by Naomi Niles
“Aren’t you ever going back?” Elsa asked me, and I paused before I nodded and gave her a smile. “After you’re done here?” Another nod.
“I’m twenty-six, but there’s a lot of life in those years.” She was only beginning, and I gazed at her across the car for a long moment. “You’re so refreshing to me, Elsa. You’re only beginning and so full of life.” I wanted to tell her that I wished I could see her live it all out, but I looked away and forced my hands to my side as I watched cars slowly pull in and park.
“I think you’re the refreshing one, Aidan.” She brought back to the harsh reality, and I watched my life flash before my eyes as I closed them and leaned my head back. “I think that you brought me to life that morning.”
“I believe that they’re opening soon. Want to do some shopping?” I asked her, and she nodded. “Is that charged or do you want to leave it in the car?” Elsa looked confused, and I smiled and took it from her for a quick look. “I think it needs to be plugged into a wall for a few hours, and you’ll be all set.” I tucked the phone under the seat after I unplugged it to keep the car secure.
“Okay,” she replied as she pretended to understand what I’d just said. I chuckled and got out to walk to her side of the car and open her door. Elsa seemed to be getting used to that, and she smiled at me as she got out of the car and took in the groups of people that were walking towards the stores with a curious gaze. I wasn’t a regular enough to know a lot about any particular store, but I watched as girls her age went into individual shops over others as she took it all in with a wide-eyed gaze. Elsa would stop here and there in front of a store and then she looked at me at what I recognized as one of the most popular stores for women her age. “I think I want to go inside.”
I watched as the girls that worked inside gathered around her and listened to her talk about her adventure. They asked her favorite colors and soon they were bringing her one dress after the other to try on, along with some skirts and jeans with some shirts. I knew that it was a discount price here, but it wouldn’t have mattered if it wasn’t since she looked so happy. “Aidan?” Elsa called, and all of the girls looked at me with interest as I only saw her. “Help me?”
I walked through the crowd and stood beside her as she held several hangers and stared at me with a need that I’d never known. I took some of them from her and looked towards the back where the fitting rooms were located. “Let’s do this.”
I took a seat as she disappeared into the room and started to try on the clothes. The first dress was a paisley pattern that fitted her tightly and showed me her lean body with just enough curves to make her one of the most beautiful women that I’d ever seen. It was short, just down to her lower thighs and it cupped her breasts just right as I forced my face to remain neutral. This was going to be a long day.
I told her that it looked great on her and the blue in the pattern brought out her eyes. She gave me a broad smile and danced back into the dressing room to try something else on. Every dress looked better on her, and the jeans fit her gorgeous ass perfectly as she spun around to show me the shirt that she was wearing. There were longer skirts and even shorter ones than the first dress. Everything was stylish and not too revealing though she still managed to look incredibly sexy to me.
As many women as I’d dated, nobody had ever struck me like this woman did.
It was a black skirt that did me in with the way that it clung to her ass and thighs. I didn’t know what she was wearing with it, but I excused myself to use the restroom since she had some help from the girls that worked there.
I walked into the room and leaned against the counter as I looked in the mirror. To someone like Elsa, I look fine, but I knew that others that know me well wouldn’t agree. I wondered how long that I had left as I went over the day in my mind and the death sentence less than a year rang in my mind from my visit to the doctor four months ago.
I’d decided that day not to pursue treatment against my family’s wishes. They told me that I was too young only to give up but at that point, I’d seen too much to want to go on any longer. Cancer that I had made it something of a case of voluntary suicide, according to some. I had gone with the plan of planning this trip for a month, just some time to myself to visit some of the most meaningful women in my life and to give us both a little closure before I was gone.
I thought that was all that it would be, but life had bigger plans for me.
I had been angry when the car broke down in front of that farm at the time. It slowed down my trip in my eyes, and that was the only way that I was going to see it until Elsa walked into the dining room for supper that evening. Was it only a mere few days ago?
Even in her conservative dress, she lit up the room like no other women ever had, or could do again. I saw her fire and her compassion in her melting cerulean eyes, and I’d never forget her laugh.
Here, in the clothes that I’d watched her try on, she was radiant. Sexy. I looked down as my body ignored my silent plea not to react to her but those long legs of hers in those skirts and dresses was almost too much to take. The way the shirts clung to her petite frame drove me crazy, and I rinsed off my hands with water as I urged my erection to go down and away.
Not only was my company enjoyable, but I wanted her more than I’ve ever wanted anyone in my life. I knew that she was too innocent to treat like I had the women in my past and that she needed to ease into rumspringa, not dive in head first. I knew that I would show her the best first time that she’d ever know, but that needed to be on her terms. She needed time, though I hoped deep inside that it wasn’t going to be too much longer.
I splashed my face with some cold water before I returned to the store to find her in a pretty pink sundress that clung to her shoulders and breasts while it fell to her lower thighs and reminded myself again that she needed time. The girls had a generous stack of clothing behind the counter, and it angered me that Elsa looked guilty and ashamed about the fact that I was buying them.
I’d do anything to take that look out of her eyes, and I pulled out my credit card and told the raven-haired girl behind the counter to ring all of it up. I did it with defiance in some ways like she’d shown me in the car right after she got in and told me to take her to the electronics store.
I could see that the women in the store found it appealing by the way that they stared at me and nudged one another, but the only person that mattered to me was Elsa. I watched as they folded the items and placed them in bags before handing them to me and I looked into her face once the transaction was completed.
I saw the tears there and watched as she took a couple of the bags from my hands before she thanked the staff in a soft voice and walked out. The last thing I heard was that one of them would happily be Amish if it was me they got to run away with, and I rolled my eyes. They had nothing on my lovely Elsa.
We walked around to a few other stores where I insisted on getting her some shoes to match her new clothes, and I even talked her into a makeover at one of the cosmetic stores.
It was fun to see her be so spoiled, though I watched the girl like a hawk to make sure that she didn’t make Elsa look cheap. They merely highlighted her eyes with some light liner and mascara along with some foundation that matched her beautiful pale skin. The darker plum toned gloss gave her just enough shine and color to take my breath away before I considered kissing it right off of her tempting lips.
“She’d like one of everything that you used,” I spoke up as Elsa gave me another horrified look.
“No, Aidan. That’s too much,” she protested as the Blonde that applied the cosmetics nodded and smiled. Her name was Rachel, and she was kind to Elsa as she complimented her again and again.
“She looks so pretty. I agree,” Rachel told me as Elsa looked back into the mirror. She was still my sweet and currently innocent girl but even more dangerous to me and possibly herself at this moment. I knew that I was starting to head into a dangerous place with this woman, but I didn’t and cou
ldn’t stop at this point.
CHAPTER 9
Elsa
We left the center with so many bags that Aidan insisted on buying me some luggage to keep it all in. I couldn’t believe his generosity, and I hoped that I didn't cost him too much money as he happily bought more stuff.
I appreciated that he let me shop for my under things in private even though the women in the store suggested naughty things in black lace and even something called vinyl. I’d never been so embarrassed as I selected some cotton underwear and bras along with a couple in lace that I thought were gorgeous. It was all very conservative and me in my eyes, though I wondered what it would be like for Aidan to undress me and see the lace against my body. Would he like me that way? The women that sold him the stuff already bagged at my insistence were so much curvier than me and they exuded that sexual confidence that I lacked. They flirted heavily with him though I had to credit Aidan for paying and leaving without any reaction.
Adam was gorgeous, and he could bed any woman that he wanted, and here he was spoiling a girl like me.
We decided to go to some of the outdoor sights before we hit a bar and I smiled at his protective ways. I didn’t have to be home anytime soon, so I gave him that luxury as we placed the bags securely into the trunk before leaving. I knew that I might lose some of my inhibitions once I drank alcohol and the idea embarrassed me assuming that he didn’t want me that way. “Thank you again,” I told him in a shy voice as he opened my door for me. “I hope I’m not too much for you.”
He seemed to flush for a moment before he gave me his winning lopsided smile that I sensed a lot of people didn’t get to see. “It was worth it so see you having so much fun while looking so beautiful. I’ve never enjoyed shopping like that before.” I slipped into my seat and looked at myself in the mirror again. I seemed like a different person, and I touched my flawless with careful hands as I stared wordlessly at the reflection of the side mirror on the car. “Want to go see one of the monuments with me?”
“I’d love that,” I agreed as he started the car and backed up to get to the main road.
I played back my day as we drove and it was overwhelming to think of what all Aidan had done for me. I never expected that, but he seemed very concerned with my being comfortable and I thought to myself how lucky I was to have someone like him with me for this journey.
I opened my mouth and started talking as I wondered what had come over me. I told him about when I was first born and growing up in the community that I always felt like I wanted something just a little more. I did school through eighth grade and loved learning the entire time. I even tried to read when I could to the best of my ability but it seemed like I was so busy after school came to an end. Life was all about the farm after that, and while I loved helping Mama plant the garden and Daddy take care of the animals from time to time, I always knew that there was more out there. Rumspringa was something that I’d always known about and expected, but it was so much better than I’d expected.
In my head, I’d be with friends in the community and hanging out in the city close to home. This was so much better, and I looked over to see Aidan staring at me at a stoplight as I smiled at him. I looked down at the lovely pink material of my dress and felt my skin burning with his gaze all over again.
We found a parking place at the park and started walking over the grass that took us to the various locations to stop and learn about history.
I loved history and listened closely as Aidan told me all about General Robert E Lee and how he took his Army of Northern Virginia here back in June of 1863. Abraham Lincoln had been the president in those days, and he delivered one of his most famous speeches at the time. I knew little about politics outside of my Amish community, and I soaked in every morsel of information.
It was a complicated mess, and I felt saddened when Aidan told me that over forty thousand men had died in this battle, and there was something in his tone that made me stop and look at him as he stared over the grass to the hills far beyond us. “You’ve lost people.” It was a statement more than a question.
“I have, yes.” He was quiet when he answered before he started to presume to talk some more about my life.
I told him the customs that I loved about the Amish life, such as the singing at church. It wasn’t a weekly occasion, but it sounded so nice to me with all of the voices rising together in the room. The religion itself could be overbearing to me though I appreciated the fact that we were safe there. Safe had just started to feel less comfortable as time went on for me, though admittedly I never thought I’d leave the way that I did.
I told him that we didn’t speak English to one another all that often and instead we used what was called Pennsylvania Dutch. It was more German than anything, but I was happy that Mama used English with me a lot of the time so that I’d be comfortable in town on the rare occasion that we went there. Daddy almost always used German at home out working on the farm, and I was comfortable with both languages.
When I’d ask Aidan anything, I sensed that he’d deflect the question and return to my life. It both flattered me and disturbed me all at once. I wanted to know more about him, and he didn’t want to tell me too much at all. I wondered again what he was hiding.
We’d kept walking and seeing the various statues and even old cannons that scared me as I hesitantly touched them.
We wandered into the gift shop, and I paid for some postcards with different pictures of the area when Aidan was across the store from me. These were a treasure as any photograph was frowned upon in the Amish community.
There was a pond just outside of the shop, and Aidan purchased some food to give to the ducks outside. I laughed with glee as they’d swim over to me, eat and then go right back to where they were until I tossed more food into the water. Some of the ducks even came out and acted as if they would eat from our hands, though I avoided that. I’d been harmed by animals since I was a little girl and I always chose to be careful around them.
I noticed our surroundings as we continued to feed the animals. Aidan showed confidence in a rough way and it didn’t go unnoticed. Everything that he did seemed to have a purpose, and I realized how many women looked at him with something dark in their eyes before I’d turn my gaze down to the ground.
I knew I looked different in this dress with this makeup on my face, but that didn’t mean that I wasn’t insecure. Boys didn’t look at girls in the Amish community the way that everyone out here did, and I felt uncomfortable at times. I stopped feeding the ducks and turned down his offer for any more food before I went to sit down on a bench and just watch him as he spoke to the swimming ducks and tried to draw them close to him.
I watched as he turned and walked over to me with that smile that I loved before he offered me his hand and led me over to the cemetery that we could see in the distance. I’d only held his hand at my table that one time, but it was so warm and comforting to me. Alone with him today, I felt like my skin positively caught on fire. He held on tightly to me where our hands were joined, and I realized that a part of me never wanted to stop feeling this way as I looked at him to meet his eyes.
I’d already admitted that I didn’t know what I would do when Rumspringa was over, but I’d never spoken out loud about what I was beginning to feel for him.
We walked around the cemetery, and I sensed the sadness there as I looked over the perfect rows of headstones. I think that Aidan picked up on my feelings as he led me to a bench and sat down quietly to look over the land.
CHAPTER 10
Aidan
I was taking all of this: the place, the feelings and for me, the reminders of the war. Seeing where so many men had been killed hit home with me and it wasn’t hard to tell that it affected Elsa as well. I held her hand tightly in mine as I looked over at her to see her staring at me with a wistful smile. “What’s that for?” I asked her as I tried to lighten the mood and get back to a better place for the sake of both of us.
“Thank you f
or bringing me here,” her soft voice made me feel better as I smiled back and nodded.
“I have always wanted to see this place. To be honest, if I hadn’t stopped in Pennsylvania at all, I don’t think I would’ve ever thought about it.” Aidan was honest. There was a lot about Pennsylvania that had surprised him, and he became aware of people walking towards them, given that they were in a popular tourist spot. I imagined for a moment being alone with Elsa as I squeezed her hand slowly and securely.
I glanced around to see mostly families looking around the area as the wind blew the hot summer air around.
A couple of guys younger than me but older than Elsa walked by as her skirt started to blow up before she managed to brush it down with a shy smile. I heard them whistle at her as she began to smile in their direction but I knew that she didn’t hear the crude suggestion from the man on the right as my eyes narrowed and I dropped her hand with a quick movement.
I stood as they kept walking with quiet chuckles and reached for one blindly before my hand wrapped around his throat. I threw him down to the walkway with one hard shove and stepped forward as I asked him what the fuck he said that to her for. “Leave him alone, man. He was just kidding.” I heard his friend say in fear as I stared down the guy before me. “Let him go.”
“Aidan?” Elsa asked in a hesitant voice as I blinked for a second. I was down on the cement before I knew it, punching the guy in the jaw before his friend was pulling at me as I screamed at him to stop. At that moment, they were both gone, and I rocked on my heels before I stood up and heard Elsa behind me. “Aidan? Are you okay?”
I turned to see the guys running towards the parking lot as she threw her arms around my neck with a nervous giggle. “I'm all right, Elsa. Those guys just said something that wasn’t proper for a lady like yourself.”