Dare to Desire

by Carly Phillips

  “What does she want?” Madison asked.

  “She left messages, all vague. She just said she wants to talk to me. She didn’t say about what.”

  Madison nodded. “I see.” And she did. A call from this woman was enough to have him pulling away from her.

  “I don’t think you do.” He stalked over to her, bracing his hands on the arms of her chair.

  He was too close, smelled too good, made her want too much.

  “Hearing from Rachel brought me back to a bad place.”

  She swallowed hard. “I got that much.”

  “Not for the reasons you think. I’m not pining over some lost love. Hearing from her reminds me that I wasn’t good enough for her. Just like I wasn’t good enough for Ian to want anything to do with me. Just like I’m no longer good enough to play ball.” He swallowed, his strong throat working up and down. “I indulged in self-pity last night, and I hurt you in the process. I screwed up and I regret it.”

  Her hand rose of its own volition. She cupped his clean-shaven jaw in her palm and studied his sincere expression. She’d heard his words, understood he’d just bared his soul, and her heart softened despite her fear. And she was afraid. Every time she rebuilt her walls, when he chipped away at them, he took them down even farther. The fall would be that much harder when and if it came. But this ego-driven man had apologized to her twice, and she couldn’t deny that showed change.

  “I’m human, Angel.” He let out a self-deprecating laugh, his face inches from hers.

  “Yeah. I get that. And so am I.” Which meant she could be hurt. So easily if he did a sudden one-eighty on her again.

  “Am I forgiven?” he asked, his lips so close his breath feathered over her mouth.

  “Yeah,” she murmured, powerless against this Alex.

  “Thank you.” He leaned in and pressed his mouth to hers.

  She sighed and soaked up the seductive slide of his lips, the touch of their noses, the moment all the more intimate for the sweetness inherent in the kiss.

  When he leaned back, her heart was pounding hard in her chest. “We’re good?” he asked.

  She treated him to a warm smile. “We’re good,” she assured him.

  “Can we agree that what happens in the office doesn’t come home with us?”

  She closed her eyes, remembering that they had more to discuss and potentially disagree over.

  “Agreed,” she said on a sigh. Although she wished they could have stayed in the moment. But given that they were at work, he was right to bring them back to the issue at hand.

  “Good. Because there’s no way in hell that I can be the poster boy for weakness.”

  She closed her eyes and prayed for the words and strength to convince him otherwise.

  SEVEN

  Alex declared the PR plan off-limits for discussion, and Madison, Ian, and Riley had no choice but to respect his mandate, though Madison still hoped to change his mind. In her heart, she believed he could do a world of good to help people, not just in their campaign to train football players after their playing days but also high-school- and college-age players who should follow his lead and avoid risking further injury.

  Their business trip to New York seemed to arrive overnight, and Madison was looking forward to seeing Manhattan. Olivia and Dylan, both in charge of team travel, also had meetings in New York City with the head of the hotel chain where the players stayed, and they all flew together on the corporate jet. Madison wasn’t used to such high style, and though she prided herself on not being overly impressed by the wealthy lifestyle, even she was blown away by this luxury.

  In the back of the small plane, Dylan and Olivia had their heads together, conferring over something—although at times they appeared to be arguing rather than working. Madison turned away, wanting to respect their privacy and mind her own business.

  Alex seemed preoccupied, looking out the window, so Madison closed her eyes, hoping to take a nap. Alex had kept her up late in the night, his hands everywhere on and in her body, as if he couldn’t get enough. Heaven knew she couldn’t. No matter what was going on in their personal lives, sexually they were completely compatible. She’d never had a man who read her so well or knew her so intimately.

  Ever since that night they’d spent apart, he’d gone out of his way to be the attentive lover he’d been prior to his lapse. Madison didn’t expect perfection from herself, let alone the man in her life, and she was all too happy to forgive him and move on. But that didn’t mean she wasn’t very aware of the ex-girlfriend he’d wanted to make his wife looming in the background, ready to return and wreak havoc with whatever it was she wanted.

  Clearly, when Alex didn’t want to deal with something, his method was to ignore it completely. Madison didn’t find that an effective way to handle life, but it wasn’t her place to judge. She just didn’t like being in limbo, waiting for some proverbial shoe to fall.

  The sensation of a hand on her thigh had her stirring, and she came to herself, realizing she must have fallen asleep. Her head rested on Alex’s shoulder.

  She forced her heavy eyelids to open and sat up, blinking to clear her vision.

  “Hey, sleepyhead.”

  She laughed. “Someone kept me awake last night.”

  “I didn’t hear you complaining.”

  “And you won’t.” She grinned. Then, remembering his preoccupation before she’d fallen asleep, her mood sobered. “Is everything okay? You seemed distracted earlier.”

  He nodded. “I just have a lot on my mind.”

  “Care to share? I’m a pretty good listener.”

  He leaned back in his seat and groaned. “Where to start? My agent left a message. He wants to know when I’m going to start thinking about things that can make me real money, like endorsements. What he really means is things that will make him money too.” He scowled.

  “What kind of deals does he think are open to you?”

  “After my injury, he told me he could get me underwear ads.” He held up a hand.

  “Okay, I get it’s not a power drink or sports equipment but…”

  “It’s trading on my face or body, not my accomplishments. It’s just not something I want to do.”

  “Fair enough. I can’t say I want to share that body with all of America either.” Madison treated him to a sultry smile, reaching out to stroke his cheek.

  Alex stilled, well aware this was the first time she’d acted possessive in any real way. The first time she’d felt comfortable reaching out to him as if she really was the other half of a couple. And he liked it.

  He grasped her wrist. “That’s not something you need to worry about.” His voice sounded rough to his ears. She did that to him, aroused his protective caveman-like instincts.

  “Glad to hear it.”

  He turned her wrist toward him and snaked his tongue along the pulse point. Her eyes grew hazy, and her pupils dilated. “If I slipped my hand into your pants, would I find you wet for me?”

  Her lips parted, but no sound came out. “I’ll take that as a yes,” he said, running his lips along her bare arm.

  A tremor rippled through her, and a glance at her breasts told him her nipples had hardened into tight peaks. Too bad he couldn’t do anything about it here.

  He leaned in and kissed her lips. “Now sit back and behave before our travel companions notice you’re overheated and panting for me,” he said with a grin.

  She shot him a frustrated look and pulled herself together, shifting in her seat as she glared at him. “You don’t play fair,” she muttered.

  “Never said I did.”

  “Speaking of our traveling companions, have you noticed that Olivia and Dylan have been huddled back there since after we took off?” Madison asked.

  He was glad to notice her voice trembled. She hadn’t shaken off his effect on her that easily.

  He shrugged. “They always seem to have something going on between them that nobody knows about.”

  “Hmm.”<
br />
  “Listen, while we’re in New York, I’m going to see my cousin Gabe and his twin, Decklan. Gabe owns exclusive clubs in town, and I thought we could make a night of it. The four of us, if those two are interested.” He jerked his thumb toward the back of the plane.

  “Introducing me to family? Careful or I might get the wrong idea,” she said, her tone teasing. But then, as if she realized what she’d said, her face paled. “I did not mean that like it sounded,” she said, turning away, clearly unable to face him.

  He shook his head. The frustrating woman still didn’t believe he was serious about her. Convincing her was high on his list. He wasn’t withdrawing at her joke, and he figured he’d just let his actions speak for him.

  He grasped her hand in his and laid it on his lap, keeping her close for the remainder of the flight.

  * * *

  As a group, they checked into the hotel that normally hosted the Thunder when they played in the tri-state area. Dylan and Olivia stopped to say hello to the manager. Madison and Alex waited for their room keys. The plan was for the four of them to meet up for a late dinner.

  “I still don’t see why you need your own room,” Alex muttered to her as he accepted the key card.

  “Because this is a business trip, paid for by my employer, and I refuse to give them a hint of impropriety.”

  “That them you refer to is my half brother, who was sleeping with an employee before he married her,” Alex reminded her.

  “It’s not the same thing.” She wanted people at work to respect her. She wanted to respect herself. Sharing a room with Alex wouldn’t accomplish that. “And it’s not up for negotiation.”

  “Doesn’t mean I won’t be in your bed tonight,” he said, pressing a kiss to the side of her neck before slipping his hand in hers.

  She shivered at the seductive sensation of his lips against her sensitive skin.

  “Come. The elevators are over there,” he said, not waiting for an answer, which was a good thing since she couldn’t form a coherent word.

  As they approached the wide bank of elevators, she heard someone call Alex by name. They both turned.

  “Alex Dare?” A boy in a wheelchair came toward them, his father rushing to keep up with his excited son.

  “Hi there,” Alex said, striding up to the teenager.

  “I’m a huge fan,” he said, gushing.

  “We’re from Tampa,” the father said.

  “Yeah. We’re in New York to see some doctors,” the teen said in obvious distaste.

  The older man looked down on his son wistfully but didn’t say a word.

  “Can I get an autograph?” the boy asked.

  Alex grinned. “You sure can.”

  “Hang on. I’ll go get paper from the front desk,” Madison said, rushing over to the bell clerk and returning with a pen and paper.

  “What’s your name?” Alex asked, kneeling down to make himself level with the boy.

  “Jake. Jake Wilton.”

  “Tell you what, Jake. I’ll sign this, but I’ll take your address and send you an autographed picture and some team memorabilia.”

  “All right!” The boy’s cheeks flushed, and he grinned.

  For the next few minutes, they exchanged information, and Alex signed the paper, to his buddy, Jake. Madison had never seen this side of Alex. True, she’d seen him with fans, but this exchange with the teenager was different. He was warm, caring, and so much more real.

  She wondered if he ever wanted kids. It wasn’t something she’d given much thought to, if only because she’d never found a man she wanted to settle down with. Those trust issues always reared their ugly head. But Alex, who had such an instant rapport with this boy, brought untapped feelings up inside her.

  She glanced down. The two had their brown-haired heads close together as they had a private conversation she couldn’t overhear.

  “He’s great with kids,” the older man said, drawing Madison’s attention.

  “Yes, he really is.” She smiled, her heart fluttering madly in her chest, and she wasn’t sure why. She only knew something about this exchange touched her deeply.

  Alex rose to his full height. “You’ll remember what I said?” he asked the teen.

  “Yes sir!”

  Alex laughed. “Umm, no need to be formal.”

  Jake shot his father an I told you so look. “I knew you’d be cool,” he said to Alex, looking up at him like he was his ultimate hero.

  To Madison’s surprise, Alex’s cheeks turned red.

  “It was great to meet you, Jake.” Alex shook his hand as if he were an adult, leaving the teen beaming. He stepped over to the boy’s father. “You’ve got a strong, brave son.”

  The other man’s eyes grew watery. “Thank you. This … today means a lot. He’ll never forget this, and neither will I.”

  Alex shook his head, unsure what he’d done beyond the usual fan greeting, but he smiled anyway. “I won’t forget him either,” he told the older man.

  And he meant it. The boy had struck a deep chord within him, and his young face and situation would stay with him for a long while. He walked toward the elevator, Madison beside him, lost in thought.

  “Are you okay?” she asked.

  He met her gaze. “I guess. It’s just … there but for the grace of God and all that.” A car accident had put the boy in the chair, but life had its random moments that changed everything unexpectedly.

  “How so?” Madison asked.

  “If I’d been hit or fallen a different way, I could be in a chair too. All this time I’ve been wallowing in self-pity, as if not playing football was the worst thing that could have happened to me, when Jake will never have that chance at all. Never have chances at a lot of things I take for granted.”

  Madison slipped her smaller hand into his but didn’t say anything, knowing when to keep silent. He squeezed her hand in gratitude, and they walked into the elevator.

  * * *

  Madison settled onto the edge of the king-sized bed in the large suite. A totally unnecessary expense, but everyone else seemed used to it, so she’d kept silent at check-in.

  She waited for her luggage to be brought up so she could unpack her things, and she hoped they wouldn’t be too badly wrinkled. Especially the dress she’d thrown in at the last minute just in case they went out for fun in Manhattan. Good thing, since apparently they were visiting Alex’s cousin’s nightclub.

  When a knock came, she opened the door, expecting the bellman. Instead, Alex stood in the doorway, one arm braced on the molding.

  “You’re not the bellman.” She stepped aside to let him in.

  “Disappointed?” he asked, looking as off-kilter as he had when they’d stepped into the elevator earlier.

  “Don’t be silly. What’s going on?”

  He strode to the bed and flopped to his back, leaning against the pillows. “I just can’t get Jake out of my head. He’s so young, and he has to spend the rest of his life in a wheelchair, but he laughs and smiles like all’s well with the world.”

  She sat on the bed and crawled over, cuddling against his hard body. He wrapped an arm around her and pulled her into him.

  “You gave him something special to remember today. He met his hero, and you treated him like a normal kid. You were great with him,” she murmured.

  “Kids are so resilient and accepting. So much more so than adults,” he said.

  “That they are.” She paused then said, “Focus on Jake’s smile.” She was at a loss how else to help him out of his funk.

  “How did you get so smart?” He toyed with her hair, combing through the strands and twirling it with his finger.

  She let out a sigh. “A lot of practice trying not to focus on bad things, I guess,” she said, surprised she was answering so honestly.

  “I want to know more about those bad things. More about you. The things you don’t talk about,” he said in a low, soothing voice.

  She knew what he wanted. It was a story she
rarely told. Someone had to earn her trust and her heart before she’d even consider admitting that neither of her parents had wanted her. Saying it out loud made her vulnerable, and Madison normally didn’t allow many people that close. She’d kept Alex at a distance the first time they were together, even as she’d known how hard she was falling in such a short time. Because she knew he wasn’t a forever kind of guy, and the truth went to the deepest hurt she nursed in her heart.

  But she could no longer hold back from this man. She didn’t want to. He’d been asking for her trust, and if she was going to try, as he seemed to be doing, she had to let him in.

  She sighed and said, “My mom left me and my dad. She said she was going to work one morning, and she never came back. When he realized something was wrong, he called her job, her friends, but no one had heard from her.” She shrugged. “We didn’t have any other family that I knew of, so it was just me and him.”

  He began to stroke her hair, long, soothing touches this time, keeping them connected as she spoke.

  “How old were you?”

  “I was twelve, and it was horrible. My father worked really long hours in construction and came home really late. Looking back, I know he went out drinking before coming home. I would let myself into the house after school, make myself dinner with whatever I could find in the fridge or the pantry, do my homework and … cry myself to sleep.”

  “Fuck,” Alex muttered.

  She was glad he couldn’t see her face and appreciated the strength of his arms wrapped tightly around her. “One day he said we were going clothes shopping. I was really excited because, one, we never ever bought new things, and two, my clothes were getting tighter. I’d started developing and … you know.”

  She pulled in a deep breath, the lump in her throat so big it actually hurt. “You’d think this would get easier.” She buried her face against his side.

  “Take your time, Angel.” His voice was warm and soothing, but she felt the tension emanating from him.

  It wasn’t an easy story to tell. It couldn’t be an easy one to hear. Riley had cried when Madison had told her, and Madison had only given the other woman the bare bones.