Evil Of Love

by Echeverria, N. L.

  Evil of Love

  A novel by

  N.L. Echeverria

  Copyright © 2013 N. L. Echeverria. All rights reserved.

  No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping, or by any information storage retrieval system, without the permission, in writing, of the publisher.

  Cover Art By: Stephanie White of Steph’s Cover Design: paranormal, fantasy, horror & more

  ISBN-13: 978-1631022760

  Dedication

  Writing a novel and having readers pick them up and enjoy them is one of my dreams. I feel that making people aware of my writing and stories I have to tell couldn’t have been done without the help of all the bloggers that share my books and are constantly spreading the word as well as leaving their own reviews. I won’t name any in particular as there are too many to count, but you may never know how grateful I am for all of your help. I dedicate this novel to all the bloggers, friends and family who have spread the word about my novels and shared with their friends.

  Acknowledgments

  In all my novels my biggest thank you always goes out to my wonderful, caring, and supportive husband who works hard and spends his free time coaching our three boys in sports and still finds time to be an amazing husband. Thank you to my mom, who listens to me for hours while I tell her all my ideas for my novels and who always encourages me and tells everyone and anyone about my books. Thank you, Katie Smith who takes her free time to read my novels and analyze every piece in an effort to perfect them. My cover artist Stephanie White from Steph’s Cover Design who has created this beautiful art work because most of us do read books based off the first impression. I want to thank my beautiful sister Shala Alexander for showing so much enthusiasm when it comes to my writing and my sister-in-law Marybel Echeverria who is the first to read my books and always gives me her wonderful suggestions. A BIG THANK YOU to all my friends who have read and shared my novels with others. To everyone who continues to read my books, THANK YOU!

  Preface

  Weak. Depressed. Submissive. These are all words that describe me. They describe who and what I am. I allowed my father to control and abuse me growing up and now as an adult I can’t seem to come to terms with the fact that maybe I deserve better. Nothing I did was ever good enough growing up and my father was never afraid to give me a piece of his mind. He was always so hateful to me and made sure I knew how utterly worthless he felt I was. He let me know just what a waste of space I was every day of my life. Eric Sutherland was the only one in my life that truly cared. The only one who had ever tried to show me what it was like to have someone love you.

  I watch him, I watch with complete astonishment. To tear my eyes away is almost painful. I’ve hurt for ten years and finally when I think I’m mending, or at least dealing with my heartache, he has to show up and bring all the love, fear and sorrow rising to the surface. Those same emerald green eyes looking right back at me and I see it in him; the emotions that I’ve been hiding from for years. The one man who never hurt me. He was filled with only love, but I had to run. I couldn’t ruin him with my problems. I had to let go of the one I loved and now he’s back; returned at the worst possible moment in my life.

  Married now for two years to a man I love, a man who helped cover the pain I felt for so long. Even with the bad that comes with being married to a controlling man, he still loves me, regardless of how fucked up other people may see us. Eric can’t just come stepping back into my life and think I’m going to drop everything and life will go back to the way it was when we were seventeen. At least that’s what I keep telling myself.

  I’m a married woman now, but that side of me, the side that is craving freedom from abuse, the part of me that is screaming to get away from a controlling relationship, takes me back to my childhood and growing up with an abusive father.

  I never thought that at twenty seven my life would be this way. I never thought that I would see Eric again and now I’m faced with a decision that may cause the end of any hope I ever had at being happy.

  Chapter One

  I turn to face my dad looking into his empty eyes, Eric’s hand still in mine, as he stands next to me completely unknowing and in the dark as to where my dad’s anger is coming from. In moments like these, it doesn’t matter, I know from experience. The fact is his anger is directed at me and I’m completely defenseless. Tears pool up in the corners of my eyes but I refuse to let him break me down, I take every verbal blow he has to throw at me. My mom has already locked herself in her room down the hall probably crying her eyes out and utterly unconcerned with me but my dad is too angry to notice otherwise he would have gone after her, furious. Eric is standing by my side squeezing my hand reassuring me he is still here, but he has no idea how far a situation like this can go. His beautiful green eyes watch the scene as it plays out in front of him and all my shame surfaces. I never wanted him to see this part of my life, but it’s so unpredictable it was bound to happen.

  Eric’s been the only good thing in the world that I live in, that’s pure and full of love, he’s never hurt me and when you come from a family that only hurts you, it’s hard to believe that there is any other kind of love. Eric gives me hope. It’s why I’ve been avoiding my father meeting him for so long. I know deep down that once Eric see’s my father and the man he is and what I’m faced with every day, he won’t want any part of it.

  My dad towers over the both of us, mostly staring straight at me, yelling profanities. I guess him coming home from the bar and finding me studying in my room with my door shut with a boy was enough to send him off the deep end. His dark brown eyes reveal nothing other than the evil that lives within him. I know there’s love, there has to be, but when the alcohol takes over any sort of love he may have for me completely disappears. I squeeze Eric’s hand tighter and with the small move of my arm my dad’s eyes shoot straight down to our linked fingers. If it was possible steam would probably come out of his ears as I watch his anger heighten.

  “Stephanie, at age seventeen you’ve already created a name for yourself. SLUT! You’re worthless! And this boy here is nothing more than a piece of shit!”

  He grabs my arm yanking me with so much force I release Eric’s hand and fall forward to the ground catching myself on my knees with my free hand out in front of me. He doesn’t release the grip he has on me. I can feel the pain shooting through my arm and I know there will be bruising. The tears are already pouring down my cheeks uncontrollably. My auburn hair covering my face as I stare at the ground avoiding his anger struck eyes. I feel Eric behind me reaching to help me up, but my dad won’t let it happen.

  “Touch her and you will regret it! Stand up Stephanie! Don’t be a child! You bring this on yourself. Your mother is just the same and she didn’t raise you any better, a worthless selfish little bitch!” he hollers and his words vibrate through every being of my body.

  I gather myself, preparing for what is coming next, and stand up. His grip only gets tighter on my arm. At this point Eric is standing behind me and I know he doesn’t have a clue what to do and I don’t blame him. Having a drunk for a father, everything is unexpected. My heart hurts for Eric. He shouldn’t have to experience this. He’s filled with so much love and I won’t blame him if he never wants to see me again. My father’s right. I’m not worth Eric’s love or anyone else’s. I don’t deserve it. Standing here looking into his dark brown eyes I don’t see any compassion in my dad for me, how can a father treat his daughter this way unless she truly does deserve this kind of abuse. My father hates me and I’m the cause of it!

  “I don’t want to see you for the rest of the night Stephanie. You disgust me! Get your piece of shit fri
end out of my house and don’t let me see you the rest of the night!”

  Finally he drops my arm and turns around stomping off towards his bedroom. I quickly grab Eric’s hand and dart for the front door, knowing that I have to get out of here before the fight breaks out between my dad and mom. I don’t want to be in the way. Once we’re at least a block down the street I stop and face Eric. His big green eyes watching me with concern and fear and all I want to do is melt in his arms and never go back to the hell that I call home. I’m afraid though that I’ve lost the only person in my life that is worth loving. There’s no way he’s going to want anything to do with me after experiencing that. Tears start streaming down my cheeks again as my heart breaks and my chest begins to hurt. Unexpectedly, he steps forward and wraps me in his arms kissing my forehead. The warmth of his skin filling my heart back up with hope. The smell of his body and blonde hair blowing in the breeze consumes my senses.

  “Baby, it’s okay. None of this is your fault. You don’t deserve to be treated like that. Why didn’t you tell me before?”

  The tears keep coming especially at the sound of his sympathetic voice. How can he even want me? “I thought you would leave if you knew how my life really is. I thought you wouldn’t want me.” Sobs start to build up in my throat and I take a few breaths attempting to control the crying before it gets out of hand.

  “Stephanie! No one deserves to be treated the way that your dad treats you. Please understand this. It’s not your fault. I wouldn’t leave because your dad is an asshole. You deserve so much more from life. If I could I would take you away from all of this. Promise me that as soon as you can you will move away from him even if we’re no longer together.” The thought of not having him in my life makes my heart hurt that much more, but I nod my head, promising to get away from my father at the first opportunity.

  “I can’t go back there. Not tonight, Eric.” I hug him tighter hoping with all my heart he will stay with me tonight.

  “I wouldn’t let you go back there, Steph. Please stay at my place. I know my parents will understand.” He kisses my neck gently and my whole body begins to warm back up with his every touch.

  “Please, let’s just walk; you and me. I want to cool down and clear my head before I face your parents.” The reality is that I don’t want his parents to think that I’m a crazy person. It’s bad enough I come from a crazy family.

  “Of course, gorgeous. I know a quiet place. I’ll take you there.”

  As we walk he keeps his hand around my shoulder, holding me tight to him. It’s the middle of fall and most of the leaves have fallen to the ground which fills the busy city streets with wonderful fall colors. It’s the most beautiful season even if the cold is uncomfortable. I have my black pee-coat on and even with Eric’s arm around me I’m still chilled. A gust of wind blows my long auburn hair all around and in my face so I stop to pull my hood over my head holding my hair back and then continue on in Eric’s embrace. He doesn’t seem fazed in his long grey coat and black beanie. The green in his eyes shine bright against the grey clothing. I could never get tired of looking at him.

  We continue down the busy city street, brushing up against other pedestrians on our way. The walkways are always crowded out here, but people-watching is the greatest thing about the city. I absolutely enjoy the huge variety there is in individuals. Sometimes I imagine being one of them; someone who is not living this nightmare that I’m constantly faced with. Moments like these I imagine I’m that perky blonde haired cheerleader with the parents that buy her anything and everything she wants. Praising her for absolutely anything she does. It would be nice to once have parents that when they look at you there eyes light up with pure joy. We pass building after building until we come to what looks like an old abandoned church, or maybe it just appears to be abandoned since its eight o’clock on a Thursday night.

  “Let’s just say this is my private place. I like to come here when I want to get away or to just have some alone time. It’s been abandoned for years now. Almost no one ever comes here. Come on, Steph,” Eric says, walking up to the entrance.

  He takes my hand opening the old creaky church door and guides me through. The door closes loudly behind us causing me to jump and Eric just smiles back at me. The room is dark with almost no light from the windows and it and all of a sudden I loose Eric’s hand. It only takes a moment and a bright light is illuminating his huge white grin. I look down at his hand and see a large flashlight.

  “Come on. The best spot in here is up that way,” he exclaims turning around.

  He points to the dark hallway, flashing his light to some old steep steps that lead up to the second floor of the building. I can barely see anything so I hold tight to Eric’s free hand and follow closely behind him. The building smells of old mildew mixed with the smell of trees or bushes and I also get a small hint of peppermint and cologne which I know is Eric’s cologne. He smells yummy and inviting.

  As we reach the top of the creaky old stair case he turns the light to me and gives me a quick wink before turning down the long hallway. The walls are dark and appear to have photos hanging on them, but it’s hard to make out what the photos are of without much light. He turns to his left at the end of the long hallway and we come to what appears to be a room. As he flashes the light around in the room I can see books everywhere. The walls are filled with books and there are tables staked with them as well. He shines the light to the corner of the room where there are blankets and pillows stacked on the floor making a perfect place to settle into.

  “There isn’t any light in here since there’s no electricity, but I made this sitting area over here and sometimes I come here and select a book and sit down with my flash light loosing myself in the stories.”

  “Wow! That sounds really nice, Eric,” I sigh.

  “Come on. Why don’t you grab a book and we’ll sit down and I’ll read to you.”

  I walk around the room not letting go of Eric’s hand, due to fear that I might trip if he lets go of me. He points the flashlight at the books slowly skimming over them and once he gets to one that intrigues me I grab it from the shelf on the wall and hold it to my chest.

  “This one,” I whisper. It isn’t a book I’ve ever read before, but for no important reason I’m drawn to it. Eric, still holding my hand, walks me over to the sitting area in the corner. He sits down first making sure to leave enough room for me to squeeze in and I snuggle in between his outstretch legs with my back against his chest. He begins reading and I’m perfectly settled into his warm and safe embrace. However, regardless of us being here alone together I can’t help but have a bad feeling that this is the beginning of the end.

  ***

  The time goes by fast and I still sit in Eric’s embrace as he stops reading to shine the flashlight on his thick black watch that is around his wrist. It’s the watch I purchased for him last Christmas.

  “Eleven O’clock. We should probably get going, Steph. I won’t doubt if my mom calls me soon worried about where we are.” Not willingly I stand up giving Eric room to stand as well. He shines the light out in front of him reaching for my hand and gripping it tight. I follow him closely as we find our way back out the abandoned church.

  “Do you think your parents will question me? I really don’t think I can talk about my dad right now,” I ask.

  As we step outside of the church the street lamps light up the sidewalk and I’m now able to see Eric’s beautiful green eyes looking down at me as we stand face to face and hand in hand.

  “Don’t worry. I plan to sneak you in.”

  I nod in response, glad that I won’t have to face his parents. He holds me close as we continue to make our way down the sidewalk. Eric and I have been seeing each other for almost two years now. I remember the first day I saw him my sophomore year, his shaggy blonde hair and his large green eyes pulled me in. He isn’t what you call popular, but he’s tall, handsome and has the look of someone who doesn’t care what other people think. I was
instantly drawn to him and ever since we have been inseparable. He is the kindness person in my life. I’m still a virgin and he has never pressured me for sex. He has an understanding of how delicate I am and constantly reminds me he will wait until I’m ready. My mom and dad have never been supportive of my relationship with Eric, but they really haven’t been supportive of anything I do, so I guess it doesn’t even matter. My mom’s always too busy fighting with my dad and my dad is too busy being angry. I learned a long time ago to give up on trying to impress them even though all I’ve ever wanted to do was just make them proud of me. Nothing I do will ever be good enough.

  Eric’s arm tightly around my shoulder I realize we’ve made it to his home. He takes me around to the side to enter through the back door. All lights are off and the home seems so peaceful, unlike what my home probably is right now. I can only imagine the fight my parents are having at this moment. The thought of my mom on her knees crying uncontrollably and my dad towering over her telling her how worthless she is causes me to shudder. I shake my head at the image, clearing it from my mind. It only hurts to think about. Eric turns to me placing his finger over my lips, silently telling me to be quiet and I smile against his finger in response. Oh, the thought of those long fingers on me, comforting me has my hormones flaming. He turns back and guides me quietly through his house, passing through the kitchen, then living room until we make it to the stairs. Once we’re up stairs we walk to the end of the hallway and enter his room. He closes the door behind us, careful not to make a noise and turns the lock. He turns around facing me and moves his hand up to cup my cheek while brushing my auburn hair back behind my ear. He leans in and as our lips touch all the sorrow from before dissipates and I’m lost in his kiss. He pulls away slowly looking at me with only love filling those brilliant green eyes.