Return to Abundance

by Shanna Swenson

  It wasn’t long before his eyes finally closed, and he drifted off to sleep. Deep down, she was dying to know why he wanted her to stay with him. She, too, surrendered her mind and body to sleep only to awaken to Nathan’s screams in the middle of the night.

  She awoke with a start as the bed lurched under Nathan’s weight, his screams making her bolt upright in the bed.

  “God, no! Make it stop,” he cried. His body rocking back and forth as he cradled his knees. She turned toward him, his eyes wide and terrified. She threw her arms over his shoulders, pulling him towards her.

  “Nate, it was only a nightmare. Shh, it’s okay. You’re safe now. Shh,” she cooed to him, pulling his arms from his knees to circle her waist, and cradled his head to her bosom. He clung to her, sweat beading on his forehead, his breathing uneven.

  Now she knew why he’d wanted her to stay with him. Was this a nightly occurrence?

  “I thought… that if you stayed… I could keep them away, but nothing can stop them. It’s hopeless! I’m doomed. Why must I be tormented so?” His words were choppy, uttered in fear.

  “Nate, you’re going to be ok. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.” She held him to her, feeling his body tremble against hers. This poor man! What was in his nightmares? Was this torment why he was so bitter, so cold and unfeeling to everyone? Because at night he had to relive what’d he done in order to save his family? She pulled him back down to the mattress, laying him against her, his head against her breasts as she stroked his long, unkempt hair. She was determined now more than ever to aid him, to care for him, to ease his burden and release him from these demons that plagued him in the night. They fell to sleep again without any more incidents.

  When Jordan awoke the next morning, she was alone in Nate’s bed. The sun streamed through the windows, a brilliant yellow beam streaking her eye. She was momentarily unaware of where she was, but then it all came back to her, and she bolted upright. The bedroom door was shut, and she heard no movement in the house. She pulled the covers off her thighs and stood, checking the bathroom, but the light was off. So, he’d awoken and left her in his bed. It was to be expected. It was Nate, for goodness sake.

  Last night had been surprising, to say the least. She had expected anger and jealousy, what she hadn’t expected was for that ardent fury to turn into hot, unrestrained, mind-blowing sex. Sex with him had been passionate and…well, not at all what she’d been expecting. She’d expected him to be rough, demanding, not quite as gentle as he’d been, and for him to want her absence when he had finished with the deed. But his love making had not been any of those things. It had been wonderful! He’d been a tender, passionate, unselfish lover, and she’d realized, reluctantly, that she’d thoroughly enjoyed herself with him. He’d also not expected more from her than she’d been willing to give— like him giving her some space this morning, and them not having to have that awkward wakeup-in-bed-together-morning-after talk… that hadn’t been an easy trait to come by in her previous lovers. Maybe this wasn’t going to be such a bad arrangement after all.

  She ran into the bathroom to relieve her bladder and ran her fingers through her hair, washed her face and brushed her teeth with her finger and some toothpaste and smoothed her wrinkled dress.

  The door creaked softly as she opened it and crept into the foyer. The house was quiet. Maybe he’d already started working down at the barn. Well, she was craving a hot steaming cup of coffee, so she headed to the kitchen. As soon as she opened the door, she saw him at the breakfast table, coffee in hand, clad in an old t-shirt and jeans, hair wet and rumpled from a recent shower, looking sexy as all get out.

  “Mornin’,” he grumbled, his tone the same as always, but it was his eyes that gave him away. They were sparkling as they fell on her, admiring her sex-rumpled dress and hair. She smiled knowingly to herself.

  “Mornin’ yourself.” She opened the dishwasher near the coffee pot, bent down for a cup and knowingly gave him a nice shot of her thong-covered ass cheeks. He cleared his throat. Ha, she thought, ten points for me.

  She poured herself a cup of coffee, adding her cream and sugar and sat down beside him. She exhaled as she sipped her coffee, enjoying the view from the bay window and the sounds of birds chirping their morning songs.

  “You were sleeping so good that I didn’t want to wake you. I know you probably didn’t get much sleep last night...” He was fishing to see if she’d say anything about his night terrors. Of course she didn’t. He cleared his throat again. “Look, uh, I guess I should apologize for—”

  She looked over at him then, arching an eyebrow, shaking her head, interrupting him. “Don’t.”

  “But, I shouldn’t have—”

  “Nathan, just don’t.” She shook her head again. He sighed and gave her a retired look, for which she stopped in her tracks. Her coffee cup was midway to her lips; she pulled it back down. “Look, we are two consenting adults. What happened last night—”

  “Shouldn’t have! We were both drunk.” He huffed and ran a hand through his wet hair. “And I should never have said the things that I said to you on the porch.” His eyebrows went up at that. So, he felt sorry for how he’d treated her? He sighed. “I’m really sorry you had to see what happened after… when I woke up. I honestly thought—”

  “You thought that if I were there, you wouldn’t have the nightmares.”

  He nodded, shocked. “Well, yeah! It’s just really embarrassing...”

  Jordan sighed and took his hand. “You have no reason in this world to feel embarrassed about what happened.” He sat still and silent for a moment. His eyes lowered to his coffee, and she expected that he would speak no more on the incident, but to her surprise, he continued.

  “It’s just that… Well, I don’t know when I’m going to have them. It’s usually more often than not, and I never really know what to expect because each night is different.” Jordan just listened, intently. “Usually, when I drink I don’t have them. S’probably why I drink so much.” He laughed, humorlessly.

  She cupped his cheek in her hand, and the pained look in his eyes tore at her heart.

  “Have you thought about seeing someone? I’m sure there are medicines—”

  “No! I’m not crazy. I’m just haunted,” he stated, softly. She smiled sadly at him and moved to come in front of him, straddling his legs as she sat on his lap. He obliged her, looking up into her face as she ran her hands through his damp black hair. She sighed.

  “Nate, I know you aren’t crazy, but this has to stop. You continue having to relive what happened each time you have these nightmares. There’s no chance of moving on because it’s holding you back. It doesn’t make you less strong or less sane or even less of a man to ask for help. It makes you human, and you are, in fact, human.” Her mouth lowered then to kiss him gently on the lips. He pulled back suddenly as if she’d electrocuted him and grabbed at her hands.

  “No, Jordan. Stop! We can’t!” he objected.

  “We aren’t drunk today, Nate.” Her eyebrow arched, and she gave him a sexy smile. Her rebellious lips lowered to his resistant ones.

  “But—”

  “Shh,” she murmured, her hands coming to his face then as she tilted his head for the taking. Her lips fell on his again. “Just, let me love you.”

  His hands came to her back, softly caressing her, and he returned her kiss then deepened it, his tongue stroking hers in eager possession. His hands dropped to the hem of her dress and peeled it over her head, revealing her half-naked torso. His eyes and hands moved simultaneously to her breasts then his mouth moved to her neck, gently sucking at the skin of her throat. She moaned and arched her back, pushing her big breasts deeper into his palms. He groaned as well, his hands deftly removing her bra. When he freed her restrained mounds, his fervent mouth took her swollen nipple, the heat engulfing the aching peak as she cried out in pleasure. He moved his hands to her bottom then and pulled her against his rigid crotch. He suckled her, his deft tongue darting back
and forth across the hard crest of her nipple, and she gasped in short little breaths, grinding herself against him. Suddenly, he picked her up and sat her on the edge of the table as his hand went to the button of his jeans. He undid them and unzipped himself, and laid her back, pulling the thin line of cotton between her legs to the side. He roughly gripped her hips and pulled her towards him then opened her for his taking.

  “Yes, oh yes! I want you inside me.” Jordan sighed as he centered himself over her and pressed his hardness into her silky wetness. Once he filled her completely, his hands held her hips as he began thrusting and withdrawing. She wrapped her legs around him then matching his rhythm. His hands came to her bouncing breasts, caressing them, flicking her hard nipples with his thumbs. “Oh, Nate, baby. Harder! Faster!” Her words only served to increase his sexual appetite for her, for he answered her request. He pounded into her harder and faster, until they were both breathless, and her insides contracted with her sudden orgasm. She cried out mindlessly as he slammed into her with a final violent thrust, a loud guttural growl escaping his lips. Nathan slowed his pace then, his breathing gentle and even, his orgasm gradually subsiding. His hips rocked involuntarily as her sex still squeezed at him. Gasps came from his lips as his body shuttered, feeling her milking him. His eyes were dark as he gazed at her. She smiled. He stayed inside her for a few moments longer then finally pulled out, leaving her feeling slightly bereft. He helped her up, still breathless as he looked at the table.

  “Looks like we’ve made quite a mess,” Nate stated, emotionless.

  She turned, her eyes seeing what his were. The coffee cups had turned on their sides and the entire table was covered in the brown, sticky liquid- save for the one area where they’d been having sex.

  “Whoops.” She giggled. Nate pulled up his jeans and zipped them.

  “Damn, Jordan, you’re sexy as hell,” he stated, looking at her.

  Her smile faded at the intensity of his words as both his hands gently gripped her face. His beautiful sapphire blue eyes gazed deeply into hers. It caught her off guard for a moment then suddenly, his soft, plump lips were crushing hers. Nathan pulled her from the table and into his hard chest, his hands squeezing her bottom. He angled his mouth and deepened their kiss, passionately caressing her tongue with his own then his head moved to the other side. His kiss was so needy, so passionate, so hot that she simply melted against him and let him love her mouth with his own. When he finally pulled back, he sucked at her bottom lip and nipped it with his teeth. Jordan stood confidently naked and wanton against him. She was breathless and completely aroused…again. Her breasts heaved as she took deep breaths to calm herself, and he moved back from her slightly. He just looked at her then, his eyes unreadable. Nate started backing away slowly then turned and headed out the back door. She smiled. This was progress.

  Dammit to Hell! He’d known hiring Jordan had been a bad idea! He’d known keeping her around had been an even worse idea, and now Nathan had gone and let her get completely under his skin and into his bed. She had tortured him for too long with her skimpy outfits and sassy mouth, and he’d finally lost it. He’d taken her in a rage of fury and passion that had rocked his socks clean off. Now, she was slowly burrowing into his flesh and taking root there, not unlike a parasite. But God, she had felt so good. So real. So solid.

  This morning, he had planned to lay down the law. She was his employee, and it was his responsibility as her boss to keep their relationship strictly platonic, but somehow, she’d managed to go and throw his inhibitions right out the door. He’d loved the feeling of her strong thighs wrapped around him, her tightness encompassing him, pulling him back to reality with each thrust of his hips; making him feel need and want and desire. He couldn’t have stopped himself from letting her “love” him, as she’d put it, any more than he could have stopped the earth from turning!

  How had she done it? How had she just come into his life and turned it upside down? When he’d been with this incredible woman both last night and this morning, it was as if all the anguish and pain had simply disappeared. It was almost as if the murder, the nightmares, the whole thing- had never happened. Almost! There was no rage, no emptiness, no anger. Just peace and sexual bliss and happiness. What the hell was going on? Nathan didn’t know, but he liked it! And he didn’t want it to stop. Those were two certainties. The only problem was that Jordan was a woman with no strings attached.

  He thought about all this as he worked that day- hard, backbreaking, exhausting work with the horses, bailing hay and redoing fence posts. His hands hurt and his back ached as he ambled up the back porch steps that night, his whole body gritty with dirt and sweat. He hadn’t come in for lunch because he couldn’t stand to see that alluring look of want in her eyes that he knew would be there when he came in. The look of victory she’d had when he’d left her that morning. It wasn’t just a sexual want she craved; he knew that it was more. A need for him to rejoin society, forgive his sister, move on with his life, and he hadn’t been ready to face it. Not just yet. So, he’d just kept working until his body couldn’t take anymore. When he tore through the door, his breathing ragged, she’d been there to assist him. She handed him a tall glass of cold water to quench his thirst and made him sit as she removed his boots and pulled his dusty shirt over his head. She’d said nothing for there was no need for words. Her whiskey honey eyes spoke volumes to him, and he’d just stared back into their depths. He began removing his remaining clothes and she held her hand out expectantly as he handed them to her one by one. He finally stood there naked before her, fully revealing himself to her for the first time. She took him in, her eyes falling over him, then looked back up. A seriousness came over her as she spoke, breaking the deafening silence.

  “I didn’t sleep with Buck last night.”

  “I know,” he stated. Somehow, he’d known.

  With that she moved away silently with his clothes, taking his burden with her. He stood there for long moments staring after her retreating back before he left to go get in the shower to wash the day’s work from his shoulders and back and hair. He had finished soaping up and was almost through, just letting the water hit him, when suddenly, Jordan was there, opening the shower stall and stepping in naked.

  “Jordan? What are you doing?”

  She didn’t say a word as she looked into his eyes and cupped his sex in her hands. He groaned and shivered. Her hands and fingers stroked him until he was rigid and ready for her. He made a move to touch her only to have her kneel before him. “No. You don’t have to—” The comment died as her full lips enclosed the head of his sex. “Oh God,” Nate gasped as his whole body stiffened, his muscles taut from the shock and sensation of her sweet lips on that sensitive part of him. He heard her moan smugly as she made a fist around the shaft of his penis then her hot mouth took him in inch by inch. His head fell back on his shoulders and his hands dropped into her hair. He locked his knees, grabbing and kneading her thick mane, as her hand and mouth moved over his rock-hard cock, her tongue caressing him in circles of pleasure. He moaned out loud as her other hand slid between his legs and gripped his ass cheek, pulling him even further into her throat.

  Her mouth and gripping hand worked together in beautiful harmony to slowly milk him into a daze of exquisite torture. He was captivated by her sultry eyes looking up at him as the suction of her mouth and stroking of her fist became his undoing. His hips gently rocked with her as he watched her expertly torture his flesh until he felt the stirrings of climax seize him and he cried out as wave after wave of pleasure hit him. His muscles tightened and his mind exploded in a brilliant spray of lights. With a violent thrust, he spilled himself into the deep pit of her throat. He slowly came down from his sexual high, groaning and sighing as the spray of the shower hit his back, his hips still rocking, his manhood still pulsing in glorious gratification. Finally, after several moments, he stilled himself, and she removed her retired hand and mouth and stood before him as his breathing began to normali
ze. He looked deep into those beautiful whiskey eyes then she gently kissed his lips. He moved to embrace her, but she stepped aside and out of the shower.

  When Nate came into the kitchen, his hair was damp and he was clad in an old shirt and lounge pants, his feet bare. Jordan was preparing dinner, her own wet hair cascading down her back. He just watched as she hummed and chopped and sautéed as if she hadn’t just blown his mind in the shower. He sat down at the breakfast table to watch her and she looked over at him, giving him a knowing smile. He sighed and stared down at his hands.

  “Look, Jordan,” he began.

  The phone rang at that moment. Jordan grabbed it off the receiver and gave the caller a sweet, “Butler residence.” Her cheeks flushed then as she smiled in to the phone. “Well, hello, Mrs. Butler.”

  “Shit,” Nathan mumbled, tilting his head back.

  “Yes, it’s me, Jordan. I’m well and you? Oh, no, he’s right here… Of course!” She looked over at Nathan and handed him the phone.

  “Hi Mom!” Nate replied, cringing slightly to himself.

  “Well hey, son! How are you?”

  “I’m fine. How was your trip?”

  “Oh, it’s been fun, but I’m ready to be home now… So… how long has Jordan been working for you?”

  Here we go, Nate thought. “A couple of weeks now, I guess.”

  “Well, I hope you are being good to her. She’s a sweet girl.”

  His eyes roved over the “sweet girl”. “Yes, yes, she is.”

  “I mean it, Nathan David!” Corrine scolded then her tone softened. “I want to come have dinner with you and your sister, so I thought we could come to the house and grill out or something tomorrow night. How does that sound?” By the house she meant his house. Well, thank goodness Jordan had cleaned every inch of it- spic and span.

  “Yeah, Mom. That’s fine. What time?”

  “I dunno. Whatever time is best for y’all! How about 6 PM? That will give me and your father a chance to unpack and rest before we head over.”