Great Hexpectations, A Paranormal Romance / Urban Fantasy (Dulcie O'Neil Series #3)

by H. P. Mallory

  Bram arched a brow at the mention of Knight but didn’t lose his cool. “I am quite certain the Loki is unscathed, sweet.” A smile pasted itself on his face as he quickly abandoned all thoughts about Knight in favor of subjects more attractive to him. “And as to your rampaging into the ANC office and declaring your guilt; as I mentioned earlier, it would not behoove you.”

  “If I…” I started but was interrupted when Bram shook his head and made a tsking sort of sound.

  “Chaos results from a lack of planning, my dear.”

  “Stop calling me ‘my dear.’ It bugs me.” And that wasn’t all that bugged me. Bram was super annoying when he was right and in this case, I had to admit, he was. I mean, planning always seemed to be a good thing to do in general. And, given the fact that I really had no idea where I was and nor any clue as to the rules of the Netherworld, planning was probably not only important, but paramount to my survival.

  “Very well, my sweet.”

  I sighed. Yes, Bram was right about the whole planning bit but his being right didn’t help my feeling like I was going to throw up. “So, what? I’m just supposed to spontaneously come up with a plan?”

  He nodded but said nothing and I realized how impossible that feat was. I was having a difficult time as it was just trying to talk myself out of passing out, throwing up or erupting into a fit of tears.

  “I can’t even think!” I yelled and, feeling dizzy, I dropped my head into my hands again.

  “Perhaps you would welcome the insight of your guardian then?”

  I glanced up at him, relieved. I’d welcome anything as long as it meant I didn’t have to think for myself. “Yes!”

  He smiled and buffed his nails against his shirt. “If I were in your situation, Dulcie love, I would first appraise what is at stake.”

  “I don’t even know what that means.” I sounded defeated—exhausted, unhappy and completely overwhelmed, which was basically how I felt. I didn’t want word games; I just wanted to be advised of what my next move should be to which I could agree or disagree. I just wanted my life to ease up a little. Really, was that too much to ask for?

  Bram shrugged, his expression said he didn’t understand what I was so conflicted about. “It is best to understand what your punishment would entail before you come valiantly charging in only to find yourself in hot water, which could have been avoided.”

  I shook my head. “I don’t care what my punishment is. I just want to get this off my chest and let justice run its course.”

  “Justice is quite different in the Netherworld than what you are accustomed to in Splendor.”

  I frowned, not imagining my punishment could really be so brutal. “Bram, I’m guilty of allowing Quillan to escape. It’s not like I killed someone or robbed a bank. I wasn’t involved in illegal narcotics. Really, how bad could it be?”

  He chuckled and shook his head at my apparent naiveté. “Famous last words.”

  I stood up and ran my hand through my hair, exasperated not only with the conversation but the whole situation. “What do you propose I do, then?”

  He smiled languidly and took a seat on the bed, focusing on me. His gaze traversed my body, starting with my bust, then traveling southward.

  “I’m not in the mood for sexual innuendo,” I muttered, as I realized exactly what he was proposing. I let out a long sigh and wished I could be anywhere but here. There was so much I needed to do, so much to think about and Bram’s libido wasn’t on my list.

  He brought his eyes to my face but that flirty smile was still in full effect. “I propose we attend the Loki’s hearing, learn what his punishment is.”

  “What if he’s already had his hearing?”

  “At the time we crossed through the portal, such was not the case.”

  I frowned, as my head began to pound from a stress-induced headache. “And how in the hell do you know that? Furthermore, how were you able to find that out?” I mean, shit, I had no idea that Knight hadn’t had his hearing yet and I was much closer to ANC business than Bram was, right?

  “Friends in high places, sweet,” Bram said mechanically.

  I wasn’t in the mood to press him for details. I was too interested in the plan that was currently taking shape in his head because so far, I actually agreed with it. “Okay, so Knight’s hearing hasn’t happened yet and we attend it… What then?” Suddenly, something occurred to me. “What if it’s a closed trial?” That would put a huge damper on our plans if it weren’t a public trial. I wasn’t even sure what we’d do at that point.

  “That would be a regrettable detail.” Bram nodded. “I will leave it up to you to find out whether or not it is open to the public, sweet.”

  I frowned, thinking the answer was as easy as just showing up to the courthouse to see if we could get in. “Bram, all we have to do is find out in person…”

  “No,” he was quick to respond. “It is not a wise idea to risk your safety.”

  “How is that risking my safety?”

  “Until we know what we are facing, it is not wise for the ANC to know you are in the Netherworld.”

  “But my passport,” I started.

  “Was in a fictitious name,” Bram interrupted.

  “Oh,” I said, revealing the fact that I’d been so preoccupied with portals and winged creatures that I hadn’t even glanced at my fake passport. Well, it seemed Bram really had taken care of everything.

  “Your identity is completely safe and hidden and I would prefer to keep it that way.” He eyed me with one raised brow. “In fact, if your magic worked here, I would suggest you magick yourself a new appearance. Unfortunately, however, your magic is useless.”

  Hmm, that was a surprise to say the least. What a bummer this Netherworld was—making my magic utterly useless.

  So back to the subject of the trial; I guess I had some homework where Bram’s plan was concerned. Not a big deal. I could call Dia and find out whether or not the trial was open. I was also pretty sure I could call the ANC here; but as Bram had pointed out, it was better to be as discreet as possible. No reason to take a hot bath, or whatever Bram said. No, Dia would offer the best solution. Somehow, I had to imagine she had contact with the ANC Netherworld and could find out details regarding Knight’s trial in a second. “Okay, what then?”

  Bram smiled again and it was pretty obvious he was impressed with himself. “Once we learn of the Loki’s punishment, we will devise our plan.”

  I frowned. The momentum of Bram’s plan had been building up and then, smack! Right into a wall. “What kind of plan is that? We devise a plan? That isn’t even a plan at all!” I shook my head, feeling like I wanted to cry again. “Seriously? Our plan is to plan?”

  The smile on Bram’s face fell away replaced by straight-lipped irritation. “The point, my sweet, is that the Loki’s punishment might not be at all severe and if not, you should not endanger yourself unnecessarily.”

  And just like that, I felt like we were back to square one. That is, with no plan at all. “Ugh, that is just dumb, Bram. I should have already gone to the ANC and been done with it.”

  He stood up and approached me. “Think about this a moment, Dulcie.” He rarely called me by my name, so this had to mean he was serious. And Bram being serious wasn’t something I witnessed all too often, if ever. “The Loki insinuated himself on your behalf for a reason. He must have believed he would fare better in Netherworld Court than you would.”

  That was true and Knight had said as much when I first learned that he was being brought in for interrogation. “Go on.”

  “Perhaps the Loki is correct. What if his punishment is miniscule compared to what you would incur?

  I gulped. Now he sounded just like Knight. Thinking the Netherworld would be more lenient on him than I, given that I was an ex-ANC junior officer and he was a high-ranking official, Knight took the blame. “Okay, you have a point,” I started. “But what if his punishment isn’t miniscule?”

  Bram shrugged. “Then you
state your case.”

  Any way I looked at it, aside from the “we’ll deal with it when and if it comes” portion of Bram’s “plan,” it seemed to be sound. Actually, it was the only plan I had. Maybe Bram was right and Knight would merely get a slap on the wrist. What if his punishment weren’t really anything serious? Maybe he and Bram were correct; maybe I would fare much worse? But, really, where the line was drawn between a brutal punishment and a slap on the wrist, I had no clue. I had nothing to go by.

  I sighed. “I guess we have a plan.” It came down to the fact that I didn’t have an alternative.

  Bram smiled at my consent before his cheeks flushed and he looked me up and down again, obviously seeking to change the subject. It was almost like he had ADD. He seemed only able to concentrate on weighty matters for so long before hunger for blood or sex took over. His fangs lengthened as I watched him, something that usually happened only when a vampire was sexually excited or hungry. I eyed him suspiciously. “Bram, when was the last time you fed?”

  He inhaled at the mention of feeding and tore his gaze from my bust, finding my eyes again. “It has been a long while, sweet.”

  I swallowed hard. A hungry vampire isn’t something to be taken lightly. Additionally, I’ve never allowed the undead to snack on me and I don’t ever intend to. “Then maybe you should go find a willing donor.”

  He stood up and approached me, as I took a few steps back, finding myself buttressed against a veneered chest of drawers from the fifties. Before I could sidestep, he was directly on me, his hands on each of my thighs. He pushed my legs apart and nestled himself between them. I considered pushing him away and trying to escape but decided against it. Running from a vampire is very similar to running from a bear—you don’t do it. Better to just play dead.

  “Bram, I’m not interested in playing host.”

  He smiled but said nothing, softly brushing my hair behind my neck as my wings danced madly. “What are you…” I started.

  “Shhh, sweet,” he whispered and his breath caused goose bumps along my throat. “In the Netherworld, I do not feed in the manner to which you are accustomed.”

  “What does that mean?” I demanded. “You’re a bloodsucker anyway you look at it.”

  He shook his head, his smile still in full effect. “Not here. Here I feed off energy, not blood.”

  “Energy?” I repeated, sounding like an idiot. “How? What does that even mean?”

  He didn’t respond but placed his hand on my chest, just below my collarbone. He inhaled deeply, closing his eyes as he did so. A slight moan escaped his lips at the same time as another smile broke across his face. He looked like he was in the throes of an orgasm.

  “Bram?” I asked, wondering what the hell was going on. He was feeding; that much was obvious. And I guess it was also pretty obvious that he was feeding off me—tapping into my energy? I didn’t know what to think. Yes, I vowed never to play buffet to the undead, but did this really count? The more I thought about it, the more I concluded it didn’t count.

  “Do you feel anything?” he asked, not bothering to open his eyes.

  I was quiet as I considered his question. There definitely wasn’t any pain. Some weariness, but no particular excitement or ecstasy. I basically felt exactly the same as I had a few minutes ago. “No.”

  He opened his eyes and focused them on me. They were the deepest blue I’d ever seen them, almost black. “Ah, shame.” I watched as the indigo of his eyes dissolved, replaced by pure black, as if his pupils had swallowed his eyes. I tried to pull my gaze from his but felt trapped. And then it hit me.

  Complete ecstasy, a blissful euphoria circulated my entire body, beginning at the spot where Bram’s skin touched mine and arcing out in a pulse throughout my body. It was like cresting on a wave of perpetual delight over and over again. I gasped in shock and found Bram smiling down at me.

  “What did you do to me?” I demanded, my voice breathless.

  “I removed my screen.”

  “Your screen?” I repeated, before closing my eyes and trying to restrain the giddiness that flowed through me. It wasn’t a purely sexual feeling. I mean, that part was certainly there, but it was more like a feeling of unbridled joy throughout my body. It reminded me of how I felt when I was taking the illegal narcotic, Mandrake.

  “I have put up a guard where you are concerned, Dulcie sweet,” Bram continued, bringing his other hand to my shoulder. At his touch, my knees buckled. He grabbed hold of both my arms and pulled me into him, pressing my cheek against his upper chest. I felt my eyelids clench tightly and I could barely handle the feelings of euphoria as they flowed inside me. Had Bram released me, I would definitely have fallen down.

  “Are you feeding on me?” I asked, although I already knew what the answer was.

  “Yes.”

  Somehow the realization that he was feeding off my energy didn’t bother me, or even upset me like I thought it would. Somehow it was something beautiful, something that made me weak in the knees, something I wanted more of. Something that I never wanted to end.

  Bram suddenly pulled away from me and walked me to the bed. He sat me down and let go of my arms, taking a few steps back as if he were afraid I would attack him, demanding more. Who knows, maybe some of his donors did.

  “Do you feel well?” he asked.

  I shook my head, as the remnants of bliss began to leave me and cold, hard reality started to sink in. I glanced up at him, suddenly feeling angry and betrayed, used. “So let me get this straight,” I started, taking a deep breath to regain my balance, but still feeling a little bit wobbly and unsteady. “The reason for your list of demands was to secure your meals?” I mean, it all made sense… The part about sharing a room, touching me whenever he felt like it… If the only way for Bram to feed was by absorbing energy from me, he’d set himself up for that and then some.

  “Very astute of you,” he answered without even the trace of an apology.

  Anger continued to simmer within me as I realized just how self-centered he was. “Bram, have you ever considered just asking for something instead of sneaking around like some subhuman species?”

  Bram chuckled as if he enjoyed being compared to a subhuman species. “Would you have agreed?”

  Hmm, that was a good question. In general, I didn’t like the idea of serving as a snack to any creature but since Bram was my only ticket to the Netherworld, I think I had my answer. “Yes, albeit unhappily.”

  “Very well then, I apologize.”

  I frowned. “It’s too little, too late but never mind; I’ve got information to hunt down.” Namely, whether or not Knight’s trial was public. I glanced at the dial face and cord of the ridiculously old-looking phone beside the bed. “Will this thing call Splendor… I mean Earth Splendor?”

  Bram shrugged. “Your guess is as good as mine. A century ago, the Netherworld had no telephones.”

  I sighed as I reached for my purse, pulling out my cell phone which had no bars displayed. I guess Verizon didn’t work everywhere after all. After I found Dia’s phone number, I picked out the numbers on the dial and turned it after every one. Then I waited until I heard the tinny sound of the phone lines connecting.

  “Dia Robinson, Moon ANC, how may I help?” She obviously didn’t recognize the number, otherwise I would have been greeted with “This is Diva.”

  “Dia, it’s Dulcie.”

  “Girl, where the hell are you calling from and please don’t tell me it’s the Netherworld.”

  I sighed. “The Netherworld.”

  “Unfreakingbelievable!” She laughed, sort of. “How the heck did you pull that off? I never even got back to you about the passport thing. I was hoping you’d forget about this ridiculous mission but not you.” Then she laughed good and hard. “What was I thinking?”

  “Well, needless to say, I took care of it.”

  “I can see that! So how do I help you now, Ms. Nuisance?”

  It was my turn to laugh. “You know I wouldn
’t call you if I didn’t trust you like my own sister?”

  “Yeah, yeah. Stop buttering me up ‘cause I don’t swing that way.”

  I laughed harder and then took a deep breath. “D, I need you to find out if Knight’s trial is open to the public.”

  “You could call and find out yourself.”

  “Yeah, I know but I’m trying to keep as low a profile here as I can.”

  There was silence on the other end. “Sounds like you are, at least, being smart about this. That’s good.” Yeah, and I guessed I owed Bram for the whole “being smart about this” bit. “How is it there, anyway?”

  “Crazy and horrible and if I never come here again, it will be too soon.”

  “That great, huh?”

  I glanced at Bram who checked his watch as if to say I’d been on the phone too long. “Yeah. Well, anyway, I gotta get going. Thanks for your help though. You can call me on this line once you find out about the trial.”

  “Sure thing.”

  “Thanks, D.”

  “Welcome, Dulce. You take care of yourself, girl, you hear me? I want you home in one piece.”

  I sighed. “Thanks, D, I will.”

  We said our goodbyes and I hung up, suddenly feeling homesick and depressed. Yes, I promised her I would stay safe but I had to wonder if I just lied to her without even realizing it.

  #

  As it turned out, Knight’s trial wasn’t closed. And it was scheduled for the very next day which suited my needs perfectly. I was beginning to feel like an anxious mess the longer we waited for the inevitable to happen.

  After I ended my phone call with Dia, Bram took me for a quick dinner in the hotel restaurant. I thought the scenery of the Grosvenor Hotel was something out of the Brady Bunch and the food was no different. I had cheese fondue with Caesar salad, a side of macaroni and cheese and Baked Alaska for dessert. And to drink? Dr. Pepper or Hi-C Hawaiian Punch.