by Naomi Niles
“Lizzie …when I said I wanted to spend the night with you … I wasn’t talking about just one night,” Dylan said, his voice was gentle and serious. “I was talking about every night after this. And yes, I understand you’re pregnant with another man’s child but like I said … I don’t care. I guess I realized that what I want for my future doesn’t revolve around a place or a career: it revolves around you.
“I want to be with you, Lizzie … I’ve loved you since I was twelve years old and I don’t think I’ve ever stopped. I think we have a real chance of making it work this time. I’ve grown up since then and I know what is most important in life and I’m never going to take it for granted again. I want to stay with you, I want to raise this child with you, and I want to build a life with you. I love you, Lizzie Miller; I’ve always loved you and I’m never going to stop.”
I listened intently but I could barely believe the words that were coming out of his mouth. It seemed unbelievable to me.
“Lizzie,” his voice was tainted with uncertainty.
I took a deep breath and opened the bathroom door. He smiled but I could tell he was still not sure what to do. He wasn’t sure how I had taken his speech.
“You want to raise this child with me?” I asked.
“Yes,” he said without missing a beat.
“Why?”
“Why?” he repeated.
“Is it because you feel … honor bound in some way to protect me; is this just a case of ‘I’ll marry you because the man who knocked you up wouldn’t?’”
“Of course not,” he said passionately. “I’m not trying to protect your honor or save you in any way. I want to be with you for purely selfish reasons. I want to be with you because I’ve realized that it is the only way I can be happy.”
“You told me you weren’t ready to get married just yet,” I reminded him. “You told me you weren’t ready to have children.”
“What the hell do I know?” Dylan said. “I’ve made so many mistakes I can’t even keep count of them anymore. But I won’t let you get away again. I love you and that means I love the child you’re carrying. I’m not saying I’m going to be a perfect father, but I’m sure as hell gonna try.”
I felt my face break out into an uncontrollable smile. “You really want to be with me despite everything?”
“Of course,” Dylan said breathlessly. “Of course—”
I jumped into his arms mid-sentence and he grabbed me just in time. I hugged him hard and he kissed the top of my head. I pulled back a little to look at his face. “You’re serious,” I said in amazement.
“I am a thousand percent serious,” Dylan laughed.
“I love you, Dylan,” I cried and instantly I felt a hundred pounds lighter. It felt almost as though I was floating.
“I love you,” he replied, looking me in the eye. “You’re going to have to help me, I don’t know how the process of adoption works; do we need to wait till the baby is born or can I apply for adoption right now?”
“You … want to adopt my baby?” I asked.
“I don’t want to be the step-father,” Dylan said passionately. “As far as I’m concerned, that child is mine.”
I smiled at him and shook my head in amazement.
“What?” he asked looking puzzled.
I felt my eyes watering up but I swallowed hard and powered through. “I have something to tell you, Dylan,” I started slowly.
“Go ahead,” he nodded without letting go of me.
“You don’t have to file for adoption,” I said.
“You don’t want me to?” Dylan asked and I saw the crease of hurt in his brows.
“No it’s not that,” I assured him. “You don’t have to file for adoption because … the baby is yours. There was no other guy … there was no one-night stand. I lied.”
Dylan took a shocked step back. “I’m… the father?”
“Yes,” I said. “You’re the father. There was never anyone but you.”
“Why …”
“I didn’t want you to feel trapped,” I said trying to keep my tears in check. “I didn’t want you to feel like you had to stay in Bastrop and marry me because of the baby. I wanted you to have the choice. I wanted you to be with me for me.”
Dylan looked shell-shocked. He stared at me for a long time and for a moment I thought he was angry. But then he took a step towards me and placed his hand on my small protruding belly. “You’re carrying my baby?”
I nodded.
His face split open in a wide smile that was pure, unadulterated joy. “I knew it,” he said and I laughed out loud. He grabbed me again and kissed me hard on the lips. I felt myself melt into him, ready to feel him inside me again. I felt his hands slip underneath my blouse as he gently pushed me back onto the bed.
He pulled off my blouse and unhooked my bra. I felt a moment of self-consciousness and then it melted away as I looked into his clear, blue eyes. He explored my new body, cupping my fuller breasts gently and running his fingers over the small bump of my belly. He pulled my pants off slowly, deliberately, and then undressed as I lay in bed waiting for him.
He eased himself on top of me so that his whole weight was not resting on my body and kissed me until I was wet and ready for him. Our hands were entwined together over my head as he slid inside me. He was gentle, careful, and thoughtful but there was urgency in the way he kissed me and squeezed my hand that told me the depth of his desire for me.
He made love to me twice that night in several different positions and each time I felt our bond solidify, as though we were finally cementing our commitment to one another. We were agreeing to do it right this time, not just for ourselves but also for our child. It wasn’t just the two of us anymore. We were a family now.
For the first time in over a decade, I felt whole.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Elizabeth
One Month Later
I had just finished organizing the last catalogue of books when Jenna walked in. “You’re really starting to show,” she said as she glanced at my swelling belly.
“Yeah,” I nodded patting my stomach. “It really popped out this past month.”
“I can’t believe I’m not going to see the little cutie,” Jenna said as she eyed my fingers searching for a ring. “You must send me pictures.”
“I’ll try,” I smiled politely even though I knew that our friendship was not built to last.
“Is your hunky baby daddy coming to pick you up today?” Jenna asked.
“No, Maddie’s my date today,” I said. “She’s helping me pack up.”
“Speaking of dates,” Jenna said making a random connection. “Do you have one set up yet?”
“A date?” I asked pretending to be oblivious even though I knew where she was going.
“For the wedding,” Jenna said with a wink.
“Ah, right,” I nodded. “Well, when we get engaged we’ll have to figure that out.”
“Oh,” Jenna said and her eyes went wide. “You’re not engaged yet?”
“No,” I said with a shrug. “And we don’t feel the pressure to get engaged either. It’ll happen when it’s meant to.”
Jenna was about to say something when Maddie walked in. “Hi,” I greeted. “You’re right on time.”
“You’re finished?” Maddie asked giving Jenna a polite nod.
“Yup,” I said with gusto. I gave Jenna a hug and Maddie and I walked back to the parking lot.
“How was your last day of work?” Maddie asked as she turned on the engine.
“I guess it didn’t feel like my last day of work,” I said. “It’ll feel weird tomorrow when I get up and there’s no place to go.”
Maddie laughed. “Don’t worry, the packing will keep you busy.”
“Oh, guess what?” I said with excitement.
“What?”
“I got an acceptance letter today from the University of San Diego!”
“No way!” Maddie screamed. “That was your fi
rst choice wasn’t it?”
“Second,” I replied. “But I’m not griping. I’m happy with that choice.”
“Does that mean …?”
“That’s my pick,” I nodded. “Dylan was with me when I opened the letter. We did a happy dance around all the boxes and crates.”
Maddie laughed. “Lizzie, that is really great. Are you excited?”
“Unbelievably excited,” I nodded. “I’m only doing a few summer courses to begin with, though. Once the baby is born, I’ll see about going half time. By then we’ll be settled in California too.”
“I still can’t quite believe that you’re leaving though,” Maddie said shaking her head. “I mean, we’ve lived together our whole lives.”
“I know,” I nodded. “It’s going to be weird for me too. But moving is the right thing for us; we need a fresh start in a new city. And Cali is so beautiful.”
“I don’t get why you’re leaving so soon though,” Maddie said. “Why not wait till the baby is born?”
“We just want to start on this new adventure as soon as possible,” I tried to explain. “And the sooner we get there, the sooner Dylan can start setting the groundwork for the rehab center. I don’t know … we just want to dive right in, I guess. We’ve both wasted enough time.”
Maddie smiled with understanding.
“You’re going to visit right?” Maddie asked.
“Of course we’re going to visit,” I promised. “We’re going to be down in Bastrop every Christmas. And we want the baby to know its family.”
“It,” Maddie said shaking her head.
I laughed. “We don’t know if it’s a girl or a boy yet.”
“Well find out,” Maddie said impatiently and I knew how curious she was to find out the baby’s sex.
“Sorry,” I said shaking my head. “Dylan and I want to wait.”
“Urgh,” Maddie said impatiently. “When I have a baby, I’m going to find out the moment I can.”
I raised my eyebrows teasingly. “This baby is going to be with whom exactly?”
Maddie rolled her eyes but I noticed the slight blush on her cheeks. “We’re not there yet,” she said firmly.
“But you’re thinking about it?”
“We’re thinking about moving in together,” Maddie said. “But that’s about it for now.”
“Slow and steady,” I nodded approvingly.
“You know that’s not advice you have to listen to at this point, right?” Maddie pointed out.
“Meaning?”
“Why aren’t you guys getting engaged?”
“We’re moving to California!” I said. “I’m going back to school and Dylan’s trying to start up the center, not to mention we’re going to have this baby … we don’t have time to plan a wedding right now.”
“Fair enough,” Maddie nodded. “But it will happen, won’t it?”
“For sure,” I nodded. “Maybe not right away though.”
We pulled up outside my apartment building and Maddie and I went in. My apartment was almost unrecognizable. Boxes were everywhere, most were packed up and sealed, but there were a few half-empty ones that needed to be finished before Dylan showed up.
“Where’s Elvis?” Maddie asked.
“Probably hiding in my room,” I said. “He hates the boxes.”
“When’s Dylan getting here?” Maddie asked as we got to work.
“He should be here in an hour or so,” I replied. “He’s going to drop in at his mom’s and then pick up the U-Haul and drive it over here.”
“How did you enjoy your farewell dinner last night?” Maddie asked.
I smiled at the memory. It had been an intimate dinner with Dylan’s family, Maddie, and my mom. “You guys went overboard; I’m still full.”
Maddie laughed. “I tried to get Mrs. Thomas to tone it down, but she was too excited.”
“Louisa,” I reminded Maddie. “She doesn’t want us to call her Mrs. Thomas anymore.”
“Right, Louisa,” Maddie corrected herself. “So weird …”
“What is?” I asked.
“I don’t know, just how everything worked out. You and Dylan are finally together after all these years and you’re going to have a baby.”
“And you Tyler,” I pointed out. “Hey, we might end up related; if you marry Tyler, we’ll be sisters-in-law and our children will be cousins.”
Maddie laughed. “You’re getting ahead of yourself.”
“I know,” I nodded. “It’s just fun to day dream.”
Maddie finished packing the last box and she handed me a piled of papers that sat atop it. “What are these?” she asked as she handed them over.
“My music,” I said. “I’ve been working on some new arrangements. I’ll pack them in my carryon bag.”
I took a felt pen and went around the apartment marking each box. “Wow,” she said. “You’re really giving all these boxes to goodwill?”
“Yeah, I don’t need everything,” I replied. “And we want to travel as light as possible.”
“What exactly are you taking?”
“Just a few pieces of furniture, clothes, my keyboard, and Dylan’s bike,” I replied.
“I’m impressed,” Maddie said with raised eyebrows. “You two really planned this well.”
“It’s been a busy month,” I nodded.
At that moment, there was a loud honk and I knew Dylan was here. I peered out the window and waved at him. “Great,” I said. “He’s brought Tyler along; that’ll make moving this stuff out there easier.”
The boys came up a moment later and Dylan came straight for me. He gave me a kiss and placed his hand on my belly; it had become an instinctive reflex with him. “How are you feeling?”
“Great,” I said honestly.
He gave me another kiss and then Tyler and he started moving the heavier boxes out of the apartment. Within a half hour, the space had opened up. I went to my room and got Elvis out from underneath my bed. I put him in his little kitty carrier and Maddie and I did one last check to make sure we hadn’t left anything important behind.
“You’re sure you don’t mind getting the boxes to goodwill?”
“Not at all,” Maddie said as we stepped out of the apartment.
We joined the boys downstairs and hauled the last of the boxes onto the U-Haul. “Where does the cat go?” Tyler asked teasingly.
“I think I’ll keep him in the front with Dylan and I,” I said. “Otherwise he’ll get pissy.”
I was staring up at my apartment window, amazed at how life could so easily turn on a dime when Dylan came up behind me and wrapped his arms around me. I loved when he did that; it made me feel safe and protected. He kissed my cheek and then my neck. I turned in his arms so I was facing him and we kissed deeply.
“Geez guys,” Tyler’s voice cut through our little moment. “Get a room.”
We broke apart laughing and I realized that Maddie and Tyler were shaking their heads at us. Maddie looked amused and Tyler just looked uncomfortable. I walked towards Maddie and gave her a big bear hug. “I’m going to miss you like crazy!” I said.
“I’m going to miss you too,” she nodded. “Especially our Saturday morning breakfasts; it really is the end of an era.”
“Don’t say that,” I said. “It’s not the end… it’s just the beginning of a new era.”
“All right,” Maddie conceded as she winked at me.
It was strange to think I wouldn’t be seeing Maddie every day anymore. She had been a constant presence in my life, more so than my own parents. It was a bittersweet goodbye but I wasn’t heartsick because I knew we were both in good places. We had our own lives and that needed to be the main focus. I contented myself with the knowledge that our friendship would always be there.
I hugged Tyler and Maddie one more time and then Dylan helped me into the U-Haul. I waved vigorously as Dylan started driving away. I waved until we turned the corner and lost sight of Maddie and Tyler.
“Are yo
u ok?” Dylan asked as he reached out and took my hand.
“I’m fine,” I nodded. “I’m better than fine actually. I’m with you.”
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Dylan
We had been driving for only about an hour and a half when I took an exit and turned left on the highway.
“Where are you going?” Lizzie asked frowning as she looked around in confusion.
“You don’t recognize where we are?” I asked.
She seemed to concentrate a little harder and then I saw realization dawn. “The graffiti wall!” I exclaimed. “When did we last come here?”
“My parents took a bunch of us out here in our seventh year,” I said.
“That’s right,” Lizzie nodded. “Oh my God … that was over fifteen years ago.”
“Do you remember what we did?”
“There was a lake out here wasn’t there?” Lizzie asked. “Close to the graffiti wall?”
“A few miles west,” I replied as I turned into the parking lot and turned off the engine. “Are you up for a short walk?”
“Sure,” Lizzie nodded as she smiled brightly. She changed out Elvis’s water, gave him a consolation scratch and then I helped her out of the U-Haul.
Her body had blossomed in the last month. She finally looked pregnant, but if you didn’t look directly at her stomach you wouldn’t know it. She was lean and trim and the only slight difference I could see was a slight fullness about her face. Still, it looked natural on her; it made her seem younger somehow.
“Gosh the graffiti wall,” Lizzie said as we walked towards it. “I can’t believe it’s been so long.”
“Do you remember it?”
“Of course I remember it,” she said and her eyes went warm with the memory. “How could I ever forget?”
“I was so excited the night before,” I told her. “I didn’t sleep because I knew we were taking the trip and you were coming.”
“You sat next to me in the van,” Lizzie said fondly. “And you shared your chips with me.”
“That was a big deal,” I teased. “I never share chips with anyone.”