If You Hear Her: A Novel of Romantic Suspense

by Walker, Shiloh

  Focus—he needed to focus.

  He shoved all of that out of his mind and looked up, staring at the nurse, who was still there, holding that damned syringe in her hand. “Why don’t we step outside?” he suggested softly.

  Reaction settled in and left Hope shaking. Grabbing the blankets, she hauled them up and huddled under them like a rabbit. Staring out the narrow window, she wished she could just fade away, fade away and disappear. Forever.

  But she knew she couldn’t.

  She might have escaped another forced dose of some sedative, but this wasn’t done.

  That was the lawyer.

  Remy Jennings.

  She remembered him.

  He was probably here to get her to say something, make it easier for them to arrest her.

  “IS THERE ANYTHING LEFT?”

  A cool breeze kicked up, blowing her hair back from her face. She could smell the scent of wet, charred wood, grass, and the coming promise of fall.

  Next to her, Ezra sighed. “The frame of the house, walls. That sort of thing. Sure as hell doesn’t look like much of anything can be saved.”

  She caught his hand and squeezed. “I’m sorry.”

  “Thanks.” He laced his fingers with hers.

  “It was a waste of time, wasn’t it?”

  “What?”

  She lifted a shoulder, shrugging. “Well, if whoever did this had anything to do with that woman, if they burned this place down, thinking that would make you leave, it was a waste of time. You’re not going to leave as easy as that, right?”

  Ezra chuckled. It was a hoarse, rusty sound. “Hell, no, I’m not leaving. Guess I’m going to have to look for a place to rent, though.”

  “You got the money for that?”

  After a brief pause, he said, “Yeah. I’m good on that front. My grandmother … well, let’s just say she hid it well, but she knew how to play with money.”

  She wasn’t even aware the fear had been there until it loosened inside her heart. Wasn’t aware she’d had the fear until it seeped away. He wasn’t leaving. Closing her eyes, she leaned against his arm. It felt good, she realized. Leaning on somebody. Leaning on him.

  Maybe it wasn’t such a bad thing, to lean on somebody. Maybe he’d even lean on her every now and then.

  Tired, Lena whispered, “Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I hadn’t woken up that night. Would any of this have happened?”

  Ezra pulled her in front of him, cupped her face. When he stroked one thumb over her lower lip, she sighed and shivered. “Well, I know one thing that might not have happened,” he said quietly. He dipped his head and brushed his mouth against hers.

  “This.” He nibbled on her lower lip and then lifted his head a little. With his brow pressed to hers, he said, “Seeing you at the sheriff’s office made me open my eyes. Maybe I would have done it sooner or later anyway, maybe not. But I’m not sorry I saw you there and I wouldn’t have seen you there if you had slept the night through.”

  Then he straightened. With strong, steady strokes, he moved his hands down, rubbing them down her arms, then back up. “Besides, if you waking up that night is what is bringing all this on, then it’s a good thing. Sooner or later, he’s going to screw up—that’s how he’ll be caught. And stopped. Keep that in mind when you start getting mad, frustrated, or scared.”

  “Mad. Frustrated. Scared.” She slid her arms around his waist and pressed close. “That pretty much describes my state of mind at any given time anymore.”

  In a low, heated voice, she added, “I fucking hate it. All this shit, it’s in my head almost all the time and I can’t turn it off, can’t stop it, and it’s driving me nuts.”

  Her voice cracked as she whispered, “Damn it, Ezra. What is this? What else is going to happen? Your house. Prather—hell, he was an ass but I didn’t want him dead. Law almost gets beaten to death. Hope’s locked up like some lunatic on the crazy floor at the county hospital and they’re talking like Remy might have to arrest her. I just don’t get it. I don’t understand any of it.”

  “Lena.” He closed his eyes. Shit. Blowing out a breath, he eased back and cupped her face in his hands. Stroking his thumb over the full curve of her lower lip, he murmured, “I don’t know what’s going on with Law or Hope, but … well, what happened here, it’s not related to anything else, I don’t think. I can’t prove it, but I’m almost positive.”

  Her brow puckered. “What do you mean?”

  “Just call it instinct. I can’t say anything else about it until I know, but I don’t think the fire is related to what happened at Law’s house. None of it.”

  “But …”

  Dipping his head, he bussed her mouth. “Stop,” he whispered against her lips. “You’ve got enough on your mind right now. Just stop worrying about the house. It’s just a house, anyway.”

  She rested her hands on his chest, stroked upward. Resting one hand on his cheek, she shook her head. “It wasn’t just a house to you, Ezra. It was your grandma’s house. Don’t tell me that didn’t mean something to you. You might not talk about this place much, but I hear your voice when you talk about her. She meant a lot to you.”

  “Yeah. She did. And she’d be glad that nobody was hurt, before anything else,” Ezra said, turning his face to her palm and kissing it. He couldn’t deny the ache in his chest, though. Looking up, he studied the rubble and what little remained of the house his grandma had been so proud of. The important stuff, like his grandma’s quilts, her wedding picture, those things had been given to his mother or aunts. Thank God.

  The house itself, yeah, it had meant something and he was madder than hell over the destruction of the pretty old house.

  But as he stood there with Lena in his arms, he found himself thinking about Hope and Law.

  Hell, what if Nielson hadn’t had that weird instinct to check on Hope and Law? Either of them, both of them might be dead.

  What if he’d left Lena at the house when he went to investigate the fire?

  What if the bastard had gone to Lena’s house instead of over to Law’s?

  It might have been Lena lying in a pool of blood.

  Involuntarily, he tightened his arms. Raggedly, he whispered, “Shit, Lena. I don’t think I ever want to do without you in my life, you know that?”

  It just wasn’t thinkable.

  Not anymore.

  How had this happened?

  So quick.

  So strong.

  So certain.

  Lifting his head, he cupped her chin and guided her face up. “Ever,” he muttered.

  She sighed against his mouth as he kissed her and when she twined her arms around his neck, aligned her body to his, his heart stuttered, skipped a few beats.

  She already mattered so much.

  Meant so much.

  Everything.

  Distantly, he heard a car motor and he swore, lifting his head to watch as a truck rolled past, driving at about half the speed limit. Even from here, he could see the driver and the passenger gawking.

  “Let’s go back to your place,” he mumbled against her lips. “This is a regular tourist attraction out here.”

  He cruised along down the narrow little country highway, easily navigating the sharp, winding curves in his big, white van. He could see the back of King’s pickup truck up ahead of him. Part of him wanted to get closer. And when he saw King turn off onto Lena’s driveway, he was tempted to drive just far enough down the road and do a U-turn, come back, watch them.

  For now … they had their hands full. Things were a mess, although one thing was certain—they weren’t thinking so much about screams, and he doubted they were so curious about the woods or what secrets they might find there.

  Things hadn’t exactly gone according to plan, but regardless, these thorns in his side were now focused on other issues.

  And that gave him the time he needed to make sure he had dealt with his issues.

  Caution.

  It was all a
bout caution, after all.

  If he had been more cautious in the beginning, none of this would have happened.

  True, he’d had some fun and he didn’t regret it, but in the future, he’d be much, much more careful.

  So instead of turning around, going back to Lena’s house, he kept driving. And because it amused him, when he neared Deb Sparks’s house, he slowed down to a near crawl until he saw her shadow in the window. The curtains parted. Fluttered. She disappeared and then he chuckled to himself, slid a hand back over his smooth scalp.

  Yes, he had to be cautious, but he could still have fun. And it was a lot of fun to toy with Deb, always had been.

  Part of him wanted to toy with Lena, the same way he often toyed with Deb.

  But again … caution.

  The police radio started to crackle.

  He’d be long gone before the first cruiser even got here.

  As Ezra came to a stop in front of her place, Lena asked softly, “So how much are you wishing you hadn’t ever decided to move here?”

  “Not even a little.” He pulled the keys out of the ignition and opened the door. She was already climbing out by the time he got around the truck. Caging her in, he leaned in and rubbed his lips against hers. “Fucked up as everything is, I’m where I want to be, Lena. That’s all there is to it.”

  Her sigh caressed his mouth. “You’re a strange man, Ezra.”

  “No. Just one who’s willing to deal with the bad shit. You got to take the good with the bad, darlin’. That’s how life plays out.”

  She laughed, but it was a sad, lost sound. “The good with the bad. There’s a dead woman, a dead cop, my best friend is in the hospital, and one of his best friends is being held in the psych unit. Your house gets burned to a crisp. That’s an awful lot of bad shit. Where’s the good to balance it out?”

  “Right here.” He hooked a hand around the nape of her neck and touched his brow to hers. “I’ve got all the good I need right here.”

  “Ezra, honey, I’ve got to tell you, I’m flattered, but I don’t think I’m good enough to balance out that much bad shit.”

  “Yeah. You are.” He caught her mouth in a soft, slow kiss, ending it with a series of lighter, teasing kisses that he brushed over her cheek in a trail up to her ear. “Here’s the thing—this bad shit? It’s going to pass. It will. Always does. But I plan on sticking with you, so you’re always going to be here.”

  Reluctantly, she smiled. “You sound so sure of this. How can you be so sure of this? Of us?”

  “Because it just feels too right. Nothing’s ever felt quite as right as you do, baby,” Ezra murmured, nuzzling her neck. “You’ll figure it out, too. But until you do, I don’t mind waiting.”

  I’ll figure it out? Hell, the guy already had her heart melting in his hands. But Lena, as much as part of her wanted to make that jump, had caution bred into her. Bringing one hand to his face, she said, “You’re doing a pretty good job of convincing me, Slick.”

  Rising on her toes, she pressed her mouth to his. “Now … maybe I could convince you to come inside … and take me to bed.”

  No convincing was needed, but Ezra doubted he needed to tell her that. Trailing after her, he waited while she took Puck off his leash and although his hands itched to touch her, although he ached to hold her, he waited by the door while she played with the dog for a few minutes.

  The moment the retriever came off the leash, he was like a puppy, bouncing around and wagging his tail like crazy. Lena chuckled and said, “Yeah, I know. It’s been a crazy few days, hasn’t it, boy? Maybe we’ll take a walk later.”

  When she straightened and turned to face him, he crossed the floor and reached up, drawing the dark glasses from her face and putting them on the table. Then he dipped his head, pressed his mouth to her brow. Her lashes fluttered low, shielding her eyes. He pressed a kiss to each closed eye and then skimmed his lips along one cheekbone down to her mouth.

  “Wasn’t that long ago I didn’t even know you,” he muttered against her lips. “Now I can’t think about going through even one day without seeing you.”

  He cupped her breasts in his hands. “Touching you.”

  He caught her lower lip between his teeth and tugged on it gently. “Kissing you. Tasting you.”

  “Ezra.” She whispered his name, her voice shaking, husky with hunger. Sliding her hands up his chest, she linked them behind his neck. Need had her shaking. The tenderness in his voice, the gentleness in his hands made her heart clench and ache in the most beautiful way.

  Tears burned her eyes as he cradled her face in his hands and took her mouth with his. “Nothing happens to you,” he said against her lips and the words were like a promise and a plea, all at once. “You understand?”

  “I understand.” She slid her fingers into his hair. “Same goes, though, Slick. Nothing happens to you.”

  They started toward the steps, and a walk that normally took just seconds took five minutes and they left a trail of clothing behind them. Her shirt was off before they hit the staircase. His followed shortly after. When they hit the landing, he stopped her to remove her shoes and jeans, and when she would have climbed a few stairs, he stopped her with his hands on her hips, pressing a kiss to her spine, and then another, inching lower and lower.

  Each light kiss left her quivering. When he reached the small of her back, her knees melted.

  As she grabbed onto the handrail, Lena’s head fell back and she swayed, certain she was going to collapse, fall into a puddle at his feet if he didn’t stop.

  His lips brushed against her left buttock, his teeth raking over her skin lightly. She opened her mouth, to beg, to plead … something.

  But he turned her around and whatever words she’d been about to say died in her throat as he nuzzled her between her thighs. Through the cotton of her panties, she could feel his tongue.

  She went to push them down and he caught her wrists. “Not yet,” he murmured, kissing the inside of her left wrist, then her right. “Not yet …”

  She would have groaned in frustration but he was already on his feet, covering her mouth with his, and any sound she might have made faded away under his kiss. Oh, could he kiss. She loved his kisses, could get lost in them. Sighing into his mouth, she leaned against him and curled an arm around his neck.

  He stroked his tongue against hers and she nipped him lightly, then sucked on him. He growled and the sound had her shivering all the way down to her toes. He tore his mouth away from hers, resting his brow against hers. “Bed,” he muttered. “Right now.”

  “Bed,” she agreed.

  Ezra took her mouth again, tangling his hand in her hair, the other hand curving over the sleek curve of her hip, holding her steady as he rocked against her. His cock ached and his balls drew tight, heavy against his body in warning.

  Shit, she totally shattered his control, made him feel like a teenager. Made him forget everyone, everything. But her. She was all that existed for him.

  Tearing his mouth away, he let her go and said again, “Bed.”

  She laughed, a slow, female smile curling her lips and then she turned, one hand resting on the banister. He waited where he was until she was five feet away, but that in itself was its own sweet torture.

  He stared at the narrow, delicate curve of her hips and ass, his mouth watering. The simple black cotton of her panties rode low on her hips and he wanted to peel that barrier away—maybe with his teeth—and spread her out on the bed, stare at her, at each and every curve, learn them all over again, with his eyes, his hands, his mouth.

  His cock jerked and he pressed his hand against it, swearing.

  Starting up the stairs, he followed her into her bedroom. He paused in the doorway only long enough to strip out of his jeans and boxer briefs, tossing them into the corner so she wouldn’t trip over them if she got up before he remembered to move them.

  As she neared the bed, he came up behind her and slid his hands up, cupping her breasts. She arched int
o his hands, a soft, shaky sigh escaping her lips.

  Pressing his mouth to her nape, he murmured, “I love you.”

  A soft flush turned her cheeks pink. A nervous smile curled her lips. “Ah … yeah. I’m starting to believe that. And I’m starting to think maybe I love you, too.”

  It hit him, like a sucker punch straight to the heart.

  Shaken, he hauled her against him and sank down on the edge of the bed. Burying his face against her hair, he rocked her. “Serious?”

  Her hands stroked his arms. “Yeah. I’m not much for saying things I don’t mean either, Ezra. I’m serious. I don’t entirely understand it … none of this makes sense and it’s happening so fast, but yeah, I mean it.”

  She shifted and squirmed around in his lap until they faced each other. Lifting her hands, she stroked them over his face, over the straight slashes of his eyebrows, his cheekbones, the hard, firm curve of his mouth. Dipping her head, she pressed her lips to that mouth. “As crazy as my life has been the past couple of weeks, it feels … complete. And it’s because you’re in it.”

  “Lena …” His mouth moved against hers, but other than her name, he said nothing.

  But Ezra couldn’t figure out what he wanted to say. There were words—a hundred of them, a thousand. But he couldn’t figure out what they were.

  Her hands came up, pushing on his shoulders, easing him back on the bed. He fell back, staring up at her. Two seconds later, his breath lodged in his lungs as she reached down and closed cool, slender fingers around his cock. She tucked the head against her entrance and his eyes damn near crossed as she started to sink down on him.

  Skin on skin … nothing between them. Shit, shit …

  “Lena, condom.”

  She stilled.

  Staring up at her, he gripped her hips. Hell, she felt so good. Silky and sleek and soft.

  “Do we need it?” she asked quietly. “I’m not going to get pregnant—not right now. And other than that, there’s nothing else I need to worry about.”

  Bad idea—

  It was the capital of bad ideas. Involuntarily, his hips jerked and he sank another inch inside her satiny depths. “No. I’m clean, but … fuck.”