by Sean Michael
“We’re all coming—you’re going to have a full-on cheering squad.” Brad gave Cash a smile. “You played too, huh? I’d have put you down as a football player, like Jackie.”
“I played football. Rodeo. Baseball. Track. Anything I could not to go to class.”
Brad pointed at him with a fork. “No giving Ben any ideas.”
“Nope.” Cash turned to Ben. “You’re going to be brilliant—sports and school. Jackie told me.”
Ben blushed a little, back going straight, proud. “Yes, sir.”
Cash opened the applesauce, nodding. They were good kids.
His luck with not getting sprayed ended as the first bite of applesauce went in. Branson sneezed and covered him with bits of peas and applesauce, a startled look on the little guy’s face.
Brad started snickering.
“Oh, bless you!” Cash looked over at Brad. “That was an accident.”
“Tell that to your shirt.” The sniggers turned into laughter, the other kids joining in, and soon all of them were howling.
“Oh, y’all. You’re fired, all of you.” Cash couldn’t help but laugh too.
The meal was fun, and the twins helped Ben frost the cake. Brad added ice cream to everyone’s plate as Ben served his dessert treat.
“What do you guys want to do before bed tonight?” Brad asked, licking frosting off his spoon.
“Watch cartoons!”
“I’m going to go call Tommy, see what’s up this weekend and stuff. You guys yell if you need help with them,” Ben said.
“Sure, Ben. If you want to go do something with your friends, your uncle Cash or I can drive you.” Brad started clearing the table. “Are there cartoons on this late at night, or do we save that for tomorrow morning?”
“They’ve got a couple of movies that Mom and Pop let them watch Friday nights—they’re by the TV, marked ‘Twin Friday.’” God, what would they do without Ben?
“Oh, awesome. Thanks, Ben. For supper and the cake too. Go on and find someone to have some fun with.” Brad ruffled the kid’s hair again.
“Yeah.” Ben grinned and headed off, shaking his head as Bethy followed him, jabbering away.
After rinsing the plates and stuff, Brad started filling the dishwasher while Cash got Branson cleaned up and in the jumper deal that hung between the front room and kitchen.
“We could go have that conversation while the kids watch their cartoons,” Brad suggested.
“I’m not sure three is old enough for solo cartoons, man. I caught Brenna putting crayons up her nose yesterday.”
“Crayons up her nose….” Brad shook his head and leaned down to tweak one of Brenna’s chocolate-frosting-covered cheeks. “Are you a silly girl who puts crayons up your nose?”
“It itched!”
“You’re supposed to scratch from the outside, silly—you wouldn’t want to accidentally touch your brains, would you?”
“Where are my brains?”
“Up here.” Brad grabbed her head and kissed the top of it. “On the inside.”
“Can I see?” Her eyes rolled, trying to look up.
“No.” Brad laughed and gave her another kiss before grabbing some paper towels and wetting the corner. He started to clean her up. “There’s lots of parts of your body that are inside where you can’t see.”
“Uh-uh.”
Brian nodded. “Uh-huh. My penis is on the outside and yours is on the inside.”
Oh for fuck’s sake.
Brad made a choking noise. “Okay. I think it’s time to go watch those cartoons.”
“Sounds good to me.” Cash shared a panicked look with Brad.
“Mommy’s was on the inside too.” Brenna stuck her tongue out at her twin.
Brad scooped her up, putting her on his shoulders. “It’s the cartoon train! All aboard!” The panic was starting to come across in Brad’s voice.
“Choo-choo!” Cash grabbed Brian and they headed to the TV, where they plopped the wonder twins down before Cash went back and grabbed Branson.
Jesus, he was tired. Bone-deep tired.
Brad got the movie going and the twins settled together in the love seat, the cartoons soon holding them both entranced. Then he joined Cash on the couch. Cash tugged him closer so he could lean against Brad’s chest. On his other side, Branson settled on his belly, sucking one fat thumb, eyelids drooping.
“Hey,” Cash said after a moment.
“Hey.” Brad slid a hand over Cash’s shoulder and rubbed, thumb digging into his muscles. “We’ve almost made it through another day.”
“Almost. You think it gets easier?”
“Sh—sugar, I hope so.” Brad yawned wide enough to crack his jaw. “Val used to do this with Jackie working out of the house. She must have been nuts.”
“Well, she was your sister.”
“Be nice, now.” Brad squeezed him for a second and then shifted lower on the couch, spreading his legs lazily. “She made it look easy, man. If we get it down half as good….”
“We’ll be lucky.” Cash leaned a little harder, patting the baby’s butt as he dozed some.
“Yeah, really.” Brad’s cheek rested against Cash’s head, body going still, breaths slowing.
At some point the twins crawled up with them, Brenna on Brad’s lap, Bri along his side. Cozy, comfy, easy together—it was moments like these that were going to get them through everything else.
THE NAP during cartoons gave Brad a second wind for baths and the bedtime routine for four kids under the age of six. Ben, as always, was a big help. Val and Jackie had done really well with him—he was the greatest kid.
It was weird not having Belle there too. It made him a bit twitchy, but he was trying to ignore it. Getting out of the house, doing something “normal” was good for her. Probably for him and Cash too.
Cash was looking a little haggard, really, and it didn’t surprise Brad to find him on the porch outside the office, smoking a cigarette and drinking a beer. Brad held his hand out for the brew and took a long swig before passing it back and settling on the swinging chair.
“Hey, man.” Cash blew the smoke out of his nose in a rush.
“Hey. You look tired.”
“Yeah, no shit. I’m okay, just used to a different kind of day. I bet you get that.”
“Fuck yes. It’s not unusual for me to work a twelve, fourteen-hour day, but at a desk, at the computer. This is a whole different ball game.”
“I spend a lot of time on my own, outside.”
“Cattle and kids not the same thing?” He gave Cash a grin, a wink.
“God, no. I can drive the cattle out to pasture.”
He threw his head back and laughed at that.
Cash chuckled, the toe of one boot nudging Brad. “You got a fine laugh.”
“Thank you, cowboy.” He stretched back out, eyes half-closed as he took Cash in. It was a great view.
“So, fess up, buddy. What’s up with your momma?”
“She’s an uptight bitch.” Brad looked out into the yard. They’d left the ball out there. He’d have to remember to go pick it up. “She doesn’t think two gay men should be bringing up her grandchildren. Of course, she doesn’t want to bring them up herself either.”
“She can’t believe you’d hurt ’em, man. It’s obvious as hell you love those babies.”
“No, no, she doesn’t think that. She doesn’t think it’s right. It looks bad. What will her society friends say? It isn’t right.” He looked over at Cash apologetically. “I might have mentioned we were thinking of moving them to Texas.”
“Ah. Well….” Cash shrugged, smiled. “I know it’d be hard, but we could put all six through college on the sale of the house and leave them their trust-fund money.”
“Yeah, well, that’s all details right now. I’m more concerned by what she said when I told her. She threatened to fight us for custody if we tried to take the kids out of the house, let alone the state.”
Cash’s eyebrows rose, lips
twisting. “I don’t fucking think so.”
“That’s what I told her. She said she didn’t want to do it, but she’d use the fact that we’re gay to take them away.” He shook his head. “I don’t know why she thinks that’s going to help her case. Not here. And we’re both out. I think she’s trying to scare us into staying put.”
“I guess I can understand it…. I don’t like it none, though.”
“No. She’s a manipulative, cold woman. If going to Texas had been her idea, she’d be hiring people to help us pack, but it wasn’t, so she’s going to try and keep us here. It’s all about control. It always has been with her.”
“Man, I’m sorry. I am. I mean, if I could bring them back….”
“You and me both, Cash. But they’re gone. And you and me are all those kids have to look out for them, to love them. I’m not going to let my mother make the decisions for us. But I thought you should know she’s gonna kick up a fuss. Maybe a big one.”
“Well, buddy, you and me can handle it. Shit, we’re handling this.” Cash nodded to him, looking serious as hell.
“We are, and we will. I wish she loved the kids as much as she loves the idea of grandchildren.”
“Yeah, well. She didn’t get to choose them, I guess.”
Brad snorted. “No, and that’s the problem. She didn’t get to choose Val’s husband, and then Val had the audacity to have more than two. She’s convinced I decided to be gay just to thumb my nose at her.”
“Lord, I remember when Jackie met Val, man. He was over the fucking moon. She was all he saw in the whole world.”
“Yeah, Val fell just as hard. Fuck, they were good together. Even when they fought, you could see they loved each other.” He’d been ready to disapprove of anyone who tried to marry his sister, but Val had been so happy.
“Yeah.” Cash’s lips went tight, and Brad could see him fight the emotions.
“Come here, man.” He patted the space next to him on the swing chair. It felt good to have that skinny body snuggled up next to him. “They’ll always be with us, man. In those kids.”
“I know. I just…. Goddamn.”
“I know.” He swung them, listening to the chains and wood creak. “I know.”
Cash’s hand slid over, fingers twining with his. He held on.
“So tell me about this place of yours, Cash.”
“We’ve got three hundred and eighty acres. About a hundred head of Brahmas and twenty horses. There’s the main house, which is an old, four-bedroom place, but there’s room to build. There’s a workshop, a couple barns. A pond stocked with bass.”
Someone loved his home.
“Good schools?”
“Not bad. Not like fancy private schools, but good enough that Jackie went to med school on full scholarship, you know? And they’d have land, horses, people who knew and loved their daddy.”
“Val didn’t want private school for them. She hated every second of it.” He’d liked it well enough. He’d been a good student, good athlete.
“There’s art, dance, sports. I don’t know, man. I know it’s not your dream, but this land will be theirs one day. I want them to know it.”
“Yeah, well, I don’t know as I have a dream for them. I mean, they weren’t mine to dream for, aside from wanting my nieces and nephews being happy.” Man, he was seriously thinking about this.
“What about your dreams?” Cash looked over at him and, he’d be damned but Cash honestly looked interested.
“I want my own games software company. I’m getting there.” He was. The thing was, when he thought about it, his dreams were portable.
“Yeah? That’s got to make you the coolest uncle ever, huh?” Cash chuckled, the sound a little wry. “Better than an old cowboy.”
“Oh, don’t do that. You know the kids think you’re the coolest thing ever.” He was going to pinch Cash if he heard the poor old cowboy routine again.
“Well, Ben came for three summers in a row. Helped me to cut and bring in the hay.”
“He like it?” Brad knew the ultimate decision lay with him and Cash, knew the rest of the kids would wind up loving no matter where they settled as long as they had each other, Cash, and him. But Ben deserved to at least be heard.
“He asked to come back. He made friends with Charlie Gooding—he’s down the road. They spent a lot of time fishing and shit.” Cash grinned over, winked. “They both like this little gal, Sue Ellen Freders.”
“Oh Christ, I am not ready for our kids to be dating.”
“No shit. He’s thirteen. He knows what girls are.”
Brad chuckled, squeezed Cash’s hand. “You’ve got the practical side covered.”
“What’s that mean? Is there another side?”
“Don’t get your panties in a twist, cowboy. I meant you’re down to earth and think of the practical things, that’s all.”
“Cowboys don’t wear panties.”
“No, I seem to remember you didn’t wear anything under those jeans at all.”
Cash’s cheeks went a sweet, deep pink, and shit, that was sexy.
Brad leaned in, eyes on Cash’s mouth. Cash moaned, flicked his tongue out to wet his lips. Brad’s cock jerked at that, going hard in his jeans.
“I can fucking smell you, buddy,” Cash said.
Brad grinned. “You saying I need a shower?” he teased. He knew what Cash meant, but they had to get back inside where they could lock a door before they jumped each other too hard.
“Nope. I’m saying you need me.”
“Yeah, I do. You make me hard, Cash.” He brought their lips together, trying to keep it light and easy for now, trying not to take Cash’s lips like he wanted to.
Cash’s tongue flicked inside his lips, tasting him, teasing him. He groaned, the swing chair creaking as he shifted, and ran his hands up to hold Cash’s shoulders. He slid his tongue against Cash’s. The kiss didn’t go deeper, but Cash kept tasting him, adoring him. It was easy to lose himself in the flow of it, tasting Cash right back, holding on to Cash’s arms so his fingers didn’t stray.
He broke away at the sound of a knock and a throat clearing, and looked up to find Ben watching them with wide eyes. Oh shit. This was not how he’d wanted the kids to find out.
“Hey, Ben. What’s up?” Cash looked over, straightforward as shit.
“I wanted to know if I could go swimming with the guys tomorrow and then to the mall.”
“I don’t see why not.”
Brad cleared his throat and nodded. “Fine by me too.”
“So, are you guys… I mean, I knew that…. But I didn’t think….”
“Ben, man. Breathe.”
Brad nodded and let go of Cash, sitting back and offering Ben a warm smile. “We’ll answer any of your questions, Ben.”
“Are you guys… lovers?”
It was a good question. They’d made love, but was that enough to call them lovers yet? And how much information was past the line of none of Ben’s business? “We’re exploring that possibility, Ben.”
“Why? I mean…. Why guys?”
Brad blew out his breath and pointed to the chair Cash had been sitting in. “Maybe you should sit, yeah?”
“Yeah. Yeah, okay.” Ben looked stressed as hell, lips tight.
“Okay. You knew I was gay. And you knew your uncle Cash was too.” He had no idea how much of this Jack and Val had gone into. “Well, some people are born liking people of the opposite sex and some are born liking people of the same sex. That’s how we’re made, you know? Like being left- or right-handed—you don’t have a choice, you are one or the other.” Brad glanced over at Cash, trying to gauge how well he was doing.
Cash nodded. “This don’t really have anything to do with you, son. Any more than your momma and daddy’s relationship did. One way or the other, y’all have me and your uncle Brad.”
“That’s right. We’ll always be here for you and your brothers and sisters.”
“It was weird, seeing you kiss.”
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Cash snorted. “Yeah, and it was weird seeing your daddy kiss your mom, huh?”
“God, yes.”
“Okay, then.”
“So it’s normal. It being weird, I mean.” Brad rolled his eyes at himself. “You have any more questions, Ben?”
“Is… am I going to be gay, do you think? Since both of you are? What about Bri and Branson?”
“Who knows? There’s statistics that say one kid in three. But other statistics say 10 percent.” Brad shrugged. “You’re not going to ‘become’ gay because we are. And whether you like girls or boys, we’re not going to judge you for that or love you any less.” He gave Ben a smile. “Your uncle Cash told me there was a girl you liked back in Texas.”
“Uncle Cash!” Ben turned bright red, chin to forehead, eyes wide.
“Uh-huh. Pretty little blonde thing, does barrel racing….” Cash looked wicked as fuck.
Brad chuckled. “You got any more questions, Ben?” He figured none of them would be too personal for them to answer at this point, not now that Ben had been teased about the girl he liked.
“Are you going to tell the others? I mean, like Belle, that you two are… dating?”
Brad looked at Cash, totally unsure how to answer that. They hadn’t talked about it. About what to tell the kids.
“Your uncle Brad and I need to work that out between us. Then once we do, we’ll talk to you.”
Ben thought about that for a minute, and then he nodded. “That’s fair.”
“I’m glad you think so.” Cash looked so serious. “You cool?”
Ben met Cash’s eyes and then Brad’s. “I need to know you guys aren’t gonna leave.”
It nearly broke Brad’s heart, how Ben had to look after his younger siblings. So grown up. “We’re not going anywhere, Ben.”
“No matter what, man. You’re stuck with us. I won’t make you cowboy up all alone,” Cash promised.
“Okay. So it’s okay if I go swimming and then out with the guys?”
Brad nodded. “Sure. Just make sure you leave a contact number on the board in the kitchen, okay?”
“Sure, Uncle Brad. We won’t go till lunch time.” Ben stood up, shook his head. “Gay uncles.”
“Hey. Everyone should be so lucky.” Brad gave Ben a wink.