“What are you doing tonight?” she asked. I met her gaze through the mirror. Her hair was tossed up in a messy bun, and she was wearing her pajamas so I knew she had no plans.
I hesitated for a moment. “Nothing,” I replied. In truth, I was meeting Nate after work. We were going to stop for ice cream then drive to Freedom Park and eat it on the hood of his car.
“Are you sure?” Delaney pinched her eyebrows.
“Yeah, why?” Nerves made the butterflies in my stomach flap their massive wings.
“Well, you’ve worked at Dr. Carmack’s office for almost three years now and I’ve never seen you get this dolled up.”
My heart sank. “I'm not all dolled up.”
“Okay, Brie.” Her lips puckered, and I knew she didn't believe me. “You never do your hair like that unless we’re going out. You don't have to tell me who he is now, but eventually I’ll find out.”
I grabbed my purse and keys and looked over at Delaney, who was still sitting in the same spot. “I'll be back later.”
“Sure thing, babe. I’ll try to wait up.”
I dashed out of the room and closed the door behind me. Yanking my phone out of my purse, I sent Nate a quick text message.
Me: I can't make it tonight.
Nicole: Why not??
I smiled at the pen name I’d given Nate.
Me: Delaney thinks I'm meeting someone after work. I think she suspects something.
Nicole: Did she say anything about me or that you would be with someone else?
Me: Someone else.
Nicole: Okay, so she doesn't suspect anything except that you’re with someone. And who cares if she thinks that.
Me: I don't know. Maybe we should reschedule.
Nicole: No. I haven't seen you since Saturday. Don't make me beg. Please? I need to kiss you.
His last text message made me grin. I desperately wanted to kiss him too.
Me: I’ll see you at 8.
I sent him one last text message before I hopped in my car. As long as Delaney didn't know it was Nate, there shouldn't be a problem.
Or at least that's what I hoped for.
I had done the one thing a girl should never do—I’d given him my whole heart. I had given him the power to destroy me. And now he owned every single part of me. He had all the power. And there was nothing I could do about it. As much as I’d tried not to fall for him, I had fallen. I could only hope he was there to catch me.
It was funny what loves made you feel or think. And the jealousy that came with it was the monster of all one-eyed green monsters. I wasn't prepared for any of that. Like the first big drop on a roller coaster, you hold on for dear life and scream. That's what I had to do.
After my last class on Friday, I sent Nate a message and asked if he wanted to join me for lunch, but he never responded. I met up with Julian and Delaney in the cafeteria instead. I secretly hoped she would fall for him. It would make my life so much easier.
“Where’ve you been?” Julian asked when I slid into the chair next to him. I reached across to his tray and stole a fry.
“I've been here. School is kicking my ass.”
Delaney, who sat across me, pulled a fry off his plate as well. “She literally lives in the library now.”
“I do not.” I crumbled my napkin and tossed it at her. “I just want to graduate a semester early.”
“Mmm hmm.” Delaney winked at me.
“Are you going to the Easter bash at my brother’s tomorrow?” Julian asked Delaney. I had agreed with Nate that I would spend the night with Delaney so he could go and enjoy his party. Alcohol, Nate and I would not end up well.
“No! There is no way I'm going anywhere near that asshole’s place. Plus, Brie and I are having a girls’ night.” She looked up at me and smiled.
Our plans included manis, pedis, classic eighties movies, and Delaney's favorite boys: Jose, Johnny, Jameson and Jim.
“Yep.” I tried to seem as excited as Delaney. “No boys allowed, sorry.”
Julian reached over to my tray and snagged the chocolate pudding I was saving for last. “Whatever. There’ll be plenty of tail at the party.” He winked at me.
“You're gross.” I smacked his arm and took my pudding back.
We dropped the conversation about Nate's Easter bash and changed it to finals that were quickly approaching.
By the end of lunch, Nate still had not replied to my message. By evening, my phone was glued to my hand. I had sent Nate three more messages and even left him a voicemail which was something I never did. Still no response. Delaney and I sat in our room folding our laundry. She chatted me up but I was distracted.
Where was Nate?
Every opportunity, I checked my phone. This was what love did to people. It made them crazy.
Delaney lowered her pink tee to her lap. “What has gotten into you today?”
“Nothing. I’m just waiting for a phone call from my mom.” I don't know why I used my mother as an excuse. She wasn't one to call unless there was an emergency. She preferred emails. Well, I preferred emails. I never had to worry about hearing my father's voice in the background when I read an email.
“Strange.” Delaney’s eyes were wide. “Your mom never calls you. Is everything okay?”
I tossed my phone on the bed and smiled at Delaney. “Yes, she's fine.” I brushed it off. “We should probably go to the grocery first thing tomorrow morning,” I added, trying to change the subject.
“Yep, that works. We can go once you're done tutoring.”
That night I tossed and turned. There was no news from Nate. No email, no call, no text. I didn't get much sleep, and by Saturday morning I was rushing to the library to see him. When he never showed, I sat back on the chair and stared blankly into the air. I guessed he was done with me and had moved on. I cursed the coward for not even telling me straight up. I wanted to march right over to his house and give him a piece of my mind but he didn't deserve that satisfaction. But I refused to let him see how much he hurt me, and decided I’d think of him fondly as a massive asshole instead.
When I met Delaney at our local grocery store, I was in a sour mood. The only thing I wanted to do was lie in bed and sulk over the fact Nate had turned out to be the guy I always thought he was. The worst part about it was that I had no one to talk to. I couldn't tell Delaney that her ex-boyfriend turned out to be a complete scum to both of us. So, when I hopped out of the car and strolled toward her, I hoped my face was as ecstatic as hers when she spotted me.
“How was the learning center?” she asked as she pulled out a shopping cart.
“It was fine.” I took the cart from her and walked toward the entrance. The supermarket was filled with fresh produce in the entrance. Bypassing the healthy choices, I pushed the cart down the aisle.
“Is everything okay?”
I shrugged. I didn't know what to say. I wasn't okay. I was hurt. My feet slid across the floor as Delaney picked up different items and placed them in our cart. I tried to stay strong, I tried to ignore my phone, but one little chime and I was digging through my purse like a savage.
When I realized it was a text message from Julian, I slammed my phone shut and tossed it back in the purse. When I pulled my gaze away from my purse and toward Delaney, I was greeted by a concerned look.
“Seriously. What is it?”
“Nothing!” I couldn’t mask my annoyance.
“Something is off with you. “
“I said nothing, Del!”
“You know what?” She slammed a package of Oreos in the cart and stopped me dead in my tracks. “I've been trying to give you your space, but you’ve been odd since last year. We don't talk like we used to. You don't tell me anything. Something is clearly bothering you but you don't want to talk to me, your best friend, so whatever.” She took her purse and tossed it over her shoulder.” Have this stupid girls’ night by your damn self.”
Delaney spun away and marched out of the supermarket.
; I didn't go after her.
I should have, but there was nothing to say. I couldn't tell her I was in love with her ex-boyfriend. It was something I had to bury in my heart and never talk about it.
Walking up and down every aisle, I let time pass and hoped Delaney had calmed down by the time I arrived at our dorm. A pile of clothes was on top of her bed and she was nowhere in sight. I checked my phone one last time before turning it off completely. “Screw you, Nate,” I muttered as my phone powered off. I showered, put on my favorite PJs, and turned on the TV to watch Sixteen Candles.
Somewhere through the 80’s classic, the chocolate, and some much needed tequila to cure my sadness, I fell asleep. The following morning, I awoke to the door opening. Delaney tiptoed into the room, her high heels dangling from one hand as she dropped her key in the fishbowl. Her hair looked freshly fucked, and most of her makeup had smeared to one side of her face.
“Are you just getting in?” I asked, confused and a bit hungover.
“Sorry,” she whispered. “I didn't mean to wake you.”
“Where did you go?”
I wiped the sleep off my face and looked over at the clock on my night stand. It was seven in the morning and Delaney was doing the walk of shame. She sighed and smiled. It was a genuine, happy smile.
It would also be known as the smile that destroyed my heart.
Delaney discarded her short shorts and blouse and held her shirt over her chest. Her smile grew wide on her face as though she was remembering the previous night. “Promise you won't judge?” I nodded. “I spent the night with Nate.”
I shook my head, not believing her. That was impossible. He and I were . . .
Nothing.
“You what?” I asked, my voice laced with disgust.
“I know. It's crazy, right?” She put an oversized T-shirt on and crawled under the covers.
“You and Nate? Last night?”
“Yeah. It was just sex.” She giggled. “Good sex.”
My heart shredded into a million pieces. “B-But I thought you were mad at him?” My head spun, and a part of me hoped that it was a nightmare caused by the tequila.
“I am! But that boy knows his way around my body.” She winked.
I nodded at her response. My throat was closing up, and my tears were on the brink of falling. I lay my head back on the pillow and turned to the wall. I couldn't speak, or move. The only thing I could do was cry.
Chapter 16
Brielle
Love made you do stupid things. I never really understood overpowering love. I believed that in the past twenty years I had experienced love, but clearly I was wrong. What I experienced in the past was lust. I wasn't in love with Nathaniel, I was obsessed with him, and obsession made you do crazy things.
It hurt less if I thought that.
Hours after Delaney dropped her bomb on me, it was as if a switch had flipped off in my brain. I wanted revenge on Nate.
Surprisingly, when I powered up my cell phone, Nate finally greeted me with messages. Lots of messages. And voicemails that blew up my inbox.
I ignored every single one.
I was a fool for letting a man like him in my heart. I wouldn’t make the same mistake again.
I showered, dressed, and went for a drive to clear my mind. I left Delaney sleeping in her bed. Clearly he had tired her out. My blood boiled with rage at the thought of them together, and I pushed harder on the accelerator as I travelled the highways.
I drove out of North Carolina, crossed into South Carolina, and was almost at the border of Georgia before I turned around. I didn't arrive back to the dorm until much later that night. Again my phone was filled with messages from Nathaniel but I refused to read them.
Four days passed and I continued to ignore him. It was Thursday night and I had made plans to watch a movie with Julian. I figured a distraction was better than sulking around my dorm, so I showed up at his door with a pizza and a six-pack of beer. We were halfway through the first Terminator movie when his phone began to buzz.
“Hey, bro,” he answered. Julian's gaze met mine and his eyebrows furrowed. Nathaniel?
“Yeah, I'm looking at her right now.”
That asshole had the nerve to ask his brother about me.
“All right, I'll let her know. I'll catch you later.” Julian tossed his phone on the bed.
He asked me to tell you he needs your help with biology. For you to call him when you're done here.”
I bit the inside of my cheek as rage climbed up my spine. Who did he think he was? He didn't need help. I was just a pawn in his bag of tricks. I gave him what he wanted and now, because I was ignoring him, I became the shiny toy he wanted to play with again. My grandmother used to say, “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.”
Revenge.
Karma.
A dose of his own medicine.
I was three beers in and slightly buzzed when I looked over at Julian and asked for something stronger. “I think Edwin has a bottle of cheap vodka somewhere.”
That'd do. Julian handed me a plastic cup filled with vodka. I chugged back the liquid that tasted like rubbing alcohol. Julian took a few swigs. It was nearing midnight and if I knew Nathaniel as well as I thought I did, he would be doing a drive-by to see if I was still at Julian's place. Or at least, that's what I hoped for.
I wasn’t proud of how I used Julian. It was wrong, considering I knew what he felt for me, but when the credits began to scroll on the TV screen I sat on I'm Julian's lap and began to kiss him. It wasn't a loving kiss; it was a hungry get-the-picture-I-need-you-to-sleep-with-me-so-I-can-make-your-brother-hurt-like-I-do kind of kiss.
Chapter 17
Nathaniel
Something was off with Brie. I had spent most of the week trying to get in contact with her. I’d been sick as a dog and missed all her texts and messages and it didn’t help that I dropped my phone in the sink and was unable to make contact with her for a few days until I was back on my feet. The only message I got was a voicemail asking me to call her back.
She was ignoring my calls, emails and text messages. I was desperate to talk to her, but she blew me off completely. I knew she wouldn’t like me knocking on her door, but I didn't care.
We needed to talk.
I drove past her dorm but didn't spot her car. She wasn't at the library or the dentist’s office, but I did spot her car outside Julian's dorm. A quick call to my brother assured me that she was indeed there with him.
I planned to wait until she left, but when it was close to midnight and she was still in there, I began to panic.
Julian and I were close, but it was rare that I showed up at his place. He preferred to crash at my house since I had more livable space, so knocking on his door without making him suspicious would be nearly impossible. But when Edwin parked his car next to mine, I figured if we were having a conversation it only seemed to fit that I would follow him back to his room.
“Hey, E.” I walked around the car and greeted him with a handshake. “Long time, no see.” Edwin and Julian had been roommates since Julian was a freshman, so Edwin had spent Thanksgiving with us a few times and we frequented the same college parties.
“Moose!” He dragged out the nickname that I had learned to hate because of Brielle. “Bro, I haven't seen you in forever. What's up, man?”
“Nothing, just busy with work. Have you been training? You look good.” I tried to make a quick conversation that would pique his interest.
“I've been off my game recently. Coach wants me to focus, but it's hard laying off the beer.” He ran his hand over his stomach.
I followed him as we ascended the three flights of stairs to their room. He continued to talk about his new regime but my mind was on Brielle. She wouldn't be able to hide from me any longer.
Edwin spoke about the state championship that was coming up as he slid the key into the door, twisted it and pushed it open. His voice faded as my gaze landed on Brielle. Her body was draped o
ver Julian's, his hands running through her wild hair while she kissed him vigorously.
“Oh, my bad,” Edwin stated.
Brielle pulled away from Julian and her gaze landed on mine. She didn't seem shocked to see me. Instead, she looked at me with hate. Her lips pursed and one eyebrow cocked up as if she was daring me to question her.
I forced myself to look anywhere but at her as I took in the room. Empty beer bottles lay scattered around the table. Brielle stayed on his lap. Though I refused to look at her, I knew her gaze was on me. My skin crawled with anger.
“We'll be back later,” Edwin said, closing the door. “Let you two finish up.” He chuckled, but before the door even closed, I was halfway down the hall.
Rage echoed in my ears. How could she do this? How could she be with me and a week later have her legs wrapped around Julian?
I wasn’t sure how I got on the highway, but I pressed on the accelerator and gripped the steering wheel firmly. I had to forget her. I had to forget what I saw.
I made a sharp right turn and headed for Hollow, a local bar right off campus.
Liquor would help me forget what I saw.
That was a lie.
It would alleviate it . . . temporarily. The second the alcohol wore off, I’d go right back to hating her.
Hollow was crowded with tiny tables scattered throughout the dark and dingy hole in the wall. In one corner was a pair of pool tables, the area congested as people waited for the next round, and on the other side of the room an old jukebox cranked out oldies.
I recognized some familiar faces and nodded in their direction as I strode directly toward the bar. I slipped onto a stool and dropped my keys on the counter.
The bartender greeted with me a wide smile. Michelle had been in my history class last semester; we were paired on a group project. She wore black shorts and tight tank top. Her hair was blonde and she had cat-like green eyes. “Hey, stranger.” She placed a napkin on the bar in front of me. “Why the long face?”
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