Providence p-1

by Jamie McGuire

  Jared’s eyes popped open. “I don’t want you to leave. I’m asking you to wait.”

  “Wait for what?”I grimaced. Jared had a knack for confusing me.

  “Leave this one alone. For now.”

  “What’s going on, Jared?”

  “I promise to explain everything to you soon. But I’m just not ready to—,” he squirmed uncomfortably, “—can you wait?”

  “If that’s what you want.”

  Jared’s face instantly relaxed. “Thank you.”

  “Can I ask just one thing?” I whispered, peeking up at the clouds reforming in Jared’s eyes. “I just…was wondering…will you ever have to leave me? For training, I mean.”

  Jared smiled once again, obviously relieved at my question. “No. I’m finished with my training. I’m afraid you’re stuck with me.”

  “Poor me,” I teased.

  I pulled myself back to lean against the headboard and Jared lay on his stomach beside me. He hugged my legs to him and rested his head on my lap, and I happily ran my fingers through his damp hair.

  “Are you running a fever?” I asked.

  Jared looked up at me, puzzled. “I don’t get sick, Nina, remember?”

  “I know, but you…you’re burning up,” I said, feeling his forehead.

  “I run a little hotter than everyone else. It’s a constant thing.”

  “How much hotter?” I asked, skeptical.

  “Around one-oh-four usually. I just got out of the shower, so I’m probably a little higher than that at the moment.”

  I stared at him blankly; I had nothing else to say.

  Jared chuckled at my speechlessness and let his head rest against my leg again. “It’s really not a big deal. Claire runs about the same. It has to do with how our bodies handle the extra…abilities.”

  “Abilities….” I repeated. Most of the time I had a handle on Jared being half-angel, but only when I tried not to think about it. The details made my head spin.

  “I can’t imagine how it must be for you,” he said. “It’s hard enough getting to know someone when you start dating, and then you have to deal with your boyfriend spouting off unbelievable particulars all of the time.”

  “Oh, it’s boyfriend, now, is it?”

  Jared laughed and sat up, readying himself to pounce.

  My mouth hung open, feigning shock. “Don’t you dare!”

  He grabbed my legs and pulled, sliding me underneath him. He playfully pinched my sides, tickling me as my laughter chimed through the loft.

  “Okay! Okay. Boyfriend it is,” I giggled again.

  Jared sighed in contentment at my words. “Everything I’ve ever wanted is right here in my arms.”

  I couldn’t imagine why he looked at me that way. Six billion people in the world, and a man so perfect he was also half divine had chosen me. That fact alone was more than I deserved, but for him to say something so beautiful with that look in his eyes, I couldn’t help myself.

  “I love you, Jared.” It didn’t seem like enough, but once the words tumbled from my mouth, his smile turned into pure elation, as if I’d given him the one thing he’d wanted his entire life. Before I could think to say anything else, his lips were on mine.

  He kissed me differently this time; it was gentle, almost cautious. I wrapped both of my arms around his neck as he continued to work his warm lips softly against mine. He put so much emotion in these small, slow, tender kisses that I found myself fighting tears. He kissed me like a happy ending.

  And then he stopped.

  In one smooth movement, he moved me to my proper place in the bed. He crawled over me carefully, lying directly behind me, tracing my body with his. I took a deep breath and let out a satisfied humming sound that compelled Jared to pull me closer.

  Just before I drifted off to sleep, I said the first prayer I’d uttered since I was girl. I wasn’t sure what I’d done to deserve such a wonderful gift, and I wasn’t sure if it was insolent, but I thanked God for fallen angels.

  Chapter Ten

  Fate

  Over the next few days, we settled into a comfortable routine. Jared took me to school, returned to sit with me at lunch, and then waited outside my last class. At night, I studied while he worked out, and I became quite accustomed to falling asleep in his arms. Each time he dressed my wound a sense of dread came over me; the healing cut meant that our nights together were numbered.

  The girls at our regular lunch table became quite taken with Jared, while the boys tried their best to ignore him. The lines were clearly drawn. Lisa even invited Jared to a tentative girls’ night out, to which Jared only replied with a raised eyebrow, causing those who were paying attention to laugh.

  I noticed Ryan being careful to speak only to me, making a point to ignore anything Jared contributed to the conversation. By Thursday, the tension at the table had elevated.

  “Are you coming to study group tonight or not?” Ryan asked, clearly in a bad mood.

  “I’m not sure what the plans are tonight.”

  Jared looked at me and began to speak, but Ryan cut him off. “What? You need permission?” he snapped.

  I glared at him. “It’s called being courteous. You should try it.”

  Jared lightly touched my knee to keep me calm. It wasn’t working; Ryan couldn’t be more proficient at getting under my skin.

  “Just because I’m not happy about how weird you’ve been, doesn’t mean I’m being a jerk,” he said, his eyes narrowing.

  “You said it, not me.”

  “You’ve moved in with this guy,” he motioned to Jared, “you don’t talk to your friends anymore, you’re skipping out on study group…I’m doing what friends do, Nina. I’m making sure you’re okay.”

  “She called me last night,” Beth said defensively. Ryan ignored her.

  I could feel the heat radiating from my face. “You’re not being a friend. You’re being aggressively nosy.”

  Ryan rolled his eyes. “Are you coming to study group or not?”

  “I’m coming,” I growled.

  Ryan’s demeanor immediately changed. “So, you wanna grab something to eat after?”

  I felt Jared’s hand tense around my knee.

  “Not funny, Ryan,” Kim scolded.

  Ryan continued to look at me expectantly. Everyone at the table watched for my — and Jared’s — reaction.

  “Jared is picking me up afterward. We have dinner plans,” I said, glaring at him.

  “I thought you said you didn’t know what your plans were,” Ryan goaded.

  I leaned forward in my chair, taking in a sufficient breath to unleash my temper across the table.

  Jared finally spoke, “We have dinner plans every night, Ryan. You’re welcome to join us.” I shot Jared a surprised look and noticed that his face was free of any sarcasm.

  Ryan’s eyebrows furrowed, taken off guard by Jared’s sincere invitation. “I think I’ll pass.”

  I smiled smugly at him, turning my attention to Jared. “Are you ready?”

  “I am,” he said, leaning over to kiss my forehead.

  Lisa and Carrie swooned.

  At the door of my classroom, Jared set my bag on the floor beside me, pulling up the handle.

  “Thank you,” I said, giving him a quick peck.

  “I assume you’ll be hanging around here until study group.”

  “You assume correctly,” I nodded.

  “Call me when you’re finishing up, I’ll pick you up at the Rock.”

  I grimaced. “It’s ridiculous that you have to sit outside and wait on me. Why don’t you just come?”

  “Nina, it’s what I’ve done for the last three years. You need to spend time with your friends or they’re going to start worrying about you.”

  “Ryan is the only one that’s worried, and he’s just being difficult,” I said, running my hand over the sleeve of his jacket.

  “He’s jealous.”

  I wrinkled my nose. “We’re just friends.”

/>   Jared smiled and kissed the top of my hair. “I’ll see you later, then.”

  As soon as class was over, I headed directly for Andrews. The sun was shining, and I was just beginning to enjoy my walk when Ryan appeared beside me.

  “Hey,” he said.

  “Hi,” I said, less than enthusiastic about his company.

  “Oh. c’mon. You’re not that mad,” he teased, throwing his arm over my shoulder and squeezing.

  I squirmed from his embrace. “You tried to humiliate me in front of everyone, Ryan. What was the point in that?”

  “I told you what the point was. I’m worried about you.”

  I breathed out a sarcastic laugh. I was never safer than when I was with Jared.

  “Nina…,” he said, slowing down. Before I could get too far ahead of him, he jerked me back by my coat sleeve to where he stood. “Nina!”

  “What?” I growled, trying not to trip over my bag. I jerked my arm from his grip and smoothed out my sleeve.

  “You have to admit you’ve been MIA this week. What’s going on with you? You barely know this guy.”

  I fidgeted as I tried to think of a believable answer. I knew it appeared that way to him — and everyone else — but I couldn’t defend myself with the truth.

  “I didn’t move in with him. My hand is infected, so he’s changing the dressing every night. As soon as it heals I’ll be back at Andrews.” I couldn’t help but frown at the thought.

  “He could do that at Andrews,” Ryan argued.

  Of course he was right, but Jared and I both knew it had been a flimsy excuse all along. I didn’t like the thought of him spending the night in his Escalade outside Andrews, and Jared was more than ready to make the present living arrangement permanent. Neither of which I could explain to Ryan.

  “What is your problem?” I asked, continuing to the dorm.

  Ryan shoved his hands in his pockets, following close behind. “I just think you’re getting in way too deep, way too fast. You need to take a step back. Slow down. You just met this guy and you’re acting like an old married couple. You have other friends.”

  Feeling slighted, my mouth flew open. “I am not! I know I have other friends. I’ve talked to Beth and Kim every night since I’ve been at Jared’s.”

  “You haven’t talked to me,” he said, looking hurt.

  I rolled my eyes, glad that we had finally reached Andrews. “You want me to start calling you at night? Will that make you feel better?”

  “Maybe it would. Will your husband mind?”

  I rolled my eyes, pulling my keys from my pocket. “I don’t have time for this.”

  “Mind if I come up?”

  “I guess not, since you’re already following me in.”

  I shoved the door open and rolled my bag into the closet. Ryan sat on Beth’s bed and watched me, seemingly amused.

  “What?” I asked, waiting for a sarcastic remark.

  He shrugged, dropping his backpack to the floor. “Nothing. You’re just so funny.”

  “How so?” I asked, peeling off my coat.

  “You spend so much time pretending to be mad at me when you know why I say the things I do. I don’t get it. You like spending time with me; you like spending time with him; the only difference is that you decided to play house with him this week.”

  I raised my eyebrows, anticipating a fight. “Are you insinuating what I think you’re insinuating?” I asked, pulling off my boots.

  “It depends. Are you going to throw your boots at me?” he asked, pulling one side of his mouth up into a grin.

  “You think I’m leading you on?” I yelled, gripping one boot in my hand.

  “Well…,” he trailed off long enough to see my temper flare. “Just kidding!” He held his hands up, expecting a boot to fly across the room. When he felt he was safe, he continued, “I didn’t say that. I just think you should leave your options open, is all. You’re getting all wrapped up in this guy you barely know. You might miss something that’s right under your nose.”

  I knew what he meant, but I refused to gratify it with a reply. I plugged in my laptop, watching the screen as it came to life. “What time are you heading over there?”

  “Whenever you do,” Ryan shrugged, sprawling out on Beth’s bed.

  “I probably won’t leave until seven thirty,” I said, criss-crossing my legs on the desk chair.

  “Okay.”

  I looked over at him in disbelief. “What do you plan on doing here for four hours?”

  “Hanging out with you. It’s my turn,” he sniffed.

  “Ugh. You talk like you’re sharing me,” I groaned, disgusted.

  “I am,” he said, utterly naive of any offense.

  “Quit it.”

  Ryan bellowed out a laugh and interlocked his fingers behind his head. I watched him for a moment as he stared at the ceiling. Surely being in Ryan’s position was nothing to be so chipper about, and I was getting impatient for him to get over this ridiculous crush so we could go back to being friends.

  The next four hours passed relatively quickly. Ryan and I caught up on the last week, although I was careful to leave out much of what went on in Jared’s loft. We talked like we used to, and it was refreshing. I had missed him.

  He was right, I did enjoy spending time with him, not less than I did with Jared, but it was exceedingly different. I always felt at ease with Ryan, but the urgency wasn’t there. I didn’t feel like the oxygen was missing from the room when he wasn’t in it. Ryan was always in the back of my mind, and it hurt me when he was hurting, but he was wrong. There were more differences than just playing house.

  We were the last ones to arrive at the Rock. Ryan wanted to grab something to eat on the way, so our detour cost us the prime seats.

  Beth smiled at me when we walked in. “Hey!”

  “Hey yourself. Where were you?” I asked.

  “At Chad’s,” she smiled. I looked to Chad, who appeared very frustrated with his laptop.

  Ryan and I brought a stack of notes to occupy our time, so we went right to work. After an hour, I decided to take a break and call Jared.

  “Hey,” Jared answered in a tender tone, picking up on the first ring.

  “I just thought I’d call and see how you’re doing. Did you want me to bring you some coffee or something?”

  “No, sweetheart. Just pretend I’m not here.”

  “I just don’t like the idea of you having to sit outside in the cold.”

  “This is what I do, remember? I’m ready to see you, though,” he added.

  “Me too.” I cringed at how utterly ignoble my words sounded. I was glad that he could sense differently.

  I walked back to the group and Ryan grimaced.

  “Don’t start,” I warned.

  Ryan shook his head and returned to his book. He fidgeted in his seat for awhile, and then finally heaved a big sigh. “Are you staying there again tonight?” he blurted out.

  “That’s some more of your business,” I said, distracted by a particularly tricky equation.

  “I thought he said you had dinner plans. Since you missed dinner, I thought maybe you’d just stay here tonight.”

  “Still none of your business,” I murmured, scanning the words on the pages. Any divulging of my sleeping arrangements would only end in another argument that I wasn’t in the mood for.

  Beginning the third subject, I looked up at the clock.

  “Is that clock right?” I asked the group. Everyone looked in unison at the large round clock on the wall, and then peered at their watches or cell phones. In different tones, they all murmured confirmations.

  “What?” Ryan asked, stretching as he watched me shove my things into my bag.

  “It’s late, I have to go.”

  I pulled out my phone and pressed the speed dial for Jared’s cell. He didn’t answer, so I rushed out the door. I stood there a moment, looking around, and then hurried down the stairs, banging the rollers of my bag against every step. The Esc
alade wasn’t there.

  I tried not to panic, convincing myself that he was just in a well secluded spot. After ten minutes, I walked down the sidewalk a little over a block each way. My search was futile. Jared wouldn’t let me walk around in the dark; he wasn’t there.

  My bag barely touched the ground as I sprinted across campus, glad that Claire had parked my car in the middle lot to be spiteful. I thought of all the possibilities for his sudden disappearance, but my mind kept returning to the hell I’d gone through just a week before. Jared didn’t have a history of warning me that he was going to end our relationship.

  By the time I reached my car my lungs were frozen and aching. I fumbled with my keys and ripped the door open, heaving my bag to the passenger side. The tires squealed as I pulled out into the street, cursing every stoplight that cost me precious time.

  I pulled up to Jared’s loft and took a deep breath. His Escalade wasn’t parked in front, but I tried the door, anyway. I kept my eyes on the doorknob as I waited, willing it to twist open. Dogs barked down the dark street and I suddenly felt uneasy. Until that moment, I hadn’t realized how safe I felt with Jared; the alley had never seemed frightening before.

  I walked back to the Beemer, defeated. He would have called if it was anything other than the worst scenario. He had either broken his promise not to leave me, or he was in danger. After twenty minutes and still no call from Jared, my lungs began to feel less satisfied with every breath and my eyes welled over with tears.

  A knock resounded on my window and I jumped. Claire’s flawless face was on the other side.

  She rolled her eyes. “Oh, stop. Something came up. I’m here to let you in.”

  I stared at her for a moment, dumbfounded. Her explanation didn’t make sense, but the knowledge that he had sent her to let me in the loft extinguished half of my fears.

  “Is he okay?” I asked, following her down the alley.

  “Uh…yeah. You worry too much,” she said, her annoyed expression obvious even in the dark.

  She led me up the iron stairs of the entry way, and then opened the door to let me inside. I ran up the stairs to the loft and collapsed into the bed. An overwhelming feeling of relief tore through me, and I did my best to weep quietly to avoid further ridicule from Claire.