by Naomi Niles
“I’ve never seen such a thing,” she told me as something filled her eyes, and she was hugging me tightly. “Where did you learn to fight like that? The boys in my community would never do such a thing for any girl.”
“I just had some training when I was younger,” I assured her as my voice hitched and I pulled her closer to my body. She was all soft and heat, and I hated that she would someday see the evil side of the world away from what she knew. I hated that some man would say something like what he’d mumbled to his friend with a laugh and that she would be touched like a man like that.
I had been that man in the past, and I knew that I didn’t deserve her to be in my arms right now. I didn’t deserve her any more than they did but I knew that I wasn’t going ever to want to let her go.
I wanted to take her back home somewhere deep inside and give her right back to her family, where she would be safe. My breath caught in my throat as I held on tighter to her and tried to regain my composure. “Aidan, are you okay?”
“I just can’t stand men like that.”
“Nothing happened, Aidan. They just whistled at me. That’s never happened to me, you know.” Her voice sounded surprised and delighted, and I found myself smiling into her hair before I kissed the top of her head gently. “Am I pretty?”
“Pretty? You’re beautiful, Elsa,” I assured her as I pulled slowly away and looked down at her. I had been worried that some of the tourists might call the cops when the scuffle happened since I’d been hell bent on killing the guy, but everything seemed to be working out in my favor. “Let’s walk back to the car. We can get that drink that you’ve been wanting.” I knew that I needed something for myself at this point since fury was rushing through my veins as I stared into her innocent face. I knew that I needed to get out of here and find another place before I calmed down and I cupped her face as I looked at her. “Are you sure that you want to be out in this world?”
“I have always wanted to be out in this world, and so far, I haven’t seen anything that scares me enough to go running back. I only see something that makes me want to stay longer.” Elsa told me as my eyes widened and I blinked slowly. She didn’t know that I could be worse for her than anything in this world, and I dropped my hands down before I took hers again and started to walk towards the car.
We seemed to ease back into the jokes and the laughter as we walked and I began to forget all about what had happened. I looked at her giggling at something as I realized that I would not always be here to protect her and that Elsa might be just fine. Maybe she’d find someone to love and protect her the way that she deserved.
I took in her curls that lay messily around her shoulder and blew in the soft wind. I took in the pretty pink dress that clung to her body, a body that deserved all of the whistles in the world but nothing negative from anybody that would hurt her. I took in the way she bounced when she walked, unaware of so much that was happening around her. I wanted to protect her from everything as we walked and talked about all of the little things that she saw around us and on this trip. Elsa was like a child that made me see everything just a little differently for a moment, and I laughed as I realized how much I needed that.
Had I been here with anyone else, I might not enjoy it like I had today.
We continued to walk as the people passed us and we slowly blended back into the crowd as much as a woman like Elsa could do. She didn’t see it, but she was radiant compared to everyone else and color in a black and white world. She was color in my world, one that had been so dark for so long until now.
I just wished that it wasn’t too late.
CHAPTER 11
Elsa
He took me slowly to the car as I wondered what had happened back there. I’d only heard the whistle and smiled at them in surprise before Aidan was up and had thrown the guy onto the ground. It was scary to watch but exciting for me to see someone doing something like that for me. I knew that Daddy and Adam would protect me but not the way that Aidan did, not the way that he just seemed so natural to it. There was something different about this man, and it wasn’t just that he wasn’t Amish.
Aidan was different. I felt so much more attracted to him now that I’d seen him do that for me, and I stared at him in the car as we drove to a bar that he’d noticed near the hotel. He looked at me as he parked and went inside of the bar before he led me to a table in the corner near a window. I watched as Aidan walked up to the bar and leaned against it as he ordered our drinks, and I blushed as my eyes dropped down to where his pants fit him so well as I felt something stirring inside of me.
I was also very nervous. I watched as Aidan walked over to us and set a large glass of something amber in front of me with a smile. “I figured we should start with something basic, being that it’s your first drink.”
Drinking had always been frowned upon at home. I’d never been tempted by the idea since it was so forbidden and I licked my lips nervously as I watched him sit down across from me with something in a small glass. “What’s that?”
“This is strong,” he told me before he tilted his head back and drank it all down.
I pulled my glass closer to me as I told myself that this was a regular part of Rumspringa. Everybody drank and tested the waters, and I frowned as I looked at the window and saw a familiar figure pass by as I stood up. “Adam?”
I pushed my way through the door and looked to the left and the right for my brother. I sweat that was him, but there was no possible way he’d leave the farm, was there? Adam had done all of this and more and chosen the Amish life. He was going to be married soon, and there was no reason for him to be spying on me. I didn’t see Adam or anyone else that looked like him now, and I leaned against the building as I took a deep breath.
I was scared now, and I took a deep breath before I walked back into the bar and sat across the table from Aidan. “Are you okay?”
“I think I saw my brother, Adam. I can’t believe that he would follow me here. He’d have to have a car, and Adam chose the farm.” My hands shook as I looked at him. “He’s always been protective of me, but I didn’t think…I mean, I saw the way he looked at you but, I didn’t think he had this in him.” I stared at the glass and shook my head. “I don’t want that yet. I have a lot to think about before I do that.”
I watched as Aidan sipped what he’d told me was beer and frowned. “My family is everything to me. In some ways, we’re all that we have, and I love them. Life is just so…dull, though. I wake up early and make breakfast with Mama, and we all work on the farm. I help with the gardening and making the food and the laundry while Adam spends a lot of time with Daddy in the barn and doing the harder work. I am always with them apart from church or when we visit another family. Even then, it’s dull.” I stared at him. “My brother didn’t tell me about his rumspringa. My older friends didn’t say much because we were never alone long enough for that and I don’t know what I’m supposed to do versus what I’m not expected to do. I feel a little lost right now, and I just need not feel that way.”
I looked at him as he watched me with an intent gaze on his handsome face. “Tell me about you. Tell me about dating. I need to hear something funny right now.”
Aidan smiled and leaned back as he took another draw from the beer. “Dating can be disastrous, but it’s also got the chance of being everything that you’ve ever wanted for just a little bit of time.”
“How many girlfriends have you had?” I asked him and watched as his face fell serious for a long moment.
“I haven’t had a lot of serious relationships, but my first girlfriend was this girl in high school. I played football you see, and she was a cheerleader, which was as natural as the sun setting. She was a cute girl, but she always wanted to party and would you believe it if I told you that she trashed my Mama’s house one night when she was gone for the weekend?” He laughed and shook his head. “She was fit to be tied, and I was grounded for a month, in which time the cheerleader found another boyfriend and d
id the same to him. I dated a smart girl after that, and she looked a little like you. She was sweet enough, but I broke her heart.” As Adam went on, I realized how many women he’d been with and how little I knew about any of that. Aidan talked about a girl that he met when he was gone the first time in another country that he spent the weekend with as well as another one that he met somewhere else. Aidan had a lot of experience, and I knew that it wasn’t just sex. I could see in his eyes that he’d felt strongly for some of the women and had his own heart broken and in fact, a part of him was broken now.
Aidan laughed and joked as he kept telling me story after story and I laughed with him as he softened this detail and smoothed that one out. It was all lighthearted and fun and meant to amuse me, and he did that even as he charmed me further. “How old were you the first time you…you know?” I asked, and he cleared his throat.
“I was fourteen. She was an older girl that lived down the street, and we lasted just a few weeks.” Aidan admitted as I nodded and he looked carefully at me. “You’ve never done anything, have you?”
“It’s forbidden before marriage. You are the first man that I’ve touched in any way, apart from hugging Daddy or Adam.” It sounded so bleak compared to his life, but something shone in his eyes as he looked back at me.
“Do you want to wait until you’re married?” He asked as he leaned closer to me and I licked my lips. I shook my head. ‘No?”
“That’s one thing I want from this. I need to know what it’s like before I make my final choice in life, regardless if I go back or not.” I laughed and shook my head a bit. “That sounds silly, considering that I didn’t have even one sip of that drink, but it’s the truth. There're so many things that I need to know about life.” I stared at him. “You’ve lived life, Aidan. I can see it in your eyes. I’m jealous of that.”
“I was jealous of the peace that you had in your life. I sensed it the moment that my car broke down there that there was a stillness that I’d never known.” Adam told me as I frowned at him. “I saw how close your family was, even as your brother tried to act tough around me and your father gave me the warning looks that I’ve seen before. Not a lot of fathers want me around their daughters, and I saw it the most in him, but I don’t think that he sees you. I don’t believe that he understands you and how vibrant that you are.”
“Amish people aren’t vibrant,” I told him as I smiled. “The women all dress that same in one muted color or another. They do their work, and they don’t complain about anything. I have never seen a man react the way that you did back there, and I don’t even know what they said.”
“He said something that he wanted to do to you, Elsa. He said something crude and vile and I never want you to hear that kind of talk. Hell, if you’d been on your own, I don’t know what would’ve happened to you.” Aidan said as his eyes went wild and I saw something start to snap inside of him. “I don’t blame your brother if he did follow you, Elsa. I would do the same thing if you tried to leave me.”
“You would?” He nodded.
“I am not leaving you during this time. Not unless you want me to,” I assured him as he rested his head in his hands.
CHAPTER 12
Aidan
I saw the look in her eyes when she thought that she saw Adam and came back to me defeated. I partly agreed with her brother if he was here, yet I also wanted them to leave her be and let Elsa live her life.
“What do you want to do the most during this time?” I asked as I leaned closer and stared into her bright eyes.
A man came to our house once, a few years back. He was a salesperson trying to sell vacuums to us, of all people. I swear that Mama wanted one, but we turned him away, and after he was gone, I found a magazine outside of the door. I took it and went into the barn, and there were pictures of places inside of it. I fell in love with The Grand Canyon that day and New York City. They’re so big and so different and I think I’d get lost there, but I want to see it.” Elsa told me as a smile crossed my face.
“Do you want to do that on this trip? We can see both places and fulfill your dreams, Elsa. I want to show you everything that I can.”
“We could go there?” She asked, and I nodded.
“It’s just a drive away. We could do the other things that I’d planned and do that as well.” I assured her as she nibbled on her full lip.
“When do you need to be back for work?” Elsa asked me as I brushed my hand across the table.
“Don’t worry about that. I have some time off.”
“I’d love to do that with you. It sounds perfect.” Elsa told me and I felt the smile on my face. I started to tell her about the sunset over the canyon and the water that ran through it so far on the bottom. I told her about the hikes that you could take there and about the class walkway that you could see through.
“I could take pictures. I could have the memories forever, and I could buy every postcard that I could find. I don’t know if people do that but I will. I’ll hide it if I go back and never lose the memories. Tell me about New York.”
I told her about the cabs and the crazy streets. Elsa’s eyes lit up as I told her about taking the boat and seeing the Statue of Liberty and she bounced in her seat as I tried to ignore the movement of her breasts with the movement. “I want to see that. I want to see those big buildings and go to the top of that famous one. What is it called again?”
“The Empire State building?” She nodded. “You can see everything from that, Elsa. I can get a picture of you with the city as a backdrop, and it’ll be so gorgeous. I can get one of you in Times Square with all of the signs and the lights. It’ll blow your mind with all of the lights there that never go off. The restaurants never close. It never stops moving, never stops beating. It’s everything that you home is not and I can’t wait for you to see it all.”
“I never thought I’d do this, Aidan. I thought I might go into a few other cities but New York? The Grand Canyon?” She looked a little scared, and I reached across the table to hold her hand as she watched me quietly.
“All of it. It’s okay, Elsa. I am going to take the best care of you, and you’ll never get hurt.” I knew that it was a lie because I would hurt her once this was over and done with but she would be safe with me. I thought about the phone that he’d bought me and the clothes and the luggage, and I nodded.
“Can I drive the car?” I laughed as she asked me that and promised her that I would teach her somewhere quiet and safe. That car was everything to me, and all that I had left of Joe but I trusted her with it. It turned me on to think about her behind the wheel with the windows down and the wind blowing through her hair as she laughed and took control of more than just the car.
“You’ll never want to drive another car again,” I told her and she gave me a sad smile.
“I know. I might never drive again after that at all. If I go home, I’ll be sitting in the buggy as we drive the horse to town.” Elsa told me as I frowned. “If I don’t go back, I’ve seen other cars. They don’t look like that one. I know that it’s an honor to drive it.”
“Damn right it is. That car is like my baby.” I said, and she looked out of the window at the yellow car. “It means more to me than I could ever explain.”
“I can see that. I watched you clean it that night, and you paid attention to every detail. It was fascinating to me. Where did you get this car?”
“It belonged to a friend…no, he was more like a brother to me.” I admitted as she smiled.
“That’s part of the pain in your eyes?”
“Pain?” She nodded.
“I am sheltered and quiet and from a strange place but I still see things in people. I see that something has hurt you a lot in your life, and I’d like to help you.” Elsa told me as my phone chimed on the table between us. She glanced down, and her eyes darkened as she pushed it my way. I tore my eyes away from her to see a woman’s body with a red lace bra that left little to the imagination and some tiny matching underwear.
The message attached asked if I was coming over soon and I felt myself deflate as Elsa stared down at the table. “Is that what helps you, Aidan? Is that woman going to make you happy? Do you even want to do this with me?” Elsa stood and went to the bar as she asked for something and I stared at her before I looked down at the phone. Chloe. She’d been a fling that I had a few m months back, and I mentioned that I might be passing through town again.
Her timing could not be worse, and I wished that Elsa understood that this picture did nothing for me, not the way that she did. Elsa covered up was a million times better than Chloe practically naked, and I longed to taste her sweet lips as I stared across the room at her. Elsa turned to face me as she walked back to the table and I looked at the glass in her hand. “Soda?”
“I’ve never had it,” Elsa admitted in a quiet voice as she used the straw to poke at the cherry. She tasted the end as my body strained against my pants and smiled. “It’s sweet.”
I watched her sip it as her face changed before me. “What is that?”
“It’s called carbonation. It’ll make you burp.” She stared at me in surprise.
“Burp?”
“You’ve never done that?” I asked, and she shook her head. “You feel it in your stomach, and it just comes up. It feels great.”
Elsa sipped the soda again and seemed to think more about it this time.
“So we’re going to do this?”
I nodded. “If that’s what you want, then yes. I want to do this with you.” I wanted to do so much more with her, but I didn’t say that as we sat at the table. “Want to try a hamburger? I think I’m hungry.”
“After that breakfast? It was enormous.” Elsa asked, and I chuckled.
“Growing boy,” I reminded her before I waved over a waitress and placed an order for a bacon cheeseburger. “It’s juicy and messy, and when you dip the fries in ketchup, there is nothing better. I love cheeseburgers.”