Silas (A Playboy's Lair Novel Book 1)

by S. R. Watson

  “No,” Kassius confesses. “But our friendship was real. Everything—”

  “How could you even say that?” She cuts him off. “Everything you told me about your background was a lie. I let my guard down and told you things when you fed me lies in return. What was the point? I asked Silas if you were one of his paid eyes. I guess since he wasn’t paying you, it was okay to omit the truth. I believe this Jasper woman when she says I was another one of your projects—a game!”

  She sniffles and begins to unbutton her collared work shirt. What the actual fuck? Atticus tries to stop her, but she pushes his hands away. The room looks on, stunned silent. She doesn’t stop until she has the shirt off—wearing only her bra and pants.

  “I quit. At the next port, I want off this fucking ship. Game over.”

  She storms off, and I know better than to chase her right now. Kassius and I both betrayed her, and I have to make this right, but first, I have to get this situation under control.

  “Karma is a wicked bitch,” Tory says as she storms out.

  Jasper just claps again, obviously proud of the havoc she’s caused.

  “Why are you here? I’ll give you two seconds to explain yourself before I kick your conniving ass off my yacht!” I see red and not the kind I get off on. Livid is child’s play at this moment.

  I see Atticus and Kassius backing away to give us privacy. “Get to the bottom of this now!” I growl. “Somebody will be losing their job over this. I want answers by the time I finish here.”

  The two men nod, but they don’t dally. My rage can barely be contained right now. I turn my sights back on Jasper.

  “Answer my goddamn question,” I fume. I’m on her within seconds.

  “Fuck you and your macho bullshit dominance,” she challenges. “I snuck onto this stupid kink ship because I’m still in love with you. I’ve tried to move on, but you’re in every man I see. Even though you played me like you did with those other two women, I foolishly can’t let go.”

  “Are you mad? Or just plain delusional? You fucked us up. I was ready to give my inheritance up for you—all because you thought money defined me. I was willing to give it all up to prove I just wanted you,” I huff. “You told everyone on my campus that day that you just wanted to fuck a college guy because high school guys were lame. You told me I was a pretentious prick and that you were bored with me. I tried for months to get you back—trying to prove how little money mattered. You fucking broke me.”

  She was eighteen and in high school, and I was a twenty-one-year-old junior in college. People thought I was a damn pedophile even though she was of legal age.

  “Are you really going to play the victim here? I know the truth, Silas. Thanks to your stepsister back then.”

  “What are fucking talking about? What truth? Enlighten me please,” I bite out.

  For the first time since this whole debacle, her bitchiness fades. Her shoulder drop in defeat, and her eyes grow weary. She turns away from me, but I can hear the sobbing through her words, the wrack of her chest as they rip through her. Fuck. I can’t deal with all this fucking crying.

  “My mother taught at the private school, yet we didn’t have the money you rich kids had. We barely made ends meet. When your stepsister, Jessica, became my friend, I was suddenly the cool kid. I was in with the popular crowd. Only the joke was on me,” she weeps. “She thought my mother would give her good grades if we were best friends. When that didn’t happen, she enjoyed telling everyone that she got her college brother to pretend to like me to sweeten the deal—that you actually had a girlfriend, and I was your high school pity fuck. I was the butt of everyone’s joke. I dropped out of school, Silas. That scene on your campus was my last-ditch effort at revenge.”

  I’m shocked speechless. Flabbergasted. All this time, we’ve been apart due to a fucking misunderstanding. Jessica was a demonic bitch just like her mother. My father divorced her mother shortly after all that, so I never heard about this until now. Jasper’s sobs are uncontrollably loud now. I want to hold on to the anger that I’m feeling. I want to hate her for setting all this in motion, but this is all starting to make sense. My stepsister’s evil scheme not only derailed someone’s life, but it also ruined what could have possible been for Jasper and me. I can’t ignore what she must have gone through, especially after dropping out of school.

  Reluctantly, but knowing it’s necessary, I go to her and wrap my arms around her from behind. This is all so fucking unfortunate.

  “None of that was true, Jasper. I was madly in love with you. I haven’t been able to have a real relationship since. I tried three years ago, but I doubted her at every turn. I questioned her interest in my money until she finally had enough. This fucking key around my neck that I wear is because of you.”

  I spin her around so she can see the word love written on the key. “It’s a daily reminder to myself to never give anyone my heart again because then I give them the power to break me. You did that to me. You broke my ability to love freely.”

  I leave out the part that I was entertaining removing the key for Brennan. Not because I’m in love with her, but because I wanted a real chance to discover that possibility. I don’t like how Jasper infiltrated my space, but I get why. We’ve both been living with hurt and lies that have kept us from moving on with other people. That ominous feeling that I got before meeting with Tory has come to light. Now I’m unsure again. Jasper’s presence makes me question everything. I have to be sure. I don’t know what I feel right now, and that’s not fair to Brennan. The only thing I am sure of is that I can’t leave things the way they are. She gave me the most beautiful gift, and in turn, I betrayed her with my omissions.

  “I’m sorry, Silas. I should have just talked it out with you. It could have saved us both years of heartache. It’s just, at the time, I was too broken. I still am. It was so believable because why would a rich, gorgeous college guy have any interest in a poor average high school girl unless it was a game like Jessica said. When you bought me things to wear, I thought it was so you wouldn’t be embarrassed by me. I had been spiraling ever since. I work for a good woman now, close to my age, in fact, but I knew I had to find a way to see you again. Even before I knew the truth, I just couldn’t go another day without trying.”

  “You were never average to me, and the money never mattered. When I bought you things, it was because I was trying to be a doting boyfriend. It was how I knew to show you I was falling in love with you.”

  I squeeze her tighter. It saddens me that she was willing to seek me out even when she thought I could be that cruel. It speaks volumes about her self-esteem and what she thinks she deserves. She could also be totally playing me right now. Back to fuck me over for a second time. She said she was a maid now. What if she decided to look me up because now she wants access to my money.

  I don’t want to assume shit because that’s why we’re here now, but I can’t be gullible for love again. So do I even still love her? I’m afraid to answer that question. I need to dig deeper and get answers ASAP. I’m at a fork in the road, and for the first time, I don’t know which path I want to take.

  “So are you going to kick me off your yacht now?” I can feel her respirations falter. She’s holding her breath, at my mercy for an answer.

  I let go my embrace. I just felt that I needed to hug her when she broke down in front of me. A moment of weakness urged me to comfort her. Her recall of that day took me to a place of vulnerability. I need to be objective here. I can’t show my hand … the one that exposes just how unsure I am.

  “I won’t sugarcoat things. I’m more than a little upset by your approach and by the fact you were able to come aboard so easily. I pay handsomely to have my privacy and my safety protected. Not only did you sneak aboard, but you maliciously unraveled relationships I’ve created. You’ve hurt two people who didn’t deserve that ambush by your version of the truth.”

  “What are you saying, Silas? Do you hate me?”

  “G
oddamn, I’m saying your intrusion into my space was enough. You could have come to me and told me all the things you were holding in. Yes, I would have still been pissed, but now, how can I trust your intentions? What do you really want from me?”

  “I fucked up. I was desperate. I am desperate.” She wipes away her renewed tears, finding a seat to sit on before pouring out her story.

  “I never stopped following your life, Silas. I kept tabs on your success and your many appearances in those ritzy magazines. Deep down, I think I realized that maybe I was lied to, but I had to know for sure.” She draws imaginary circles on her thigh with her French tip nails; anything to avoid looking at me.

  “I’m a maid for a young socialite by the name of Ellie Daniels. She was the one who received your coveted invite. We have a good rapport, and she doesn’t treat me like the help. She explained that she had been on your waitlist since you started these cruises. Only she couldn’t accept because she had since gotten engaged and hadn’t shared that part of herself with her fiancé. She knew she would be pushed to the bottom of your list if she declined, so she was more than willing to let me go in her place. I suggested it after I had realized it was your cruise. I accepted on her behalf, used my street hook up to get fake identification with her name, and dyed my hair to look like her as much as I could.”

  “What the hell? Why would this Jessica person go along with that fucked-up plan? I will ban her ass from all my entities and put her on a watch list with my connections as well,” I fume. I’m beyond pissed off now at the amount of deceit that went into this treachery.

  “She has no idea, Silas. I told her that I would respond and ask if the invite could be transferred to me. Only I lied to her—my friend. I saw that invite as a sign; my last chance to see you again. I did what I thought was necessary to ensure that I got on this boat. If I was wrong about that day, you needed to hear from me how sorry I was and how much I still loved you. Haven’t you ever been tempted to do something bat-shit crazy for love?”

  “I need some time to think about all this. I ask that you go back to your cabin and not interact with my guests. I will send for you when I’m ready to talk again.”

  I can’t even look at her right now. If what she says is true, I reserve an inkling of understanding for her desperation. That doesn’t mean I can overlook what she’s done, though. I listen attentively as she gets up and the sound of her heels move toward the door before pausing.

  “I depleted my entire savings to be here, Silas. To dress the part of the role I was playing. You see, it was never about the money for me either. None of it means anything when you have a persistent void and are suffocating in sorrow because the one person you love is potentially moving on with someone else. That was the reason for hurting those two women. They’ve had parts of you that I’ve been suffering for years without. I love you with everything that I am. If you choose to kick me off your boat, I will go knowing that I did everything I could. If you tell Jessica what I did, I will lose a friend and my job. Again, there was no other recourse for me. I played all my cards—all in, for a chance to tell you how I feel.”

  The door opens and closes. I’m stunned speechless once more. My heart rattles around my chest with a familiar tug that I don’t want to welcome. I don’t want to still love her. What the fuck am I going to do?

  Rage still heats my flesh. The fact that I removed my shirt in front of those people is of no consequence. Every single one of them is a stranger—people I hope to never see again—so it doesn’t matter. Was my exit dramatic? You bet your ass it was. I couldn’t bear to wear his company shirt a minute longer. Had I been wearing the company pants instead of my own black slacks, they would have seen my bruised ass too. Lucky for them, I didn’t launder my work pants before I left the boat. Oh and that fucking butt plug was taken out as soon as I made it back to the room. As his cum oozed from my ass, it was like a cleanse. My body ridding itself of the remains of him. He will soon be just a memory.

  I feel like such an idiot. I was played and lied to by two people who had come to mean the world to me. I’m truly alone now. The anniversary of my mother’s death was a little more tolerable because I had Silas as a distraction almost from day one. I hate him. I hate Set … Kassius … whatever the hell his name is. Are people’s feelings really that insignificant when you’re rich? I don’t even know where I’m going to go or how long the money I have saved will last.

  Alone in my cabin, I can finally allow the breakdown that has been on the brink from the moment I overheard Tory and then that Jasper woman. Looking at the two of them, how did I ever stand a chance? I can’t stop the tears that bring me to my knees.

  A knock on my door cuts through my gut-wrenching sobs. I don’t want to talk to anyone on that side of the door. They can all fuck off as far as I’m concerned. I’m holding out judgment for Atticus until I know his role in this twisted game of deception. The knocking gets more persistent, but I don’t budge from my spot on the floor. The telltale beep of a scanned key card has me kneeling with my head on the floor in defeat. I know it’s him without even looking up, and I don’t want to see him.

  “Goddamnit,” he curses. “Brennan, get up!” I don’t move. I don’t speak. I want him gone. “Please, Brennan,” he tries again.

  Still, I remain a mute statue. I sense him hovering over me, getting closer. I scurry closer to the night table near the bed. “Don’t you fucking touch me,” I snap. “You fucking maid collector.”

  I already quit, so I don’t give a shit what I say. He deserves worse.

  “Stop. Surely, you don’t believe the things Jasper said. Yes, I put eyes on you when you first got here. Seems my trust issues are warranted after the shit she pulled to get on this boat, but I never meant to hurt you. Everything between us was real. You made me feel, Brennan. Feelings that have been dormant since Jasper. You made me want to relax my rules with you.”

  “Well, now she’s back, so you can just go live happily ever after with her,” I yell. “Why are you even here? I’m not your employee anymore. I’m nothing to you.”

  “Listen to yourself. You’re using this whole fucked-up situation to run again because that’s what you do. You sabotage things before they even have a chance to be good. The only thing I’m guilty of is not telling you the truth about Kassius and my initial tabs on you. Once he befriended you, I felt that was his truth to tell.”

  “You’re wasting your breath, Mr. Lair. I don’t believe you. Why would a rich man like yourself waste his time on fucking maids? It’s a sick fetish that satisfies your god complex. You fucking drink half million dollar champagne when some of us can’t even afford to buy a camera or a house,” I rant. “You even dress down and wear that stupid key that is worthless considering your millions. It was all an illusion. You appeal to our common ground of simplicity when really it’s just one of your tricks to continue collecting us maids.” I choke on my own tears. I’m winded from unleashing all that fury.

  Even after several seconds of silence, I refuse to look up at him.

  “You have it all figured out, I guess. And all on your own. Nothing else left for me to say. Just know that key that you deem worthless is my daily reminder of this very thing. Thank you for reiterating why it’s necessary.” His voice sound strangled. Different.

  I want to look, but I can’t. Is he crying? Can’t be. “I will grant your wish, Brennan. I will see that you are paid for the entire duration of this cruise. I will have Atticus arrange for my private helicopter to take you back to Florida or wherever you want to go. We’re scheduled to arrive at our next port in two days. He will arrange your departure for then.”

  The finality of his words guts me. There is a physical ache in my chest. Bile bubbles up, threatening to make me vomit. This hurts too badly, and I’m paralyzed to this spot. Somehow, I know I will never be the same again. I anticipated that things would eventually run its course, but not like this.

  “Goodbye, Brennan. I wish you well.” He turns to leave the w
ay he came, and as soon as the door closes, I throw the only thing in my reach. My phone. My last connection to him. It shatters against my cabin door in splintering pieces. He can just deduct it from my check.

  I don’t know how long I lie on the floor before there is another knock on my door. All concept of time escapes me. Just like the last time, I don’t answer. The sun is no longer filtering through the curtains I left open. That’s my only hint that it’s now nighttime. The sound of a key card being entered beeps again, and I intentionally peek up, incorrectly assuming it’s Silas. Wrong. It’s the other Lair—the cousin.

  “Brennan?” Kassius whispers into the dark. Maybe if I don’t answer, he will go away. No such luck. He flicks on the light, and my eyes work to adjust.

  “Ah, hell, Bren!” He stomps toward me, and I can’t cower away fast enough before he has me picked up and placed on my bed. I swat at him like a wild cat backed into a corner. He just lets me hit him, not once restraining my arms. He holds me by the waist and lets me exhaust my frustrations.

  “I hate you,” I cry. “I hate all you.” Especially all the fucking tears I’ve shed today, but I don’t give him the satisfaction of that info.

  “Get it all out. Hit me. Do whatever you need to do. Then we will talk.”

  What fucking nerve! “I’m not talking to you, jackass. I don’t have anything to say to you or your traitor maid-collecting cousin,” I curse.

  His absence of the gay air fuels my anger. It’s as if a complete stranger is in this room with me—or might as well be. I can’t believe I could be so wrong about not only one but two people. I let my guard down. He encouraged me to give Silas a chance, for fuck’s sake. Is this their thing? Tag team the stupid housekeepers.

  I can no longer keep the bile down; it’s no longer just an urge. I tear away from Kassius and run to the toilet with only seconds to spare. I end up dry heaving because my stomach is empty since I missed dinner.