Necessary Heartbreak

by Michael J. Sullivan

  “Clean? I thought we were going to the Temple?”

  “We are.”

  Leah stopped in front of what appeared to be a series of small, square-shaped in-ground pools. They looked ancient to Elizabeth. No lining held the water, just stone walls. Without warning, Leah pulled off her clothes, then her shoes. Elizabeth quickly looked away as Leah walked down the four steps into the water and began splashing her body and face. “Come quickly.” She gestured, pointing to the stairs.

  “What? Are you serious? No way!”

  “Come in. Don’t stand there. Don’t you do this where you live?”

  “Um . . . no.”

  “Hurry! You’ll stand out and draw attention to yourself. You’ll upset the high priest.”

  Elizabeth hesitated, looking around to see if anyone was watching. It was quiet now. Dusk was settling in and the hustle and bustle of the day was gone. Still, she felt shy.

  “Are you bleeding?” Leah asked.

  “Bleeding? What do you mean?”

  Leah gestured toward the lower portion of her body. “Down here.”

  “My period? No, no . . . that’s not the problem.”

  “Good. Because if you are, then you mustn’t come in.”

  Elizabeth reminded herself that they needed to find her father. If this was going to help, then she would do it. She looked around quickly, then hurriedly removed her shirt, keeping her bra on. Then she kicked off her sandals but left on her long shorts. Leah looked at her oddly.

  On the far end, two men were bathing. Elizabeth made a face and quickly scurried down the steps into the water with her back to Leah.

  “Clean quickly.”

  “No problem there,” Elizabeth muttered as she bent down to let the water rise above her shoulders. By the time she stood up, Leah had climbed out and was putting her clothes on. Elizabeth sprinted up the steps and did the same. “Now what?”

  “Over there.” Leah pointed to a large building about a football field away. Even at this distance, Elizabeth could see how splendid it was. Rows of towering, white marble columns lined the front, capped with tinges of gold that glowed in the early-evening sky. Sharp gold spikes rose on the roof, reflecting a soft light across the several acres of the plaza. She felt mesmerized by a feeling of holiness about the place, her body tingling with excitement. She pointed toward the bronze doors. “Is that where we go?”

  “No. We must go through on the other side.”

  They walked around the wide structure and entered through another gate made of steel. Elizabeth noticed that it wasn’t as ornate as the main entrance.

  “Stay with me,” Leah ordered. She led the way down several steps and into a tunnel. Carefully placed candles on either side shed light on the ceiling, which was covered with crude drawings of people and animals.

  “Stay quiet,” Leah whispered.

  The tunnel opened into a large area, surrounded by several rooms. “Over here,” Leah said in a hushed voice. “We must always stay in this part of the Temple. Always remain with me.”

  Leah closed her eyes and knelt. Elizabeth briefly looked around in confusion. It was a simple room, large enough where several people could kneel and pray. It wasn’t as elaborate as the outside of the building. She could hear Leah whispering something but was unable to decipher any words. As Elizabeth looked around, she realized a few other women were praying, too. But no men.

  Leah’s whispers became louder. Elizabeth began to understand some words, including a plea for help. Elizabeth felt a stab of disappointment. No one here could help them.

  But as she looked around, the meaning of Leah’s words dawned on her. Slowly Elizabeth sank to her knees and bowed her head. Lord, can you please help my father? Please. It was my fault, Lord. Punish me. Please. Don’t let anyone hurt him. Please. Punish me.

  The quiet inside the Temple moved her. A tear slipped out of her eye and coursed down her cheek as she continued to silently say, Punish me. Punish me. Not my dad. Please. She let the tear stay there in hopes God would see it. Lord, please. Please. Please. Help him. Please help me to find my dad.

  She clasped her hands together and bowed her head, and the veil slipped over her face.

  Wow. Look at all these people. Well-dressed adults and children filled the pews on both sides as Elizabeth tugged at her veil, making sure it didn’t obscure her eyes. Daddy told me to keep it out of my eyes. I want him to be proud of me.

  Organ music suddenly boomed out around them, jolting everyone in line to straighten up and pay attention. A woman, dressed in a soft brown suit with a beautiful blue corsage on her wrist, gestured to the boys and girls to follow her. After one last pull on her veil, this time making sure it wouldn’t fall off, Elizabeth clasped her hands together. She glanced at the boy to her left, looking for guidance on when to begin walking.

  When he started, she did, too. Smiling, and imagining that this was how Mommy felt when she married Daddy, Elizabeth floated the first few steps. She glanced first to her left, then to her right, spotting Mrs. Horn. Elizabeth beamed and her neighbor waved. Elizabeth gave a quick half-hello in her direction.

  She fell a few steps behind her partner as the line continued to stroll two by two up the aisle toward the altar. I wonder if this is how the animals felt going onto the ark. Elizabeth giggled to herself.

  She skipped a few steps, prompting a few smiles from the adults nearby, then Elizabeth brushed back her hair, fixing her veil once more. I hope Daddy thinks I look pretty. The children started filling the front pews where the families were waiting. As Elizabeth approached her family’s pew, she caught a quick smile from her father. She glowed with pride, keeping her hands folded tightly, head up and eyes wide-open as she joined him.

  Just like Daddy told me to do it.

  “You look beautiful, Elizabeth,” Michael whispered into her ear.

  Aunt Connie leaned across Michael and gave Elizabeth a big thumbs-up while Aunt Sammie gently reached over to touch her shoulder. “You look like a bride!” she whispered, her face fixed in a huge grin.

  “Thank you,” Elizabeth said shyly.

  Ruth and Ed, her great-aunt and great-uncle, beamed at her, and Elizabeth remembered how grown-up they had said she looked when they had met earlier in the church’s parking lot. Farther down the pew she could see her cousins and Uncle Bill, Aunt Connie’s husband. Elizabeth leaned over the front of the pew to see them.

  Michael gently pushed her back as the priest greeted the parishioners with his opening prayer. After she made the sign of the cross and strained to pay attention to the opening prayer, the first reading began and Elizabeth could finally sit. She instinctively grabbed her father’s hand as she leaned back onto the hard wooden pew. Michael smiled briefly at her, then looked up and wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his new jacket.

  Is he crying?

  She tried to turn her attention back to the front of the church, but her veil was caught on the back of the pew. She leaned forward to free it, delighted that everyone around her seemed to like what she was wearing. She reached down to touch the box that contained the blue rosary beads that her aunt Sammie had left for her. They had been Elizabeth’s grandmother’s and she felt so special, even though she had never known her.

  It surprised her when the priest came to the edge of the altar—usually it seemed as if church took forever—and she knew that she was about to receive Communion for the first time.

  As the children in the front pews went up to the altar with their parents, her thoughts wandered to Aunt Connie and her father. When Aunt Connie came to the house that morning, they had argued loudly.

  “I don’t need you to tell me what to do,” Michael had said angrily.

  “But Elizabeth should have someone with her when she goes up. All the other kids will have two parents up there. Be fair to her.”

  “In case you forgot, Connie, Elizabeth doesn’t have two parents. If Vicki was around, she would. But it’s just me here, okay? Or have you forgotten already?”

>   “How dare you talk to me like that! I know what you went through!”

  “What do you know about what I went through?”

  “Please, Michael, please. Let me stand up there with her.”

  Then Aunt Connie’s eyes had narrowed in a funny way and her voice stayed firm but softened, although Elizabeth could still hear her. “Or should we just get your neighbor Susan to stand there? Are you sleeping with her? I wonder what Vicki would think of that.”

  “You’re way out of line. Like today isn’t hard enough—leave it to you.”

  “All I’m saying is that everyone else will have two people up there. Vicki would have wanted it this way.”

  “How do you know what Vicki would want? Nobody can replace Vicki. Drop it!”

  The woman with the pretty blue corsage snapped her fingers from the side of the altar, jolting Elizabeth out of her trance. The woman looked over at both her and Michael. Aunt Connie stared straight ahead, giving no indication of her mood. Michael put his hand on Elizabeth’s arm, urging her to walk to the aisle.

  After checking her veil one last time, she clenched her hands firmly together and stood up. As she started up the aisle, her father’s hand on her shoulder, she began to silently whisper a prayer.

  Dear God, I don’t care about getting any money today. I really don’t. Well, maybe a little, God. But, I want Daddy to be happy. He’s been so sad lately. I thought this would make him happy. I tried to look pretty for him, God. But he still seems angry. He’s angry at Aunt Connie, too. I don’t like it when they fight. I get nervous. Can you make it better? Can you tell them to stop fighting? Please, God. Please. I really don’t want any gifts. I just want him to be happy.

  As she reached the priest, one last thought went through her mind.

  God, you’re not mad that it’s just Daddy and me up here, right?

  The dice game had broken up a while ago and Michael was alone again in his cell. He dozed briefly but the noise nearby kept him from any extended rest. He could hear Barabbas sleeping in the adjacent cell, his snores echoing through the corridor. How can he sleep in such a place? Michael thought, shaking his head.

  An eerie quiet filled the prison. Occasionally someone would cry out for water, only to be met with more silence. Michael wondered if all the soldiers had left.

  Chains clinked back and forth, reminding Michael of beads falling off a strand. He couldn’t tell what time it was as the last few flickers of candlelight cast their snakelike shadows on the concrete walls.

  He agonized over a plan to return to Northport, mapping out the details in his mind: first, find the woman who took Elizabeth. Second, take Elizabeth back to the tunnel. Then find Father Dennis and have him call the police. Finally, call his brother-in-law Brian at the FBI.

  He mulled over that last point and then thought better of it. He had had enough problems there. It was probably best not to get him involved.

  Michael tried to settle his nerves by closing his eyes. But sleep was impossible. He continued to mentally go over his escape plans. How could he find that woman? he wondered. Perhaps she was looking for him. If all else failed, he knew that Elizabeth would try to find him. Then again, perhaps Marcus could help.

  His body straightened and he could feel his blood rushing to his head. Yes, he felt sure that Marcus could help.

  Footsteps echoing in the distance woke him just as he was starting to doze. He stood up. “Marcus? Is that you?”

  A Roman soldier, helmet on and spear in hand, appeared and pulled open the door. Michael looked at him in confusion. “Where’s Marcus?”

  The soldier gazed at him for a few seconds. “He went home. He wishes you the best on your journey. He said to make sure you take the same path home that you came from. It’s the safest way back. Do you understand?”

  Michael nodded. He wondered if this soldier was trustworthy. Perhaps he would be able to help him find Elizabeth.

  The opening of the cell door awoke Barabbas. “Where are you going, my friend?” he slurred, still heavy with sleep.

  “I’m going home.”

  “What? Be care—”

  “Shut up,” shouted the soldier as he whipped his spear against the rods of Barabbas’ cell. “Move,” he demanded, pushing Michael from behind.

  “Be cautious, my friend,” said Barabbas, his voice growing faint in the distance. “Watch your back. They just don’t let anyone . . .” Barabbas’ words were no longer audible.

  5

  WATER TO WINE

  The remaining inches of wick were still burning in the dark hallway, and Michael peered into the cells they passed. He could only see shadows huddled against the walls, some sleeping, a few weeping softly. They turned the corner and approached a long stairway. Brightly lit torches were strategically placed along the route, giving them plenty of light. The soldier nestled his arm under Michael’s, making sure he wouldn’t fall. Surprisingly nice of him, he thought.

  Five soldiers lounged near the entrance, drinking heavily. The air was thick with the scent of wine. “What are you doing, Titus?” one soldier asked as he wiped his chin with the back of his hand.

  “Sending our friend here back home,” Titus replied.

  “Is he a friend of the governor?”

  “No. A friend of Marcus.”

  The soldiers laughed. “I didn’t know Marcus had any.”

  “Shut up,” said Titus, slamming the cup out of a soldier’s hand with his spear.

  Titus pushed Michael through the entrance. Night had fallen but he could still see the city in the distance.

  “Remember to go back the same way you came.”

  “I will, but I have to find my daughter first.”

  “Do so. But do it quickly. When you do find your daughter, take the same path home.”

  “Can you help me find her?”

  Titus turned his back and went inside the prison. The other soldiers glared at him.

  “Tell Marcus thank you!” Michael yelled.

  He turned and made a run straight to the wall opening.

  Leah and Elizabeth finished their prayers and began to walk silently back to the city. Each was lost in her own thoughts as Elizabeth wrestled with guilt and remorse. Leah would occasionally whisper, “Oh, Yochanan, what would you do?”

  With the city wall nearby now, Elizabeth felt this was the proper time to speak. “Leah, I can’t go any further. If I have to wait until morning, I will. But I have to take my chances soon at that place and ask if they can free my father. Are you sure there isn’t anyone who can help us?”

  Leah and Elizabeth walked a few more yards until they were inside the city. Leah looked around and saw that a couple of marketplaces were open. But the crowd that filled the streets only a couple of hours ago had dispersed. Only a few groups of people were chatting, laughing, and sharing stories of the day.

  “I don’t see anybody I know,” she said. “I’m sorry.”

  Elizabeth sighed. “Then I’ll have to go back.”

  “You mustn’t.”

  “I don’t have a choice.”

  “Then wait until morning,” said Leah, gently rubbing Elizabeth’s arm.

  “Why morning?”

  “The soldiers drink a lot after sundown. They can be even more vicious. It’s not a safe place for women, but especially now.”

  “Then I’m going back to the tunnel and wait there. If he does get out, he’ll surely go there first,” reasoned Elizabeth.

  “I will stay with you.”

  Elizabeth smiled slightly. “Let’s go then.”

  They walked slowly. Elizabeth glanced up at the clear sky. No pollution here, she thought, admiring the clarity of the stars. The moon’s light bathed the landscape in a soft glow. So pretty.

  Suddenly they heard footsteps. Leah pulled Elizabeth around one of the market stalls and whispered, “Quiet.”

  The slapping of sandals and heavy gasping grew louder. A man, clearly out of breath, hurtled past them. “Dad!” Elizabeth yelled.
/>   Michael stopped and bent over, trying to catch his breath. “Elizabeth. My God. You’re okay. Oh, thank you, God.”

  They hugged as Leah looked on in confusion. “How did you escape?”

  Michael could barely get the words out. “I didn’t. One soldier helped me get my release. He was very kind to me. He told me to just go back the way we came. So, we can go home, Elizabeth!”

  Leah stared at Michael, then suddenly hugged him, making him uncomfortable. “I’m so happy.” But she then released her grasp. “There’s something wrong.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “They just don’t let people leave there. What else did the soldier say?”

  “He only said to go back the same way as I came. Why?”

  Leah shook her head. “This is strange. Very strange. We should stop and talk about what happened to you,” she insisted.

  “I’m not stopping!” Michael said forcefully.

  “Do you want to suffer the same way as Yochanan?”

  “Who’s Yochanan?”

  Leah looked upset. “You are confusing me.”

  “We have to get home,” Michael said impatiently. He grabbed Elizabeth’s hand and began to jog. “Let’s run, Elizabeth.”

  Leah caught up to them. “You’re going to get caught,” she warned.

  Michael didn’t pay attention. Suddenly an old man appeared in front of them. He stumbled and fell to the ground. No time for this, Michael thought, sidestepping him and sprinting to the other side of the street. He could see the grates now. All six looked identical. “Which one is it?” he said frantically, kicking at each one. “Open!”

  Suddenly Leah grabbed his arm and pointed down the street. “Look over there. Soldiers!” she said with distress.

  Up ahead a group of soldiers had gathered. Michael glared; his body froze and his mind went blank. What do I do now? Oh, God, my daughter.

  “Come with me,” Leah urged, tugging on his shirt, as one of the soldiers gestured toward them.

  But Michael still couldn’t move.

  “What’s wrong, Dad?”