Damaged

by Nina D'Angelo

  She just wished people weren’t getting hurt in the process. Before tonight was over, at least two hearts would be broken. And, she thought with remorse, Ben’s would be one of them.

  Taking a deep breath, she pressed answer and lifted the phone to her ear. Not bothering to greet him, she said softly, “Ben, we need to talk.”

  DOMINIC LET GO of Sandra’s hand as soon as they were inside his office, and moved around his desk to settle into his black leather chair. He leaned back. “We need to talk,” he said softly.

  Sandra leaned against the door, locking it. Smiling playfully when Dominic frowned at the sound of the distinctive click of the door locking, she walked towards him. Perching on the edge of his desk, she angled her body forward, confident she’d be able to make Dominic forget about the redhead in the bar.

  “About what?” she asked, casually lifting a strand of her hair and curling it around her finger.

  Sandra had followed Stephanie around for a whole day and had been impressed by her. Stephanie was intelligent, confident, and moved through life as if she were on a mission. She was everything Sandra hoped to be. Sandra had copied the notes Stephanie had left for Detective Foley, determined to find out as much as she could about the woman who was so intent on destroying her happiness. She’d been stunned by the clear and concise way Stephanie had linked each crime to one another.

  She was different, Sandra thought, her lips curling. She saw darkness, where others saw light. People who tapped into that kind of darkness had demons inside them that would never disappear.

  Dominic didn’t deserve a woman like that. He didn’t deserve someone so entrenched in blood and death that it would never wash off. The LAPD thought they were dealing with a damaged, irrational girl. From what she’d seen and read of Stephanie, she was anything but. She was kind of scary.

  Sandra almost felt a kinship with her. She knew that the old dinosaurs within the LAPD would have just tossed her files into a drawer without even looking at them. They’d dismissed her simply because she was a woman. If Stephanie hadn’t been such a threat to her own happiness, she may have even liked her, but she threatened everything Sandra had planned for Dominic and herself. She wouldn’t allow Stephanie to continue to be a threat.

  Dominic leaned back in his chair, irritated by Sandra’s games. He hated when she played dumb. She was anything but. He’d seen her glance Stephanie’s way, and the anger and the displeasure in her eyes had slightly unnerved him. She knew about Stephanie.

  Running his eyes over her lithe frame, his lips curved into a sardonic smile when she almost preened under his gaze. Sandra knew she was beautiful. Or, at least, she was on the outside. On the inside, she wasn’t quite as pretty. In fact, she could be downright vicious when crossed, especially where women were concerned. She saw every woman as her competition.

  He shuddered at the thought of what would happen if she crossed swords with Stephanie. Both women were strong, forceful personalities, but Stephanie went through life treating everyone fairly, whereas Sandra used every dirty tactic possible and rarely played fair. He thanked God he’d always been careful during sex. He wouldn’t put it past her to pull a fake pregnancy.

  “You know what I want to discuss, Sandra. Don’t play dumb. It doesn’t become you,” he drawled, seeing the surprise flitter across her face. “What? Did you really think you could play me?”

  Sandra slid off the edge of the desk, then walked around to sit in front of Dominic. “I would never play you, Dominic. I’ve only ever wanted you to like me for me, but I also know you like them blonde and dumb, and thought it couldn’t hurt to be both. You certainly never complained.”

  “Sandra, I was never around enough to complain,” he said, watching her scoot down further on the desk then balance her feet on each side of his chair. To his disgust, she was still trying to play games. She still thought she could play him.

  “If I moved in with you, then that wouldn’t be a problem,” she murmured, lifting her foot and letting her stiletto drop off. She positioned her foot onto his lap, gently brushing her toes against his groin. He grabbed her foot, pushing it away from him.

  “Quit it, Sandra,” he growled, abruptly shoving his chair back and standing up. Sandra gripped the edges of the desk, unbalanced from when he’d moved. “Get the idea of moving in with me out of your head. It’s not going to happen. And you can forget about seduction. It’s not going to work. Not this time. I told you I wanted to talk, so we’re going to goddamn talk.”

  STEPHANIE STOOD OUTSIDE Ben’s apartment, hesitant to go in. She knew she couldn’t continue leading him on, and letting him believe she felt the same way he did. She couldn’t keep pretending everything was okay, but she didn’t want to hurt him.

  Lifting her hand to knock, she jumped when he suddenly opened the door. Before she could say anything, he dragged her into the apartment. Surprise flooded through her when he closed the door, pressing her against it and kissing her with an urgency she’d never experienced from him before. Closing her eyes, she briefly kissed him back before she broke the kiss by pressing her palms against his chest and gently pushing him away. Lifting her hand to stroke his cheek, she whispered, “That was some welcome.”

  “It feels like forever since I’ve seen you,” Ben whispered, dipping his head to brush his mouth against hers again. “I’ve been so busy trying to land this record deal, I’ve neglected you. I’ve neglected us.”

  “Ben, you haven’t neglected me. You’ve been busy, and so have I. I’ve got my own life and my own career. You don’t owe me anything,” she said softly, stepping away from him and sitting down on his faded leather couch. “We have separate lives, and that’s okay. To be honest, I’ve needed the space.”

  Ben searched her face, desperate for any indication as to what she was feeling inside. She was distant, more so than usual. He’d noticed it lately, especially in the past month. He never really knew what she was thinking, but lately, it had been worse. She’d been guarded, almost secretive about where she went at night, and why. At first, he’d been worried there was another guy in the picture, but he’d pushed that aside. Stephanie wasn’t the kind of girl who would date one guy while hooking up with another. It wasn’t her style. He also liked to think he meant more to her than that. They were friends first, and lovers second.

  He knew he loved her more than she would ever love him. He’d accepted that, just as he’d accepted that there were some aspects of her life she would never share. He knew she had secrets and demons that plagued her. He only hoped that one day she would tell him what they were, and let him help chase them away. He hoped she would let him in.

  Noticing her closed off expression, he wondered if he had been wrong. When she’d called him tonight, there had been such finality in her voice it had scared the hell out of him. It still did.

  Walking across the room of his apartment, he moved into the tiny kitchenette and opened his refrigerator. Pulling out a bottle of Krug Brut Vintage 1988, he looked around the kitchen for cups to pour the champagne into.

  Stephanie watched Ben move around the kitchen, surprised when he pulled out a bottle of champagne from the refrigerator. Standing up, she moved to the kitchen counter, picked up the champagne and read the label. Letting her gaze roam around the apartment, from the faded couch to the secondhand knick-knacks scattered around the apartment shelves, her eyes moved back to the bottle. She knew Ben couldn’t afford to spend money on champagne. He certainly couldn’t afford a bottle that cost him one-third of his rent.

  “I know they’re not fancy, but they’re the only clean glasses I’ve got right now.” Ben laughed, placing a UTSA cup on the counter and plastic mug emblazoned with Outlaws on it.

  Stephanie laughed with him, her laughter quickly dying away when she saw the name emblazoned on the plastic mug. Putting down the bottle of champagne, she picked the plastic mug up, her finger lightly tracing the embossment, reminding her once again of what she was here to do.

  Ben picked up the bot
tle of champagne, walking to the kitchen sink and popping the cork. He laughed again when the champagne bubbled up, overflowing and soaking his fingers. Lifting them to his mouth, he licked them and grinned at Stephanie. “Tonight is a new beginning for me.”

  Crossing the distance between him and Stephanie, he poured some champagne into the UTSA cup, and, taking the hand in which she held the Outlaws cup, slid his own hand over hers. He poured champagne into the cup before placing the champagne bottle back onto the counter. Sliding his arm around Stephanie, he lifted his glass to toast hers. “It’s a new beginning for us,” he vowed, lifting his cup to his lips and swallowing deeply.

  Stephanie, unsure of what was happening or where Ben was leading with all of this, took a sip of her own champagne, enjoying the sharp taste of pinot noir, pinot meunier and chardonnay blended together.

  Ben placed his mug down on the counter. Taking her cup from her hand, he placed that down too before he dipped his head and kissed her gently. Stephanie automatically kissed him back, tasting the sweet champagne on his lips. Breaking the kiss, she said softly, “Ben, I don’t understand. What are we doing? What are we celebrating?”

  He dropped his arm from her waist as he took her hand in his own, and led her back to the couch. “We’re celebrating everything. Life, love and everything that’s magical about this city.”

  “Magical? There’s nothing magical about LA,” she said, shaking her head in disgust. “People come here thinking their dreams are going to come true, and that they’re going to be the next big thing, but it’s only an illusion.”

  “Not for me it’s not,” Ben said, excitement flooding through him. He grinned at her with boyish exuberance. “Babe, I did it. I got a deal.”

  “Callendor?” Stephanie whispered, watching him nod emphatically, his expression one of joy.

  Ben stood up, running a hand through his hair and pacing the room. “I’ve been waiting for this day for so long. I was beginning to think it wouldn’t happen. God knows, I’ve worked my ass off, but it was beginning to . . .” He shook his head in disbelief. “I was at the end of my rope. I was beginning to think my parents were right, and that I was living in a dream world.”

  Breaking off again, he let out a whoop of joy, pumping his fist in the air before he grabbed both her hands and lifted her off the couch into a bear hug. Kissing her passionately, he carefully lowered her onto the ground. “Babe, I went into Callendor Records ready to beg and plead for them to take me, but I didn’t need to. They loved Lethal. They loved me. They want us in the studios as soon as possible, and then they want us to hit the road.”

  “Ben, that’s wonderful. I’m so happy for you. It’s everything you ever wanted,” she said, closing her eyes and pressing her forehead against his.

  “It’s everything I ever wanted for us. This isn’t just me, babe. It’s for both of us. It’s for our future,” Ben whispered back, dropping a kiss onto her bare shoulder. “It means I can leave this rat-infested apartment and move into something bigger. We can move into a place together. A place we can call our own.”

  Stephanie swallowed hard. She’d come here tonight prepared to break up with him, but she couldn’t. Not when tonight was so monumental, and he had something to celebrate. Ben had worked so hard to get a contract with Callendor, and she couldn’t ruin this moment for him. If she broke up with him now, the end of their relationship would forever mar the memory of this special occasion. She felt the tears slide down her face, and she wiped them away hastily.

  Ben brushed her tears away with the grazing of his left knuckle against her cheek, laughing softly at her. Mistaking them for tears of happiness, he drew her back into his arms, resting his chin on the top of her head. “Babe, from here, my life can only get better.” Lifting his chin off her head, he tilted her face up so her eyes could meet hers. “I couldn’t imagine doing this without you. You’ve believed in me when no one else would. You’ve pushed me to chase my dreams, and I love you so goddamn much.”

  “Ben—”

  “Babe, I’m not asking forever with you. I know you’ll never promise that, so let’s just take one day at a time, starting with tonight. Can we do that?”

  She nodded, closing her eyes again, not wanting Ben to see her pain. He smiled, oblivious to the emotions raging through her. Wrapping his arms around her tightly, he breathed deeply when she clung to him, gripping his shirt.

  Feeling Ben’s arms relax around her, and hearing his sigh of relief, Stephanie let her tears fall. He knew. He knew she wanted to break up with him. She’d felt the desperation in his touch, his kisses, and she’d heard it in his voice. He was doing the only thing he could do—holding onto her as hard as he could.

  For now, she’d let him. Tonight, she’d be his girlfriend. But tomorrow, she was saying goodbye.

  “I’M BREAKING UP with you,” Dominic said, crossing his arms. “We’re done. We have been for a while. I just didn’t know it.”

  “You don’t mean that,” Sandra said, her bottom lip trembling, even as she fought for control. She refused to throw herself at him and beg him to change his mind. She wouldn’t. And from the grim look on his face, he was never going to change his mind anyway.

  With shaking legs, she stood, smoothing her hands over her hips. “Is there someone else?” she asked, waiting for his response. She already knew the answer, but was determined to hear it from him.

  “Does it matter?” he asked, disliking her question.

  “It does to me. You’re avoiding the question, Dom. Just answer it. If you ever felt anything for me, tell me if there is someone else.”

  “No, there isn’t,” he answered, refusing to meet her gaze.

  “Liar,” she spat. “You told me not to play games, but why don’t you stop doing the same? I know there’s another woman. I saw you kissing her.”

  “You’ve been following me?” he asked silkily, stepping closer to her, his face darkening with fury.

  Sandra took a deep breath, surprised by the frisson of apprehension that slid down her spine. He wouldn’t hurt her, she assured herself. He didn’t have it in him. Straightening her back, she took a step towards him. “Last week. She came by your place. I woke up, and you were kissing her.” She laughed bitterly. “You couldn’t even wait until I was out of your bed before you were hooking up with someone else. God, you men are all the same. At least wait until your bed is cold before someone else gets into it.”

  “I didn’t want you to see that,” he said, reaching out to touch her hand. “Sandra, I’m sorry. I really am.”

  Sandra looked down at her feet, struggling with the emotions raging through her. She wanted to scream, yell and stomp her feet. She wanted to tell him she was the one for him. She wanted him to kiss her the way he’d kissed Stephanie Carovella, but she knew it wasn’t going to happen. She wasn’t going to change his mind with her pleas or her tears. Summoning every ounce of confidence she had, she changed tactics.

  “Dominic, I love you, you know I do,” she began, stepping closer to him. When he opened his mouth to reply, she touched her fingers to his lips. “No, I don’t expect you to say it back to me. I know you don’t, but I am concerned. The woman you were kissing, do you even know who she is?”

  Dominic frowned, confused by Sandra’s question. Warily, he asked, “I’m guessing you do?”

  Sandra bowed her head, not wanting him to see her smile. He’d asked the one question she’d been hoping for. Lifting her head, she removed her fingers from his lips and moved her hand tentatively to his cheek. “I’m a girl. We do crazy things when we’re jealous.”

  Laughing softly, she dropped her hand from his cheek and moved to perch delicately on his desk. “Well, you can imagine how I felt waking up in my boyfriend’s empty bed, only to find him kissing another woman.”

  “Sandra,” Dominic drawled between gritted teeth.

  She smiled playfully, resting her hand on his desk and leaning back, well aware that the angle was showing off her body to her advantage. “I
may have snooped a little,” she confessed, reaching up to curl a finger around a strand of her blonde hair. “I wanted to know the name of the bitch who was stealing my boyfriend away from me in front of my eyes.”

  “Don’t call Stephanie that,” he growled, scowling when she laughed bitterly.

  “I don’t think you ever defended me once, yet this woman already means so much to you that you’re defending her,” Sandra said, tears welling in her eyes. “You don’t even care who she is, do you? You love her already?”

  “Who is she, Sandra?” Dominic asked, shoving his hands into his jeans pockets and sighing heavily. “Clearly you think she’s someone she’s not.”

  “Death follows her, Dominic,” Sandra said, tears sliding down her cheeks as she looked at the man she loved, the only man she had ever loved. “If you don’t believe me, ask her about her parents. Ask her what happened to them. Ask her about Katrina Andrews, and the night she was murdered. I’m telling you, you need to stay the hell away from her. Run while you still can. That woman is dangerous.”

  She swallowed her tears and slid off the desk, moving towards him. “If you know what’s good for you, you’ll stay away from her. There’s something bad about her. I’m not saying this because I want to hold onto you. I’m telling you because I love you. I love you more than anything in the world, and if something ever happened to you, I don’t know what I’d do.

  “I followed her, Dominic. For a whole day I scoped her out, determined to find out what it was about her that fascinated you so much.

  “I wasn’t the only one to follow her, Dom. Someone else was there, and that’s what scares me. I know what happened to her at university. I know she’s obsessed with it, and I’m terrified.” She took a gulping breath, and her voice dropped to a whisper. “I’m terrified that this death and blood that surrounds her constantly will envelop you, and I couldn’t bear to see you get hurt. Mark my words, Dominic, if you date this woman, you’re risking everything. You need to walk away from her.”