12 Days of Forever

by Heidi McLaughlin

  We’re interrupted by Liam, Josie and Noah opening the door and walking in, greeting us with a boisterous “Merry Christmas”. It’s silly that we’re all here tonight at Harrison’s since we’ll be at Liam’s tomorrow, but who am I to complain about a party with adult beverages and food? And maybe a sighting of a man who made me feel so incredibly special yesterday. When we went back to his house last night, I wanted to take things to the next level, but he was hesitant. I could see that. I don’t blame him, really. I’m only visiting for a few days and probably won’t see him for another year.

  Jenna and I make our way into the dining room where Liam scoops me up and spins me around.

  “You have to meet my wife,” he says as he puts me down.

  “Josie, this is Yvie, Harrison’s sister, and this is my son, Noah.” Hearing Liam introduce his family with so much pride in his voice reminds me that there’s a different side to him. I’m used to the cynical side of Liam, and haven’t seen this loving family man since Quinn was a baby. Noah waves, and quickly leaves us to chat.

  “It’s very nice to meet you. I’ve heard so much about you,” Josie tells me. I wish I could say the same, but Liam never spoke about her.

  “Congratulations,” I say, knowing their anniversary is coming in a few days, with yet another party to be had. I’ll miss that one though, as I’m going back to New York Christmas night. As much as I’d like to stay, I have to return to work.

  “Thank you. It’s been an amazing two years.” Josie beams at Liam who leans in for a kiss. That’s my cue to make myself scarce. I glance at the door, hoping that it’ll open and Xander will walk through, but no such luck. I told him yesterday how much I hated being the fifth wheel and I thought he understood.

  I walk down the hall toward the kitchen and stop in the doorway, spying on Harrison and Katelyn. He has her caged against the counter, and it looks like he’s telling her a secret. The look of adoration in her eyes -- that is what I want. I want to look at the man I love and know I’ll never stop loving him, no matter what. My brother’s life – what he’s turned it into – is really something to marvel at. He’s taken on the role of dad flawlessly, and done so without reservation. Not too many men, or women for that matter, would do that. I know that Quinn loves Katelyn without question.

  “Hey, Mom, can we go downstairs and watch a movie?” Quinn walks in from the other side of the kitchen, and I step back so he doesn’t see me.

  Harrison moves away from Katelyn to give his son her undivided attention. She runs her fingers over his shaggy hair, pushing it behind his ear. “Grandma will be here soon. Xander went to pick her up from the airport and they were stopping to get Grandpa, so chose a movie that you guys won’t mind shutting off for a while, okay?” Quinn nods and runs off.

  So that’s where Xander is. I want to be mad at him for keeping me waiting, but the fact that he’s picking up my mom gives him massive bonus points. Yesterday, being with him, shopping and then ice-skating was probably one of the best days I’ve had in a long time. Being with Xander takes no effort at all. Everything seems to flow as if we’re in sync. When I’m with Oliver, I’m always on edge. I’m constantly watching where I’m stepping, what I’m saying. My clothes have to be perfect. My hair has to be styled. I always have to be en pointe. With Oliver I feel stressed out, but he’s comfortable. With Xander, I’m anxious and waiting for the other shoe to drop, so to speak.

  Even the way Xander touches me is different, better. He hesitates, as if he’s asking my body for permission to be caressed by him. The rise in my body temperature and the pebbling of my skin is all because of him. Yesterday, I felt seduced even though our night ended with a simple but lingering goodnight kiss. It was like he was showing me what I’m missing by not living here, or what it’d be like if he and I were together.

  Even now, thinking about being with him makes my body tingle with anticipation. I’m not expecting that we’ll be together like that again, or that he even wants to see me outside of our lives with my family, but I’m hoping.

  The door opens, and I turn. My steps down the hall are slow as people file in. First is an older man I’m assuming is Katelyn’s father-in-law, and next is my mother. She doesn’t see me and that’s okay because watching her interact with Mr. Powell is worth me being forgotten. He helps her with her coat, and the smile she has for him is unwavering. I’m going to have to ask Harrison what that’s all about. It would be nice to see her happy with someone, anyone for that matter, as long as he treats her like a queen. She deserves it. All my life, Harrison and I were put in front of her happiness. It’s time she started living for her.

  As soon as my mom sees me, I’m in her arms. I’ve missed her so much. “Baby girl, I’m so happy you’re here.”

  “Me too, Mom.”

  She pulls away and places her hands on my cheeks. There are tears in her eyes. “I’m so happy that I have my family home for Christmas.”

  I nod and before I can say anything, Quinn is wrapped around her waist. I’m soon forgotten, but that’s okay because the man that I want to give my attention to just motioned for me to follow him into the living room.

  Everything moves in slow motion for me as I walk to Xander. He’s smiling, but his lower lip is pulled into his mouth. The way he’s looking at me makes me wish we were alone. I don’t know about him, but I’m undressing him with my eyes and know I’m not doing him justice. I need to stop thinking about him like that and just enjoy our friendship.

  He kisses me on the cheek before stepping back and putting the customary space between us. “Sorry I’m late. I should’ve called.”

  “Yes, you should have,” I joke, reminding myself that we’re not a couple, and he doesn’t owe me anything.

  “I would’ve, but I don’t have your number.”

  I laugh and step a little closer. My hands ache to clutch the sides of his sweater, to pull him close and whisper my number against his lips. “I could probably give you my number.”

  “Yeah, I’d like that,” he says, leaning closer.

  “What’s wrong, mate? Does she have bad breath?”

  We step away quickly, and both of us blush. I hear Jenna yell Jimmy’s name, but the damage is done. Liam and Harrison are both standing next to him. Liam is expressionless and Harrison’s eyebrow is raised. He doesn’t look pissed — not that I’d care. I’m an adult and can do what I want.

  Harrison runs his hand over his beanie and clears his throat. For someone who told Xander that he’d be okay with us, he’s sure having a hard time finding something to say. “Uh… yeah.” He looks at Liam who shrugs but doesn’t bother looking at Jimmy because let’s face it, anything Jimmy says will be crude. “Katelyn says the food is ready.” Harrison walks away, followed by Jimmy who is laughing.

  Liam takes a step into the room, his hands shoved deep into this pockets. “Don’t hurt her,” he says, his voice monotone.

  “I won’t,” Xander replies quickly. He’s right, he won’t. There’s nothing to hurt. We aren’t declaring love for each other; we’re just enjoying each other’s company.

  “We’re just friends,” I reply, only to realize how shitty that sounds. Xander is looking at Liam, but that does nothing to hide the fact that I’ve hurt him. His eyes close and Liam smirks.

  As soon as Liam leaves the room, Xanders turns to face me. He’s hurt. I can see it in his eyes.

  “I’m sorry that was rude of me.”

  “It’s fine,” he says. “We are friends, right?”

  I nod, but suddenly hate that word. None of my “friends” treat me the way Xander does. We need a better word for what we are, or what we could be.

  “Do you think you can get away tonight?” he asks, much to my surprise. I could’ve been friend-zoned after my comment.

  “I’ll be there.”

  This is my second Christmas with the guys and their families. The first one was awkward because I felt like an outsider intruding on what little private time they actually have. This year it f
eels like family though and tomorrow when I arrive at Liam’s, I’ll be bearing presents for the kids. I actually had fun shopping for them. They’re easy to buy for. The only gift I can give the guys is free membership to the gym, and they refuse to accept that. Honest friendship is all they require, and that’s something I can definitely give them. Besides, what do you buy people who have everything? Nothing. That’s what.

  When Katelyn called and asked me to pick up Mrs. James and Mr. Powell, I had to bite my tongue to keep from telling her no. There was a certain someone that I couldn’t wait to see, and by arriving late I was prolonging what my body was craving. Yvie, in the flesh.

  Last night, watching her drive away from my house sent an ache right through my core. I’m falling for her hard, and I need to find a way to curb what I’m feeling. Except, I can’t. Yvie James is a force to be reckoned with and bit by bit, she’s inching her way into my life. I thought I could put the night in the gym behind me, but I can’t. Having her in my house was killing me. I knew if I made a move, our clothes would’ve been pushed aside until I could be in her again. The problem is that my heart is guiding me and not my head.

  The thought of asking her to stay in Beaumont has crossed my mind. Her brother and nephew are here. Her mom is here a lot, and she has a sister-in-law and two nieces to get to know. But that’s not enough for someone like Yvie. The way she speaks about her goals and dreams – Beaumont can’t compete with that. Hell, I can’t compete with that, not that I’d even try.

  I told myself this morning that my heart is shut off. This thing between Yvie and myself is nothing but a vacation hook-up. She goes back to New York tomorrow night, and I’ll go back to doing what I do best, or find a new hobby. I may even start dating. There are plenty of eligible women here… once I find one who wants me for me and not for my connection to the band.

  So why I can’t I stay away? Why can’t I walk into a room and not make eye contact with her? Until I met Yvie, I thought I had to have what everyone else described: the electricity, the fire that burns when you touch the person you’re meant to be with. No one said anything about the magnetic pull that someone can have on you. That is what I’m feeling. Yvie is the energy source feeding my addiction.

  It was never my intention for us to get caught in a compromising situation, and I should’ve known better than to pull her aside in a house full of people, especially her family, but I couldn’t resist. I had to be near her to see if she’s feeling the same way I am.

  “We should join them,” I tell her, nodding toward the other room. Yvie smiles and starts to walk way, solidifying my thought that we’re working toward two different goals. Mine needs to be protecting my heart. I don’t know what hers is, and honestly I’m not willing to find out. If I’m lucky enough to have her again, it’s going to be nothing but sex.

  I don’t realize how long I stay in the other room watching her walk out of my life until I enter the dining room. Christmas music is playing and eggnog is flowing.

  “Tonight, the night before our kids become more spoiled, is for letting loose and enjoying our family. As parents, we know how stressful and exciting tomorrow is, so we all need a little relaxation,” Liam says, raising his glass. I quickly grab one and follow suit. “Tonight, let’s be adults while our children are making their last minute wish lists.”

  “Here, here,” everyone says as our glasses clank together.

  Yvie is across the room next to her mom and Katelyn, and she’s focused on them. This is how it should be. We aren’t a couple and my betraying heart implied that we were when I arrived earlier. I can’t make that mistake again.

  “So you and Yvie?”

  Jimmy pats me on the shoulder, as if to congratulate me. Only he doesn’t know that there’s nothing to celebrate.

  “Nah,” I say with a shake of my head. “We’re just friends.”

  “That’s too bad, mate. She needs a good bloke like you around. That arse she’s been with is a total loser.”

  “So I hear.” I haven’t really because we haven’t talked about him much. I honestly don’t care about him and if he succeeds in getting her back, he’s one lucky bastard in my book. But if I find out he tells her she has a fat ass, I may just have to fly to New York and beat his.

  I hate that these thoughts are running through my head. I need to be enjoying the moment and not thinking about what it’s going to be like when she goes. She’s leaving, there’s no question about that. Yvie’s been pretty damn clear from the get-go she’s only here visiting.

  “You’d treat her better.”

  There’s no doubt about that, but it’s never going to happen. “Are you telling me that I should move to New York?”

  “What the bloody hell are you going on about? Yvie needs to move here, and you’re the one that could make it happen.”

  My gaze falls onto Yvie, who happens to look in my direction. Her smile is infectious, and I find myself returning one.

  “JD, even I don’t have the power to make a woman change her mind. Yvie has a career in New York, a life. Beaumont doesn’t have anything to offer her.”

  “That’s where you’re wrong. Take a look around you. We’re her family. If she knows you can give her all this as well as a happy life, what more could she want?”

  I down the rest of my eggnog and turn toward him. “Women like Yvie are just like you. You crave the bright lights, the fans and the stardom that comes with doing something you love. Unlike you though, where you can set up a studio anywhere, she can’t. Broadway holds all her dreams so unless I gave up my business and followed her, I’m strictly in the friend zone.”

  I have to walk away from Jimmy for two reasons: one, he makes everything seem so simple and two, because he’s right. She does belong here, but she’ll never be here as long as her dream is there. Sadly, there isn’t anything we can do about our dreams.

  Headlights shine into my window, illuminating my dark living room. I bailed on Harrison’s the first chance I could get. After my conversation with JD, I just couldn’t be there anymore. I never thought I would fall so fast for someone, but I have. When I think about my future, I see Yvie standing next to me. I know it’s all a part of my imagination, and I just need to get over it. Everything will be fine once she goes back home. I’ll be able to move on with my life, and she’ll fulfill her dreams. It’s a win-win for the both of us.

  I’m opening the door before she finishes knocking. Yvie steps in, and I slide my arm around her waist, pulling her to me with a little force. She smiles, biting her lower lip, teasing me. I shut the door and push her coat off her shoulders, letting it fall to the floor. I should stop now, but I can’t. I want this with her even if my heart breaks in the morning.

  “You left me,” she whispers in the darkness. My fingers trail along her cheekbone.

  “I didn’t think you’d notice.” I place a tiny kiss on each side of her mouth.

  “How could I not?” she whispers, as my teeth tug on her earlobe. Her hands slide under my shirt and move until she’s tracing my pecs with her fingernails. I step back and pull my shirt over my head because I like the way she’s exploring my chest and don’t want her hands restricted.

  “I see you were expecting me?” she says, pulling on my already loose belt.

  “I was getting comfortable.” I crouch down and run my hands over her legs. She’s wearing a red sweater dress with black boots that go to her knees. All night I thought about what lies beneath. I trail my hands up her legs, pushing up her dress as I go. I stand and pull her dress over her head.

  “Oh fuck,” I blurt out when I’m rewarded with her perfect breasts covered in black lace. I suck one into my mouth and her nails dig into my back. My heart is yelling at me to stop while both my brains are telling me to go faster.

  I pick her up and her legs squeeze around my hips as I carry her up to my room. Each step I take is done so blindly since my lips haven’t left her breasts. I pay equal attention to both until we reach my room.

 
Setting her down on my bed gently, I slip off her boots and she slides down her tights. Her beautiful porcelain skin looks alabaster against my dark comforter with the moonlight shining through.

  “You’re so beautiful,” I say against her skin. I shed my pants before I crawl up next to her. We’re side by side and we’re at the point of no return. We could stop and pretend the other night didn’t happen, or we could cross into the friends-with-benefits zone. Even though I’m not getting everything I want, I’m still with her. Fuck it!

  My hand trails down her side, her skin pebbling from my touch. She hitches her leg over my hip, telling me what she wants. I’m not one to deny her, and I slip my finger into her panties. Her eyes start to close, but she fights it. She’s watching me watch her as my finger works her over. Her heel pushes into my ass, encouraging me. When her hips start to rock, I know she’s close. I’m a selfish man and want to feel her clench around my cock and not my finger.

  I sit up and rip her panties away from her and unclasp her bra. She follows and pushes my boxers off of me, taking me in her hand. My eyes roll back, and I can’t help but thrust into her hand.

  “Do you want me?” she asks, as she lies back down. I inch forward and rub the head of my cock against her clit.

  “Is this what you want?”

  She bites her lip and nods. I push in slowly and hiss at the connection. I keep going, pulling out and starting over. My hands cup her breast as I slide in and out of her. Her head falls back, her eyes closing. I lean forward and capture her mouth, pressing my body against hers. We move in unison, creating friction and heat.

  “You’re so beautiful.” I kiss her again, increasing my tempo. She moans, her nails pressing into my back.

  “Fuck, you’re so wet, Yvie.” Her hands trail down my back and push into my ass, and I move faster. She screams out, asking for more. I flip her over, not giving her time to adjust before I’m slipping into her again. I pull her up, using her flexibility to my advantage. I hold her to my chest, my hand fondling her breast. She rocks into me as my finger finds her clit. I rub her frantically, feeling that she’s close.