The False Martyr

by H. Nathan Wilcox

  “I don’t care if they do. Seeing you in that dress will be worth it a hundred times. But I really hope it’s not a joke. You can see how it feels to be one of us. How did you put it, ‘needing a man’s guidance to see the Order’? Well I’m happy to help you, my poor, fragile flower.”

  “You’re really enjoying this, aren’t you?” Dasen could barely keep the smile off his face.

  “I am going to enjoy it even more when you put it on.”

  Dasen could not resist. After the past few weeks, he was so happy to see Teth smile that he didn’t care what humiliation was involved. He would dress up as the Queen of Liandria to see her smile, much less laugh. He pulled the heavy dress on and let Teth fasten the tiny clasps that ran up the back. It was a fine dress, meant for a wealthy woman. The fabric was soft, the workmanship excellent, and the fit remarkably close. Where could Mark have possibly found this thing? Dasen was tall for a man, he would be a giant as a woman. Though nowhere near strapping, his shoulders were too broad, his hips too narrow, his hands too hairy, and by the end of the day his stubble would begin to show. It had to be a joke. There was no chance that anyone would see him as anything more than what he was, a man in a dress.

  Teth came around him when the last clasp was done, bringing the dress all the way to his neck where the band rose over his Adam’s apple. “She’s gorgeous. Such a beauty has seldom been seen. We’ll have to find a good husband for that one. She’ll produce such fine tall boys.” Dasen sneered. “Not much in the way of endowment, though.” Teth reached up and held the sagging bodice. “The babes might starve before they get a drop from those.”

  A knock at the door interrupted Teth’s teasing. She jumped. She was still wearing her nightshirt, hair standing in a sleep-matted nest. “A moment,” Dasen called as Teth grabbed the pants and pulled them on. They were expensive gray lamb’s wool slacks that were too big for her emaciated form. She turned to take off the nightshirt, so that Dasen saw only the expanse of her slim back, vertebrae and ribs sticking out like a starving dog. She pulled a white cotton shirt over her head and buttoned it quickly. Another knock sounded at the door.

  “It’s Mark,” the innkeeper called. “Open the door.”

  Dasen looked to Teth. She had only managed half the buttons, but she nodded. On the other side of the door were the innkeeper and a strange woman. She was square and plump, in her middle years, possibly older than her husband though it was difficult to tell beneath the paste and powder she had applied. Her lips were bright red, her eyes outlined in coal, her eyebrows plucked to lines, and cheeks rouged to look like sagging apples. Her dress was fine and wildly patterned to keep with her radical appearance – the wearing of cosmetics was a new, and marginally accepted, trend for the staid Kingdoms. The dress covered her shoulders but plunged at the neckline to show the top of her powdered breasts. Those framed a golden pendant that matched her husbands – a woman’s head with her hair flowing down over half of it to form a river. Her hefty arms were likewise bare. Her fingers were thick but largely hidden by rings that – if for no other reason than their size – had to be sparkling cut glass. And rising above it all was a great tower of brown hair held in place by shimmering clips and surrounded by carefully constructed rings to make it look like an enchanted mountain rising from a tangled forest. In all, she was one of the most unusual looking women Dasen had ever seen, but he now understood what Mark had said about her experience with disguises. Dasen could not even imagine what she would look like without all that careful construction.

  “This is my wife, Margot,” Mark said. “You may call her, Mrs. Tappers. As you should call me Mr. Tappers around the inn. She is here to help with your transformations. As you can see she is quite the expert with cosmetics. She makes her own and has a successful business helping the local ladies with their application.”

  Mrs. Tappers swept into the room like an invading army. She looked at Dasen then Teth then back at her husband. “I guess I should have known from the alternations to the dress, but he’s far too tall.” She walked around Dasen, inspecting him. “Stand up straight,” she scolded and ran a knuckle along his spine. Dasen shot up as the woman rounded to the front and began picking at the bodice, sleeves, and hips of the dress. “Are you sure this is the best plan?” she asked her husband. “His features are fine enough, but I can’t do anything about his height. The shoulders are too broad, the hips too narrow. Bodices are easy, maybe even the hips, but the shoulders . . . .” She shook her head, making the mountain of hair sway before Dasen’s eyes.

  “I have that under control, my dear.” Mr. Tappers approached, put his hands on her shoulders and kissed her cheek. She looked at him with obvious affection. “You worry about his face, my love. I’ll handle the rest.” His glance shifted to Teth. “And her?”

  Mrs. Tappers seemed to see Teth then for the first time. She frowned then smiled. “That’s the girl? I already thought she was a boy. There’ll be some work to do if he’s to be noble born, but I think I’d have a harder time convincing people she’s a girl.” Teth looked at herself without seeming to know whether to take that as a compliment or insult.

  Mr. Tappers moved fully to Teth, inspected her, then ran his fingers through her hair, holding it up. Teth ducked beneath the touch, backed away, and put up a guard as if preparing to fight. “The hair,” Mr. Tappers said. “Can you fix that or do we need an expert?”

  “I’ll think of something,” she said. “The bigger concern, she’s skin and bones and wary as a beaten dog. Even a thin boy in his growth doesn’t get that skinny.” She looked back toward Dasen with distaste then held her hands out to Teth. “You’re safe now, my dear. Whatever’s happened, you’re safe here. And if it’s that boy,” she cast an odious look at Dasen, “we’ll see to him as well.”

  Dasen sputtered – how could they think he had abused Teth? – but Mr. Tappers saved him. He closed on his wife and whispered in her ear. Their eyes stayed on Teth, which only served to transform her shock into a scowl.

  “I see,” Mrs. Tappers mumbled when her husband pulled away. She looked to Dasen with sympathy. “You’re both safe here. These are hard times, but here, you are our family, and we will not let anything happen to you. You’ll soon realize that a good disguise is better than plate armor. It protects you even from insults and accusations. It allows you to be reborn, to become someone new. And it is that person who can absorb all the world’s abuse while you stay safely behind.” She sighed deeply after that, caught up in her own words.

  Mr. Tappers clutched his wife’s shoulders and kissed her again gently on the cheek. He said no words, but the gesture seemed to ground her. She looked up at him. Their eyes drifted together to Dasen and smiles formed on their faces.

  “You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?” she asked.

  “As are you,” Mr. Tappers replied as he stepped to the door. “Now, I have rumors to flame. Expectation is as much a part of the costume as your pastes and potions, and that is my area of expertise.” He smiled again and prepared to leave.

  “I don’t understand.” Dasen caught him before he could depart. “This is never going to work. Mrs. Tappers said it. I’m too tall. I’ll never pass as a woman, and being nobles will only bring more attention. Can’t we stay hidden away here? No one will see us if we never leave.”

  Mr. Tappers closed the door again and stepped toward Dasen. “We were going to have to cover this eventually. I suppose now is as good a time as any.” He took a deep breath. “It may be weeks before Kian can move to overthrow the governor. I can’t leave you locked up in here all that time. Besides, people would know that I have someone hidden up here. Rumors would spread that I couldn’t control, and who do you suppose they would think is worth keeping hidden away in one of the most valuable rooms in the city? We’d have every bounty hunter for a hundred miles here within a week, and that’s if the governor’s men didn’t take you first and throw me in a cell in the process.” Dasen drew a breath to protest, but the innkeeper held up a hand t
o stop him. “You are the son and daughter of Lord Esther. He owns the mining and lumber rights in the Stormwoods.”

  “Who?” Dasen asked. He had never heard the name Esther before, and his father would certainly have a relationship with any noble with lumber rights.

  “Being from the Stormwoods, there are rumors that your family has intermarried with the Morgs,” Mr. Tappers continued without actually answering the question.

  “You are joking,” Mrs. Tappers exclaimed before Dasen could find the words. “There are no such people.”

  “There are now. I’ve been whispering it all morning to anyone who will listen. Young Lady Esther arrived in the night with her brother and bodyguard. The Esthers you see, are extremely devout. They were returning from a pilgrimage in the desert and had no idea that the Kingdoms had been invaded until they arrived here. The rumor spreading below is that she brought with her a great deal of money and can draw on more through the facilitators in the commercial district. That is why I found her a room. She’s going to make me wealthy.”

  “Bodyguard?” Dasen asked. “And only one? Yet I’m carrying around chests of coins?”

  “Garth,” the innkeeper clarified. “A single Morg is worth a half-dozen regular men. It fits with your family’s ties. You will look dainty beside him, and it will reinforce what a girl with Morg blood might look like. Best of all, it lets him get out and be useful. He has the same problem as you. He stands out like a drunk on Teaching Day. This will give him a cover as well.”

  Dasen was abashed. He couldn’t imagine how such an outlandish plan could possibly work. The people here would line up to see the half-Morg noblewoman from the far north. No matter Mrs. Tappers’ abilities, he’d be unmasked in a day. He looked to Teth. She shrugged her apparent approval.

  “It’s genius, isn’t it?” the innkeeper beamed.

  His wife nodded without taking her eyes from Dasen. “I think it will work,” she muttered to herself. “It explains everything. He’s young for it, but the boy could have been on a fast during his pilgrimage. You’re both too tall and broad for who you should be, so the Morg blood works. And having an actual Morg ties it all together.”

  “It’s absurd,” Dasen blurted. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

  “That’s why it’s genius,” Mr. Tappers explained. “It is the story that people will concern themselves with. They’ll be so wrapped up with the scandal of it that they will barely look at the people involved.”

  “And if someone realized that there is no such person as Lord Esther?”

  “Then you’ll have a Morg at your side to dissuade them from doing anything about it. And we have to do something. Trust me. The bigger the lie, the more likely it is to be believed. People look for lies in the truth. They seldom look for the truth in lies.”

  Dasen opened his mouth to protest again. Mr. Tappers stopped him. “See what Margot can do. Think about the story. Spend the day getting used to the costumes and characters. Then we’ll discuss it more. Now, I have work to do. Good day, Lady Esther. I hope you have a wonderful stay.” Mr. Tappers found the latch to the door and showed himself out.

  “Sit down, my dear,” Mrs. Tappers finally pulled Dasen from his shock. “I will do you first so that you can start getting used to the feel of the cosmetics.” She looked to Teth, eyes clouding with sadness. “Then we’ll see what we can do about your hair, my dear.” With some effort, Dasen popped his jaw back in place and complied. “Now, hold still. This is going to take some time, and you will not like it if this gets in your eyes.”

  She opened a case that sat on the table before her and selected a lidded pot with a parchment colored paste inside. “After today, you will shave in the morning as close as you can. I’d use the counselors’ potion, but it would leave your skin red for a week and you hairless for months. From what I can tell, your hair does not grow too fast or too dark, so you should be able to make it through the entire day with just this. We’ll find out soon enough.”

  “May I watch?” Teth asked from behind

  Mrs. Tappers smiled up at her. “You may, my dear. You most certainly may.” Then she went on talking through each step as if Dasen could hear her through his shock and bewilderment at what was happening.

  Chapter 39

  The 33rd Day of Summer

  “Master Esther, how lovely to see you out and about. I must say, we are so pleased that you and your sister have chosen to stay with us. Is there anything that I can get you?” Mrs. Tappers closed on Teth before she had gone more than a foot into the inn’s common room. She bowed slightly with her hands folded before her. At the bar, her husband looked up from the conversation he was having with a cluster of finely dressed men. Along with his gaze came that of every other person in the crowded room.

  The weight of those stares took the very breath from Teth. It was early afternoon, late enough for the lunch crowd to have departed but not late enough for the evening crowd to have arrived. She had expected to find the common room empty, but there was not a single open chair and several men stood in clumps at the bar and in the corners. She looked out over the, now silent, room and felt her every pore open.

  “Were you looking for more lunch?” Mrs. Tappers supplied. “Surely, you are still hungry after the fast you’ve maintained during your pilgrimage. I must say, that I was surprised that someone so young would undertake such a journey and to include the fast. . . . Your devotion to our savior must be great indeed. Please, allow me to bring something to your room. I am sure that your sister is hungry as well. Or would you prefer that I have your man bring it?”

  Teth could only stammer. Certainly she was used to dressing as a boy, but she had seldom expected people to believe it, and with all these eyes on her, she suddenly felt naked as the day she was born. “I . . . I just wanted to get out and . . . and ah . . . look around, I guess,” she said finally, watching the silent crowd so intently that she barely knew what she was saying.

  “In that case, I shall give you a tour,” Mrs. Tappers beamed. “As you can see, this is our common room. It is the most popular in the city, but with things as they are, it’s become very busy indeed over the past weeks. My husband has always maintained a great store of provisions, so even with the rationing and shortages, we’ve been able to set a proper table. Our chef is the best in the city. And though his ingredients are now limited, I am sure he will be able to satisfy your northern palates.” She steered Teth deftly away from the broad doorway that separated the common room from the hall. “I know that the crowd can be intimidating, so we are happy to bring something to your room at any time. I am sorry that we are not equipped with bells as you are surely used to, but you can send your man or we can arrange a time each day. We also have a private dining room that you are welcome to use, but as we are so full, I humbly request that you provide us with some notice so that we can ensure it is ready.”

  By this time, they were out of the view of the common room. Teth heard it erupt into conversation behind her. At the same time, her lung released and she drew a desperately needed breath of air. “Well, that was exciting, wasn’t it?” Mrs. Tappers said softly from beside her. “I thought you and Dasen were going to stay in your room today. If we’d known you’d be down here, we’d have been better prepared.”

  “I’m . . . I’m sorry,” Teth sputtered. “I didn’t think there’d be anyone there. I just had to get . . . I just needed to get out of that room.” She cursed herself for saying too much and prayed that Mrs. Tappers would not catch it.

  “Do you want to talk about it, dear?” Mrs. Tappers confirmed that the Order was not answering Teth’s prayers. She had looped her thick arm through Teth’s and led her slowly down a back hall. “What happened between you two? Mark told me that you were at Thoren, that you . . . .” She stopped their walk and turned to look into Teth’s eyes. “That you did some terrible things.”

  Teth started to cry. She was not even sure why, but suddenly, she was crying. She buried her face in her hands and fou
ght to keep from wailing. “Oh dear,” Mrs. Tappers gasped. She hustled them through a door into a small sitting room and guided Teth into a padded chair. She pushed a cloth into her hand and rubbed her back. “It’s alright,” she said. “It’s all over now. The Order forgives.”

  Eventually, Teth composed herself, pushed the images of the battle away, forced herself to forget the words of the Weaver, and reminded herself that it would all be over soon. She took a deep breath, wiped her eyes and nose, and looked up at the lady standing over her. There was something deep in her eyes, a sadness that could only be seen as a reflection of what was before her. Teth saw it for an instant, then it was gone, replaced by the doting lady of the house.

  “I’m . . . I’m sorry,” Teth stuttered. “I don’t know what came over me. I was . . . really I was feeling fine a few minutes ago. It is not . . . I don’t usually . . . I mean I used to not be like this, and I don’t know what has changed.”

  “You are human,” Mrs. Tappers said plainly. She sat in another armchair to Teth’s side. “I think you’ve spent a lot of your life trying to be something else, but that is what you are. You are allowed to be sad. You are allowed to cry, to feel guilt for what you have done. That is part of being human.” She took Teth’s hands and held them before her. Her hands were thick and strong, surprisingly rough. “But you have to move on as well. The past is the past. It cannot be undone. You should not hide from it, but neither should you let it tear you down.” She paused and took a deep breath. “I do not know what you have been through, probably cannot even imagine, but I saw how Dasen looked at you this morning. He loves you. He hangs on your every movement. He is walking a tight rope blindfolded trying to please you.” Again she stopped this time until Teth’s eyes rose to meet hers. “You’re allowed to let him succeed.”