Damaged

by Nina D'Angelo

  Closing her eyes, she smiled when Dominic’s lips brushed lightly across her eyelids and onto her nose before trailing across her cheeks. She wrapped her arms around his waist, sliding her hands into his jeans back pockets. Feeling his mouth close to her ear, she opened her eyes when he whispered softly, “Nothing you could ever say will make me change my mind about you, or about us.”

  Cupping her face in his hands, he pressed his forehead to hers. “I want to be there for the bad times as well as the good. I want to be the one you turn to when you can’t sleep. I want to be the one who holds you when you wake up screaming, and I want to know all your deadly secrets.”

  “Dom—”

  He silenced her with a tender kiss, leaving her breathless. When they broke apart, he said quietly, “Darlin’ I’m in this for the long haul. For better or worse, whether you like it or not, you’re stuck with me. I’m not going anywhere. Not without you.”

  STEPHANIE BREATHED IN the deep ocean air. Gripping the metal railing in front of her, she looked out into the ocean. Feeling a fresh gust of wind, she shivered in delight. For the first time in a long time, she felt free. She felt alive, and it was all because of one man—Dominic. She grinned happily. She’d told him things she’d never told anyone before, and he hadn’t flinched. He hadn’t run away screaming. Instead, he’d taken her into his arms and kissed her.

  Dominic didn’t care about her past. When she’d told him who she was and what she’d witnessed, she’d expected him to react the way everyone did when they found out she was that girl. She laughed out loud. He still wanted to be with her, despite the fact she was damaged.

  Her grin fading, she conceded she’d held back. She hadn’t told him everything about the Jesus Christ Killer. Taking a reassuring breath, she told herself she’d told him enough. One day she would tell him more. She would tell him who the Jesus Christ Killer really was, and why he loved her. Gripping the railing tighter, her face lit up in a smile again, and she shook her head. She was already thinking about their future.

  For the first time, she was thinking about a future with someone, someone who didn’t care who she was. Dominic wanted to love her through the bad times, and cherish her through the good. Now, more than anything, she wanted him by her side for better or worse. She realized when she was with him, she felt like she could take on the world, and kick it in the ass.

  Dominic didn’t care about her past. When she’d told him who she was and what she’d witnessed, she’d automatically expected him to react exactly the way everyone else did when they found out she was that girl—with pity, followed by slight revulsion. God knows, she’d seen that enough growing up in San Francisco. Dominic simply didn’t give a damn about her past.

  She laughed out loud. He still wanted to be with her, despite the fact she was damaged. A wave of relief overcame her. She’d been so scared he would walk away; so certain of his rejection that his acceptance left her feeling giddy.

  Turning her head to study the man walking towards her, with a cup of coffee in each hand, she couldn’t prevent the shiver of anticipation sliding down her spine. Ben had been safe; Dominic was anything but. Dominic made her feel things she swore she would never let anyone make her feel. She’d seen what love could do and how quickly it could destroy lives. She was the product of such a twisted love.

  He made her reckless. When she was with him, he consumed her completely and when they were apart, he was all she could think about. He was already capable of hurting her in ways she didn’t think were possible. Somehow, when she’d least expected it, he’d crept into her heart. Dressed in faded blue jeans that molded his thighs and a black muscle T-shirt, emblazoned with the Outlaws logo, he was everything she could ever want and everything she knew she could no longer do without.

  Shoving her hands in her jeans left front pocket, she fingered the card she’d slipped in there an hour ago. At her insistence, Dominic had left her alone for a few hours, meeting with his friend. The location for Outlaws had been perfect. It was in the heart of San Francisco and would draw in the locale as well as the tourists.

  She smiled slowly. Dominic was a savvy businessman. She’d seen the pleasure on his face when they’d first arrived at his friend’s bar before he’d carefully hidden it. He was smart enough not to show how desperately he wanted the location, and savvy enough to play hardball, even with someone he considered a friend. It was an admirable quality.

  While Dominic had sat down to discuss the sale, she’d wandered the short distance down to Fisherman’s Wharf, lost in her own memories. It had been a few years since she’d been in San Francisco, and walking around the wharf had brought bittersweet memories of a lonely childhood back. Her last memory of the city hadn’t been a pleasant one. It had been her sixteenth birthday, and she’d walked out of her aunt’s Upper Haight apartment and never looked back. Instead, she had caught the first bus to LA, determined never to return.

  Walking aimlessly around the wharf for an hour, she’d been surprised to found herself in front of The Imperial. She hadn’t thought twice about walking in and booking a suite for the night. It had felt right. She knew she should wait; there were a million and one reasons as to why she should, but she didn’t want to, not anymore. The need to feel Dominic’s naked skin against her own ran rampant through her.

  She knew with certainty that Dominic would become her lover tonight. On the drive up from Los Angeles, there had been a charge of electricity in the air; a sense of what was to come. She’d told herself to wait until she had broken up with Ben, but she wasn’t sure they could anymore.

  In revealing herself to Dominic and his acceptance of all of her, things had changed forever. There was a heightened intimacy between them. Their relationship had taken a rapid turn, and there was no way in hell of slowing it down. The truth was, she didn’t want to.

  Scanning Fisherman’s Wharf, she smiled slowly. San Francisco was the perfect place for their first time together. Here, nobody knew who they were. Her smile widened as she reveled in this. They weren’t Stephanie Carovella and Dominic Delaney. They were just two people falling in love.

  Her smile fading, she thought of how different it was in LA. Dominic was considered one of the city’s most eligible bachelors. Men aspired to be him, and women wanted to be with him. It wasn’t hard to see why. He had money, looks and charisma—the three qualities that allowed a man to do what the hell he wanted, when he wanted.

  She should know. She was the female version of him, in some ways. In LA, she would never escape her name or who she was. God knows, the paparazzi made sure of that.

  Gripping the railing, she acknowledged that no matter how much she hated LA at times, she also loved it with a fiery passion. LA was home. No matter where she went, no matter what she did, she always went back.

  Lifting her hand to protect her eyes from the sun’s glare, she stared out towards Alcatraz. San Francisco had never been home. It had been the city she’d been forced to live in until she was old enough to make her own decisions. She’d never really lived here; she’d existed. As soon as she’d turned sixteen, she’d got the hell out and had never looked back. Despite all the intrusions into her private life, she couldn’t imagine living anywhere, but LA. Especially not now that she’d met Dominic.

  She made a face at her own admission. She’d always told herself she would never be that girl, who lived and died for a man. Hell, she used to make fun of the girls who dropped everything for their boyfriends. She never wanted to be the girl whose whole world revolved around one guy. She shook her head in self-disgust. She couldn’t help the way she felt about Dominic.

  Feeling his presence behind her before he announced it, she leaned back against his chest. Taking the coffee he handed her, she lifted her mouth to his descending one, sliding one of her hands up to brace herself against his bicep.

  “Happy?” he murmured against her mouth and she nodded, laughter bubbling up.

  “Yes.” She sighed, lifting the paper coffee cup up to her lips a
nd taking a deep sip. Twisting around to face him, she rested her cheek against his chest, sliding one arm around his waist and her fingers into his belt loop. “I think I’m happy for the first time in a very long time.” She tilted her head to look up at him. “And it’s all because of you.”

  Clearing her throat, she took another sip of her coffee, embarrassed by her own admission.

  Dominic chuckled softly, kissing the top of her head. Amusement laced his voice when he spoke, “Just how hard was it for you to admit that?”

  “Too damn hard,” she muttered, adding quickly, “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m not all that great at sharing my emotions with people.”

  “That’s an understatement,” he teased.

  She punched him playfully in the arm, giving him a mock scowl. “Yeah, well usually I avoid sharing my feelings and keep them bottled up inside until I do something reckless.”

  “Define reckless. Are we talking reckless like trying to shoot someone outside of my bar, or are we talking reckless as in, taking a nose-dive off some cliff?”

  “I was thinking more like falling in love with some tattooed womanizer who plays as hard as he works,” she teased back, her lip curling into a smirk. “If that’s not reckless, I don’t know what it is.”

  “I’d say it’s probably the most sensible thing you’ve ever done,” he said, turning her so that her back was pressed against his chest. Crossing his arms over her, he tangled one of her hands with his own, pressing a kiss against the top of her head. “You might be interested to know that that tattooed, badass womanizer is falling in love with you, too. In fact, I think it’s safe to say he already has.”

  “Yeah?” she said, tilting her head, her face awash with laughter. “In that case, I better get my ass back to LA and go see him.”

  Tilting her head to look up at him, she giggled helplessly at his disgruntled expression. Her laughter died when she met his darkening gaze, and his mouth descended down onto hers for a brief, hard kiss. Tilting her head to meet his kiss, she moaned her frustration, twisting around in his arms so she could get closer to him. Wrapping one arm around his neck, she stood on her tiptoes, swaying slightly against him as she lost herself in the kiss.

  Dominic broke the kiss, his gaze scorching hot as he looked down at her. She stared back, her breathing erratic and her chest rising up and down heavily as she tried to catch her breath. Reaching out to tangle his hand in her hair, he drew her mouth to his again. This time, the kiss was gentle and sweet as his mouth explored hers. When the kiss ended, his lips trailed along her cheek to her ear. With a growl, he asked, “God, do you have any idea what you do to me?”

  “Probably the same as what you do to me,” she whispered back.

  Dominic studied her, a slow smile curving onto his lips. “So, what are we going to do about that?”

  Stephanie slid her hand into her jeans front pocket, playing with the edge of the keycard she’d received from The Imperial. Taking a deep breath, she fished it out of her pocket, silently holding it out to Dominic.

  Taking the card, he arched an eyebrow at her. Flipping it over, he read the insignia on the back, automatically jerking his head towards The Imperial, and then back towards her. His emerald green eyes burned brightly as he studied her.

  “Are you sure?” he asked quietly.

  She nodded, her heart pounding rapidly as she waited for his reaction. He took her coffee cup from her, tossing it with his own into a nearby rubbish bin. Taking her hand in his, he grinned at her. She returned his grin, knowing instinctively that once they’d slept together, there would be no turning back.

  And she was okay with that.

  STEPHANIE HELD DOMINIC’S hand as he led her towards their hotel suite. Stopping in front of the room, she glanced at the room number. Smiling foolishly, she recited the number in her head, knowing that she never wanted to forget this day—this moment.

  Beneath swept eyelashes, she studied Dominic’s profile, her heart racing. Biting her lip nervously, she placed a hand across her stomach, surprised to find that she had butterflies.

  She shook her head in disbelief. She was acting like this was her first time. Dominic wasn’t her first lover. Hell, he wasn’t even her second, third or fourth. She’d had her fair share of boyfriends, and even more one-night stands. After Katrina’s murder, she’d used sex as a weapon; a way to lose herself. She’d been on the brink of self-destruction when she’d met Ben.

  She swallowed hard. Ben. He didn’t deserve any of this. She knew she should have broken up with him when she’d had the chance, but she hadn’t been able to. Part of her felt she should tell Dominic no. Her conscience told her she should wait until she’d broken up with Ben before she took things further with Dom, just as she’d originally planned.

  “Are you okay?” Dominic asked, breaking into her reverie, and she nodded jerkily. Following him into the hotel room suite, her eyes were immediately drawn to the bed, before she quickly looked away. Moving restlessly around the room, she walked to the balcony, opening the sliding door and stepping outside.

  Bracing her hands against the railing, she took in the view. She couldn’t shake her nerves. She’d never been this skittish before. Dominic made her feel like an inexperienced schoolgirl. If it were any other guy, she’d have stripped her clothes off as soon as she entered the room, determined to get it over with and move on. She sure as hell wouldn’t be standing outside looking out into San Francisco Bay.

  Dominic was different. Everything about their relationship was foreign to her. She’d always been the one in complete control, even if the guy hadn’t known it. She’d been the one to decide when it was over, and she’d done so without thinking twice. She preferred it that way. It was less messy, and she didn’t risk the chance of getting attached, or worse, falling in love.

  Dominic wouldn’t let her control the relationship. He wanted a relationship where they were equals, and he’d push her further than anyone ever had.

  And she’d let him.

  She smiled, knowing that they’d fight as passionately as they’d make love. They’d both strike out at each other when they were hurting, and be there to hold one another when the pain got too much.

  She’d never let her heart rule her head before, and she knew she was taking the biggest gamble of her life. He had the power to rip her heart out and to make her bleed. No one had ever had that power over her, not since the Jesus Christ Killer had walked into her home and shattered her childhood.

  Feeling his presence behind her, she tilted her head to look into his worried gaze.

  “We don’t have to do this. We can wait,” he murmured, bracing his own hands besides hers on the railing.

  Stephanie looked down at their hands and moved hers to cover his. Leaning back, she relaxed against him. “I don’t want to wait,” she said softly. “It feels as if we’ve been waiting forever. It’s just that I wish I wasn’t hurting Ben in the process.”

  “You haven’t broken up with him yet?” Dominic said, slowly sliding his hand up her arm and letting his fingers lightly skim up to her shoulders. Pushing her hair to one side, he brushed his lips against the back of her neck.

  “No, I wanted to break up with him the same night you broke up with your . . . Sandra, but I couldn’t,” she whispered, twisting around to face him again. Stumbling over her words, she said quickly, “Dominic, I want to break up with him. I want to be with you, but Ben was celebrating something special, and I couldn’t ruin that moment for him.”

  “Christ, Stephanie, when is it ever going to be the perfect time to break a guy’s heart?” he asked, stepping away from her and moving back into the hotel room. Dominic sank down on the bed. Clasping his hands together, he leaned forward, frustration on his face. He briefly looked up when Stephanie walked into the room.

  Stopping at the sliding door, she leaned against the wall. Quietly, she said, “I know there’s no perfect time or way to hurt someone, but I couldn’t just break it off with him that night. He
was so happy, and so excited. He wanted to celebrate, and I couldn’t tell him no. Not when I knew how important this was to him, and not when—” She halted, brushing the back of her hand against her eyes. “Not when I knew I was going to hurt him. He means something to me. I was completely lost after Katrina’s death and drowning. I was self-destructive, and hell bent on finding some way to stop the pain and to hell with the consequences. Instead, I found Ben. He saved me from myself.” She walked to the bed, sitting down beside him.

  “You love him,” Dominic growled, jealousy flooding through him.

  “Yes, but not that way. I don’t love him the way I love you,” she said, her voice cracking.

  Dominic lifted his head sharply at her admission, his gaze stormy. “The way you love me?” he echoed, watching her nod her head jerkily.

  “I don’t even know what we’re doing or where we're heading. This could be the biggest mistake of my life, but I simply don’t care. All I care about is being here with you now.” She twisted to look at him. “Tell me this isn’t a mistake. Tell me you feel the same way I do. Just tell me what we’re doing, damn it.”

  Frustration colored her voice, and she wiped angry tears away. Moving to stand, she froze when he reached out and grabbed her wrist, dragging her towards him. Drawing her down onto his lap, he pressed his forehead against hers.

  “The idea of you with someone else kills me. Every time you mention your boyfriend’s name, I want to put my fist into the wall. Knowing he has the right to kiss and hold you whenever the hell he wants tears me up inside.

  “I’m not used to being jealous. I’ve never cared enough about any woman before to feel jealousy,” Dominic said softly, taking one of her hands and linking it with his own before he brought it up to his mouth. “As for what we’re doing, we’re falling in love, one mistake at a time.”