Beneath the Scars

by Cherise Sinclair

  But making decisions for another adult? Choosing what another person should do or might want? Especially for a…a person she was in some sort of a kinky relationship with? She hated it.

  Tonight was worse. The questions Holt had asked niggled in her head. Maybe she should pick something he hadn’t offered. Tell him to do something else for her. Unfortunately, her mind was blank when it came to demanding service from someone.

  Woman-up, Empress. But…what would Holt prefer to do? She wasn’t sure. With an effort, she made her voice firm. “Rub my back.”

  How did he make everything look simple when he was in charge?

  He stood behind her, and his massage was awesome, but she couldn’t relax…because she kept wondering if he was getting bored or tired. Maybe she should be bossier and move him to other things. Did he need a drink? Should she tell him to stop and enjoy his beer?

  “This is crazy,” she finally burst out.

  He lifted his hands, and she twisted to face him.

  As he knelt beside her, his gaze was on the ground.

  Her stomach flipped over with distress. When he didn’t speak, she realized he was following the strict protocol some Masters and slaves used.

  “No,” she whispered. “I don’t like this. Please…”

  “Time is up, people. Return your power exchange to normal,” Master Z announced. “Then I’d like you to discuss the experience. Did you learn anything new?”

  Holt rose. “Subbie, you’re in my seat.”

  Sweet relief streamed through her veins. “I don’t like your seat,” she said under her breath as he lifted her to her feet.

  “Mmm, I’m rather glad about that.” Rather than letting her kneel, he put an iron-hard arm around her. His hand on her ass pressed her against the thick ridge of his erection. Fisting her hair, he ruthlessly pulled her head back and captured her mouth. His kiss was deliberately hard. Ravaging. Devastating.

  Oh, yes. This was what she wanted. As she sagged in his arms, heat spiraled up her spine.

  Lifting his head, he smiled down at her and ran a finger over her damp lower lip. “Ready to kneel again?”

  Her sigh of relief made him laugh.

  The others had already changed positions.

  Queen Uzuri had punished Max by putting tiny braids in his shoulder-length hair. Now, kneeling between her Doms, she was giggling and undoing her handiwork.

  Beth was on her knees between Nolan’s legs. Her arms were around his waist, cheek pressed to his belly. She was visibly trembling.

  What would it be like to reverse years of being submissive?

  Head down, Josie knelt in the soft, cool grass and started to shake.

  When Holt pulled her between his legs, he must have felt the shivers coursing over her skin. His hands stilled, and he gripped her waist and hauled her into his lap. Wrapping his arms around her, he pulled her against his hard chest. “Easy, pet, it’s over.”

  Shaking, she burrowed her face in the curve of his shoulder and neck, breathing in. His masculine scent mingled with the crisp rain-freshness of his aftershave. Oh, she’d needed to be held so badly.

  After a couple of minutes, she tried to sit up.

  “Stay here,” he murmured, one rigid arm around her waist. He stroked her back soothingly. “I’ll start picking on you in a while. For now, rest against me.”

  His resonant voice warmed her, calmed her, and with a sigh, she went limp against him.

  “It was interesting how our submissives felt.” Alastair’s British accent was pronounced as he spoke. “Uzuri enjoyed the treat at first but was pleased it was over. Beth didn’t like switching roles at all. Josie was quite uncomfortable.”

  Josie closed her eyes, only half listening as the Doms discussed the range of behavior—and how they themselves had felt.

  After a few minutes, Nolan left with Beth and then Uzuri and her Doms said good night.

  After smiling a farewell at Uzuri, Josie leaned against Holt.

  “Better?” Holt cupped her cheek, his gaze roaming her face. “You’re steady again.”

  “Sorry, Sir.”

  His lips quirked. “You weren’t the only one to be unhappy with Z’s game.”

  “Telling you what to do was awful. I got torn between what I wanted, and what you might want, and whether I knew what you wanted, and not wanting you to be unhappy and…”

  He chuckled. “You’re a submissive who takes her pleasure from making someone else happy. There’s a reason you enjoy bartending, pet, and why you’re so good at it.”

  Takes pleasure from making someone happy. It was a bit scary how well he knew her.

  He ran his fingers through her hair, teasing the short ends. “In a sexual context, your need to please would be even stronger.”

  Wasn’t that the truth? She let out a disgusted sigh. “You don’t seem to have any trouble taking the lead.”

  “I like making decisions and being in charge. It’s how my brain works. Like you, I enjoy making people happy. The difference is”—he grinned—“I figure I know what’s best for my charges.”

  Huh. No, she sure didn’t have that certainty. She frowned. “Why didn’t you become a doctor?”

  “I considered it. But a doctor only gets about fifteen minutes per patient. A nurse spends an entire shift with his patients.” He shrugged. “And ICU nurses have a lot of autonomy. It suits me.”

  Wasn’t it amazing how well he knew himself—and how comfortable he was with himself?

  Another question surfaced, and she tried to shut it down.

  “Ask, Josie.”

  How did he read her so easily? And, actually, that was part of her question. “Um, can we walk and talk?”

  “Of course.” He rose with her in his arms, set her on her feet, and steadied her until she found her balance.

  Glancing at her bar, she saw Cullen, arm around Andrea, was surrounded by people and obviously enjoying himself.

  Holt followed her gaze and read her worry. “He doesn’t want the job back, Josie; he doesn’t have the time he used to before Andrea. But I’m sure he’ll slide behind the bar now and then when he needs a people fix. Will that bother you?”

  She shook her head. “Not at all. I’m used to working with another bartender during rush hours.”

  “Good. Now, before we go walking, your clothes need adjustment.” He untied her halter-top again, exposing her breasts. With callused hands, he kneaded and fondled her breasts. “Have I mentioned how much I enjoy playing with your breasts?”

  Her nipples puckered into throbbing peaks, and a sizzling stream of lust arrowed straight down to her pussy.

  “I have something else for you to wear.” He went down on one knee and pulled something from his vest pocket. “Lift your left foot. Now, right.”

  He drew the underwear—it wasn’t hers—up her legs under her dress. This wasn’t a thong—there was no crotch at all, but something came to rest against her clit. His fingers rubbed her gently, making her inhale sharply. “You’re still wet. Very nice.” With a hum of approval, he secured straps around her thighs and waist to hold the thing in place.

  “What are you doing?”

  His lips curved, his gaze steady. “Whatever I want, Josie.”

  Rising, he held his hand out to her. “Let’s walk.”

  The thing over her clit rubbed slightly, but wasn’t uncomfortable. Just…odd.

  Holt led her down a quiet path they hadn’t taken before. The Capture Gardens contained several spectacularly landscaped acres of winding paths between tall shrubs and trees. There were hidden nooks and unexpected flower gardens. Fountains of various sizes were scattered here and there, adding the sound of flowing water to the music from the mansion.

  “What did you want to talk about?” Holt asked.

  “I’m just curious. The Master title implies you’re very experienced, but you can’t be much older than me.”

  “Thirty-one, and yes, I’ve a fair amount of experience.” He kissed her fingers in an abs
ent-minded gesture. “Looking back, I realize my parents lived a D/s lifestyle, so maybe dominance runs in the genes. But I didn’t know that when I discovered the lifestyle in college. At the time, BDSM was exciting and different…and then it became essential.”

  Essential. “I, uh, I know some of the members only play…” They walked over a tiny bridge with a gurgling stream beneath it.

  “During sex. Yes, many people enjoy a bedroom-only power exchange.”

  From one clearing came distinctive noises—wet sounds, slapping flesh, a man’s moan.

  Josie felt herself dampening even more. Why in the world had she started this conversation in this place? But she couldn’t stop. “And…and you? What do you want?”

  “I stay in charge during sex.” Releasing her hand, he curved his fingers around her nape, sending a rush of heat down her spine at the firm grip. “I’m also more than happy to take control outside the bedroom, too, if my partner consents.”

  Despite the way her mind blurred when he touched her, she had to wonder how the “outside the bedroom” stuff worked.

  After pulling something out of his pocket, he leaned forward and kissed her slowly. His beard-stubble was a soft rasp over her skin, his lips warm and questing.

  Something tingled against her clit, and she jumped. What? Her mouth dropped open. “That thing is a vibrator? Seriously?”

  He gave her a Look, and she realized her misstep. “Sorry, Sir. But we’re out for a walk, not—”

  “No worries, sweetheart, you’re going to enjoy the walk, and when we get a bit farther, I’ll enjoy the walk, too.”

  His evil smile couldn’t be mistaken. He intended to have…sex. With her.

  Every hormone in her body broke into a happy dance, warming her core. She swallowed. “Oh.”

  His low chuckle sent more heat through her, and he leaned down. His kiss was deep and forceful—and a hand behind her back held her still as he fondled her breasts. Her nipples were already tender, and he deliberately pulled and pinched, adding an exquisitely pleasurable edge of pain.

  Oh, God.

  He kept her pinned against him as the vibrator sped up.

  At the increased hammering on her already swollen, sensitive clit, she tensed. The vibrations weren’t hard enough to make her come, but oh, she really, really wanted to.

  “Feel that, do you?” Smiling slightly, he moved his hand down and pressed the vibrator more firmly against her clit. The burst of sensation made her almost moan.

  His gaze stayed on her face as he ran his thumb over her lips, making them tingle. “More questions?”

  How could she think when he was doing this stuff to her? “Have you had…um, D/s relationships, then?”

  “My wife was submissive,” he said softly, guiding her down the grassy path, “as have been the three long-term relationships I’ve had since.” He ran his hand up and down her arm. “Pet, you don’t need to look as if you’re poking through someone’s underwear drawers. These are questions you have a right to ask.”

  She shook her head. “I don’t—”

  “Josie.”

  “We’re not…”

  He stopped and turned her to face him. “You know better than that. What we have at the moment isn’t defined, but there’s something between us. We just have to see what.”

  Oh. My. God.

  No, wait. She didn’t even date. She didn’t want any relationships.

  Only…she did. She wanted him.

  “Now, I have a question for you. Do you notice how I’m being a kind Dom and giving you a choice?” Arm around her waist, he turned another corner and lifted a hand to a Dom wearing a gold-edged vest. “Jake.”

  The Dom glanced at her, smiled, and nodded at Holt. “See you tomorrow.”

  “Say hi to Rainie for me.” As the Dom strolled away, Holt veered off the path into a quiet niche filled with the scent of night blooming jasmine. “I’m going to take you now. Your choice is the location—here in the Gardens or back on the lawn where more people can watch.”

  Her heart thumped her ribs hard enough to make her gasp. “You wouldn’t.”

  “Mmm, yes, I would.” Drawing her down onto a hard stone bench, he kissed her slowly. “Where?”

  “Not the lawn,” she said quickly. The Gardens would be…kind of private.

  He reached behind the bench and drew out his leather toy bag and a thick soft blanket. “I had a feeling you’d choose here. I had Peggy drop my bag off.”

  Studying her face, he waited for her to respond.

  What could she say? He was utterly self-confident and comfortable with pushing her, yet she knew if she gave him a safeword, he’d escort her back to the mansion with equal grace.

  The realization was heady. She let out the breath she’d been holding.

  He smiled. “Brave girl.” He pulled her to her feet.

  On one side of the clearing were three knee-high gnomes holding glowing lanterns. Tiny lights twinkled from the encircling five-foot high bushes as if someone had scattered stars from the sky.

  Off to one side of the clearing was a post with a very recognizable T-shape. The top of the “T” was two hinged boards with circles cut out and designed to restrain a person by the neck and wrists. She took a step back. “That’s a pillory,” she whispered.

  “When you talked about your research, you seemed to have a certain…interest.” He tossed the bag and blanket onto the soft grass next to the post. After lifting up the top board, he grasped her wrists. “Hands in the small openings.”

  When her wrists lay in the semi-circles, he gripped her nape. Under the pressure of his hand, she bent from the waist…down.

  As her neck touched the coolness of the large semi-circle, he closed the top, and her arms and neck were secured in place. She felt him run a finger around the padded openings, making sure they weren’t too tight.

  Crouching, he pulled her right ankle outward and secured it with a strap anchored in the grass. He repeated the procedure on the left. “That looks nice,” he murmured, running his hands up and down her widely parted thighs. She felt him lift her skirt up, exposing her bottom.

  A shudder shook her as coolness touched her hot flesh.

  On top of her clit, the vibrator was still humming along. When he slid his fingers upward and over her very wet pussy, she almost came. “Mmmm, God.”

  “And that sounded nice.” He chuckled. “Be aware that your pretty noises might attract observers. I don’t mind, but I thought you should know.”

  People watching them? “Noooo.” She tried to straighten, and the pillory held her mercilessly in place.

  “Then you might want to be fairly quiet.” Standing behind her, he ran his hands over her back and then around to her dangling breasts. Waves of heat seared up her center as he pinched the nipples and rolled them between his fingers. One pinch grew harder until felt as if teeth had closed over her nipple. “Holt!”

  He slapped her bottom, and she jumped at the sharp sting. “By now, you know how to address a Dom in the Shadowlands.”

  A flush of shame heated her face. She did. “Sorry, Sir.”

  She tried to see her breast, but the pillory board blocked her view. Only…she knew he’d put a nipple clamp on her breast. Oh, sweet heavens. He was really using that stuff on her. A shudder of excitement shook her…until he fastened a clamp to her other nipple. This time the bite was worse, and she whined a protest.

  “Breathe, Josie. Blow out the pain, breathe in, accept it.”

  As she did, the sharpness eased to a heavy throbbing, one that seemed to increase her skin’s sensitivity. The light breeze wafted cool against her hot, damp skin. The grass tickled her feet. The calluses on Holt’s palms scraped teasingly over her waist.

  And the vibrations against her clit grew lighter.

  Holt returned the remote to his pocket and stepped back to enjoy the view. Josie’s breathing was fast, and her heart-shaped ass wiggled adorably as she fought her need.

  Running a hand over her sh
oulder to let her know his location, he moved in front and dropped to his haunches. “Look at me, pet.”

  Even in the dim light, he could see her face was darkened with arousal, her lips swollen. Her gaze lifted to meet his, sweetly submissive, sweetly pleading. She wanted to come. Needed to come.

  He’d pushed her as far as was appropriate, and in fact, it would have been better if the Saturnalia party had happened later in time. As aroused as they both were—and had been all night—this was going to be a hard, fast coupling. Next time they were together, though, he’d show her the softer, sweeter side of sex.

  “Josie. I’m going to take you now. If anything is too much, remember red is your safeword. Use it and everything stops. That applies if something emotionally bothers you, too, pet. Is that clear?”

  He waited for understanding to bloom in her eyes.

  “Yes, Sir.”

  “Good. For now, aside from being restrained”—he smiled and ran a finger over her flushed cheek—“are you all right?”

  She licked her lips, making him imagine those lips around his cock. “I’m all right. Sir.”

  Wasn’t she being a good girl in not whining that she needed to come? Because yeah, he could see she did. A butterfly vibe wasn’t that effective at getting a woman off—not by itself—but for teasing? Worked great.

  He rose, tugged her hair lightly, squeezed her hands to check circulation, and circled behind her. Her ass was perfectly positioned, her legs wide, her pussy open and wet and available.

  One day, he’d have to fuck her outside during the day so he could enjoy the sunlight glinting off her coppery curls.

  For now… To tease them both, he stroked his fingers through her slick, hot folds and heard her breathing stammer to a stop. She was beautifully ready.

  Still, he’d go slowly. She hadn’t had sex for a while, and he needed to see if she could take him without a problem.

  Pulling out a condom, he opened his jeans and suited up. With his cock touching her entrance, he reset the vibrator to high, then reached around her waist and pressed his palm against the soft plastic device over her clit.