by Naomi Niles
Lizzie laughed and slipped her hand into mine. We turned the corner and saw it squeezed in between large rock formations. It was so much smaller than my memory of it but that was to be expected. It was a colorful wall, filled with amazing graffiti that comprised of random names, poetry, and amazingly detailed images.
“We wrote our names on the wall,” Lizzie said in excitement as she ran straight to the wall. “I think it was the bottom right hand corner.”
“Here,” I said spotting Lizzie’s name first. “Here we are.”
My name was just next to Lizzie’s and right above Maddie’s. It was like a picture postcard of our childhood and a promise of the future to come. I stared at the sight of it. It was like my life had been categorized into parts. There were the Lizzie years; the Navy years and now the enlightenment era which found me back in Lizzie’s arms.
Lizzie was staring at the wall in delight. “This is amazing,” she said. “I never thought I’d be here again.”
“Do you remember what happened after we wrote our names here?” I asked.
She looked at me for a moment and then it hit her. “You took my hand and pulled me around to the other side,” she said. As she said the words, she grabbed my hand and pulled me around to the other side where the rock formations for more and more elaborate. “And when we were alone … you kissed me.”
“Our first kiss,” I smiled. “I didn’t know if I would have the courage to go through with it …”
“What made you do it?” Lizzie asked.
“I knew I couldn’t pass up the opportunity,” I admitted. “And I knew that if I didn’t do it, I would always regret it.”
“You knew that at thirteen?” Lizzie asked in amusement.
“I did,” I nodded. “Do you remember what happened after I kissed you?”
Lizzie’s smile got wider. “We carved our names into the stone,” she said turning around searchingly. “Just yours and mine.” She was so engrossed in the search that she didn’t notice what I was doing at all. “I found it,” she said excitedly. “Dylan … I found our names.”
When I didn’t respond she turned back to look at me and then she froze in place. She turned her whole body to face me as I lay on one knee waiting for her patiently.
“What are you doing?” she asked with a small smile.
I reached into my trouser pocket and took out the little, Tiffany box. “I have a gift and a question for you,” I said.
Lizzie broke out into a smiling laugh that lit up her entire face. She came towards me and cupped my face in her hands. “I thought we were going to wait,” she said and I knew she was close to happy tears. “There’s so much going on already.”
“To hell with waiting,” I said passionately. “I’m tired of waiting; life is not made for people who wait. I love you. You are the only woman I have ever loved and you’re the only woman I will ever love. Marry me.”
Her eyes were bright and blue and shining with tears that held my reflection. She could have said a million different things in that moment. She could have told me she loved me, kissed me, and asked me to promise her a million different things, but she didn’t. She stared into my eyes and said the one simple phrase that was more important than any other words she could have said in that moment.
“Yes, Dylan,” she said. “I will marry you.”
Epilogue
Eight Months Later
Elizabeth
I couldn’t help but take a peek out the window. The lake looked pristine and just underneath the shade of the oaks I could see the simple white arch that had been placed a few feet from the banks of the lake. I could see the pattern of ivy and lilacs that had been woven through it. The flowers looked like they were dancing every time the wind brushed past.
I turned from the window and moved towards the full-length mirror that had been set up just for me. I stared at my reflection, slightly in awe of my own appearance. The dress I had chosen was a simple, silk sheath that billowed slightly at the train. The tiny cap sleeves comprised of intricate lace detail and a few seed pearls woven throughout. The back of the dress featured a deep neckline with lace overlay.
My hair had been brushed to a glossy sheen and it was draped around my shoulders without any adornments. My makeup was pared back, too, with coal accents on my eyes, blush, and nude lipstick to finish off the look. I had opted out of wearing a veil; I wanted everything to be as simple as possible. For the first time that day, I felt like a bride.
At that moment, the door opened and Louisa walked in. She was wearing a silver dress with a matching dress coat and I could tell that she was happy. I was still getting used to calling her by her first name. Somehow it didn’t feel comfortable yet.
“Hi,” I smiled.
“Oh, Lizzie,” she sighed. “You look perfect.”
“Thank you.”
“Where’s my grandson?”
“He’s sleeping,” I said gesturing towards the little cot next to the bed. “Thank you for taking him last night.”
“Of course,” Louisa nodded. “You needed your beauty sleep.”
We both moved towards the crib at the same time. Daniel was sleeping face up with his chubby, little hands in fists on either side of his head. His hair was a deep brown like Dylan’s, but I knew that the blue of his eyes were closer in color to mine.
“He’s a handsome fellow, isn’t he?” Louisa said fondly.
“He is,” I nodded. “He takes after his father in that way.”
“I would say he’s a pretty good mix of both his parents,” Louisa said gently. She looked towards me and took my hand. “I’m so happy that you and Dylan decided to have the wedding in Bastrop and to get married here, in our home.”
“It was the only place either one of us would even consider,” I said. “It’s our home.”
“I only wish that Derek had been alive to see this,” Louisa said with a catch in her voice. “And to meet his grandson.”
“I wish that too,” I nodded squeezing her hand. “Dylan and I tell Daniel stories about his grandfather all the time.”
Louisa smiled affectionately. “I have a few stories I could share with Daniel too.”
Maddie interrupted us as she walked in. She was wearing a lilac, wrap dress and she had white peonies in her hair. Daniel stirred in his sleep and then his eyes blinked open irritably.
“Hey,” Maddie said when she saw us. “It’s almost time.”
I nodded to her as Daniel let out a little cry. I reached for him immediately. He clung to me, but a few short seconds later, he quietened down. He looked at me intently as though he could barely recognize me.
“Hi, little man,” I said as I rocked him back and forth. “I know mama looks a little different today; I look different to me too.”
Maddie came forward and ran her fingers through Daniel’s soft, brown hair. “He is such a little cutie,” she sighed. “He’s enough to make a girl start thinking things.”
I winked at Maddie as Louisa extended her arms to take Daniel. “I’ll get him dressed and bring him down,” she said. “Why don’t you take a moment before Maddie brings you down?”
I sat down on the bed and Maddie came to sit beside me. “How are you feeling?” she asked.
I laughed. “Is it crazy that I actually feel a little nervous?”
Maddie smiled. “A little … especially considering how perfect you and Dylan are together. I mean seriously, that boy is amazing.”
“He really is isn’t he?” I nodded. “He’s made these last few months so easy on me. He changes diapers, he gets up for the three a.m. feedings, he sings to Daniel every night before bed, and he still manages to make me feel like the most precious thing in the world.”
“That’s how you know you’ve got a good one.”
“I didn’t really need the proof though,” I said. “I knew that years ago.”
“Does that mean you’re ready?” Maddie asked with raised eyebrows.
I smiled excitedly and took a deep brea
th. “I am ready.”
We walked down the stairs where my parents were waiting to walk me down the aisle. Maddie gave me a kiss on the cheek and then rushed off in the direction of the lake. My parents kissed me on the forehead and then I heard the music start up.
With another deep breath, I started walking with my father on one arm and my mother on the other. There were no more than twenty people sitting in front of the arch but I couldn’t focus on anyone or anything. All my nerves melted away as my eyes fell on the man standing just underneath the arch.
Dylan looked so handsome that I forgot about everything else. His black tuxedo made him look like he had stepped out of a James Bond film. He came forward and extended his hand to me in a gesture that conveyed more than it appeared. We stood opposite one another under the arch with our hands joined and our eyes fixed firmly on one another.
I didn’t hear the priest’s words. All I was aware of was Dylan’s blue eyes fixed firmly on mine. The only words that did register were the ones I had been waiting for this whole time.
“I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride.”
Dylan pulled me to him forcefully and kissed me so hard that I felt that kiss all the way down to my toes. I heard the small gathering erupt into laughter and applause but Dylan didn’t let go of me.
“We did it, Lizzie,” Dylan whispered to me. “We made it.”
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PHYSICAL
By Erin Wes
This book is a work of fiction. The names, characters, places and incidents are products of the writer's imagination or have been used fictitiously and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, actual events, locales or organizations is entirely coincidental.
Copyright © 2016 Erin Wes
CHAPTER ONE
KYLE
The headache was always the same. It would just hit me out of nowhere. Today I was sitting at my desk trying to finish up some paperwork before my sister showed up to take me to the doctor. She was insisting on going with me like I’m twelve. I didn’t want to go and I didn’t want her to go with me…until once again the crushing pain descended down on me. It pulsed like a slow heartbeat and each time the veins dilated and the blood rushed through, it brought with it a new wave of pain, each one worse than the last. I couldn’t sit still… I had to get up and pace from one end of the room to the other and back again. It was so intense that I honestly looked at the big glass window behind me and for just a second, I thought about shoving my head through it. I know that doesn’t make any sense, but nothing does when the pain is this bad.
As I paced up and down, my vision got blurry as my eyes began to burn and pour water out of them. I was at least grateful that I was at work when it happened and not out driving to a job. It hit me once on the I-635 on my way out to a jobsite. There was nowhere to stop until I got off the freeway and the whole time, I was clutching the wheel with one hand and wiping the water out of my eyes with the other. It was one of those situations where you just know: this is it, I’m fucking dying right here on the 635. I just knew that I was going to die. It had been just my luck that my sister was joining me on the jobsite that day. I work for her husband, Michael. He and I are both architects, and he owns his own business in Dallas. Sarah is a stay-at-home mom most of the time, but when we’re short-handed and one of us needs an assistant, she fills in. I was forty-five minutes late that day and she called and texted me four times before I got there. The last time, I finally answered, and when she asked me where I was…I literally had no clue. I’d gotten off the freeway and pulled onto some side street in a residential area and paced up and down the street. Luckily, no one called the cops. I told Sarah about the headache while I was still recovering and in a vulnerable state – that’s why I have the doctor’s appointment today.
When I’m smack dab in the middle of the pain, going to the doctor sounds like a fine idea. But once it’s gone and my thoughts clear, I change my mind. Sarah knows me too well. She grew up looking after my stubborn Native American dad and me. She actually called the doctor and handed me the phone. Then, she stood there and listened. When she heard them try to give me an appointment for next week, she said, “He can’t wait that long!” So rather than deal with my sister, who can be quite pushy, they got me in this afternoon. Right now, this fucking pain is so bad that it can’t be soon enough.
“Hey, Kyle!” The sound of my brother-in-law Michael’s booming voice ripped through me like a knife to the skull.
“Shh! Too loud,” I whispered, holding my head in my hands.
“What the hell is wrong with you? You look like hell. Are you crying?”
“My head!”
“Okay…”
“It hurts.”
“Damn, man! Sit down. You’re pale as a ghost. You look like you’re gonna pass out.”
“Can’t…can’t sit still.”
“Fuck! I’m calling Sarah-”
“No!” I pushed it out through my gritted teeth. “Don’t call her. I have a – an – I’m going to the circus…fuck, I mean the doctor.”
“Yeah, you’re going to the circus alright – in an ambulance.” He pulled out his phone and I stared at him. I wanted to tell him no again, but I couldn’t remember about what. What is his name? Fuck! Why can’t I think?
“Yes, my name is Michael Penner. I need an ambulance sent to 546 Amon Carter Blvd. It’s the Penner/Styles building and we’re on the third floor…I’m not sure. He said his head hurts, but he’s white as a ghost and he’s saying crazy things…no, he’s not mentally ill. No! He doesn’t have a weapon. He’s not threatening anyone. Shit! He’s sick, isn’t that what ambulances are for? Okay…thank you.”
I could hear everything he was saying, but the words were like bouncing around inside my skull. They wouldn’t settle down long enough for me to grab hold and make sense of them. I kept moving though. Somehow, that made me feel better. My sister’s husband is back on the phone. Why the fuck can’t I remember his name? What the hell is wrong with me? “Sarah, something is really wrong with Kyle….Yes, it’s a headache again, but this one is different…He’s pacing all over the place…He won’t sit down…He’s not making sense, Sarah. I’m not putting him on the phone. I called an ambulance.”
I felt myself falling, but I forgot that I was supposed to put my hands out. The last thing I saw was the desk right before my already aching head slammed into it.
*******
My eyes felt heavy, like they were taped shut. I had this panicked feeling in my chest like I was going to be late for something and I needed to wake up. I pulled at them and I tried to lift my arms so I could rub the sleep out of them. My arms wouldn’t move, I felt like I was tied down. The panic in my chest got worse and I suddenly felt like I couldn’t breathe. An alarm was going off. I thought it was mine, until I heard Sarah’s voice.
“Nurse! His oxygen sats are falling again!” She’s yelling…my fucking head hurts. Why is she yelling? She’s calling for a nurse. Did I go to the doctor? “Nurse!”
“Calm down, Sarah, she’s coming.” My dad…Shit…if Dad’s here, it’s a lot worse than a doctor’s appointment. Fuck! Another sharp pain raced through my skull.
“He could suffocate by the time they drag their lazy asses in here!” That’s my sister – always looking out for me. I waited for the pain to pass and tried my eyes again. The screeching alarm had stopped, at least, and I felt like I got a good breath in. I felt the air hit my left eye as the lid fluttered up slightly…and then the right one. Everything was blurry, but they were open, kind of. I was looking out through watery slits. It was like I was underwater and staring up at everything. There were machines and tubes hanging up over my head. I tried to turn slightly, but that was a mistake. That brought back the pain and that fucking loud alarm again – and Sarah’s scre
eching.
“I’m right here, Mrs. Penner.” That one was unfamiliar. It must be the nurse Sarah keeps yelling about. The alarm stopped and the pain began to subside. I cracked my eyes open and to see the watery outline of a middle-aged woman’s face looking down at me. “Well, look at that, you’re awake. Can you hear me, Mr. Cloud?”
“Kyle!” Oh Jesus, Sarah stop yelling! I blinked my eyes, trying to clear them, and I felt someone wipe the edges of them with a towel or something. I was able to focus them slightly. Sarah’s face was there now on the other side. She looked like she’s been crying. There’s Dad now leaning in over her. Maybe I’m on my deathbed. “Kyle, can you hear us?”
I’d have to be deaf not to. I tried to say it out loud, but for some reason, the words came out all jumbled up. They were more like random sounds. Sarah looked at the nurse, and I heard the older woman say, “Don’t worry honey, he’s still medicated. This is normal after brain surgery.”
Brain surgery? What the fuck? I’m dreaming. That’s what this is. It’s a weird, bad dream. Sometimes when I finally fall asleep after the headaches, I have weird dreams. This has to be one of them. I tried to move my head again. If this was a dream, I should be able to do that… My head didn’t move, but a strange sound came out of my chest. “Kyle, honey are you in pain?” Sarah again. Yes…I’m in pain. Once again I tried to form the words, but even to my own ears, they sounded like some weird foreign language. What the hell is wrong with me?
“I can give him another dose of morphine, and then I’m going to let Dr. Grant know he’s waking up.”
Morphine? I must definitely be on my deathbed. They’re giving me the good shit. “Kyle, can you blink if you can hear me?” Sarah again. She just can’t let anything go. I closed my eyes. It felt so good that I almost went back to sleep and left it at that…but Sarah was waiting. I opened them again. That time it was a little easier. Sarah was still above me. I think she’s crying. Dad, too. I wonder if I should pray or something.