My eyes opened, and I smiled. Inner beauty counted, but being at peace with the outside felt damn good too.
Legs crossed, hands cupping my chin, the rhythmic sounds of Ana sleeping soothed me. Dawn came and went, but moving seemed insurmountable. There was so much to do. It made me tired, knowing they expected me to figure out what the hell we were going to do.
Breandan suffered. Tomas’ phantom lurked in the shadows. Kalcifer somehow lost half his Pack to the Loa and demanded vengeance. The raptor Clan forsook us, not that I considered them a great loss. The Priests refused to broach peace at the urge of Cleric Samuel, a man who’d shown me kindness and proved that humankind was worth fighting for alongside demonkind. The goblin Horde never attended the Meet, and their Chief presumed dead at the hands of Gwendolyn, the vampire Queen Wasp wanted dead to avenge Devlin. Conall’s burden of guilt grew the longer Cael’s fate remained a mystery and his malicious attack went unpunished. Byron, Amelia and Nimah’s werelynx father was dead. Alec was Pride Alpha now, and in love with Maeve. Though I worried about his future, I felt proud. He’d confessed when we’d met how he felt about Maeve before she knew he existed. Wonderful in theory, their union was a nightmare in reality. Dying, I’d thrust the responsibilities of High Priestess at Maeve thinking her the logical choice. It was huge obligation, and the Tribe needed her guidance in readjusting to Devlin’s sudden death, and Lochlann’s accession to power. The High Lord wanted answers from me, as always. I swear, Lochlann was more stubborn than ever because of his desire for Daphne. She’d turned his self-righteous preaching on its head. He irritated me, but we’d made a goodly attempt at peace with each other, and I wanted him happy. If he’d allow himself to take Daphne as a life mate remained unknown. Will the Tribe accept a vampire High Lady?
Things could no longer fall as they may. If I had to moan, nitpick, interfere and made a general nuisance of myself for a life with Breandan, high gods, I’d be the loudest, nosiest bitch of them all.
First, I needed answers. I needed to see what to do.
I possessed more power than before. I felt it coursing through my veins, simmering my blood. I no longer needed the Source to channel magics. Like the Loa godlings, I was a Source. So was Breandan. Our ascension to divinity was a mistake, a side effect of the bond tightly linking us.
As I’d crossed into the Otherworld Breandan readily followed, but with the last of my life I’d pushed him back.
A divine spirit encased in mortal form made a godling. The celestial essence transformed the corporeal vessel into a being with profound strength.
How strong I’d become was a mystery. My magics had been volatile and uncontrollable at the best of times, a failing in me. My lack of training and reluctance to embrace my purpose hindered my aptitude, limiting the scope of my power. Now I possessed a better idea of my capabilities. I wasn’t frightened of what lurked inside me.
A lot hinged on the witch snuggled in the bed, yet, I hesitated to wake her. We all deserved a measure of peace, even if it only amounted to some sleep.
Shifting to all fours, I decided to investigate the lower level of Conall’s dwelling. Who knew when I’d get a chance at a private exploration of my brother’s inner domain?
“I’d do it again,” Ana croaked.
I quelled a smile at the sound of her voice. Face stern when my head lifted, I turned on my hunches and pinned her with a fierce look.
She cracked an eyelid to watch my reaction. The orb remained solid white, the sparkle I used to see absent. The ritual consumed all the vitality she’d possessed. She nearly killed herself.
Anger surged within me and my skin lit as if a candle, flooding the room with energy. My power seeped out in waves of light and heat that sank into Conall’s home. The walls sprouted leaves and flowers, grass grew from the floor and moss crept up the bed. Life poured from me and settled where it could until I dampened my emotions and reeled back the power.
Ana’s fingers twitched on the furs. “We needed you. I’m not sorry.”
Picking myself up, I crossed the room and lay beside her.
Ana smiled, cautiously eyeing me, waiting to be hauled over the coals.
And I would’ve shouted if I hadn’t experienced the receiving end of similar reprimands myself. Ana was impulsive and a rule breaker. It would be hypocritical to judge and act as if I’d never done anything as brainless on impulse.
People did seemingly irresponsible stuff. The trick to not going crazy by their apparent lack of sense was to get over it. Offering advice to someone I considered needed help was fine, but demanding she think exactly like me was pointless. Her uniqueness was as important as mine. Ana’s way of dealing with my death was scary from my perspective, but understandable from hers.
I shifted closer until we bumped noses, both sinking into the soft middle of the mattress.
The space between my brows wrinkled in mock disgust, and I pushed lank hair off her face. “You look gross.”
She wheezed a laugh and tried to thump her chest with her hand. She relived the horror of losing it as the stump hit her chest ineffectively. She stared at it then shoved her hand between her legs and visibly erased the moment from her mind. “If you’re going to moan you can leave.”
“We both know I’ve done much worse and will probably do worse in future.” I batted my eyelashes. “Next time cut me some slack, okay?”
Gingerly taking her ruined wrist between my palms, I pushed energy into the chilled limb.
Ana choked a sob and stared wide-eyed as her fleshy stump pinkened then began to grow. Her hand regenerated, and within moments she flexed her fingers, tears streaming across her temples and wetting the bedding.
“Never repeat that ritual,” I said. “Burn the page from the grimoire if the temptation is too much.”
I planned to lock the book of witchcraft with the amulets then assign them new protectors as soon as I straightened out Maeve.
Ana didn’t need to know that in case she did something rash.
“But it worked.”
“Attempt to pervert destiny again and you’ll be punished.” My voice turned hard. Uncompromising. She needed to comprehend the depth of her transgression, and the significance of meddling beyond her gift of Sight. “Merciless forces will descend upon you. Even my power combined with Breandan’s won’t save you. Understand?” I held her gaze. “Never again, Ana.”
Swallowing throatily, eyes fixed on her new hand, she nodded. “Promise.”
I flashed a smile without teeth.
Leaning on my elbows, I undid her messy braid. I finger combed her blonde hair then began re-plaiting it. “Now you’re feeling better and looking less like a corpse–” she stuck out her tongue, “–I need your help. I need to see.”
Her gaze darted to my face in question. Her eyes slid side to side as she nibbled her lip already witnessing multiple outcomes of my request and judging how to respond. “See what?”
A chill swept through the room.
I can’t say I was taken aback when the phantom coalesced in the shadows of the room watching me.
He’d been following me since we’d been brought back.
Waiting.
I knotted the end of Ana’s braid and lifted her chin with my finger to direct her attention from Tomas to me. I let loose the fear I held at bay until it soaked the air. “Everything. I need to see everything.”
CHAPTER TEN
Lochlann
Shifting weight onto my back leg, a smile teased my lips at the sight of Conall directing a troop of fresh-faced Knights. Dressed in regimented armour their green faces were alight with excitement. Some chattered restlessly between themselves. Others stared at the Warrior deigning to address them with rapt attention, eager to hear his words and be proved worthy.
The menacing pulsation of dark energy heralded Breandan’s arrival moments before he stopped beside me. “I remember a time when you and Conall were my heroes.”
I hummed to myself remembering the days Breandan hung on
my every word, clipping my heels trying to follow me. “Were?”
Little brother laughed. “Wrong tense.”
“Verily?” I studied him. “Then for old times sake strive to please me, Breandan. Tell me how long must we play games?”
“My intention is not to be difficult. Neither is hers.” He scrubbed a hand over his head. I noticed for the first time he let his dark hair grow. He’d cut it short since adolescence. It pleased me he no longer butchered his male beauty. “Brother, I–”
“Walk.” I strode off.
Breandan followed without question. It made me pine for the old days when he listened to me in all things.
I hadn’t acted fast enough because the Pack Alpha spotted us and stormed in our direction.
“Lochlann.” Kalcifer quickened his step. He nodded at Breandan. “We need to speak.”
I spared him a look then grimaced at the determination etching his expression. “I told Kian–”
“Your underling gave me your message.” Kalcifer held out an arm. “This can’t wait until the Meet.”
“I will see you at Conall’s dwelling,” Breandan murmured lengthening his stride to separate from us.
Hands clasping my hips I stifled a groan. Another delay. I motioned Kalcifer on. “I’m listening.”
“The wolves in my Pack with alpha potential left with the Loa.”
Shock drained the tension from my body. My hands dropped to hang loose at my sides. “Beg pardon?”
Mouth thinned to a straight slash across his face, grimly satisfied at my reaction, Kalcifer nodded. “They followed the moths.”
“Why?”
“Why?” He thrust his face in mine. A vein running down the middle of his forehead bulged. “I don’t know. I came for help with the witches and lost half my Pack. My best fighters are gone. How am I to return to the Den and face their mates? What do I tell them?”
I understood the extent of his distress, yet propriety demanded I be respected in the Wyld. The cutting look I levelled his way caused him to retreat the hasty step taken in anger.
Shifters react only to clear displays of authority.
I closed the short distance he reneged to establish my dominance. “Raising your voice to me is a mistake.”
Kalcifer clamped a hand over his mouth. Breaking the standoff, he rubbed his bristled jaw. “I apologise.” His green eyes intensified in hue, affected by strong emotion. “The younger wolves look to me for answers. I have none. None of your people know what’s going on, and you refuse to tell me.”
Hearing my woes echoed in his fretting, I clapped his shoulder. “Give me time to speak to Rae then you and I will speak at length. You came to our aid, and stayed when things turned dark. I haven’t forgotten. I promise my kind will help yours.” As I made the vow the air thickened with magics.
Kalicfer shuddered. His eyes brimmed with relief. “I’ll wait.”
“See Lily. She is the Wyld Warden, and will find you and your wolves dwellings to sleep in.” I gestured to the woods. “You may hunt whatever game you wish.”
Murmuring thanks, Kalcifer strolled away with an improved demeanour. He looks less as if he will claw his own face off.
Certain by the time I reached Conall’s dwelling Breandan would have secreted Rae away, I barked a laugh when he was absent, and found her descending the carved steps with Ana trailing behind, a warren at her feet.
“At last,” I muttered, my gaze sweeping side to side, fully expecting some calamity to befall me further stalling the imminent conversation. “Rae.”
A mountain of bear lifted from the ground and growled at my encroachment.
There are some shifters I cannot intimidate.
“Baako,” I acknowledged, freezing in my tracks.
He rumbled and sat heavily. His melanoid eyes cut to Rae who gave him a thumb up.
The witch went to the bear looking particularly apologetic. He chuffed, and she rubbed his furred back, cooing. He rolled over to offer his belly. She vigorously scratched him, her peal of laughter a sound of genuine happiness.
Squaring her shoulders, Rae stalked up to me. “Not today. Tomorrow.” With that cryptic announcement, she peeked around me. “Have you seen Breandan?”
Without waiting for an answer, she wandered off.
I fought past my bewilderment. “What are you saying?” I grabbed her arm and hauled her back. “I have to wait another day for you to stop messing around? I still have no answers to give to the people who need my guidance because you want more time? To do what?”
Baako gained his paws sooner than his immense size implied feasible. He stopped growling when Rae dragged a finger over her throat. Grumbling, his snout dropped in disappointment.
Rae placed both of her soft hands on my cheeks. The glow surrounding her brightened, and a sense of peace filtered through my ire.
I frowned, pulled, but she was absurdly strong.
“I’m saying you’re freakishly tall.” She yanked until my back arched. “Now I can look you in the eye without straining my neck.”
“Not funny.”
“What I’m saying You Who Have No Sense Of Humour is that you don’t know when to give it a rest. I’m saying we’re going to eat, drink, dance, and do bad things.”
Starting, I flushed and again tried to free my head.
Teeth exposed in an affronted snarl, she dug her talons into my cheeks until they caved. My lips pushed out uncomfortably. “High Gods, not you and me. I’m taken. Remember? I meant bad things with different people.” She rolled her gold eyes. “That I have to explain that to you is sad.”
“Iamnotsad.” My words escaped as a garbled stream of nonsense since her hand mashed my mouth into a strange shape.
“Shut up.”
Affronted by the imperious command, I yanked my head free. “Who do you think–”
“Quiet.” She paused. “You make me be rude to you because you don’t know when to let others be heard.”
Huffing, I flicked a wrist.
She stared at my hand, incredulous. “There’s no point explaining what you did was conceited is there?” Her mouth pursed, and she slanted me a look. “I tried that wrist flick with Baako. Shall I do to you what he did to me and see how you react?”
“Speak sense,” I ordered.
“Look at that sunset, so pretty. We’re going to remind ourselves what we’re fighting for.” She made a box with her hands around her eyes. “The hostility is reaching obscene proportions. We have tunnel vision and it’s making us crazy.”
“I am sane. I know what I’m fighting for.”
“Tonight and tomorrow we rest. Then I’ll tell you what we’re going to do to save the Wyld, and anybody else’s home who comes for help against the Loa.”
The frustration I’d dampened fired my blood. My heart thumped harder. “It sounds like a waste of valuable time.” My voice rose angrily. “Our enemies plot against us, and you wish to frolic.”
She gripped my arm. “Lochlann–”
“Put yourself in my position.” I moderated my tone, so it was quiet, and solemn to impress the severity of the burden I carried. “I have responsibilities. Duties I cannot forestall or disregard. People look to me for leadership, and I am obligated to provide it. I seek your advice, but I won’t wait without reasonable justification. Especially as you seem in two minds about being returned to us.”
“I’m not being pulled into two directions anymore.” She gnawed the corner of her lip with a small fang. “Okay, I admit silence wasn’t the best way to handle my resurrection. I freaked and needed time. Then I got the scary impression everyone expected me to have answers on how to deal with the Loa.”
“Why didn’t you?”
She blinked. “Lochlann, I resurrected moments after they broke free of the Otherworld.”
“Yes, but they are….” I gestured up and down her glowing body. “You and little brother are the same as them.”
“Their spirits are divine like ours, yeah, but their powers and
influence in the corporeal world are different.” A stressed look came in her eye. “And they spent countless years in the Otherworld imbibing power from worship.”
“I do not understand?”
“Swear what I tell you will never be used against me or Breandan?”
I palmed my heart, felt it slow, such was the depth of my honour. “I swear it.”
“When Breandan pulled the dagger from my chest and eased up enough to let me walk the circle I became aware of, um, currents. Energy that ranged from insubstantial to torrential poured off you all into Breandan and me.”
“These currents … I have one?”
She nodded. “A growing one connected to me, and a thick one anchored to Breandan. The only demons not feeding us were a couple of your lesser Knights outside the circle.” She rubbed her temple. “Honestly, it’s painful.”
“This energy you see, it is magics?”
A line appeared between her brows. “I think it’s the stuff creating magics.”
“The Source creates magics.”
“And what feeds it?”
“Life, and the energy of living things. When we die we nourish the Source. In turn, it gives us magics.”
“Godlings don’t need to touch the Source to wield magics, Lochlann.”
“You have magics. I feel it beating against me.”
“I said don’t need to, not can’t.”
A chill iced my spine until my limbs and insides radiated cold. “You are a Source.”
Little brother is a Source.
“Breathe. The colour of your face is clashing with your hair, and it’s freaking me out.”
“Could I draw from you?”
She jerked a shoulder. “I wouldn’t think a godling equal to the Source just not dependent on it.” Her attention turned inward. “It’s still a sun just out of sight. I doubt anything can outshine it.”
“What feeds you?”
“Me personally?” She blushed, smiling shyly. “Adoration. Breandan’s emotions are exhilarating. They make me strong.”
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