Love or Justice

by Rachel Mannino

  Dante buried his face into Laurie’s hair, breathing deeply.

  “Are you really happy about the baby?” Laurie squeezed his hand.

  Her question roused him. He rolled so he half covered her body. He kissed her temple, and she turned her head to look at him. He smiled, as he stroked the hair away from her forehead.

  “No.” He caressed her cheek. “I told you I’m ecstatic. Why?”

  “I just didn’t know if your feelings had changed because of the trial.”

  He shook his head.

  “No, not at all.”

  Laurie let out a deep breath, smiling up at Dante. At least he sounded sincere about that. There was no underlying doubt, no hesitation. He was happy about the baby. He just wasn’t happy about the trial. Laurie felt a twinge of guilt as Dante kissed her with a deep, slow, soul-searching kiss. Then he laid down beside her once more.

  “Do you think they’ll let you protect me?”

  Dante paused.

  “I don’t know. But I’m going to try, Laurie. I’m going to do everything I can.”

  “I know.” A little laugh escaped her lips. “You always have.”

  He kissed the base of her neck, then rested his chin there.

  Laurie let her thoughts wander to the impossible, to another universe with another set of given circumstances. She let herself think about what would be possible without Kaimi in the picture. What would they do if there were no trial? The dreams and fantasies that came to mind made her throat burn.

  “I wish we didn’t have to go back.” Laurie’s voice strained into a whisper.

  “I know.” He gathered her closer.

  “I wish we could just stay here, and move into the orchard house. I wouldn’t have to go on the witness stand. You wouldn’t have to go back to your job. We can just work the orchard.” Laurie traced lazy patterns on his arm.

  “That would be perfect.” Dante nuzzled her neck.

  “It would be perfect.” Laurie smiled. “We could raise a family here. They would be safe. We’d pick grapes, apples, and pears. We could sell them in the market for money. It would be a perfect life.”

  “Yes, it would,” Dante murmured against her skin.

  “Good night.” Laurie let out a wistful sigh, squeezing his hands.

  “Good night.”

  As they drifted off to sleep, they dreamed the same dream of walking through the orchard together with their two children, and running toward the pear trees to get the ripest fruit.

  CHAPTER

  TWENTY-TWO

  The week passed in a haze for Laurie and Dante. On Monday, Dante and Laurie rented a car. They went to Fremont for Laurie’s doctor appointment and to finish some last minute Christmas shopping. They had both lost track of time. They hadn’t even realized Christmas would be on Tuesday.

  The doctor’s visit fascinated Dante. He kept asking questions right up until the sonogram started. Then he stared at the screen in silence with the widest grin on his face. He grabbed her hand, then pressed it to his heart. Laurie’s heart had swelled near to bursting. Dante had walked out of the office like a zombie, dropping his keys, forgetting where he parked. He drove a few counties over into Iowa before he mailed Rick a copy of the tape from the safe house. Laurie didn’t want to see it. Dante didn’t ask.

  ***

  Christmas was as hectic an affair as Thanksgiving. The boys slept in the living room, waiting for Santa to come. After they fell asleep in the early hours of the morning, Dante and Albert laid out the gifts under the tree. The next morning, the boys tore into everything, attacking one present and leaving it behind to tear into another.

  The adults all took turns opening their gifts. Neither Dante nor Laurie had had a real Christmas—a Christmas surrounded by family—in years, so they were equally shocked with each gift they were handed.

  Laurie cried when she opened Dante’s present to find a small necklace with a hand painted orchid on it, a reminder of their day at the waterfall near Mauna Kea. Laurie gave Dante a watch, with the date they first met engraved on the back. Everyone else showered them with gifts for the baby: diaper bags, a little handmade quilt, clothes, and lots of toys. With the gifts finished, they commenced with cooking, eating, and taking tons of photos, before settling down to watch a movie.

  They spent Wednesday helping Bob and Gabriella pack up and get ready to leave. On Thursday, they all had breakfast together, but then they went out to the van to say goodbye. They were a somber group as they stood out in the driveway. Laurie gave Gabriella a fierce hug goodbye. Then she sniffled and held each of the boys until they started to squirm. Dante hugged each of them in turn.

  “You marry that girl,” Bob whispered loudly to Dante as they said goodbye. “I mean it.”

  Dante laughed, but Laurie’s heart skipped a beat when his gaze slid to her with a smile.

  “You had better.” Bob released him.

  Dante put his arm around Laurie. He stood there smiling as Bob shook hands with Albert, and hugged Emma.

  Then Bob got in the driver’s seat of the van, turned the van around, and drove down the driveway blaring his horn.

  Friday was quiet. With half of their house now empty, it just sounded less alive. Without having the boys to teach, Emma and Laurie wandering around the kitchen in the morning. They didn’t know what to do with themselves, until Emma dusted off some old knitting supplies and started teaching Laurie.

  Dante packed everything up for their flight the next day.

  Laurie couldn’t face that chore. Laurie knew they didn’t come with much, but they had somehow accumulated an entire bag of items she knew they didn’t come with. Laurie made sure they took back pictures of the family from Christmas. She also needed her medical records, vitamins, and books on expecting a baby. They had come to this house as semi-fugitives, with little on them and trusting no one. It seemed they were leaving an entire life behind just to go back.

  Saturday dawned bright and sunny, though everyone in the farmhouse had privately wished for a sudden blizzard. Emma made breakfast with Laurie, but when Dante and Albert walked in, Emma was crying on Laurie’s shoulder. Dante and Albert looked at each other. They sank into their seats at the table, and stayed as quiet as possible. Laurie managed to get Emma pulled together enough to sit down for breakfast.

  “I want you to call me as soon as you land.” Emma gripped Laurie’s hand, sniffling.

  “I will, Mom.” Dante nodded.

  “You make sure she takes all of those vitamins. Laurie has to find a good OB/GYN in Hawaii or wherever it is they send her.” Emma wiped her eyes.

  “I know, Mom. I got everything from the doctor she’ll need.” Dante smiled.

  Emma grabbed his hand, squeezing it. Dante tried not to grimace, but his mother had a very firm, insistent grip on him.

  “You’re going to talk to them about expediting the trial?” Emma squeezed harder.

  “Yes. I’ll talk to the DA himself if I have to. I’m pretty sure they’ll want to put Kaimi away as quickly as possible, given all he’s done.” Dante patted her hand with his free hand.

  “You remember, anytime you need to talk honey, anytime.” Emma teared up again.

  “They won’t let her make phone calls to a burner phone like yours. Her calls all have to go through the main switchboard.” Dante spoke gently.

  “Well, you’ll be there, so anytime she wants to speak to me you let her!” Emma’s mouth settled into a hard line.

  Dante flinched. He didn’t respond, just nodded his head. His mother finally let go of him.

  Dante rubbed his sore fingers in relief.

  “Oh, God. I wish you didn’t have to go back.” Emma sniffled again.

  “Emma…” Albert said.

  Emma was crying into her eggs and toast.

  Laurie made a move to comfort her, but Albert beat her to it. He stood, kneading his wife’s shoulders.

  Dante heaved a sigh, picking up his plate and Laurie’s. When he came back to the table, he sat bes
ide Laurie, rubbing her back while she stared at her breakfast. Laurie felt like she was being orphaned for a second time. He sighed.

  “It’ll be okay, you know?” He tried to soothe them both. “The trial will be over before we know it.”

  Both women nodded, but they didn’t listen. Albert finally cleared his throat.

  “I think it’s time for you and Laurie to get going.” Albert nodded to the door.

  Laurie looked at the clock. Dante’s father was right. If they delayed much longer, they might miss their flight.

  Dante helped Laurie up, leading her toward the door.

  Emma and Albert followed them out to the rental car to say goodbye.

  “You take c…care…of her.” Emma hugged her son.

  “I will, Mom. I promise.” He gave her a big, long hug.

  “I mean it. You tell me the second she goes into labor. I’ll get right on the next plane.” Emma squeezed him.

  Dante blanched.

  “Okay, Mom. I will.” Dante gave her a kiss goodbye.

  Laurie hugged Emma again. They stood there holding one another while Emma tried to pass on as much information about motherhood as she could possibly cram into the few minutes they had.

  Albert surprised Laurie by pulling Dante into a hug.

  Dante’s eyes widened as he met Laurie’s gaze over his father’s shoulder.

  “You take care of yourself.” Albert patted Dante’s back.

  “I will. Take care of Mom.” Dante broke their embrace.

  “Always.” Albert clapped him on the back one last time. Albert released him, but grabbed Dante by the shoulder.

  “You’re a damn good agent. They would be fools not to give you back your job after everything you’ve done.” Albert squeezed his shoulder.

  “Thanks. We’ll just see how it goes.” Dante gave an unconfident shrug.

  “I’m real proud of you. You know that, don’t you?” Albert asked.

  Dante paused as the praise sank in.

  Laurie watched as Dante looked up into his father’s eyes. For once, his father’s expression was open, unguarded. There was vulnerability there, a need to know that Dante understood how his father felt. Laurie’s heart lifted for them both. A smile played at the corner of Dante’s lips.

  “Yeah, I do.” He nodded, looking away. He looked back at his dad. “Thanks for your help with everything. I don’t know where we’d be without you and Mom taking us in, and you helping me get to Kaimi.”

  Albert gave him one of his rare smiles.

  “Of course I would help you.” Albert paused as he snaked his arm around Dante’s shoulders. “It was fun. It was a lot of fun putting the cuffs on him after all these years.”

  Dante laughed at his father’s blissful smile, and the twinkle that came into his eyes.

  Laurie wanted to laugh with him, but she didn’t want to distract Emma.

  Dante lowered his voice as he spoke into his father’s ear, but Laurie heard him as Emma turned away to blow her nose.

  “Yeah, that part was a lot of fun. But I wouldn’t tell Mom if you want to live.” Dante raised his eyebrows at him.

  Albert laughed. Laurie had never seen him laugh before, at least not a deep, genuine laugh.

  Shaking his head in amazement, Dante stood next to his father for a few moments. Then, Dante took Laurie by the hand, made several more promises to his mother, and led Laurie to the waiting car.

  Feeling like she couldn’t breathe, Laurie strapped on her seatbelt. They watched out of the car mirrors as the farmhouse slipped away behind them.

  Laurie glanced at the clock. Dante was driving slower than usual, below the speed limit. Laurie nestled into her seat, sniffling. The farms rolled past. Dante turned onto the road that led to the airport. Dante’s breathing changed. Laurie looked over. He was grabbing at his seat belt. He was breathing in fits and gasps. He pulled off to the side of road, yanking off his seatbelt so forcefully it snapped.

  “Dante? What’s wrong?”

  He didn’t answer. He sat in the driver’s seat gasping for air.

  “Dante, what is it?”

  Dante forced open the door, almost falling out of the car. He rolled to his left, placing his hands on the side of the back window, trying to hold himself upright. He kept gasping for air.

  Laurie launched out of the car, running around the vehicle to him. Tears were running down his cheeks when she reached him.

  “Dante? Tell me what’s wrong!” She placed one of her hands on his chest, and the other around his back, in half an embrace.

  “I can’t.” Dante tried to breath deep but he stuttered and gasped.

  “You can’t what? Can you talk?”

  “I can…talk. I just can’t do it.” He shook his head, tears flowing freely. “I can’t take you back.”

  “You can’t take me back?” she asked in confusion.

  “I can’t take you back.” He looked at her with pain in his eyes. “I know that I should, but I can’t.”

  Laurie nodded. She stroked her fingers over his back in small circles. Then she ran her fingers through his hair. She understood how he felt. She wanted to stay with their family, to keep their baby safe. She bit her lip, wrestling with what she should say, what she should do. Laurie rested her head on his shoulder.

  “It’s okay, Dante. I know how you feel.”

  “No. I’m supposed to take you to the trial to protect the people.” He rested his head against the cold metal of the car. “I’m supposed to take care of the woman I love, but I can’t do both. I know what I should do, but I can’t, Laurie. I just can’t.”

  He pushed himself upright. He took his fist and rapped it hard against the top of the window. He turned around, leaning against the car, placing his hands on his hips. He hung his head in shame.

  “I can’t be like my dad and just give up my family to God and country. You’re my family now. How can I take you back when I know what’s ahead?”

  “Dante.” Laurie placed both her hands on his chest. “I know it’s terrifying, but we have to go back.”

  He raised his head. He looked at her with such deep, incredible pain that it made Laurie’s heart ache.

  “I can’t protect you if we go back.” He shook his head. “I don’t know what will happen to you, or our baby.”

  She cupped his face, running her gloved fingers over his cheek. His arms snaked around her in a move that was both protective and possessive. Laurie took a breath to steady herself. She had made her decision. It felt right. Now she just needed to help Dante feel right about it, too.

  “I’ll be all right,” she told him, her voice steady. “There are other Marshals that can protect me. We’ve made it this far. We have to see it through.”

  He shook his head, breaking free of her hands. He looked skyward. Laurie curled her hands into Dante’s jacket, pulling his attention back down to her.

  “Dante.” She looked into his eyes. “I saw how scared they were when I was in that hotel room. They were terrified. I’ve thought about them every day since.”

  Her hands had dropped to her growing belly.

  Dante swallowed hard.

  “We have to go back. I know it hurts; it’s killing me to leave. But we have to—I have to do this.” Laurie pleaded with him with her eyes. She tugged on his jacket.

  Dante nodded. He took a breath, steeling himself.

  “We have to get going.” Laurie let go of him and took a half-step back. “We’ll miss the plane.”

  She made her voice stern. She turned to shed his embrace and walk to the other side of the car, but Dante caught her wrist. She turned back to him. He looked into her eyes.

  “Marry me,” he said. Laurie felt her heart trip over itself.

  “What?”

  “Marry me. Please?” He tugged on her arm.

  “Dante—” Laurie started to say, shaking her head.

  “No, please listen to me.” He sank to one knee. “I love you. I love you, and I want to have a family with you. No
t just this baby, but a big family. I need someone who’s as strong as you are. I need someone who makes me laugh like you do. I need you with me for the rest of my life. Please marry me?”

  Laurie’s heart stopped beating, as she listened to him utter those words. She had never imagined or daydreamed about the perfect marriage proposal, but she was sure she just heard it. Her pulse fluttered. She smiled down on his anxious face.

  “Yes,” she said. “Yes, I’ll marry you.”

  Dante propelled up from the ground. He wrapped his arms around her. He kissed her, standing by the side of the road as onlookers drove by. Then he rested his forehead on hers, and they grinned at each other.

  “Thank you.” He kissed her again.

  “Dante, we have to go.” Laurie gave him a pointed expression.

  “Right! Right. Get in.” He released her.

  Laurie ran to the other side of the car. She slid into the passenger seat with a smile. She buckled her seatbelt while Dante gunned the engine, and they took off down the road toward the airport.

  Dante parked the rental car right by the door. He grabbed their bags from the back. They ran into the small airport, rushing to the counter. The attendant looked hesitant, but Dante reached for his badge. With a flash of the Marshals symbol, the attendant hurried to check them in while flagging down a colleague to escort them through security right to their gate.

  After they boarded the plane, Dante put his arm around Laurie as they began the first of two flights to Honolulu. They sat, holding hands and staring out the window with contented smiles. When the captain turned off the seatbelt sign, Dante rose to rifle through his carry on. He pulled out a worn leather jewelry box and sat down. He opened it, revealing a sparkling diamond ring.

  “My mom gave it to me last night. It was my great-grandmother’s on my mother’s side. They’ve passed it down. My mom wanted me to give it to you when I proposed, which I planned to do after the trial. But I guess I got a little ahead of myself.” He gave her a sheepish grin.

  Laurie hugged him from her seat. She gave him a heartfelt kiss, before extracting the ring from the box. She slipped it on her left hand.