A Love Restrained

by Becky Flade

  Christ, I’m stupid. “How long have you been on his payroll?”

  “You didn’t know?” He laughed, not entirely sane. “He said you didn’t. I went to see him after you first came back and Parks told me you were DEA. Wanted to see what Chic would give me for ending you. He ordered me not to touch you. Said you were protected. He told me not to worry so much—if anyone knew I was one of ‘his cops’, I’d already be in a cell.”

  “Chic suspects you. That’s what he hinted at in the meeting we had. He was warning you. Touch me, touch Kylee or Brady, and he will kill you.” He gauged the distance between them. I’ll never make it.

  “Oh well, nothing to be done about it now. After your stupid junky sister screwed things all to hell, I knew it would end this way. Let’s keep Parker and the baby out of it.”

  “What did my sister have to do with it?”

  A chill washed over him when he heard footfalls behind him. She must be barefoot. I would’ve heard her on the stairs otherwise. There’s no way to warn her. Her gun is upstairs in a pass coded lockbox. She’s walking into danger unarmed. And I can’t protect her.

  “Jase? Brady’s asking for you. What did my dad say?” Kylee asked.

  His eyes didn’t stray from Shore or the gun as she entered the room.

  “Matt?”

  He heard the confusion in her voice.

  “Let me introduce you to the man who watched you and Brady while I was gone.”

  “What?”

  “I was protecting you,” Shore said.

  “By spying on us?”

  “If I didn’t, Chic would’ve sent someone else. Anything could’ve happened.”

  “What did he have on you? How much did your soul cost?”

  “I lost my wife and kids protecting you, you ungrateful bitch!”

  The gun shook. He’s coming unhinged. He surveyed the room: knives, appliances, furniture. All of out of his reach. Damn it. It’s a warm room, functional, feminine but not fussy. It’s the heart of her home. But right now it felt more like hell. What is it with me and her and this kitchen? I’m going to die here. Let it just be me. Look at me!

  “Why did you mention my sister? Did you kill her?” Look at me. Not her. Focus on me. The cop turned angry eyes on him. Good.

  “There’s a long history of Donovan-on-Donovan violence in your family and Checcio couldn’t blame me if you were killed by your own flesh and blood. She was easy to find. All I had to do was pour a few jiggers of whiskey, and a bump of coke. She wouldn’t shut up about how you’d taken her father and then her mother from her. How you had everything, and she had nothing. If she kills you, and goes after Parker and I took her out, I was doing the job I’d been paid to do.”

  “And conveniently tie up loose ends.”

  “But she took Brady instead! She took my baby.”

  “She wasn’t supposed to do that, Parks. I swear. When I heard the Amber alert, I called Donovan on the disposable cell I’d given her. Bitch giggled like an idiot. Told me she’d taken from you both what mattered most. That was never the plan. But I had to deal with the situation in front of me. Told her she could do this smart, make you suffer and get paid.”

  “I knew it felt too sophisticated. The calls, the voice modifier, the drop, were all you. You tried to use the abduction to drive a wedge between Kylee and me. Then you executed Amelia.”

  Shore shrugged a shoulder. “Wanted to kill you too but the opportunity didn’t present. I’m stuck with this.”

  “Mommy? Daddy? I’m cold.”

  I thought I knew fear when Kylee had come up behind me. That was nothing compared to this. Don’t come down. Don’t come down.

  “Let me go to him, okay?”

  “No further than the bottom step. Convince him to stay up there. Don’t forget I can see you from here. And don’t be stupid.”

  He had a clear shot of Kylee and the baby should Brady come downstairs. He shifted his body trying to block the doorway and Shore’s line of sight.

  “Don’t move, Donovan. I’ll enjoy killing you. But it’ll break my heart to shoot the kid.”

  “Then cover your face. He’s going to come running when he hears gunshots. If you’re not planning to hurt him, cover your face. If he can’t identify you, you can tell any story you want.”

  “I already got my story. Someone, maybe an associate of Checcio’s discovered you were a cop or your sister’s accomplice, shot you before I arrived. I witness Parker taking a fatal hit. Shooter escapes out the back as my former partner dies in my arms just like Guff died in hers.”

  “Poetic.”

  “I think so.”

  Fresh anger surged through him. He’s going to paint himself a hero. “Chic loses his deal, and he’ll kill you. You know that, right?”

  “I like my odds. He ordered me to stand down when you got home. It’s not my job to protect them anymore. It’s yours. You’re doing a great job by the way.”

  Footsteps moved above them, away from the stairs and toward the front of the house. Thank you, God. I’m not getting out of here alive. I don’t know that Kylee is either. There must be a way to protect Brady. He’s the priority.

  She returned to his side, leaned into him. He wrapped an arm around her. We never got our chance. There’s always been someone, something, in our way. He kissed her forehead.

  “Step to the right, Parks.”

  “Fuck you and don’t call me that.” She lifted her chin. “You’re going to kill me. What does it matter where I’m standing?”

  I love you. Do you know how much I love you?

  “There’s no reason for you to die too. Brady doesn’t have to be an orphan. Are you ready to leave your little boy all alone? For him? He lied to you, abandoned you, left you to raise your son alone, then forces his way back into your life and throws it into upheaval. Look at everything that has happened since he returned. Are you going to sacrifice your life—for him?”

  He’s my self-appointed judge and executioner listing my sins before a court of one. And I have no defense. I did everything he said I did. I’ll die for you.

  “He’s right.”

  “No, he’s not. Jayson had a job to do, and he did it. He left to protect me. But you? You’ve lied and deceived at every turn, pretended to be my friend and a good cop for years. You are responsible for the kidnapping of my son. You’re a murderer and a monster. Did you think I would watch you kill the man I love? Then help you cover it up?”

  “I guess I didn’t. Say goodbye.”

  She hurled something at Shore as he pulled the trigger. Hit him high on the shoulder, and his arm jerked. He felt the punch of the bullet as it entered his chest. Searing pain screamed through his body and roared in his ears. Kylee’s screams mingled with the nearing wail of sirens. How did I get on the floor? She knelt above him. She’s crying. Don’t cry baby, it’s going to be okay.

  “Bitch!”

  Shore took aim at her head. Jesus, no! The kitchen door burst open, and Keith Parker barreled into the room. He struck Shore in the back twice, and the younger man folded. The gun fell to the tile. As the world grayed, she sobbed, “Officer down! We’re in the kitchen, please, we need an ambulance.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t!” Kylee shouted.

  Dad?

  A second gunshot; then darkness.

  CHAPTER FORTY-ONE

  “Wake up. Open your eyes. Look at me. I need you. You can’t leave me, okay, you promised you wouldn’t. You gave me your word. And you don’t break promises.” She’d waited days for him to open his eyes. She talked to him, prayed for him, cried and begged for him to wake up. She hadn’t left his side. I won’t. She picked up her book. I’ll wait for you forever.

  “Hi.”

  Relief flooded her. She dropped the book and leaned forward. Tears ran down her face. She made no effort to stop them. He came back to me. She threaded her fingers with his. His eyes reflected pain and confusion. And love.

  “How are you feeling?”
>
  “I’m not sure. Everything hurts. How bad is it?”

  “They’ve had you in a medically induced coma.”

  “That bad?”

  “It was a complicated surgery.” I thought you were going to die. “We have matching scars now.”

  “Are you okay? How’s Brady?”

  She smiled. “I’m fine, better now that you’re awake. And Brady’s…okay. He’s having nightmares, and he’s withdrawn, but getting better each day. He’s with my parents. I’ll bring him to visit once the doctors clear it. I think seeing you will help. He’s scared.”

  “I bet. What happened?”

  “What do you remember?”

  “You threw something at Shore. And the bastard shot me.”

  Pale and thin, his normally well-groomed appearance turned scruffy and beaten, and he never looked better. She held his hand to her cheek.

  “I palmed a paperweight off the breakfront in the dining room. Knocked him back enough the bullet missed your heart.”

  “Thank God for high school softball. Did I imagine your dad? Was he there?”

  She nodded. “Mom sent him over with food. He saw through the window we were in trouble. Ran to the garage and grabbed a tire iron. That’s when he heard the shot and busted down the door. You were on the floor bleeding and Matt stood over me with a gun; Dad went a little crazy.”

  “After that everything gets fuzzy. Fuzzier. I thought I saw my father.”

  “No ghosts, I promise. Maybe my dad doing a terrifying realistic impersonation of Mark McGuire but with a tire iron called your father to mind.” She smoothed her thumb over his hand, reassured by the steady beat of his pulse under hers. “Do you remember calling Frank Stedman instead of my parents?”

  “Knew someone was in the house.”

  Pain flared in his eyes, twisted his features. He’ll fight to stay awake. I have important things to say. Things he must hear. All the things I should’ve told him before. That I thought I’d never get the chance to say.

  “Stedman heard everything and sent help. And he kept Brady out of harm’s way.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I told Brady to go to my room, call nine-one-one, and hide. Stedman was on the landline. They could hear what happened in the kitchen. He talked to Brady, through all of it. He never came downstairs. He stayed safe. Because of you. You kept him safe.” She wiped the tears away and sniffled.

  “And what about Shore?”

  “Ragin hadn’t gotten far. She responded first when the call went out. Matt saw or heard her come through the door. Knew it was over. He ate a bullet rather than go to prison.”

  “Jesus.” He stared at the ceiling for a long moment before his gaze returned to hers. “I’m sorry someone you trusted, who you cared about, betrayed you. I’m sorry you were hurt. And that you lost a friend.”

  “Thank you.” Matt’s death would always haunt her. Just as Amy’s would stay with him. “Can Brady and I stay at your place? I can’t be in my house right now.”

  “There’s nothing I’d like more.” He brushed his thumb over her knuckles. “You can stay with me for as long as you like. Can I ask you something?”

  She nodded.

  “Did you say the things you did because you thought we were going to die?”

  She kissed his hand. Leaned in and kissed his forehead, then his lips.

  “I love you. I always have. I always will. I tried to deny it. To you, to the world, but most of all I tried to deny it to myself. Thought you’d died, twice in one day. And both times I died a little too.”

  “I love you so much.”

  His eyes closed, his hand squeezed hers, and a single tear escaped his thick, dark lashes. She skimmed her lips over the track the tear left.

  “No more fighting. No more loss. We earned our happy ending.” She laid her head on the edge of his bed.

  “I knew there was a chance you had moved on while I’d been gone. But in my heart, I knew you waited for me. Because I waited for you.” He trailed his fingers down the side of her cheek and tucked her hair behind her ear. “I’ve waited for you all my life.”

  “Thank you for loving me. For not giving up on us when I had.” She smiled when he yawned. “You need more sleep.”

  “Will you be here when I wake up?”

  “Count on it.”

  “When those cops beat me up I dreamed you were with me in the hospital. You said you loved me, forgave me. Woke up alone. Broke my heart.”

  “This time it’s for real. And it’s forever.”

  CHAPTER FORTY-TWO

  Her parents and Brady entered the hospital room. She didn’t miss her mom’s pointed look at her sitting on the side of the bed; the way she stared, and smiled, at their entwined hands; or the way she nudged her husband. Mom misses nothing. But I’m not worried about how they’ll take the news. They planned to tell Brady they were a couple. And couldn’t guess how he’ll respond.

  “Dad!”

  She caught Brady as he leapt into the air. “You have to be careful, like when Aunt Jordan got the new puppy.”

  She kissed him and put him down where she’d been sitting. Then backed away, giving the two loves of her life a moment. They were so similar and she’d nearly lost them both. Overwhelmed, overcome, she cast her eyes away from them. Flowers, stuffed animals, cards and crayon drawings sat or were stuck to every available surface in the room.

  Jayson asked the nurses to start distributing what they could to the patients in the pediatric wing. Already the staff’s favored patient, following his request there wasn’t a woman in the building wouldn’t happily stick a shank in her back for a shot at being his woman. Proud to be his and her emotions in check, she tuned back in to father and son.

  “You can use this until you’re feeling better.” Brady laid his wubby down on Jayson’s chest. “You’re a hero.”

  “That’s me. I’m Batman.”

  She caught the silent plea Jayson made with his eyes. He was on the verge of tears. She joined them, her parents by her side, with a smile on her face and a lump in her throat.

  “I should beat your ass, handsome.”

  “Why? Didn’t you hear? I’m a hero.” He smiled and her mother released a quiet, watery breath beside her.

  “For almost getting yourself killed.”

  Jayson looked at her dad, his smile slanted and crooked. “How do I thank you for saving my life? Again. If there’s ever anything I can do…?”

  “You can start by calling me Dad. And by putting a ring on my little girl’s finger once and for all.”

  “Dad!”

  “That’s my intention, with your blessing. But more importantly, with his.”

  “That’s as it should be.”

  Her mom asked, “What are you doing about work?”

  “Mom!”

  “I’ve had a few visitors and a few offers. I even got an offer from the Justice Department in D.C. And turns out, I’m still employed by the DEA.”

  “Is that right?”

  “Yep. And Tim said I could always come back to the bar if I want.”

  She knew he wasn’t taking the job with Justice. They had already discussed and dismissed that option. Stedman’s actions in the days leading up to the shooting had gone a long way to healing old wounds, but not enough he wanted to work with the man day in and day out. The offer from the police department’s Internal Affairs office intrigued him. He hadn’t needed to tell her, even though he had, she’d seen it all over his face.

  I don’t need to ask to know you hate the idea of my working for the rat squad. I bet you still bleed blue. The police have power over the innocent and the guilty. And power corrupts. Even good cops are susceptible. We’ve seen it first hand. Please think about it.

  In the days after Matt’s suicide, the investigation revealed he had a long-time gambling problem. Chic bought his marker to pressure him into watching her, among other things. His police pension was forfeit; Sylvia and his kids wouldn’t receive death ben
efits—he’d sacrificed his children’s future.

  He was right. Internal Affairs needed him. They needed someone who couldn’t be bought.

  “We’re not moving to D.C.” She smiled at him, giving him her answer and reassuring her parents. “He’s taking a command position within the police department.”

  “What about Chic?”

  “Cooperating fully. His agreement with the U.S. Attorney’s Office stands.” She gestured to a gaudy display of flowers. “A get-well bouquet courtesy of the Checcio family. I don’t think he’s a threat.”

  “Always was a man of his word. I’ll give him that much.” Her father kneaded her shoulders. “It’s over.”

  “He told me he knew you and my parents back in the day.”

  “We all grew up in the same neighborhood. He had a thing for your mother if memory serves. Have you seen her?”

  “She and her fiancé visited yesterday.” Jayson smiled.

  “Marcus will have her in front of a justice of the peace the minute you get out of the hospital. He’s a good man.” Her dad leaned over and said, “Just like you.”

  “Mom told me you made arrangements for Amy to be buried beside our father. Thank you, for everything you’ve ever done for me and my family. You’re the best man I’ve ever known.”

  Her father blinked back tears as he ushered her mother into the hall. And then there were three. Nerves set her heart racing. This is it. She sat on the bed and lifted Brady onto her lap.

  “I missed you, bub.” She kissed his cheek. He won’t be a baby much longer. The last few weeks have seen to that. I hope this helps him get past it. “We have some stuff to tell you.”

  “I’m going to be in the hospital for a while yet. Thought you and your mom could stay at my place. I’ll feel better knowing people I trust are keeping an eye on my things.”

  “Plus, it’ll be easier for me to feed Gonzo,” Brady added.

  “Gonzo?”

  “Yeah, didn’t we tell you? Brady and I got a turtle.”

  “I wanted a puppy, but daddy said we should try something easier first.”

  “Good thinking.” Here goes nothing. “How would you feel about living at your dad’s even after he gets out of the hospital?”