Desperate Intentions (HQR Intrigue)

by Carla Cassidy

  “Maybe,” she replied. “So, what do I owe you?”

  “Nothing,” he replied.

  “Oh, surely I owe you something for your time and trouble,” she protested.

  He grinned at her. “I had time and this was no trouble. What do you think of my buddy Troy?”

  Oh Lord, the warmth of a blush immediately swept over her cheeks. “He seems very nice, but I really don’t know him that well. We’ve only had dinner together once.”

  One of Mike’s bushy brown eyebrows quirked upward. “He had dinner with you?”

  “Yes, and we’re going out for pizza on Friday night.”

  He gazed at her for a long moment that became slightly uncomfortable and then he nodded and smiled. “That’s a good thing. It’s about time my man Troy climbed out of his self-imposed hell. He’s a good guy who went through some really bad things. I hope this means he’s finally found some forgiveness for himself.” He glanced at his watch. “And now I need to get out of here. I’ve got an appointment in fifteen minutes across town.”

  Before she could fully process what she’d just learned about Troy, Mike was out the door.

  “Did Mr. Mouse leave?”

  Katie’s voice whirled Eliza around. The little girl stood in the doorway, a smudge of chocolate just above her mouth. Her brother stood next to her with a milk mustache. “We’re done with our cookies,” Katie said. “Can we watch cartoons?”

  “Both of you wash your face and hands and then you’ve got thirty minutes of television time before we get to homework.”

  As the kids disappeared to wash up, Eliza turned on the television and put in a DVD that had been borrowed from Sammy’s school. It was a series of cartoons that was not only fun for Katie to watch, but also had narration that would help Sammy enjoy it as well.

  Once the kids were settled on the sofa, she returned to the kitchen. As she cleaned up the snack dishes her mind whirred with questions about Troy. A self-imposed hell? What did that mean? And what kind of bad things had happened to him?

  She was surprised to realize her interest was far more than the passing curiosity about a neighbor. Rather it was the interest of a woman in a man...a man she found wildly attractive. But just because she found him attractive and Mike’s words about Troy had interested her didn’t mean there would be any relationship with him. She definitely wasn’t looking for a relationship.

  The rest of the evening passed uneventfully and soon it was time for bed. She tucked in Katie and then went to Sammy’s room to do the same.

  “Sleep tight,” she said, and dropped a kiss on his cheek.

  “Mommy, I’ve got something to tell you. I didn’t want to say anything in front of Katie.”

  Eliza’s heart jumped a beat. “What is it, honey? You know you can talk to me about anything.”

  “Last night Daddy was in my room.”

  Eliza stared at her son in surprise. “Honey, why would you think anyone was in your room last night?”

  “I woke up because I heard some noise and I could tell by my Spidey senses that somebody was there, and he smelled just like Daddy.”

  “Sammy, you know that isn’t possible. Your father passed away.” She stroked a strand of hair away from his forehead, unable to believe they were having this conversation.

  “Maybe it was Daddy’s ghost,” Sammy replied. “Do ghosts smell?”

  “I suppose they might,” she replied. There were times when Eliza thought she caught a faint scent of lilac that instantly evoked thoughts of her mother. She’d lost both of her parents in a car accident when she was twenty-one. In those brief moments of the lilac scent, she always imagined the spirit of her mother surrounding her with love.

  “Were you scared?”

  Sammy shook his head. “No, I didn’t feel scared about it. If it was Daddy’s ghost I figured maybe he just came to see how we were doing.”

  “But you know that if anything ever scares you in the night you can come wake me.”

  He smiled. “Duh, Mom. I know that.”

  “Now, enough talk about ghosts for one night. You need to get your sleep.” She kissed him once again and then left his bedroom.

  It wasn’t until she was in bed and staring up at the dark ceiling that she finally had time to process everything the day had brought.

  So, the house didn’t have mice, but apparently it had a ghost who smelled like Blake. Eliza wasn’t surprised that Sammy remembered what his father had smelled like. Blake had loved his cologne, a distinctive fragrance of cedar and patchouli, and he had always worn it liberally.

  It was tragic that what Sammy couldn’t remember was the gentle touch of his father’s hand or the warmth of a father’s kiss against his cheek.

  Blake had seen Sammy as a hindrance, a child who required money and special attention that Blake, in his selfishness, wasn’t willing to give.

  If Blake hadn’t left her when he had, she would have left him. The affairs he’d had were bad enough, but his inability to love his children had been the real deal-breaker.

  Her thoughts shifted from one man to another. Troy. Mike’s words about him whirled around in her head. What did he have to forgive himself for? Why had he been in a self-imposed hell? What had happened to him?

  She had to be very careful who she invited into her life. She had her children to think about. She couldn’t get romantically involved with anyone who might be here today and then gone tomorrow. She didn’t want her children involved with anyone who might be a danger to them either physically or mentally.

  She instantly chided herself. There was no reason to believe there was, or would be, anything romantic between herself and Troy. There was nothing wrong with neighbors just getting together for pizza.

  A bump sounded, followed by a faint rustling, seeming to come from behind the far wall. She shot up to a sitting position, her heart beating frantically.

  Quickly she reached out and turned on her bedside lamp.

  She held her breath and waited. Silence. No other noises and nothing appeared amiss. She remained looking around and listening for several long minutes. She finally turned off the light and lay back down, her heart still banging an unsteady rhythm.

  She hoped it was what Mike had suggested, that she just needed to get accustomed to the natural noises the old house made. But those noises didn’t sound natural. They hadn’t been the faint whoosh of the air conditioner or the sound of vents expanding. They had to be natural to the house because nothing else made sense. Still, it was a very long time before she finally drifted off back to sleep.

  * * *

  TROY STARED AT himself in the bathroom mirror. What in the hell did he think he was doing? In fifteen minutes he’d drive over to pick up Eliza and her kids for a pizza night.

  He’d spoken to her yesterday when he’d caught her carrying in groceries. He’d asked her if they were still on for tonight and he’d almost hoped she’d cancel the plans.

  But she hadn’t. Instead her beautiful eyes had sparkled with a happy light as she told him she and the children were really looking forward to tonight.

  He was looking forward to the night, too, and that disturbed him. He knew there would probably be laughter and he’d probably lust after Eliza, and he had no right to be happy or sexually attracted to anyone.

  It had been years since he’d gotten ready for a date, but as he combed his hair and checked his jaw for any errant whiskers, a burn of excitement lit inside him.

  He splashed on some cologne and then left the bathroom. It’s no big deal. A couple of hours, he told himself. It was just pizza at a neighborhood pub. Soon he’d be back home and he could forget all about the neighbor lady with her children next door.

  Thankfully, the kids had shown no further interest in the dead cat. He now had a nice heavy concrete birdbath in the spot. In the spring he’d plant flowers around it and hop
efully nobody would ever dig up what was buried there.

  It was precisely five o’clock when he rang Eliza’s doorbell. Immediately she answered and the sight of her almost took his breath away.

  Her jeans hugged the length of her long legs and the royal blue blouse she wore added a touch of that color to her lovely eyes. But it was the warmth and the beauty of her smile that punched him in the gut.

  He felt himself respond with a wide smile of his own. “Ready for some pizza?”

  “I’m ready, and I think the kids have been ready since yesterday morning when I told them about tonight,” she replied. “Come on in. I’ll just grab my purse from the kitchen.”

  He followed behind her into the large foyer and within minutes they were all together, the kids dancing around the two adults with excitement.

  “What kind of pizza do you like, Mr. Anderson?” Katie asked once they were in his car.

  “My favorite is pepperoni,” he replied. “And you can call me Troy.”

  “Mom, that’s your favorite, too. Isn’t that nice that you both like the same thing, Mr. Troy?” Katie said. “You two make a good couple.”

  He cast a glance over at Eliza and smiled at her. It was obvious Katie was attempting her hand at a little matchmaking. Eliza gave him a helpless, slightly embarrassed smile of her own.

  It didn’t matter how much matchmaking Katie attempted, a match wasn’t going to happen between the two of them. This was just a pleasant neighborly outing and that was all. No matter how interesting he found Eliza and no matter how much he lusted after her, tonight was the beginning and the ending of any sort of relationship except a friendly nod in passing.

  “What kind of pizza do you like, Sammy?” he asked.

  “Just plain cheese,” he replied.

  “That’s what I like, too,” Katie added. “We all love pizza. Sometimes Mommy makes us homemade pizza, but it’s always fun to go out for it.”

  Minutes later he pulled into the parking lot of Garozzi’s Pizza. The small establishment was in a strip mall and served not only pizza but also Italian favorites like lasagna and other pasta dishes. It was a rather small, intimate place with candles on the tables and booths and soft, unobtrusive music playing overhead.

  It didn’t take long for them to settle in a booth and for the waitress, Tabitha, to greet them. “Hey, Troy. Is this your family?”

  “No,” Eliza replied quickly. “We’re just neighbors.”

  “But they’re the perfect couple ’cause they both love pepperoni pizza,” Katie quipped.

  Tabitha laughed. “And that’s what’s important in a relationship, right, kiddo?” She took their orders and then left their booth.

  “This obviously isn’t your first time in here,” Eliza said minutes later when they were waiting for their pizza and they’d been served their drinks.

  “Actually, I come in here pretty often. It’s easier to stop in here for dinner than going home and cooking after working all day,” he replied. “The prices are good, the food is excellent and I don’t have to eat my own cooking.”

  “So, am I to take away from that information that you aren’t much of a cook?” she asked.

  He grinned. “I can cook just enough to keep myself alive.”

  “Mom is an awesome cook,” Sammy said.

  “I figured that out after just eating with you all one time,” Troy replied.

  “Oh, it’s easy to be a good cook with a Crock-Pot,” she protested. “But I have to admit I am a decent cook.”

  Before long the pizza arrived and Troy found himself wishing he’d had this meal with just Eliza. It was difficult to really talk to her with the two children present.

  However, he did enjoy the laughter Sammy and Katie added to the meal. He learned Katie wanted to be an actress when she grew up and her favorite foods included mac and cheese and ice cream with pink sprinkles.

  Sammy’s favorite foods were cheeseburgers, pizza and chocolate chip cookies that his mother baked. He didn’t know what he wanted to be when he grew up, but he liked puzzle questions and math.

  What Troy didn’t learn was what had happened to Eliza’s marriage, or how difficult it must be to raise a blind son. He would have liked to find out what her favorite color was and what else might make her happy besides her children.

  Then he inwardly shook himself for wanting to know all those things about her. He needed to stay in his own lane where she was concerned.

  Still, it was a fun night that ended too quickly as far as he was concerned. As they stepped out of the pizza place to head to his car in the parking lot, a little hand slipped into his.

  He froze, thrown back to the last time he’d felt a small hand in his. He gazed down at the little girl next to him and for a brief moment he had a flash of dancing blond curls and bright blue eyes.

  An exuberant happiness filled him, dashed quickly by a stab of pain as the vision of his daughter quickly faded away. “Mr. Troy, thank you for the pizza,” Katie said, and then released her hold on his fingers.

  “Yes, thank you,” Sammy echoed. He walked right next to his mother, his hand on her arm as he navigated the unfamiliar ground to get to the car.

  “You’re welcome, and it’s nice that you both have such good manners,” he said.

  “Mommy believes good manners are very important,” Sammy said.

  “I agree with her.” He shot Eliza a smile. God, she was so pretty and didn’t even seem aware of her own attractiveness. The night had seemed so easy, so effortless with her.

  They got back into the car, and before long he pulled up in her driveway. The kids ran ahead of them to the front door. “Thank you, Troy,” she said as she pulled her keys out of her purse. “Both of you get your jammies on. You can have a half an hour of television time before bed,” she said as she unlocked the door. Sammy and Katie ran inside and she turned back to face him.

  “It was a fun evening.”

  “It was. Your children are great kids and both of them seem very bright.”

  She laughed. “Thank you. I think so, but I’m more than a little biased where they are concerned.”

  “As you should be.” When she laughed like that, when she smiled, he wanted to get closer to her. Something about her definitely drew him to her.

  Dusk had begun to fall, painting her features in a warm golden light. Would it be bad manners to steal a kiss without asking permission first? He so wanted to kiss her. Without thinking any more about it he simply leaned forward and captured her mouth with his.

  Her lips were warm and inviting. Even though he wanted to wrap her in his arms and pull her closer to him, despite the fact that he wanted to deepen the kiss, he kept it light and fast.

  “Thanks, Eliza, for a great evening,” he said when he broke the kiss and stepped back from her.

  Her features radiated surprise and her cheeks took on the pink hue of a blush, but she didn’t look displeased by his kiss. “Good night, Troy.” She slipped into the house and closed the door behind her.

  He returned to his car and pulled into his own driveway. His heart was light. He felt...happy. He hadn’t felt like this in years. He unlocked his front door and went directly to his recliner chair and sat.

  He replayed the evening in his mind, smiling as he thought of the laughter they had all shared. He hadn’t been kidding when he’d told her both the kids were bright, and they also both had a great sense of humor.

  The night had only whetted his appetite to learn more about Eliza, to spend more time with her. And he thought she might feel the same way about him.

  It was as if he suffered from some sort of split personality disorder where she was concerned. Part of him wanted to explore the crazy-good feelings she gave him, but the other part warned him away.

  Thoughts of that moment when Katie had slipped her hand into his intruded. Instantly a vision of
another little girl filled his head.

  Annie.

  A special kind of agony filled him. What in the hell was he doing feeling happy...looking for more happiness when he didn’t deserve it? The last thing Eliza and her children needed in their lives was him.

  He was a monster and wasn’t good for anyone. There were days he wasn’t sure he could live with himself.

  He didn’t deserve anything good because the bottom line was that he’d killed his daughter.

  Chapter Four

  “I like Mr. Troy,” Katie said as Eliza tucked her in later that evening.

  “He seems like a very nice man,” Eliza agreed. And the nice man’s kiss had both surprised and electrified her. She’d scarcely had time to process it since she’d been home.

  “Good night, sweetheart,” she said to her daughter and planted a kiss on her forehead. “Sleep tight.”

  “Night, Mommy,” Katie replied.

  She’d already tucked in Sammy so she headed directly into her own bedroom. It wasn’t until she was in bed that she permitted herself to think again about the delicious, heart-stopping and all-too-brief kiss.

  Why had he done it? It had definitely changed the relationship from friendly neighbors to something more. But what was he looking for from her? And why was she so excited to find out?

  She reached up and touched her lips, remembering the wonderful sensation of his mouth over hers. His lips had been soft and tender, yet with a sense of command that had been thrilling. A shiver raced through her as she wondered what it would be like to share a longer, deeper kiss with Troy.

  He hadn’t mentioned going out again. He hadn’t even mentioned seeing her again. Maybe the kiss hadn’t meant anything to him. Perhaps it had just been a friendly peck as far as he was concerned. She shouldn’t get ahead of herself thinking about doing it again with him.

  Still, the kiss had reminded her that she was more than a mom. She was more than just a good website designer. She was a woman who had been alone for a long time. Troy had awakened the woman inside her.