by A J Waines
I planted one final kiss on his lips. ‘I’m glad you’re staying.’
He squeezed my hand. ‘Me too. I’ll be right here. Sleep tight.’
I climbed the stairs. Sleep tight. What chance did I have of sleeping tight tonight after all the revelations about Karen?’ Sleep tight (fists with white knuckles)? Sleep tight (body screwed up into a ball)?
I passed her room; the thin slice of light under the door bled onto the landing. Was I right to be concerned for Mel? Was she in danger? Had Karen been wrongly convicted, or was she bluffing about her anticipated pardon?
Before I clambered into bed, I propped a wooden chair under the door handle so no one could get in. Then I reached into the drawer for the little bottle of tablets. I knew I shouldn’t have any more, but I couldn’t bear to spend the darkest hours of the night ahead in a frenzied panic.
I quickly swallowed one with a sip of water and drew the covers over me. Just one more night. Stuart was with me now – he wouldn’t let anything happen to me. We were leaving tomorrow and as long as Charlie stayed hidden at the bottom of the lake, this would all be over.
Chapter 41
Snow had claimed the ground again overnight. Furthermore, the dazzling sunshine had sucked away all the grey. It was a perfect scene, like the inside of a Christmas snow-globe, crystals twinkling on the window ledge as they caught the light.
It took my breath away and brought a fresh perspective. Stuart and I were leaving today.
In a hurry, I bundled up my pyjamas and squashed them into my suitcase, slipping into the same jeans and thick sweater from yesterday. I couldn’t find my bathrobe, it was probably still at the bottom of my backpack.
I hadn’t bothered to unpack my gear since returning yesterday, not even my clunky alarm clock – that was still nestling inside my case. No matter what we discovered, I didn’t want to hang around any longer than we had to. Stuart and I were going to make a swift getaway – as soon as we could.
I went to the bathroom and splashed water on my face. Then scuttled down to the kitchen to make strong ‘wake-up’ cups of coffee for Stuart and me.
Our three housemates were already up and about. Karen was pouring orange juice into a glass, Mark was finishing off a cigarette – one foot outside the back door – and Jodie was taking the manic curls out of her hair with straightening irons. The atmosphere was that of a dentists’ waiting room with the aura of past pain, current pain and the anticipation of further pain filling every molecule of air. It was ripe for a showdown.
I went through the connecting door into the sitting room. Stuart’s bedding was folded up neatly on the arm of the sofa.
‘Where is he?’ I asked.
‘Stuart, you mean?’ said Karen. ‘He left early. He said he had something important to do and he’d call you.’
No – how could he? He wasn’t supposed to disappear. He said he wasn’t going to leave me. I needed him now more than ever. Then another thought crept in and my stomach clenched – maybe he’d got news about Charlie.
Karen put four pieces of fresh toast on the kitchen table and scooped up a jar of marmalade from behind the butter. It made a plunk sound as she opened it.
Everything looked so frigidly normal. I took a seat and dared to glance at her face. It came to me then that she must have had a hellish time in prison. Karen couldn’t cope with rules and routine; she broke them like a lumberjack snaps branches. She was a leader, not a follower; I couldn’t envisage her in a queue waiting to use the payphone, or the shower, or trouping in a line carrying a plastic tray, with individual compartments for her meat and two veg, to a Formica table.
Karen was renowned for going further than anyone else, pushing the limits. Surely, that attitude didn’t go down too well with the prison wardens. She’d have had a return quip for every barbed comment that came her way – I bet that had cost her dearly inside, with the authorities as well as the other inmates.
Holloway – ha, so close to the sound of ‘Hollywood’ – Karen’s little ironic twist.
I helped myself to cereal, then sat back; I wasn’t hungry. Karen started clearing the table.
‘What you doing today, Sugarlump?’ said Mark, blowing out his last lungful of smoke and rubbing his hands together.
‘A walk, some photos, lunch at the pub – not sure…’ I didn’t want to tell them I was leaving until I’d spoken to Karen.
‘Don’t you wish you weren’t so predictable?’ he said.
‘Why do you have to be so rude?’ said Jodie.
‘I’m only teasing – can’t people take a joke?’
Karen broke in. ‘Actually – she isn’t.’
‘She isn’t predictable?’ Mark retorted. ‘Safe, stuck in a rut old Alice – how can you say she’s not predictable?’ ‘
‘You might find out.’ She turned to me. ‘You’re not the least bit predictable are you?’
I opened my mouth with no idea what I was going to say. What was she getting at?
Jodie scrutinised the bruise which was now turning yellow near my eye. Since we’d been here, it had gone from flame red to purple, then green and now this. ‘I can put some make-up over that for you, if you like. I meant to offer before. Is it bothering you?’
‘No – it’s fine,’ I said dismissively. Actually, it wasn’t fine. My injury might have happened days ago, but it was still sending shock waves through my forehead whenever I turned quickly or bent over.
‘Anyone fancy a game of Truth or Dare?’ said Mark.
I looked up. ‘At this time in morning?’ I gave Karen a nervous stare.
‘Not sure that’s such a good idea,’ she said, slotting the final soapy plate into the draining rack.
Mark was clattering the latch of the wooden door – up and down, up and down – making a racket. ‘A game of Truth or Dare will do me good,’ he said.
‘Do we have to…?’ Jodie groaned, sounding about eight years old. If only she would stop behaving like a little girl. Now I’d seen a different side to her, I could see how creative she was; she had so much going for her.
‘Let’s do it.’ He went over to Jodie’s chair and dragged her to her feet.
‘Don’t spoil everything,’ warned Karen.
‘Why will he spoil everything?’ came Jodie’s voice, high-pitched and innocent.
Jodie really didn’t have a clue. I felt sorry for her – it wasn’t the first time.
We went into the sitting room and sat cross-legged in a circle in front of the fire. Mark had put fresh logs on, too many for my liking, and it was crackling and popping like Guy Fawkes’ night.
He leant back to take a bottle from the pile of empties by the fire. ‘We’ll spin it to see who starts,’ he said. He laid it flat between us and swung it round. It ended up pointing straight at me.
‘Ah – it’s Alice. Truth or Dare?’
I didn’t trust that Mark’s dare wouldn’t involve crippling humiliation, so I said ‘Truth’ knowing I always had the option of telling a lie.
‘Let me see,’ he tapped his lip. ‘What are you most afraid of?’
Jodie groaned.
I ignored her. I wanted my turn to be over with. I wanted Stuart to come back so we could plan our escape. ‘Afraid of? Right now?’
‘Yeah – what are you most scared of?’
I glanced at Karen but she had her eyes fixed on the volatile flames. I braced myself. ‘Living half a life,’ I said, picking at the tufts in the rug.
He looked confused. ‘What? You mean dying young or something?’
‘No – I mean living my life as only half a person – being only half the person I can be.’
Jodie clapped her hands. ‘Great answer, Alice – well done.’
Mark grimaced and sent his eyes to the ceiling. ‘Woah – that’s a bit too deep for me, Honey-pie.’
‘I thought you’d say giant spiders or being stabbed in the night, or something,’ said Jodie.
I wished she hadn’t used those words.
‘Your t
urn to spin the bottle, Alice,’ Karen said, nudging my elbow. She looked, like me, as though she wanted this over with.
The bottle blurred into a green circle and stopped at Mark.
‘Oh – my turn,’ he said in a silly high voice. ‘I choose truth.’
Damn – now I had to think of a question. ‘Okay.’ I tried to think of something that would make them laugh, but was essentially harmless. ‘What is Jodie’s most irritating habit?’
‘That’s a crap question – we’ll be here all morning,’ he snorted.
Jodie slapped his knee in mock disgust. ‘Think of a better question, Alice,’ she demanded.
‘Um – right. Okay – what are your worst habits?’
Mark slapped the carpet. ‘Oh – for fuck’s sake, Alice.’
Karen took hold of my hand. ‘Don’t be such a bastard, Mark. You never have anything nice to say about anyone.’
‘Thank you,’ chipped in Jodie. ‘He’s been such a miserable git this holiday, spoiling it for everyone.’
Mark laughed and trailed a finger slowly across the carpet. ‘Why don’t you ask about my deepest and darkest secret, Alice...?’
Silence sucked the four walls that bit closer together. I shuffled on my backside, aching to get up and walk away. What was he doing?
‘Why would we want to know about that?’ cautioned Karen, giving him a stern stare.
‘Come on, I think we’ve had enough,’ said Jodie, getting up, sensing trouble was brewing. ‘Let’s call it a day.’
Mark was in a dangerous mood. His eyes were bloodshot in the firelight, smouldering with the effects of the dope. He was about to fling a pile of mud and someone was going to get hurt. I just knew it.
‘I had an affair at the end of our third year,’ he announced. ‘I was seeing someone – a tutor – and we had…a kid together – a girl.’
I was half expecting to hear rumbling under the floorboards and the entire place to start crumbling around our ears.
Jodie was stunned into uttering only single syllables. ‘Hold on…a…child? When? Did…who…?’ She didn’t seem to know which question she needed an answer to first.
Mark leant back on both arms, his chest swelling. ‘Siena Trovato was her name – the maths tutor – May 2007,’ he said clinically.
Jodie had her hand to her mouth. ‘But we were…’
‘Yes – we were…’
‘How long?’ Jodie slowly got to her feet, looking down at him with loathing, as though he was gradually transforming into an ugly beast before her eyes.
He shrugged as if it wasn’t important. ‘Two months, three maybe – I can’t remember exactly.’
‘And you got her pregnant?’ Jodie was leaning over him, swaying slightly in her bare feet. He picked at a remnant of breakfast trapped between his teeth.
‘Where do you think I go on Saturdays?’
‘Football…’ said Jodie pathetically.
He laughed. ‘Not always. I admit I’m not the greatest dad, but I get over to see Scarlett now and again – she’s nearly six years old now. I can show you a photo of her, if you like.’
Jodie looked shell-shocked. She stared at the fire as if it was calling to her.
‘So you cheated. You were seeing someone.’ She turned away from Mark and shot a dagger’s stare at me instead. ‘See – I was right. I told you. You little shit. Did you know?’
I got to my feet and perched on the edge of the sofa, shaking my head.
‘You liar. You knew all along. You were supposed to find out. You were supposed to tell me.’ She came at me, raising her hand ready to strike. I threw my head to one side, but half braced myself for the slap. Karen, however, stepped in front of her and grabbed her arm.
‘Leave her alone. This has nothing to do with Alice!’
Karen held both her arms up out of harm’s way as Jodie dissolved into tears. ‘But she was supposed to spy on him – she was supposed to tell me what he did.’ Jodie sank into the chair beside the sofa, snivelling.
Mark laughed. ‘Ha – Alice Flemming –Inspector Morse in disguise!’
‘It’s not Alice’s fault.’
Jodie’s eyes went back to Mark as if suddenly realising who the true culprit was.
‘I can’t believe you did this to me. I thought you loved me.’
‘You might want to hear the rest,’ he said. His eyes were bright with a madness I’d never seen before. ‘It’s confession time.’ He said it with an American accent.
Mark was still sitting on the floor – the only one, now – swinging back and forward on his backside, holding his knees.
‘The rest? There’s more?!’ Jodie put her hands over her ears, but slid them down as soon as he started speaking.
As if what he’d said wasn’t enough, he went on to detonate more sticks of dynamite in an already decimated corner of the room. ‘I’ve been seeing other women all along, right from the start. I even had an affair with madam – over there.’
Karen and Mark? None of us moved as this next shock wave hit home.
Beside me on the sofa Karen let out a little moan; her forehead sunk into her hand and she was gripping her temples. ‘A brief, but enjoyable, fling at the end of our first year,’ he said.
‘Why are you doing this?’ I said. All I could think was: He doesn’t care. He really doesn’t care about Jodie at all.
Jodie looked down and mucus from her nostrils dribbled into her mouth. She wiped it away with the heel of her hand.
‘Mark?’ I pleaded. ‘She’s just lost her mum, for crying out loud.’
Mark acted as if he hadn’t heard. He was good at that. ‘It’s all over,’ he declared. ‘I’ve had enough.’
‘What do you mean?’ cried Jodie.
‘I’m calling it a day. We’re done, Babe. Can’t do it anymore.’
I sat still, trying to be invisible, uncertain about which way this was going to go.
A spark from the fire cracked and made me jump.
Karen finally said something. ‘Mark’s got problems – haven’t you Mark? He’s not in his right mind.’
‘Yes, I am. I know exactly what I’m doing,’ he said absently, flicking bits of ash that had fallen on the rug. ‘I should have ended it ages ago – it was just so easy to carry on as things were.’
‘But why now? After all these years together?’ I said.
He threw his eyes over to Jodie. ‘Because she’s been banging on and on about settling down and it’s driving me nuts.’
‘YOU were the one who first mentioned marriage,’ Jodie screamed, glaring at him. ‘At Uni, remember?’
He ran his hand through his hair. ‘That was pillow talk… I wasn’t…you know…’ He turned to face Karen. ‘You have no hold over me anymore, so I’ll have it back, if that’s alright with you.’ He got to his feet and held out his palm. ‘We can end this stupid little farce right now.’
‘I told you – I haven’t got it. We had an agreement.’
He rubbed his stubble, shaking his head. Jodie looked like she’d just come up for air after a longer than comfortable period underwater. Her hair was all over the place, her cheeks wet, her eyes puffy and she was panting heavily. Shock and outrage had claimed every muscle in her body.
‘Karen’s been doing something pretty nasty,’ said Mark. ‘She’s been blackmailing me over my little affairs. Why do you think I agreed to come here? It certainly wasn’t for the sun, sea and sand.’
He’d given her the ten thousand pounds and now he wanted it back, hence the time I caught him snooping around in her room.
‘You didn’t tell Jodie, did you, Mark?’ said Karen in a superior tone.
‘Tell me what?’ she sniffled.
‘Mark won twenty grand in a game of blackjack a few months ago,’ she said breezily.
Mark sank down on the sofa arm with a loud sigh.
‘What are you talking about?’ Jodie whined. ‘He’s been borrowing money from me all the time. He hasn’t got any.’
‘Jodie, I ha
te to tell you this,’ said Karen. ‘But Mark has a serious gambling problem. It’s not just fruit machines anymore, is it Mark? I take it you didn’t know.’
Jodie’s face said everything; she looked completely blank.
‘That’s why he keeps slipping away,’ Karen said. ‘He’s got no Internet connection here so all his online gambling sites are out of reach.’
Jodie turned to him, disbelief twisting her face, waiting for him to challenge what Karen had said. Nothing happened.
Suddenly Jodie was on her feet. ‘I don’t care about the money. I care about what you two DID!’
She looked like she was going to throw a punch at Mark, then spun round to Karen. ‘You were my friend. You’ve played me for a fool all this time – you bitch!’
She grabbed something from a plate in the hearth and flung herself at Karen. The prongs of a fork sank into Karen’s bare arm and she squealed. I pushed Jodie away and she fell into Mark, almost toppling him over. He got up to keep her at bay.
The fork hung out of Karen’s arm at a right angle and for a second she stared at the blood trickling down in four thin lines. Then it fell to the floor.
‘You crazy bitch!’ yelled Mark shaking Jodie.
I ran for a tea towel and soaked it in cold water. I nudged Mark out of the way and gently held it against Karen’s wound.
Where the hell was Stuart? Why wasn’t he here beside me, like he said he’d be?
Mark shot his arm out and jabbed his finger at Jodie. ‘You. Upstairs. Now. Pack your bags.’
He turned to me. ‘Alice. Ring for a taxi. I want her out of here. And one for me. We’re both leaving.’
I was happy to do as I was told. As it happened, it was exactly what I wanted too.
Within the next hour, the dynamics at the cottage changed dramatically. A taxi arrived and Jodie left for good. In a flash, Mark was gone too.
It was just the two of us – and Mel – again.
Karen joined me by the fire once Mark’s taxi had driven away. Silence billowed out across the room. Mel had managed to sleep the entire time. Karen must have dosed her up with sedatives again. The quiet after the ferocious storm was like a soothing, but prickly, blanket. A false sense of security.