Damaged

by Nina D'Angelo

  “Not even me?” Ben asked, his voice husky.

  “No, you make me feel safe. He made me feel . . . something else, but it doesn’t matter anymore. It turns out he wasn’t who I thought he was, and whatever we had was nothing more than a lie,” she said dully.

  “Did you love him?” he asked hesitantly, already knowing the answer. He could see it in her face, and the pain flashing in her eyes before she carefully concealed her emotions.

  “Yes . . . no . . . what is love, anyway?” she asked dismissively, shaking her head in disgust. “It’s nothing but empty words people throw about to make themselves feel better. You’ve said it yourself, Ben. You’ve told girls you love them to get them into bed, and you’ve thrown it around as if it meant nothing. It’s a means to an end.”

  Laughing harshly, she glanced at him. “All my life I’ve seen what happens to those who fall in love. My mother made the mistake of falling for the wrong man, and she paid the ultimate price for it. And some sick, twisted fuck killed my best friend, simply because he’d deemed himself to be in love with me. As she was dying and bleeding out, he held a knife to my throat and told me he loved me.”

  “Christ, Stephanie,” Ben whispered, drawing her back into his arms. Pressing his lips against her forehead, he smiled when she wrapped her arms tightly around his waist. “I wish you’d shared this with me sooner. You shut yourself off from everyone and everything, and sometimes I don’t even know what’s going on with you. You need to let me in, okay?”

  Stephanie nodded, burying her face in his shirt before she pulled slightly back to look at him. “Okay,” she lied, watching his face light up with pleasure. “I’m sorry, Ben. I really am.”

  “We all stumble sometimes, Stephanie,” he whispered, wrapping his hand around her neck and drawing her closer for a soft kiss.

  Stephanie leaned into him, trying her damnedest to feel something in his kiss. Instead, she felt nothing. Tears pricked at her eyelids, and Ben noticed, gently brushing them aside. “Babe, it’s okay. I know that it’s over. I don’t need to know his name. I don’t need to know what happened. All that matters is that we’re going to move past it, and it’ll make us stronger. We’ll survive this together.”

  She nodded, knowing he thought she was crying because she’d hurt him. She smiled bitterly. In some ways she was, but she was mainly crying because she felt nothing. When he’d previously touched her, she’d felt passion, she’d felt desire. But that was before Dominic. Now she felt nothing but emptiness inside.

  “Hey, I’ve got a great idea,” Ben whispered in her ear, pulling back to grin at her. “Once you finish exams, we’ll go away for the weekend, just the two of us. We could drive up to San Francisco, book into a hotel and pretend that we’re tourists from the great unknown. God knows what’s going to happen after I go on tour.”

  “You’re going to be a rock star, Ben Reynolds,” Stephanie whispered fiercely, her eyes glittering with tears at the mention of San Francisco. Her heart constricted with pain. “You’re going to set the world on fire, and you’re never looking back. You hear me?”

  Ben chuckled at her words, shaking his head in amusement. “Babe, you’ve always believed in me far more than I’ve ever believed in myself. You don’t know how much that means to me.”

  She took a deep breath, nodding towards Outlaws. “Shall we go in?”

  Ben nodded, slipping his hand into hers. He smiled. “I guess after tonight my life is really going to change, huh?

  DOMINIC FLINCHED WHEN he watched Ben walk into Outlaws, his arm wrapped tightly around Stephanie’s waist. Standing motionlessly behind the bar, he studied them. Ben appeared relaxed as he looked around the room. Dominic smiled grimly. He’d thought tonight was going to be hell, but he was dead wrong. Hell would be paradise compared to what he was feeling right now. Soaking in Stephanie, his eyes traveled over her hungrily. She took his breath away. Wearing a black mini-dress that hugged every curve and knee-high boots, she stood out in a crowd.

  Watching her glance fervently around the room, he realized with a thundering heart that she was looking for him. He bit back an oath when her gaze clashed with his, and he took a step back, watching her eyes flare with anguish before her face became a blank canvas. Dominic was the first to tear his gaze away, dropping it down to the drink he was cradling.

  Tossing his drink back, he turned away from her, not wanting her to see his real emotions. When he turned back, he wasn’t surprised to see Tyler sitting at the bar.

  “I see Ben’s here,” Tyler observed, glancing from Ben back to Dominic. “You look like shit.”

  “Thanks,” Dominic rasped, leaning his elbows against the bar and picking up Tyler’s drink. Tossing it back, he grimaced as the whiskey hit his empty stomach hard. “Just what a guy wants to hear from his best friend.”

  “Did you do it?” Tyler asked casually, his eyes not leaving Dominic’s face. He saw him flinch. “You ended it, then.”

  “It’s done,” Dominic snapped, pushing himself off from the bar’s counter. “It’s over.”

  “Like hell it is,” Tyler snapped back, raking his gaze over his best friend. “You look like shit, reek of booze, and you’d rather be anywhere but here. You think Ben’s stupid? He’s going to put two and two together eventually.”

  Breaking off, he jerked his head towards Stephanie. “I’ve seen the two of you together, remember? This thing between you, it’s not over, not by a long shot.”

  “It is. Don’t worry, Ty. Ben will never know about this. Trust me, there’s no way in hell she’s ever going to want to be with me again. I made certain of that,” Dominic said bitterly, running a hand over his jaw.

  For the first time, Tyler noticed the bandages on his hand. “What the hell did you do to your hand?”

  “I broke three fingers,” he said dismissively, his gaze sliding around the room. Everyone who knew Ben had come here tonight to celebrate his record deal. He smiled softly. Ben was that kind of guy; the all-American golden boy who everyone loved. No one could ever say anything bad about him. Ben was that nice of a guy. Unlike him.

  “What’d you do, punch a wall?” Tyler joked, his smile dying when Dominic nodded his head curtly. “Jesus, Dom, you broke your fingers punching a wall. What the hell were you thinking?”

  “Maybe I wasn’t thinking of anything at the time. Maybe I needed something to distract me from the pain I was feeling inside. I hurt the woman I love, Ty. I crushed her, and hurt her in ways I promised her I would never do. I destroyed her,” Dominic bit out, letting his emotions bubble to the surface. “I will never get out of my mind the look on her face when I told her she was just a fuck. I told her she was damaged, Ty. I told her there was no way in hell I would ever want someone like her. I didn’t just break her heart. I broke mine. Even while I was ending it with her, I wanted desperately to scream at her that I loved her. Now it’s too late. It’s over.”

  Tyler studied his friend’s devastated expression before he turned his head to look at Stephanie. The night he’d first met her, he’d seen the depth of her feelings for Dominic, and quickly glancing from her to Dominic, he realized the feelings were mutual. They loved each other. Turning back, he was surprised to find Stephanie watching him. Once again, he was in awe of her ability to control her emotions.

  His breath caught in his throat when her gaze shifted from him to Dominic. Grief flashed across her face before she quickly hid it. If he hadn’t been watching her so carefully, he wouldn’t have seen it. She kept her emotions so carefully in check, but for one brief moment she’d been exposed for everyone to see. Her mask of control was slipping. Dominic was her Achilles heel. She couldn’t hide how she felt about him, no matter how much she wanted to, or how much she tried. Her pain completely matched Dominic’s.

  “It’s not over, Dom. You know it, she knows it, and I damn well know it. The only person who doesn’t know it is Ben, but I’m pretty certain if you keep looking at her like a love-starved fool, he’s going to figure it out soon
enough,” Tyler drawled, shaking his head in disgust. “Hell, I’m pretty certain he’s going to anyway.”

  Dominic scowled at Tyler. “Don’t worry, I have a backup plan.”

  Tyler followed Dominic’s gaze, groaning when he saw Sandra walking towards them. “Christ, Dom, tell me that’s not your backup plan. Couldn’t you do any better?”

  “What's better than showing Stephanie I don’t give a damn about her than my showing up with my ex-girlfriend?” Dominic asked, arching his eyebrow.

  “Sandra Barton is nuts, Dom,” Tyler said, reaching over the bar and grabbing his arm. “Just think about what you’re doing. Do you really want to go down that road?”

  “Ty, give me some credit. I know what I’m doing,” Dominic snapped.

  “Do you, Dom?” Tyler asked. When Dominic didn’t answer, he followed his friend’s gaze to where Ben stood, his arm wrapped tightly around Stephanie’s waist. He grimaced. Whether Dominic realized it or not, his every emotion was on display for everyone to see. Turning his head towards Sandra, he shuddered inwardly, deciding he didn’t want to be in Dominic’s shoes when she found out she was being used.

  He had the feeling that before tonight was over all hell was going to break loose.

  And it wasn’t going to be pretty.

  DOMINIC GRIPPED SANDRA’S hand, leading her through the crowds towards Ben. Bumping Ben’s shoulder gently, he grinned when Ben spun around immediately.

  “Dom,” Ben laughed, wrapping his arm around Dominic’s shoulders and slapping him on the back. “I was wondering when you were going to show your ugly face. I want you to meet my girl.”

  Turning his head to Stephanie, he said with a grin, “Babe, I’d like you to meet one of my best friends, Dominic Delaney.”

  Stephanie froze. Recognizing the woman he was holding hands with, she swallowed her shock. Fighting to remain in control, she carefully masked her emotions, refusing to let him see how much she was hurting.

  Grinning, Ben turned back to Dominic. “Dom, this is my girl, Stephanie.”

  “It’s nice to meet you,” Dominic said smoothly, keeping his own face blank.

  “Dom, aren’t you going to introduce us?” Sandra asked pointedly, linking her arm through his and smiling triumphantly at Stephanie.

  “Sure. Ben, of course, you know my girlfriend, Sandra,” Dominic said, adding softly, “Stephanie, this is my girlfriend, Sandra Barton.”

  “We’ve met,” Stephanie said in a clipped tone, raking her eyes over Sandra contemptuously. “Unfortunately.”

  Sandra flushed angrily, her eyes narrowing dangerously. Fighting down her anger, she wrapped her arms around Dominic’s neck, kissing him thoroughly. When they broke apart, she clung to him possessively, smiling maliciously at Stephanie. “Oh, that’s right. You’re the girl whose car was set on fire. Didn’t they call you a whore as well?”

  Ignoring Sandra completely, Stephanie arched her eyebrow, her gaze colliding with Dominic’s. They stared at each other silently before she turned her head towards Ben. “Ben, I think I need some fresh air. Do you mind if I step outside for a while?”

  Ben nodded, quickly glancing from Stephanie to Sandra and Dominic. He could feel the tension radiating between them, and he didn’t understand it. Nor did he understand the animosity between Stephanie and Sandra.

  Looking back at Dominic, he shook his head in disbelief. He couldn’t understand what his best friend saw in Sandra. She was beautiful, but it wasn’t a beauty that was mirrored inside. It was completely superficial. He knew Dominic deserved more than that. He smiled when Stephanie leaned up and kissed his cheek before she walked away. Hell, Dominic deserved someone like Stephanie.

  Dominic pushed Sandra’s hand away from his as soon as Stephanie walked away, glaring at her when she tried to wrap herself around him again. “Quit it, Sandra,” he growled in annoyance. “If you want to do something, you can get me a drink.”

  Sandra stared at the glass Dominic thrust at her, angry at his abrupt behavior. She’d accepted him back with open arms, despite knowing he’d slept with Stephanie, and this was the way he treated her? Telling herself that it would get better, she grabbed his glass and stomped away, heading towards the bar.

  Spotting Stephanie heading towards the women’s bathroom, she placed Dominic’s glass on a table and headed in her direction.

  “SO, YOU’RE WITH Crazy again, huh?” Ben asked, laughter dancing in his eyes when he saw Dominic’s look of disgust.

  “Hell no,” Dominic spat out, flagging down a waiter and picking up a glass of champagne. Tossing it back, he swallowed it in three gulps before returning the empty glass to the tray and picking up another one.

  “Then what the hell was that?” Ben asked, studying his friend. “And what the hell did you do to your hand?”

  “I’m redecorating my bathroom,” Dominic said sardonically, smiling at his own private joke.

  “How? By using your fist instead of a hammer? Jeez, Dom. That looks nasty.”

  “I broke three fingers,” Dominic said, glancing down at his taped hand and shrugging nonchalantly. “Believe it or not, it doesn’t hurt all that much.”

  “I’m not surprised. How much have you had to drink already?” Ben said with a snort. Dominic was acting strangely. He was pretty sure his friend was already drunk, and that wasn’t like him. Dominic always liked to stay in control. In fact, he thrived on it. Glancing around the room for Tyler, he scowled. If anyone knew what was going on with Dom, it would be him.

  “So, things between you and the girlfriend seem back on track again,” Dominic said, breaking through his thoughts. “You seem happy.”

  “I am happy,” Ben said, smiling at Dominic. “I’ve got two of the best friends a guy could ever ask for, a brand new record deal, and I think I’ve found the girl I want to spend the rest of my life with. What more could I ask for?”

  Dominic forced himself to smile at Ben’s exclamation, wrapping his arm around his shoulders. “This calls for a drink. Let’s find Ty.”

  Ben nodded as they pushed through the crowds. Anyone who looked at Dominic would think he was happy, but he’d known Dominic for more than twenty years. His best friend was hurting. He didn’t know what the hell was going on, but he was determined to find out.

  STEPHANIE LEANED AGAINST the black granite bathroom sink, lifting trembling fingers to wipe away her tears. Fighting to remain in control, she turned to look at herself in the mirror. She hated feeling this way. She hated the emotional rollercoaster running through her, and, more than anything, she hated that she’d let someone hurt her so deeply.

  With shaking hands, she unclasped her handbag, pulling out her lipstick and eyeliner pencil. Carefully, she reapplied her eyeliner, brushing her thumb against the running makeup and removing any traces of her pain. Placing her eyeliner pencil back into her handbag, she uncapped her lipstick, pausing when Sandra entered the bathroom.

  Apprehension prickled her skin as the blonde silently moved towards the sink, not even bothering to pretend that she had come in to fix her makeup. With a calming breath, Stephanie carefully reapplied her lipstick. Placing the cap back on her lipstick, she dropped it back into her bag. Moving to pass Sandra, she glared at her when Sandra blocked her path.

  “Let me pass,” she said softly, her tone laced with steel.

  “Not until we’ve talked,” Sandra said, stepping closer to Stephanie. Jabbing her with one red-tipped finger, she hissed, “Stay away from Dominic, or I’ll make your life a living hell.”

  Stephanie snorted at this. “Do your best. I guarantee nothing you can do will even rate to what others have done to me.”

  “You mean like setting your jeep on fire?” Sandra asked venomously, her eyes flashing vindictively. “Trust me, honey, that’s only the beginning. Stay away from Dominic, and that’s all that will happen.”

  Stephanie’s eyes flashed dangerously, her voice icy as she stepped closer to Sandra. “You set my jeep on fire?”

  “Maybe I did, and
maybe I didn’t,” Sandra said mockingly. Putting her hands on her hips, she added with a laugh, “I guess you’ll never know, and even if I did do it, you’ll never be able to prove it was me. I guess that’s one of the many wonderful things about being a member of LA’s finest.”

  Stephanie snorted again, rolling her eyes at Sandra. “Oh yeah, you fit right in. You don’t need to worry about your precious Dominic. Whatever was between us is done and dusted. It’s over.”

  “It better be over,” Sandra warned. Narrowing her eyes, she took a step back. Putting her hand over her mouth, she burst into laughter. “Oh my God, you’re in love with him, aren’t you? You were actually stupid enough to fall in love with him.”

  “And you’re not?” Stephanie shot back, raking her gaze over Sandra contemptuously.

  “The difference being I have him. He returned to me. You were just a diversion, but now he’s mine,” Sandra sneered, smiling triumphantly. “Just like I told you he would be.”

  Stephanie threw back her head, laughing at Sandra’s response. She wrapped her arm around her waist and leaned forward, unable to stop the laughter racking her body.

  Sandra flushed with anger. “Stop laughing at me, damn it!” Stamping her foot petulantly, she screamed, “Why are you laughing at me?”

  Her laughter dying, Stephanie gripped the counter. Glancing at Sandra, she smirked at her. “God, you really are pathetic. Are you that desperate that you’d turn a blind eye on a man who cheats on you? That’s so sad.”

  “Screw you,” Sandra hissed again, her hands curling into fists. “You don’t know anything about my relationship with Dom. You couldn’t possibly understand how much I love him, or how much he loves me. You’ll never understand it.”

  “God, you’re deluded. Dominic doesn’t love you. I doubt he loves anyone but himself. His ego wouldn’t allow it,” Stephanie spat, pushing past Sandra. Reaching for the door, she grabbed the handle, pausing to turn and sneer at Sandra. “You know what’s sad? Dominic’s using you to hurt me. The only reason you’re on his arm is so he can prove to me he doesn’t give a damn. What’s even sadder is that you don’t realize it. Now that’s pathetic.”