The Obama Diaries

by Laura Ingraham

  Fast-forward to November 2009, when the White House hosted its first state dinner for India’s prime minister. It was a spectacular affair, produced within an inch of its life. It was to be so special, so groundbreaking, that even the White House executive chef Cristeta Comerford had to step aside. She was deemed unfit to prepare food for the head of state of this key American ally. So Chef Marcus Samuelsson of the restaurant Aquavit in New York was brought in to create a mostly vegetarian menu, showcasing some of the treasures of Michelle Obama’s vegetable garden. Samuelsson had the distinction of being the first guest chef in history to cook for a White House state dinner. No expense was spared outside the kitchen, either. Desiree Rogers erected a bulletproof tent capable of seating four hundred guests, outfitted with dangling chandeliers and magnolia branches lining the walls. Jennifer Hudson and A. R. Rahman, of Slumdog Millionaire fame, provided entertainment for a guest list that included Steven Spielberg, David Geffen, Katie Couric, and Sanjay Gupta. The Obamas had truly opened the White House to the people . . . even those without invitations.

  The immediate criticism of the lavish White House partying raised concerns about taste and sensitivity. Sure, Desiree had whipped up a hip Bollywood party, but was it appropriate during an economic downturn? Desiree Rogers told Capitol File, “Laissez les bon temps rouler [let the good times roll]. It’s been part of my life all along, that it’s extremely important that our lives are celebratory, that we do have joy in our lives. And I think it’s particularly important as all of us go through difficult times.” So feel better, out-of-work Americans! The people in the “People’s House” are having a grand time for you.

  MENTORING WITH THE STARS

  The Obamas owe much of their success to the celebrities who are forever rubbing elbows with them. Whether on the campaign trail or in the White House, wherever the Obamas are, some celebrity is certain to be within reach. The image of these stars fraternizing with the president and his staff telegraph dual messages: 1) The Obamas are cool like us. 2) You love us and we love them—so you should love them, too.

  Walking through the White House on certain days can be like walking through Madame Tussauds. You’ll find more celebrities in the West Wing than at a Vanity Fair Oscar party.

  Most of the time, Barack and Michelle Obama operate as First Fans, booking favorite actors and musicians to “play the East Room.” One of the first acts to perform for the Obamas was Stevie Wonder. In February 2009, he was presented with a Gershwin Prize by the president. The Obamas sounded like groupies throughout the event, and in what would become their pattern, managed to use Stevie Wonder’s music to draw attention to themselves.

  Michelle regaled the crowd with the story of being introduced to Wonder’s music by her grandfather. Later she said that she had “discovered what Stevie meant when he sang about love. Barack and I chose the song ‘You and I’ as our wedding song.” The president paid the singer even greater tribute when he said Wonder’s songs were “the soundtrack of my youth . . . I think it’s fair to say that had I not been a Stevie Wonder fan, Michelle might not have dated me. We might not have married. The fact that we agreed on Stevie was part of the essence of our courtship.”

  Except for Stevie Wonder, none of this historic magnificence would have been possible.

  Wonder was the first in a long line of celebrities encouraged to perform for invited guests and offer workshops to the young at the White House. This allowed the stars to feel as if they were giving back to the community, while Michelle and Barack squeezed intimate concerts out of them for free. Even ex-Beatle Paul McCartney couldn’t escape the long arm of the Obamas’ Razzle Dazzle. On June 2, 2010, McCartney performed in the East Room and all he got for it was a Gershwin Prize. This was all fitting since McCartney penned the Obama immigration theme song, “Let ’Em In.”

  The “Poetry Slam” was an odd evening by any standard. James Earl Jones recited a selection from Othello, and then Lin-Manuel Miranda, the rapper and composer of the Broadway show In the Heights, performed an original rap on the life of Alexander Hamilton. He intoned: “How does a bastard orphan son of a whore and a Scotsman dropped in the middle of a forgotten spot in the Caribbean rise to prominence?” The president must have loved hearing that reflection.

  Jazz was celebrated at the White House in June 2009. Once again, Michelle introduced the performers by referencing a personal story. She spoke of her father, who played jazz loudly around their house, and added, “So it means so much to me to bring this music here to the White House.”

  Listening to Michelle, you’d never know that Dizzy Gillespie, Pearl Bailey, Eubie Blake, Charles Mingus, Joe Williams, Frank Sinatra, and Wynton Marsalis (whom the Obamas brought in for their jazz night) had all performed at the White House at the invitation of former presidents. Perhaps their fathers did not play the jazz as loudly as Michelle’s.

  There would be celebrations of country music, Latino music (which required the erection of a tent on the South Lawn), classical music, and music from the civil rights era, complete with Joan Baez and Bob Dylan. Even Easter became an occasion to book big-name talent. Fergie sang at their first Easter Egg Roll and the cast of Fox’s hit show Glee performed in 2010. Few acts escaped the Obama parlor, and if the celebs weren’t performing, they were drafted into Michelle’s mentoring program.

  Starting in March 2009, Michelle Obama hosted the first in a series of mentoring events: a chance for girls to mix and mingle with successful women in government and the private sector. Alicia Keys, Sheryl Crow, and Olympic medalist Dominique Dawes attended the first dinner. Hang around enough high-powered celebrities and you start to look like one—at least that’s what the White House press machine was hoping. After she hosted exactly one mentoring dinner, Glamour magazine awarded the First Lady “special recognition . . . for her commitment to mentoring young women,” according to Lynn Sweet at the Chicago Sun-Times. Michelle also appeared on the magazine’s cover.

  In the ensuing months, Michelle Obama would show up at schools and special mentoring dinners with Fran Drescher, Susan Sarandon, Alfie Woodard, and others. The generosity and concern of the Razzle Dazzle never ends.

  THE DIARY OF FIRST LADY MICHELLE OBAMA

  THE WHITE HOUSE

  March 19, 2009

  Another nonstop day. My feet are killing me! I was up late shooting the breeze with Sheryl Crow and Alicia Keys, who came into town to help me with a White House dinner for 110 young women students from D.C. schools. I like Alicia but could’ve done without Sheryl Crow—as if the fourteen-year-olds in Northeast are sitting around rocking out to “If It Makes You Happy” on their iPods! Please. Still, Desiree reminded me that Sheryl showed up to sing in Denver and at the Lincoln Memorial concert during the Inauguration. (will.i.am should’ve dropped her from that duet of “One Love”!) Desiree also pointed out that since Stevie Wonder and Sweet Honey in the Rock had already performed here, we needed Sheryl for “diversity purposes.” I guess it’s fine and the staff says it’s good for my image. But how do they expect me to dance to “All I Wanna Do”? At what point can we stop trying to “soften my image” and just let me start being myself again?!

  This White House is so star-crazed, it cast an actor as the associate director in the Office of Public Liaison. Kal Penn, the actor best known as Kumar in the Harold & Kumar movies and for his role on the hit Fox show House, took a break from acting to play the part of a West Wing apparatchik for the Obamas. According to the Los Angeles Times, Penn’s job is to provide “outreach to young people, the artistic community, and the Asian-American community.” As if the Obamas need help reaching out to the “artistic community.” Half of the community is being commanded to perform for them!

  George Clooney, the Academy Award–winning liberal, met with the president and vice president in February 2009. Given the extensive coverage, it was as if the Chinese president had come to forgive the U.S. debt. Clooney’s mission was to ensure that Darfur was a priority for the administration. During the meeting, Obam
a promised to appoint an envoy to Darfur, who would report directly to the White House. Good night and good luck.

  Clooney’s Ocean’s Eleven costar, Brad Pitt, blew into Washington a month later and tried to turn his “Make it Right NOLA” foundation into a model for the nation. The foundation builds cheap, green housing in Katrina-ravaged sections of New Orleans. Pitt met with Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Majority Leader Harry Reid before being invited to the White House for a sit-down with the Big Man and the Big Mouth.

  THE DIARY OF VICE PRESIDENT JOE BIDEN

  U.S. NAVAL OBSERVATORY

  February 22, 2010

  Shakira . . . Shakira . . . it’s true, her hips don’t lie! Today that Colombian songbird stopped by the Oval to say hello to Barack and me. She was on the Hill pushing education in the developing world. (And boy is she developed!)

  Poor thing had to spend the morning in the company of Nita Lowey (I guess we all have to do penance from time to time). This gal was a knockout. If I were four or five years younger . . . I frankly couldn’t take my eyes off her but Barack was all business. He was talking Shakira’s ear off about promoting his immigration reform bill later this year.

  Honestly, if they all looked like this hot tamale, I’d tear down the border fence myself.

  For too many Hollywood stars, this kind of social activism is a fun sideline—a chance to gain access to the most powerful man in the world and come away feeling like the most important person in town. Others are simply looking for a few snapshots they can later post on Facebook.

  Rap mogul and Obama booster Jay-Z and his megastar wife Beyoncé dropped by the White House in March 2010. Like other high-flying celebs, when they land in D.C., they expect to see the man in charge. Truth is, Jay-Z had some time on his hands before a concert and decided to make the most of it. The Jay-Z posse got an all-access pass to the West Wing, including access to the Situation Room.

  Looking at the posted photographs, Jay-Z and Beyoncé could be auditioning to be the Obamas’ understudies. Perhaps during the next foreign trip, they could house-sit for Barack and Michelle—or perhaps play them in a BET made-for-television movie. One thing is certain: the White House is always open to Jay-Z and his wife. Any star can worship Obama, but how many have commemorated him in song the way Jay-Z has? Remember his famous remix of “My President Is Black”? Who can forget the poetic line “No more war, no more Iraq, no more white lies, the president is Black.”

  For celebrities, the Obamas represent a possible dream. No matter their background, no matter their experience, Obama showed them that anyone with a little star power, some style, and a few designer duds could run the country. In turn, the president needs the stars to give him street cred, connect him to the pop culture, and provide White House Razzle Dazzle on demand.

  President Obama showed his affection for Hollywood at a revealing, splashy fund-raiser on May 27, 2009. According to the Los Angeles Times, Steven Spielberg, Jeffrey Katzenberg, Seth Rogen, Kiefer Sutherland, Ron Howard, Jamie Foxx, Antonio Banderas, Melanie Grififth, and more than two hundred other glitterati crowded into the Beverly Hilton to pay homage to the One. Katzenberg introduced the president in worshipful tones usually reserved for religious leaders: “If you look in the dictionary under ‘grace under fire, ’ it will say Barack Obama.”

  When Obama reached the podium, he gushed to Katzenberg, “If it weren’t for you, we would not be in the White House.”

  THE GARDEN OF PLENTY . . . STORIES

  On March 20, 2009, Michelle Obama, in designer boots and black stretch pants, surrounded by legions of public school children, broke ground on what would become the mother of all Razzle Dazzles—that 1, 100 square-foot horticultural hamlet of hype: the White House vegetable garden. This could well be the most discussed garden since Eden—and one thing is for sure: it is anything but secret.

  “The whole point of this garden for us is that I want to make sure that our family, as well as the staff, and all the people who come to the White House and eat our food, get access to really fresh vegetables and fruits,” Michelle Obama told the Wall Street Journal the day she broke ground for her crop.

  Consistent with her vision that she must model behavior for all of America, Michelle Obama insisted that children should eat more organic foods, and that families should strive to make them more available. When asked by the media to explain her foray into gardening, she conveniently turned to her daughters Malia and Sasha for cover. She told the New York Times on March 19, 2009, that the idea for the garden “came from her experiences as a working mother trying to feed her daughters, Malia and Sasha, a good diet.

  “I wanted to be able to bring what I learned to a broader base of people,” Michelle explained. “And what better way to do it than to plant a vegetable garden in the South Lawn of the White House?”

  When I first heard Michelle talk about the garden, it was clear to me where she was headed. The fertile patch on the South Lawn was intended to grow into the First Lady’s personal public policy platform—a feel-good, picture-ready project that would help position herself as a policy advocate. Michelle’s policy advisor, Jocelyn Frye, told reporters following the groundbreaking that the garden fit into the First Lady’s overall health message. Frye added: “She and the president thought hard about it.” I bet they did.

  THE DIARY OF FIRST LADY MICHELLE OBAMA

  THE WHITE HOUSE

  January 23, 2009

  Desiree, Jocelyn, and I spoke with my old boss at the University of Chicago Medical Center, Susan Sher. Susan always has the best ideas. She thinks I need to do something bold that gets me into the policy game, early on. No literacy campaigns for me. I’ll be damned if all this fabulosity is going to go to waste reading Dr. Seuss to snot-nosed kids all day. I know I’m supposed to be the Mom-in-Chief, but I gave at the office . . . I’ve got important work to do for America.

  As we were talking, I gazed out of Desiree’s window and it hit me: a garden. I’ll launch my own vegetable garden! I’ll leave my stamp on the White House and generate some good publicity at the same time. Desiree and Katie (my press secretary) think if we can scare up some poor kids to pick at the dirt, we could land the cover of the New York Times. I’ll be kind of a fashionable, toned, and tall Mother Teresa with a rake.

  Susan had the best idea of the day. She said we should use the garden to establish me as a children’s health advocate. It’s a great touchy-feely issue for me to hit before moving on to my formal health-care role once the reform bill passes. That Susan is a winner! Maybe I should bring her on as my Chief of Staff. Hmmm . . .

  The only problem is planting the damn thing. I don’t know squat about gardening and I don’t care to learn. I sprung the plan on Barack tonight. He was a little reluctant at first, but I wore him down until he saw things my way. I told him that since the White House is a national landmark, the Park Service should plant my garden for me. Smokey agreed. I mean the American people should have a garden that they can be proud of. It’s going to be great. Desiree’s already selecting my outfits for the first garden photo shoot. I told her I’m game for anything except gardening clogs and sunhats.

  Michelle Obama never gardened in her life, nor did she have a garden in Chicago. But in Obamaland, experience need never be an obstacle to political advancement (just ask the president). Michelle found others to do the heavy lifting while she took all the credit.

  We’ve all seen the pictures on the nightly news and in the magazines: the Bancroft Elementary School children digging in the garden with the First Lady. They moved some dirt around, dropped a few seeds here and there, and jubilated as Michelle led the merry band. The raw feed of the event was something to see:

  MICHELLE Let’s hear it for the fruits!

  CHILDREN Yay. (unenthusiastic)

  MICHELLE Let’s hear it for the vegetables!

  CHILDREN Yay. (still unenthusiastic) Boo! (sheepish)

  [The First Lady scans the faces of the children all around her, looking for the Tea Party offspring in her
midst.]

  MICHELLE Who said “boo”? I’m going to take away your shovel cookie.

  That’s right, the woman who continues to lecture the entire country about healthy eating habits (while filling her pie hole with ribs, burgers, and fries) served designer cookies to the children who helped plant the garden of health and fitness! Anytime you gaze intently upon the Obamas’ Razzle Dazzle, the hypocrisy moves to the fore—so do the lies.

  With Michelle’s green advocacy, the garden has been sold as “organic” and portrayed that way in the media. Multiple reports describe it as such. But the First Lady’s office quietly admitted to Reuters’s David Alexander on June 2, 2009, that it “has never made [the organic] claim. It takes three years to certify an organic garden, with different standards applying,” they conceded.

  Based on the press coverage, one would assume that Michelle, the First Family, and twenty-five public school children planted the garden and would maintain it themselves. The First Lady herself even told the press that her family would be weeding the garden “whether they like it or not.”

  But anyone watching the White House’s own online video, “Inside the White House: The Garden,” can see that it was actually National Park Service employees who, using heavy equipment, tilled the soil, seeded the South Lawn plot, and “assisted” the Bancroft kids in planting the garden. What the video makes plain is that the children did not plant seeds, but fully grown blooms in most cases. To my eye, the garden was not planted, so much as replanted.

  THE DIARY OF FIRST GRANDMOTHER MARIAN ROBINSON

  THE WHITE HOUSE

  October 29, 2009

  Up again at 4:43 a.m.! With all this noise, how is a person supposed to sleep? It’s that big dump truck the Park Service brings in every other day. When they back that mother up, it beeps—loudly! This morning I had enough. I threw my robe on and went outside. The Secret Service stopped me at the back door. “You should stay in the house, Mrs. Robinson,” the agent said.