12 Days of Forever

by Heidi McLaughlin

  “I want to be a ballerina just like you,” Elle yells as she twirls on my bed. I laugh and Quinn rolls his eyes.

  “Next week she’ll want to be something else.”

  “Will not,” Elle says as she stands on the bed with her hands on her hips. Quinn nods, but doesn’t say anything else. “You’re a poopy head, and I’m telling.”

  Elle jumps down and doesn’t miss a beat as she storms out the door and starts yelling for Katelyn. Quinn stands there, looking down at the floor.

  “What’s wrong?” I ask, pulling him into my arms and sitting down on the edge of the bed.

  His lips go into a thin line as he rests against me. “Having little sisters sucks.”

  I laugh, remembering all the times I would torment Harrison. “I’m sure they’re not so bad. When I was your age I used to make your dad’s life so miserable. He would whine to Grandma every day about how I was in all of his stuff, but he was also my best friend and I knew I could count on him for anything. He protected me.” Even when he was unable protect himself from the bullies. I don’t add the last part. That’s for Harrison to share with Quinn when the time is right.

  “Come on, let’s go eat some food and figure out what we’re going to do today.”

  “We have school today,” he says solemnly.

  I scrunch my face in detest. “Fine, after school you’re all mine!”

  Quinn and I walk downstairs hand in hand and into the kitchen. Their house is huge, especially compared to the house in which we grew up. Even Harrison’s apartment in California could fit in here. I suppose, though, with a family of five you need a lot of room.

  As we step into the kitchen I pause. Harrison is standing in the middle of the room drinking coffee with Peyton hanging off his back. Katelyn is plating up food, and Elle is sitting at the island playing with her doll.

  “Morning,” he says, tipping his mug toward me.

  Katelyn turns and smiles. “Sorry they woke you up this morning. I told them not to, but Quinn said it was tradition.”

  I look at him and squint. “It’s fine. I should probably be up anyway.” I chance a look at Peyton who hides her face in Harrison’s neck. Quinn wasn’t kidding when he said she was shy.

  “Doesn’t your back hurt, holding her like that?”

  He cocks his head and winks, but Peyton isn’t looking at him. “I don’t mind. She’s pretty light, and I’ve been lifting weights.”

  “Excuse me, what?” I ask just as Katelyn hands me a cup of coffee.

  “What?” Harrison asks as if him lifting weights is an every day occurrence.

  “You — in a gym — is something I’d have to see to believe.”

  Katelyn laughs and pulls Peyton off his back. She whispers something to her, and Peyton runs by without saying anything. “Elle and Quinn, go get ready for school, please.” The kids disappear upstairs and just like that the kitchen is quiet. I walk over to the island and sit down.

  “You okay?” Katelyn asks, and I nod.

  “Just… I don’t know. I needed a break. The show went on hiatus because The Nutcracker will be showing at our theater, and I just couldn’t stay there. I missed Quinn, and I want to get to know the twins.”

  “They’d like that,” Harrison tells me.

  I shake my head. “Elle, maybe, but not Peyton.”

  “Give her time. She’s leery of people because she thinks they’re all going to leave her. She’s pretty amazing once she opens up.”

  I nod and take a sip of my coffee. I add some of the eggs, bacon and toast to one of the empty plates and start to eat.

  “What else is going on?” Harrison asks. I swallow and look at my brother. He’s leaning on the counter with Katelyn glued to his side. She’s looking at him with a pensive expression. I get the feeling that they discussed me last night. Honestly, I expected it. I know I would if someone showed up to my house late at night and then ran straight to bed without explanation.

  “I broke up with Oliver, and I’m not sure if I’m on the right path.”

  Harrison starts to smile until Katelyn elbows him. I roll my eyes. I know he, Liam and Jimmy don’t like Oliver – Jimmy made that very clear when they were on tour last time.

  “What?” he asks Katelyn.

  “Be nice.”

  “Why? I don’t like the guy. I’m not going to pretend that the news doesn’t excite me.”

  I roll my eyes. “Anyway, we’re over, and I don’t think I’ll take him back.”

  “What’d he do?” Katelyn asks, and I shrug.

  “It’s me. I’m just not into him.”

  Before they can grill me for more information, the kids come down all ready for school. There’s a honk outside, and they start rushing around. They hug Harrison before dragging Katelyn to the door.

  Harrison steps toward me and leans forward. “What’s going on?”

  I shrug and fight the tears from forming. “I’m not sure dancing is my dream anymore.”

  My brother smiles and says, “The funny thing about dreams is that they change. You just close your eyes and a new one can play out like an old movie reel with you as its star.”

  “What are you guys talking about?”

  Harrison straightens and Katelyn walks right to his side. His face lights up like it’s the first time he’s seeing her. I want that. I want to see the love someone has for me shining in their eyes.

  “Brother and sister stuff,” he says, not needing to respect my privacy, but I’m thankful that he’s changing the subject.

  “Well, I’m going to call rank and take Yvie to them gym. I have a training session with Xander.”

  “Who’s Xander?” I ask, as I stand and carry my dishes over to the sink.

  “Only the hottest single guy in town.”

  “Hey,” Harrison says as he looks at both of us. “I’m hot and single.”

  Katelyn and I both start to laugh, and he quickly joins in.

  “I know, it was just something funny to say.” Harrison says as he kisses Katelyn before taking the few steps to me. He pulls me into his arms and holds me. “You can stay here as long as it takes for you to see your movie play out.” He kisses me of the top of my head and walks out of the room.

  “I think you’ll like Xander. He’s extremely hot.”

  I smile. “Aren’t you madly in love with my brother?”

  Katelyn shrugs, but never stops smiling. “Doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate a fine looking man and neither will you.”

  The gym is bustling with patrons when I walk in at eight. The music is loud, but not uncomfortably so. We open at five-thirty to give those who travel out of Beaumont a chance to get in a workout before leaving for work. The clank of the weights coupled with the whir of the treadmills being run on is music to my ears. I look around and feel a bit nostalgic. I hate thinking that if it weren’t for JD getting shot, Liam would’ve never have put the word out that he was looking for someone to help JD get back on track. I’m just the lucky bastard that happened to be in the right place at the right time and in the right frame of mind when I found out about the opportunity. I needed a change in my life and Liam, unbeknownst to him, opened up a whole realm of possibilities for me.

  I shake the mouse to bring the computer alive. My schedule is flexible today, allowing me time to hit the floor for a workout in the hope of gaining more clients. Most people are interested in personal training, but too gun-shy to actually ask about it. They think it’s too expensive, and it can be, but I strive to keep my fees comparable to the bigger city gyms. I’d rather keep my locals happy and in my gym then to lose them to the conglomerate chains that keep popping up. Sure they have newer equipment, but I offer individualized training and three of my staff members are working on getting their degrees in personal training.

  My first client of the day is Katelyn, and the computer is showing a plus one next to her name. I rack my brain trying to remember if she said she was bringing in someone, but I can’t recall anything.

  “Hey
, Becky, can you tell me why Katelyn James has a plus one next to her name?” Becky was my first hire and manages the gym for me. She’s in charge of setting up appointments, memberships, most of the hiring and firing and is my all-around right-hand person.

  “I’m not sure. She called this morning and said she’s bringing someone with her and asked if that was a problem. I didn’t think it would be.”

  “No, no, it’s okay just curious.” Before I can put anymore thought into who’d be with her, the door opens and in she walks, followed by Harrison’s sister. I know it’s her because she’s a smaller version of him, just much prettier, although the photos I’ve seen of her didn’t do her any justice. I can’t take my eyes off of her, and I follow her every step until she’s disappeared behind the door to the locker-room. The fact that I’m staring like a crazed stalker bothers me. I’ve seen beautiful women before, and even without knowing her, I’m certain she’ll end up being like family.

  As soon as the girls come out of the locker room changed and ready to go, they pull down yoga mats and start their warm-up. Each of my clients has instructions for their one-hour sessions. They stretch and warm-up for fifteen minutes, I work them out for thirty, and they end with a fifteen minute cool down.

  I try to busy myself with any menial task I can find while I wait for them to finish, but I find myself watching Harrison’s sister. She’s more flexible than any of my clients. Her body is toned and the workout outfit she’s wearing is definitely going to catch some attention from the men in the gym. This woman is in shape and takes care of her body. I have a feeling that a few of the women that come in will be jealous. Hell, I am. I’d love to have one of my clients achieve what I’m seeing now.

  I push off the counter and make my way over to them. Katelyn smiles as soon as she sees me, and Harrison’s sister straightens. She’s about average height, not as tall as Harrison. But the word toned doesn’t do her justice. This woman is muscular and defined. This woman is a serious athlete, and I’m racking my brain trying to remember if Harrison ever said what she does for a living.

  “Xander, this is Yvie, Harrison’s sister. Yvie, this is Xander. He’s owns the gym and is Jimmy’s trainer.”

  “Well, I train all of you, don’t I?” I wink at Katelyn and offer my hand to Yvie. When our hands meet, I hope for that spark, that electricity that everyone talks about when they meet someone they’re attracted to, but it’s not there. And I want it to be. I’ve seen a lot of women in my life, but none more beautiful than her. I don’t know if it’s the way her dark hair contrasts with her emerald eyes or the fact that I can picture her standing next to me at parties and in my kitchen as we make dinner together. I haven’t felt the need to get to know a woman just by standing next to her. Her small hand is dwarfed by my much larger one, and I’m shocked to feel just how dainty she is. “It’s nice to meet you,” I say, as I pull my hand away from hers. I feel as if we lingered in our handshake maybe a little longer than necessary. None of it should mean anything, except that I feel like it does. Do I need a shock or that electrical current? Can’t I just know? “So, Yvie, what would you like to work on?”

  She immediately looks down without making eye contact, which tells me that she has low self-esteem, and for the life of me I can’t understand why. Yvie mumbles her answer without looking at me.

  “I’m sorry, the music is too loud; could you please say it again?”

  Yvie looks at Katelyn and sighs. Her eyes barely reach mine when she speaks. “My ass is too big.”

  I do what any self-respecting personal trainer would do: I lean to the side and take a good hard look at her much-too-big ass that doesn’t freaking exist.

  “Excuse me, and I don’t mean to be rude, but your ass is fine.” I want to smile, but I also don’t want to come off as creepy.

  Her head shakes slowly. “My producer says it’s too big.”

  “Katelyn, go ahead and get started on your ab routine. I want to talk to Yvie for a few more minutes.” I never leave my clients to start their routines without me, but I’m a little confused over Yvie’s confession and need to know where she’s at if I’m going to offer assistance. Hell, I may be jumping the gun here, but Katelyn brought her in as a plus one so that leads me to believe she wants help. I just don’t know how or where I can help her. I signal for Yvie to follow me so Katelyn can get started.

  “What do you do for work?” I ask, as I lean against the window. Yvie stands off to the side with her arms crossed over her chest. She doesn’t carry that defiant look, as if she’s in trouble. She’s comes off as if she’s protecting herself from something or someone. I study her more, taking in her high cheekbones and her plump lips. I never looked at her photos in true depth before and now I’m kicking myself.

  “I’m a dancer, ballet mostly.” My guess was athlete, but I noticed something different by the way she walked. I thought it was just me looking for something to sway me from finding her beautiful, but no. She has a reason to walk the way she does, to prance. It’s engrained into her system to always be poised.

  “That explains your flexibility, but why are you concerned with your….” minutes ago I had no issue saying “ass” but in this moment I’m at a loss for the most appropriate word. I don’t want to come off as crass, but then again she does hang out with rockers from time to time.

  “Ass, you can say it. You already did over there.”

  She’s sassy. I like her more and more already.

  “All right, tell me why you aren’t happy with your ass?”

  “Like I said, my producer says it’s too big.”

  “He’s a moron,” I say before I can catch myself. “I’m sorry that was wrong.” I run my hand over my hair in slight frustration. Why men insist on being like this toward women I’ll never understand.

  “It’s fine. I agree, but it’s my job to look my best, and with Christmas in a few days I know I’ll eat my fair share of junk so I don’t want too much of a challenge when I get home.”

  “And where’s home?”

  “New York City.”

  And that’s why I didn’t feel a spark. I already knew she was off limits with her being Harrison’s sister, and now I know she’s out of my league.

  “Well, let’s get started on those glutes of yours.”

  Katelyn and I spend the remainder of the day shopping for Christmas presents while the kids are in school and Harrison is in the studio accomplishing nothing. He spent the majority of the day asking where we were and when we were coming home. He kept telling Katelyn that his baby sister was in town and that she was monopolizing my time. Spending time with Katelyn doesn’t bother me though. I want to get to know her and feel a bond with her and her girls. They’re important to Harrison, and I take my role as a sister and auntie very seriously.

  When we finally pull in, she tells me we have to leave the packages in the trunk until after the kids go to bed. Katelyn says that the twins are the worst, always sneaking around and trying to look in the closet for gifts. Hearing her say that reminds me of what I was like when I was little. I hated surprises and absolutely hated waiting for Christmas morning. I looked for my presents in every nook and cranny I could find, always disappointed that I couldn’t find anything. It wasn’t until I was much older that I figured out my mom wasn’t buying presents until Christmas Eve when most things were on sale because she that’s when she could afford it. Harrison never looked. I think it was because he knew but never wanted to say anything to ruin my fun.

  As soon as we walk into the kitchen, the first thing I notice is how loud the house is. Their house is somewhat old so the walls are thinner and the noise travels. The television is on in the other room, there’s laughter and someone is screaming. Growing up our house was never like this. When Harrison and I came home from school, everything was quiet. We didn’t turn on the TV or rummage through the refrigerator. We sat at the table and did our homework until it got dark. Only then would Harrison turn on a light and start making dinner. It wasn’
t until Harrison had a paying gig and after we moved that I figured out how poor we were. I never knew my dad, but Harrison did an amazing job filling in for him. He took on so much adult responsibility to make sure I had a good life growing up.

  Quinn, followed by Elle, comes running into the kitchen. They each attach to my legs, their laughter filling the room. It doesn’t faze Katelyn, and maybe that’s the ‘mom’ part of her life. Our house was so quiet that it was almost like we couldn’t make any noise. Harrison and I never yelled and we didn’t have many toys, so maybe that’s the difference.

  Harrison walks in, followed by Peyton. She looks at me, but quickly averts her eyes. I’m not sure what I have to do, but I want to know her and wish she were as easy going as Elle.

  “Get off your aunt,” Harrison snaps and the kids remove themselves immediately. Quinn has always done what Harrison asks right off, but for Elle to do it as well shocks me. I know it shouldn’t — he’s her dad for all intents and purposes — but the way she lets go without any argument amazes me for some reason.

  “They were fine,” I say, hoping to diffuse the situation.

  Harrison laughs, catching me off guard and I look at him questioningly. “They don’t need to treat you like a jungle gym.” I glance a look at Quinn and can tell all he wants to do is spend time with me.

  “Why don’t you and Katelyn go out to dinner and a movie? I can watch the kids.”

  Katelyn stops what she’s doing and looks at Harrison. Her eyes are so wide you can tell they haven’t been going out much. Elle and Quinn start jumping up and down, but Peyton doesn’t change her expression. Maybe if she and I can spend some time together, she’ll relax a bit and trust that I’m not going anywhere. I wish I could tell her that I understand what it’s like to lose your dad, but I don’t remember. I think that’s why she and Harrison have such a bond. They’ve both been there. They both remember what it’s like to have someone ripped away from you.