The Hook-Up Experiment

by Emma Hart

  “Uh…” I awkwardly pointed to the sink. “I saw it. It’s soaking.”

  Elliott looked at the pink dress submerged in weird-colored water. “What is that?”

  “A trick Mimi taught me when I was a teenager. Mom always used to send Dom’s sports stuff over to get to get the stains out.”

  He swung his gaze back to mine, looking like he’d just had an epiphany. “I don’t even know what to say to you. Are you sure you woke up at five?”

  “Maybe four-thirty,” I reluctantly said. “I couldn’t sleep.”

  “You, woman, are a wonder, aren’t you?”

  “I don’t know what you mean, but it sounds like a compliment, so I’ll say thank you.”

  Elliott grinned, then kissed me. “Thank you for cleaning my house. I hate cleaning.”

  Huh. Maybe this whole thing wasn’t so crazy after all.

  “Just… don’t go in Briony’s room, okay?” There was a mischievous glint in his eyes as he said that and released me.

  “Why? What’s in there?”

  “Toys. Lots of toys.”

  My eye twitched.

  He grinned.

  Damn it.

  Just as I was about to respond, Briony herself appeared in the kitchen doorway, rubbing her eyes. “Is it morning time?” she asked in a sleepy tone.

  “It is morning time,” Elliott confirmed. “How did you sleep?”

  “I slept lots,” she replied. “Can I had bekfast now?” she caught sight of me. “Peydon!”

  She rushed me and hugged me before I could react.

  I laughed and stroked her hair. “Good morning to you, too.”

  She dropped her head back and grinned up at me. “Hiya. Daddy, can I had bekfast, pwease?”

  “You can,” he replied with a smile. “What would you like?”

  She pursed her lips and tapped her finger on them. “Ah-ha! Chocwat toast and a nana, pwease, Daddy.”

  His lips curved up, and I got the feeling this was a daily occurrence between them.

  “You got it. Go sit at the table, and I’ll make your breakfast for you.”

  “Okay.” She trotted off, dragging Cinderella by the foot.

  “Every morning,” Elliott sighed, turning to where the toaster was.

  I smiled, watching the muscles of his back flex as he put two slices of toast in.

  “What are you doing today?” he asked, facing me again. “I was going to take Briony out somewhere.”

  “I have to work.” I toyed with my hands. “Apparently, people still need to get laid on Sundays.”

  “The horror.”

  “It’s a hard life, but someone has to make it happen.” I shrugged. “But I’m a little twitchy about her room.”

  “Feel free to clean it whenever you like.”

  “Goddamn tonight being girls’ night,” I muttered, taking a mug out of the cupboard.

  He laughed. “Ah, freedom. It sounds terrible.”

  I pursed my lips and looked at him. No matter how hard I tried, I had to smile.

  Idiot.

  ***

  “I’m falling in love with him. There. I said it.”

  Chloe and Mellie both stared at me, jaws slack. I nodded. I knew it. Elliott knew it. Hell, Briony maybe even knew it, but I needed to say it out loud to make it real.

  “No, no, no, no.” Mellie got up from the sofa and walked over to me. “No, no, Peyton. You’re not staying on the plan.”

  Chloe came quickly behind her. “You hate him.”

  “I did, then I found out the truth.”

  “Ignore the truth!” Mellie flapped her hands at me. “Ignore the truth, Peyton!”

  “Don’t you think I tried?” I ground my teeth and grabbed the pitcher of margarita. “I didn’t want this to happen, okay? But, I can’t help it. He’s an amazing person, and no matter how hard I try to ignore it, it’s the truth.”

  Chloe wound her fingers in her hair. “This is bad. This is very bad. If Dom is right, we’ll never live it down. Oh God, I’ll have to hear about it every day for the rest of my life.”

  “We could kill him off,” Mellie suggested, filling her glass back up.

  “That’s a little drastic over five hundred dollars,” I replied.

  “How much is your pride worth, Peyton?” Chloe shoved her finger in my face. “Is it worth listening to me whine and complain about his gloating forever? Is it worth knowing that in the biggest dare of your life, you lost?”

  This escalated quickly.

  “We’re gonna have to kill him off.” Mellie sighed. “I watch enough TV. We could probably get away with it.”

  “You’re not killing anybody,” Jake said, walking into the kitchen.

  “You’re a funny looking girl,” I said to him.

  He gave me a weary look and turned to Mellie. “You’re not killing anyone. No matter how good your plan is, you’ll trip over something and get caught. Likely kill yourself.”

  I didn’t often agree with Jake, but in this case, he was right. Even Chloe was already nodding her head in agreement.

  “Three days, Jacob. It’s been three days since I tripped over.” She pointed to the board on the fridge that bore a big number three in red.

  “Only just. You almost fell over your sweater this morning.”

  “Which is why I tell you to pick them up, Melanie,” I said. “So you don’t trip.”

  “When did this go from Peyton fucked up to pick on Mellie?” She huffed, taking a big mouthful of drink.

  Chloe pointed at Jake. “Your clumsiness is the only thing they ever agree on. You should have barred him from the house.”

  “I live here,” Jake pointed out. “Mostly to stop Mellie from seriously hurting herself on a daily basis.”

  That was true, too.

  “Can we get back to Peyton fucked up?” Mellie asked.

  “What did you fuck up?” Jake looked at me. “Did you finally match my cousin to someone?”

  “No, and please tell him to stop sending me dick pics. The next one to land in my personal inbox is being photoshopped to be three inches smaller, printed out, and pinned to posts through the city with his phone number.” I titled my glass in his direction as he laughed. “No, I started to fall in love.”

  “You’re in love?” His eyebrows shot up.

  “Not in love. Falling. And there’s no need to sound so surprised.”

  Jake slowly nodded. “There is. You don’t do love. Mellie does. We all know Chloe is in love with your brother—”

  “I am not in love with him!” she shouted.

  “—But you, Peyton? No. I’ve never seen you come remotely close to falling in love.”

  I would have argued, but it was so true it hurt.

  “Well, Tweedledumb and Tweedledick over here,” I nodded toward the girls, “decided that the guy I should sleep with for Dom’s dickhead challenge was my high school crush.”

  Mellie held up a finger. “Who you hated. For ten years.”

  Jake quirked an eyebrow. “I’m no expert, but that’s quite the one-eighty.”

  I stared at him flatly. “I found out that what I thought he did to me wasn’t how I saw it. You won’t be surprised to hear I ignored him whenever he tried to tell me the truth in school.”

  He shook his head. He was not surprised at all.

  “When it was all cleared up as a stupid and naïve misunderstanding—although I still don’t know who egged my car—it was easy to see him differently.” I paused. “Plus, there’s something really hot about a guy looking after a little girl.”

  “Is he a nanny?”

  “He’s a father,” I said. “His daughter is three.”

  “And part of the reason she has her thong in a twist,” Chloe helpfully added. “She’s great with kids, but not so much with being restrained.”

  Hey, now.

  Jake folded his arms across his chest. “Why does that bother you? Presumably, you’ve met? You get along?”

  “She loves me,” I said honestl
y. “And I might even love her right back, but there’s so much responsibility. Plus, her maternal grandparents have launched a custody battle. Elliott said none of that would be my responsibility, but it would be. There’s no way I couldn’t not get invested. What would I do if I saw her doing something wrong and he wasn’t there? Just not say anything? Of course, she’d be my responsibility if we were in a serious relationship.”

  “Whoa,” Chloe said. “Custody?”

  “It’s a long story. Her mom gave up her rights, but they want her. That’s the general gist of it.” I shrugged and finished my drink.

  Mellie immediately poured me a new one.

  “Do you mind if I tell you what I think? As someone who doesn’t mind pissing you off?” Jake asked.

  “Go ahead. Someone needs to give it to me straight, I guess.”

  “I don’t think your reservations about his daughter are about the responsibility side of it at all. Or even the custody battle.”

  I stared at him, confused.

  “I think it’s about you. A child is such a huge departure from your life right now, and it’s not the restraint or the life change or anything like that. If it was, you’d be walking away without a second thought.”

  He had a point.

  “He has a point,” Chloe added.

  “Peyton, I think it’s all about you.” Jake shrugged. “I think you’re using that as an excuse, but what you’re really worried about is the fact that little girl will look up to you. You’ll be her role model. Everything you do, she’ll do. She’ll copy you in the way kids tend to do. Sure, you might not have to teach her right from wrong and all that stuff, but you’ll be teaching her how to be a woman, and that’s a huge task.”

  I swallowed.

  Of all the people to hit the nail on the head, why did it have to be him?

  “I’m not good enough to be anybody’s role model.” I ran my fingers through my hair. “Especially not hers. She needs stability and someone who knows how to teach her to do all the things she needs to know.”

  “Peyt…” Mellie sighed.

  Jake shook his head at her, then met my eyes. “While your job choice is more amusing to me than anything, and I tend to find myself in a state of constant annoyance around you, you’ve missed the mark entirely. You’re not good enough to be anyone’s role model? My God, Peyton? Can you hear yourself?”

  I bit the inside of my cheek.

  “You run your own business. You own your house. You own your car. You’re strong and independent. You don’t allow anyone to take advantage of you. You’re headstrong and determined. You’re ambitious, and you don’t settle for anything less than the best. But, you’re also compassionate and supportive, and you would drop anything to help the people you love.” Jake held out his hands. “You’re a pain in my fucking ass, but you’re one hell of a woman, Peyton Austin. That little girl would be lucky to have you as her role model.”

  My lips parted, but no words came out. Instead, I swallowed and looked down at the table.

  We were oil and water in terms of our ability to get along, so to hear that from him?

  It was a punch to the gut with a heavy dose of reality.

  “Think about it,” he said, softer. “You don’t have to rush into anything, and if this Elliott is a decent guy, then he’ll understand that. Sounds like he already does.” He turned to Mellie and kissed her. “I’m going to meet Sam. I’ll see you later.”

  “Okay.” She smiled. “Have fun.”

  “Bye, girls.” He waved, then left us to it.

  Silence filled the room. I was pretty sure I’d just had my ass handed to me in the best possible way.

  And I hated to admit it, but he was right. I was all of those things, but that didn’t mean I was any less daunted by the prospect of something real happening with Elliott.

  That didn’t mean I was any less afraid.

  “Are you okay?” Mellie asked, hovering as if she wanted to come to me.

  “Yeah.” I frowned. “I’m okay. I think.”

  “You think?” Chloe questioned. “Think isn’t really enough.”

  “I’ll be fine,” I amended my answer to. “Seriously, guys. It’s okay. Jake’s right. It’s more than all of those things. I think I’m just overwhelmed by it all.”

  Mellie filled all of our glasses, and we went to sit back in the living room. “What overwhelms you?”

  “Ooh, I know! Dick pics.” Chloe grinned.

  She wasn’t wrong.

  My lips turned up into a small smile. “Nailed it, Chlo. So many dick pics.”

  “You’re the one who made that part of the process.”

  “Right, but how can you pick a dick without seeing the dick?”

  “Can we stop saying dick?” Mellie looked between us. “Seriously. That’s enough dick.”

  “There’s a thing as enough dick?” I asked, grinning.

  “Yes. Believe it or not,” Chloe muttered. “It’s when you work with Dom.”

  All three of us laughed.

  And, for the rest of the night, nobody mentioned Elliott, Briony, or falling in love.

  It was amazing.

  Chapter Nineteen – Peyton

  Some things transcended time without ever getting old.

  Disney. Dolls. My Little Pony.

  The total agony of stepping on fucking Lego.

  Elliott blinked at me. “What did you do?”

  I bit my tongue, that was what I did. And it should have been celebrated.

  “Lego,” I squeaked, holding onto my foot. “Ouch. Hurts.”

  Understanding brightened his expression. “Oh.”

  “Oh? Oh! That’s your reaction?”

  He held up his hands. “Peyt, you decided to clean her bedroom. Where there are children, there are pieces of Lego just waiting to be stepped on. Lego is timeless. Sadly,” he added, bending over to pick up the offending piece of plastic.

  “I need industrial-level boots to clean this!”

  “She usually tidies it herself,” he said as he threw the Lego into its box. “She gets annoyed if I tidy it because I do it wrong.”

  “So? Why is she letting me do it?”

  “Well, I did ask.”

  “And?” I gingerly touched my foot to the carpet.

  Elliott sighed. “She said you’re allowed to tidy her room because she likes you, and because you’re a girl like her, which means it’ll get done properly, unlike when a stupid boy does it.”

  I toyed with wanting to laugh, but he looked so drained by that statement I decided not to. “She’s been listening to your mom again, huh?”

  With a grimace, he nodded. “I really have to talk to her about it.”

  “It’s a good thing. Mostly. She’ll grow up to be fierce.” I shrugged. “If fierce is the worst attribute she has, everyone wins.”

  “Great. I’m going to end up with two of you.” He flung his hand in my direction.

  “Hey.” I put my hands up, holding a stuffed doll. “I can go at any time. Her, you’re stuck with. Me? Not so much.”

  “You’re not allowed to go.” His eyes sparkled. “At least, not until you’ve cleaned the room.”

  I folded my arms. “It all makes so much sense. You don’t want me. You want my cleaning habits.”

  “Right now? Yes. I think I just saw a week-old slice of banana.” He wrinkled his face up.

  “Wow. Talk dirty to me, Elliott.”

  “I just did. Literally dirty.” He moved a plastic carriage and picked up a black sludgy mess. “Yep. Week-old banana.”

  I flattened myself against the wall and winced. “Kids are gross.”

  “Welcome to my world.”

  “Your world is gross.”

  “And glittery. Gross and glittery,” he reminded me.

  No. Actually, I was the one who was glittery. I’d been attacked by a small pot of glitter that didn’t have its lid on properly.

  I’d be washing that off my scalp for weeks.

  “Yeah, you’r
e gross, and I’m glittery,” I said when he came back in.

  “It’s kind of like Beauty and the Beast,” he mused.

  “Except, I’m the one who got cursed, because this glitter will never come out of my hair.”

  He looked at my hair and started laughing. “It suits you, though. Bright blue is your color.”

  I gave him a totally flat look. I was seconds away from telling him to go fuck himself when Briony’s footsteps on the stairs echoed up to us.

  “Daddy? Daddy. Daddy.” She stopped in the doorway. “Daddy.”

  “Yes, princess?” he replied.

  “I drank all the juice,” she said. “And I can’t reached another.”

  “I’ll get you a juice if you help Peyton finish putting your toys away,” Elliott bargained. “Because you’ve had two since you got home, so that’s more than enough for now.”

  Briony sighed. “Okay, Daddy. I help.”

  She immediately got stuck in, going to the little Barbie house in the corner. There was a pink tub next to it, and she enthusiastically picked up all the dolls and the clothes to put them away.

  She moved even quicker than I did, assorting all her toys into their rightful homes until the floor was clear of them. All that was left behind was an empty apple juice, a popsicle stick, and what looked to be a Reese’s mini squished into the rug.

  Elliott took care of the rug, rolling it up with a mutter about not remembering being that dirty as a kid, causing me to bite back a laugh.

  Briony put a snow globe on the windowsill and looked over at me. “Are we done, Peydon?”

  “I have to mop the floor, but nearly.” I smiled.

  “Oh, okay. I had a question.”

  “Sure. What’s your question?”

  Shyness flickered over her features as she looked at the floor. “Are you and Daddy fwends?”

  “We are friends,” I said slowly. I walked over to her and crouched down. “What’s up, Bri?”

  “Are you donna stay fwends? ‘Cause, ‘cause, Peydon,” she finally looked up at me, “I like hading you here.”

  I pushed her hair out of her eyes. “I think we will stay friends, yeah. He’s quite funny, isn’t he?”

  She nodded. “And he gives the bestest huggies.”