questions, looking back and forth between Hudson and me. I pull her to the side, out of Hudson’s view.

  “Remember a few weeks ago when my car broke down and I told you about that hot mechanic guy?”

  She shakes her head. “Henry?”

  “Hudson,” I correct her. “Well, he’s here.” She steps over to look again. I pull her back. “Stop it! He’s gonna know we’re talking about him. I can’t believe he’s here. Holy shit. I can’t believe he is here. I invited them in two weeks ago. Two. Weeks. What in the world is he doing here, Maura?”

  This is what most would call “freaking the fuck out,” but it’s slightly normal for me, so Maura doesn’t even bat an eyelash.

  “Looks like he’s waiting to make his drink or
der. Possibly ordering some food. With hot friends. Why didn’t you tell me he had hot friends?”

  She would focus on that. I can say with one hundred percent certainty that Hudson’s friends, no matter how attractive they are, won’t measure up to him because he’s absolutely beautiful. It’s not just because of his looks, though he’s definitely hot with his ink-black hair and towering, well-built frame. His eyes put him in the front of the pack. Those talking eyes. That’s what’s going to draw me in every time when it comes to him. I can tell already.

  “I didn’t know. Well...I kinda did. His friend Tucker was pretty hot. Back to the important thing here...HUDSON IS HERE!”

  And this is when I start having a mini-panic-attack because I definitely can’t breathe right now.

  I’m not even sure why I’m so worked up. I met this man two weeks ago. Two entire weeks. Honestly? It was two entire weeks of thinking of nothing but him. I don’t know what happened in that shop or during our test drive but something passed between us. Something nice. Something I know I’m going to like if I ever get the courage to ask for his number. I almost did before his buddy Tucker interrupted us.

  Now he’s here. At my place of employment. Sitting in my “section,” looking like he belongs in my world.

  I think I’d like him to.

  “Snap out of it, Rae!” Maura shakes my shoulders hard. “You just need to put on those old-ass big-girl granny panties you wear, go out there, and ask him what he wants to drink. Keep it light. Wait for him to say something about seeing you again first. God, I feel like I’m back in high school all over again.” And with that, she walks off, leaving me standing in the hallway still holding this damn Coke.

  Hudson

  The girl I’ve been thinking about non-stop for the last two weeks just froze in the middle of the bar when she caught my eyes burning holes into her.

  Is it good? Bad? Weird? Too soon?

  No matter the answer, I don’t care. She’s still beautiful. She still has that weird magnetism about her. I still feel like I know her, even though I don’t, and she still makes me wish I did.

  Like know her, know her.

  I have a feeling that if the other waitress hadn’t crashed in to her, she would still be standing there staring at me.

  I like that. I really like that.

  And I think they were talking about me in that hallway, because I saw the other little blonde waitress peek around the corner to look at me.

  Score!

  “Dude, Hudson, what the fuck are we doing here?” That’s Tanner. He’s obnoxious as hell.

  I’ve never been fond of the guy. He sort of rubs me the wrong way. Gives off this asshole vibe. Not the fun asshole that everyone secretly wishes they could be, like Tucker, but the asshole that’s...sleazy? Yeah, that fits him. I don’t think it’s really truly who he is, but I’ll be damned if he doesn’t come off that way. All the time.

  What’s the part that keeps him around? For starters, he’s Tucker’s older brother so we kind of have to. Also, he’s a soldier, and no matter how much of a dick he is, you don’t fucking ditch soldiers because they keep your ass free.

  “Wing night, man!” Leave it to Tucker to save my ass. He shoots me a look, pretty much telling me not to let Tanner know of my interest in the waitress that almost went crashing to the floor.

  How does Tucker know? Easy. He’s my best friend and he can read me better than even I can sometimes. He knows something’s up and that I’ve been off my game for the last two weeks because all I can seem to think about is Rae, when I’m not supposed to be thinking of anyone other than Joey right now.

  It’s almost scary how well Tuck knows me. We’ve been best friends since we were fifteen. He moved into the oldest, most beat-up house in the neighborhood and some kids started giving him crap for it. That didn’t last too long. I took him under my wing and he ended up whooping those kids’ asses. It was hilarious watching those little hoodlums run away from a kid that was half their size, because they totally deserved it.

  Since then, he’s been glued to my side, sticking with me through all the shit that’s been thrown at me. And it’s been some pretty deep shit considering I became a father a little too soon in life.

  I look back over to where I last saw Rae just in time to watch her walk out of the darkened hallway. My eyes follow her as she carefully avoids our table to drop the soda off about five tables away.

  She must know the people sitting there, because she seems to be pretty cozy with one of the guys. Touching his shoulder, she bursts into fits of laughter and I swear my heart stops.

  I’m not sure if it’s because she’s touching some other guy with obvious familiarity or if it’s her laugh.

  It’s breathtaking. I’ve never known a laugh to be breathtaking before, but Rae’s definitely is.

  Holy shit.

  The fact that I don’t even know this girl and I’m so damn drawn to her scares the crap out of me. I’ve never—and I mean never—been so tuned in to another person before. It’s fascinating. And terrifying because I still can’t get to know her. At least not like I really want to, because most girls aren’t looking to date a single dad.

  Before I can even clear my head and start breathing again, she’s standing in front of me. Tucker throws an elbow to my side. I snap out of my haze and exhale.

  “Hey, what can I get you boys tonight?”

  Apparently we’re all unable to speak. Then we do. All at once.

  “Dr. Pepper.”

  “Coke.”

  “Sam Adams.”

  “Water.”

  She blinks quickly and then repeats it back to us. We all nod like idiots. “Great! I’ll be right back with those drinks.”

  Then she’s gone. “Isn’t that the same chick you were checking out when we first got here, Hudson?” Fuckin’ Tanner. Apparently he noticed. Great.

  “I wasn’t checking her out. She just looks familiar. I think we did a job for her a few weeks ago.” I look to Tucker, hoping he’ll go along with me. He dips his head slightly, letting me know he understands.

  Then I eyeball Gaige, my other best friend, letting him know too. He shrugs his shoulders and goes back to picking apart the napkin he’s been playing with.

  Gaige is very…quiet. He’s comes off as kind of shy, but he’s not. He just chooses his words carefully and I completely respect that. Words are important and he’s not into wasting them. He’s been this way for as long as I can remember. He’s the prettiest asshole among us, but doesn’t use his charm, like Tucker does, or attempt to, like Tanner does. It’s not his style. When I met him at seventeen, I thought he was moody and antisocial. After I got to know him better I realized that he’s just…thoughtful. And a damn good friend.

  “We did. Tranny, right?” Thank you, Tucker.

  “Yep!” Gaige pipes in.

  These dudes are lifesavers.

  Once Tanner gets catches wind of this kind of shit—someone liking someone else—he never stops. Like ever. I mean like years later never stops kind of thing.

  “Oh, cool.” And he bought it.

  That’s when I realize I’m now going to have to say something to her because if I don’t, he will and that will end in nothing but disaster.

  Rae

  Not sure if I’m unlucky or lucky that Clarissa didn’t snag their table first. I’m going to go ahead and go with lucky, because at least the likelihood of finding her out in the parking lot with one of them later is a lot smaller. That makes me breathe a little easier.

  I load the tray up with their drinks while Benny eyeballs me from behind the bar. He can tell something’s up. Probably because my hands are shaking so badly. I can’t help it. My heart is pounding hard from just being near him. I have no idea how I’m actually going to serve them all night.

  Breathe, Rae. Just breathe. I repeat this over and over and over again until it starts working.

  By the time I make it back over to their table, my hands are mostly steady as I pass out the drin
ks.

  “Were you guys ready to order or did you need a few minutes? We’ve got a great wing special tonight. Ten cents a wing for traditional and twenty cents a wing for boneless, all you can eat.” I do my best to put some pep into my speech and clear my voice of the shakiness I’m still feeling.

  This time Hudson speaks up. “Uh, I’ll take twenty boneless hot wings. Please.”

  Eight words. After two entire weeks of thinking about this insanely attractive man almost non-stop, eight words are all I get (because I’m so not counting his request for Dr. Pepper).

  Fantasy over.

  “Also, I know this might sound weird, but you look familiar. Did you happen to get your car fixed at my shop a couple weeks ago?”

  Fantasy back on. Kind of.

  I’m not sure if he’s just playing dumb or if I’m actually that forgettable. If he truly doesn’t remember me, I may have to cry later because I don’t think I imagined our…connection. I’m almost positive I didn’t. And what was with all his staring? Unless he really doesn’t remember me and was just trying to place me.

  Crap. Just play it cool.

  I decide to follow my own advice. Or at least I think I’m following my own advice. “I did. Jacked Up, right? You’re Hudson.” I look to the guy next to him. “And you’re Tucker. Ever get past that level of Mad Maxwell?”

  Tucker grins. “I did. How’s your car doing? ‘01 red Toyota, was it? Ms. Kamden?”

  It seems I’ve been focusing on the wrong Jacked Up employee. Tucker just got a whole lot hotter with all his remembering. Not that he was bad to look at in the first place with his blond hair, tattoos, and golden eyes. That’s a dangerous combination for some but not for me, because even though he clearly remembers me, I’m all about Hudson. Or at least my head is because he’s all I’ve been replaying these past few weeks. Not Tucker.

  “You’re right. And it’s just Rae.”

  “Right. I knew all that,” Hudson puffs out, looking at Tucker with a murderous glare.

  Huh, apparently he does remember me. Guess I wasn’t the only one trying to keep my cool.