On the Edge of Fear

by Thianna D.

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  “Please, let it be over,” she whispered and Ryan hugged her tighter.

  “It’s over, love,” he said in a husky voice. “It’s over.”

  She cried softly, soft tears of relief rather than the huge gaping sobs she’d spent while he paddled her. God he never wanted to hear anything like that again. Even knowing instinctively that she wasn’t crying so much from the paddling as she was from the emotions she was letting out, it was still the most horrific sound he’d ever heard.

  His girl had been so brave, taking everything he’d given her. It took a hundred blows with those horrible paddles before Kendrick had held his hand up and told him it was done. Ryan’s arm hurt and his soul ached. How would she look at him now? He had done what he did to save her from Craig, but would she look at it like that? He tightened his hold. At any moment, she might scramble away. He needed to take as much of her as he could get before that happened.

  Kendrick walked over to them and knelt down. His pale blue eyes were soft and he smiled. “Why don’t you take her back to the cabin?” he suggested. “Becca put her stuff back, so it’s there. Cuddle with her and be there for her. Don’t come to the Faire today. She needs you.”

  “Thank you.”

  Kendrick gave him a wry smile. “We’ve all been there, Ry. The first time you have to truly discipline someone you love, your life changes. Hers and yours. It’s going to take a few weeks and months to realize the difference it made. We have to clean up in here for the Faire. Come on. Up you get.”

  Everyone helped. Craig and Neil helped them to their feet. Alec escorted them home, taking most of Ryan’s weight while he held up Alexis. James was waiting for them with meals and juice. Becca had remade the bed with fresh sheets and put everything away. It was like they never packed Alexis up.

  Once they left, he helped Alexis undress and into bed. Then he stripped and joined her. He was out within seconds.

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  The whole morning was a blur. Alexis leaned against Ryan as they ate the lunch James brought them. Neither of them had touched breakfast, sleeping clear through until James showed up.

  Her ass ached. Any movement brought that ache to the fore, so she tried not to move. They were in her cabin, which she supposed was a good sign. She had no idea what would happen now. Was it over?

  Ryan nuzzled her temple. “What are you thinking?” he murmured.

  “Is it over?” she asked with no prevarication.

  “Yes. As far as everyone is concerned, that discipline cleaned the slate, love. Nobody will bring it up again.”

  That was a relief, but not quite what she was asking. “I can stay?” Her voice was so soft, she wasn’t sure he could hear her.

  His arm tightened around her and he lifted her chin to meet his eyes. He smiled at her, but it looked strained. “Yes, Alexis. As far as Kendrick is concerned, you can most definitely stay. I want to know… do you want to? I want you here, but this morning was harsh.” He gulped. “I’m sorry.”

  She leaned her head against his shoulder. “Thank you.”

  “For what?”

  “For spanking me instead of Gr-Craig.” Heat flooded into her cheeks as she almost called Craig, Gray Eyes.

  His arm tightened. “I promised to protect you, Alexis. I like Craig. He’s a good guy. But he’s a sadist. He enjoys giving pain. And I’m your Dom. It was my responsibility.”

  She closed her eyes and reveled in his words. It was crazy, but coming to rob people at the Faire had brought her the greatest gift she’d ever received. “We probably need to go to work.”

  “Nope. Kendrick specifically said we weren’t to go to the Faire today.” He rubbed her arm. “Our job is to reconnect.” Ryan picked up a fry and fed it to her. “He’s been my mentor for over a year now. He’s said many things that have stuck with me, but one I never understood until now.”

  “What’s that?”

  “That on the edge of fear, a D/s relationship could gain ground. That it was a dance between Dom and sub and if they handled the fear correctly, understood it for what it was, that the relationship would be built on a firm foundation. He was right. Lex, I’ve spent so much time wondering what kind of Dom I would be someday. But it wasn’t until this morning as I was scared as fuck for you, that James helped me realize that someday was today and that I didn’t have to wonder about what kind of Dom I would be with anyone. All I needed to know was the Dom I was with you.” He squeezed her close. “With you, I’m protective and love you incredibly. I knew I had to step up and discipline you myself because that was my job.”

  Alexis considered his words as they finished lunch. “I can see the edge of fear from my side too,” she said as he put the empty container on top of her dresser. “I was terrified. But I knew. The moment Kendrick said that you knew of the discipline, I felt better about it. I was scared, but I knew you would never let me be harmed and so I agreed.” She looked into his warm eyes. “When I realized you were going to be the one spanking me, I knew it would be okay.” Alexis shook her head. “I hurt like hell, but feel better. Which is crazy.”

  He smiled and shook his head. “Not really.” His smile dropped. “You were expunging a whole lot of shit, Alexis. I almost stopped several times but Kendrick shook his head each time. I wanted to hate him for keeping it going, but… I have the feeling you needed it. You don’t have to tell me, but what did you let go of?”

  They discussed her memories for an hour and by the time she was done, she again felt that space where all that emotion used to be. She rubbed over her chest.

  “Empty?” he said and she offered a timid smile, glad he understood. “Then let’s fill it up with what we have.”

  He leaned down and kissed her, his warm, soft lips lighting her up inside. Ryan twisted, pressing her onto her back. She yiped and he instantly yanked them back so that she lay on top of him. He grinned. “Let’s try that a different way.” He reached for his pants, which lay by the bed where he’d dropped them, and pulled out a condom. Once he’d rolled it on, he placed his hands on her hips. It ached, but was also kind of exciting as she had the feeling she knew what he was suggesting.

  Ryan slid his fingers between her legs and his grin grew. “Someone’s excited.”

  A mixture of embarrassment and bravado filled her. “You should talk.” She could feel his cock against her thigh.

  He laughed. “Good point. Come on, Lex. Ride me.”

  It was what she’d thought. Excited, she reached back and grasped his erection. A moaning grunt left his throat as she lined him up and pressed down. The discomfort made her grimace. It felt easier when he was doing the thrusting. “You feel so big this way,” she whispered.

  His grin turned wicked. “Why thank you, sub. Nice of you to notice.”

  She would have rolled her eyes at him, but Alexis liked this side of him. Cocky and damned sure of himself. Of course, she also loved his loving side, his humorous side, and the side that never wanted to think of his parents doing it somewhere on the island.

  Alexis wasn’t short, but she wasn’t tall either and her knees barely reached the bed. So it was difficult to raise up and lower herself on his length. Ryan gripped her hips and helped, easing her down until he filled her completely. She let her head fall backward as she got used to the feeling. His hands on her intensified the ache in her buttocks, but it also increased the sensation of him inside her.

  “You’re so gorgeous,” he murmured in a husky voice and she lifted her head to look at him. He was staring at her, lust in his eyes, but also a look of total awe. “Lex, you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met.” He looked directly into her eyes. “I love you.”

  “I love you, too.” She placed her hands on his chest and lifted up and pushed down, loving the feeling of his cock inside her. It felt different. New. And brought out emotions that were deeper and more primal. His hand ghosted over her aching ass and she moaned as she pulled up and shoved down. As her ass came in c
ontact with his thighs, the ache from her spanking increased as did her desire.

  “Fuck. You’re so hot, Lex. You should see you,” he said with a growl as he ran his hands up her back. “One day we’ll do this with a mirror so you can see how utterly sexy you are.”

  The thought was startling and exciting. She moved a little faster. She was wet and had stretched enough that moving up and down his length became easy and his grunts every time she reached bottom drove her excitement up even further.

  Unfortunately she couldn’t get the full length. Her knees only allowed her to raise so far. She glanced over her shoulder, loving the sight of his long legs and his balls. “I want…” she gasped.

  He gripped her ass making her moan at the exquisite torture of the ache twisting into pleasure. “What do you want, love?”

  “I can’t… I don’t…” Articulating her problem wasn’t the problem. It was getting past the wonderful pleasure that attacked her each time his hands gripped another area of her rear end.

  “Stand up.”

  “What?” she blinked at him.

  “Stay on me. But pull your legs up and put your feet down on the bed. I’ll help.” He held her ass as she moved her feet flat on the bed. “Now raise up until you’re almost off my cock.”

  She kept her hands on his chest and did so, groaning at the feeling of him sliding out of her as well as the wonderful pressure of his fingers on her aching skin.

  “Stay there,” he commanded, gazing into her eyes. “I’ve got this.”

  She had no idea what he meant until he thrust up into her. A cry of pleasure left her as he fucked up into her over and over, driving his dick all the way in with each lunge. His hands gripped her so hard it should have been impossible to handle. She loved it. The pain mixed with the pleasure and she found herself rising, rising, rising to a pinnacle she didn’t know existed.

  “Ryan,” she gasped out as she felt her muscles tighten.

  “Come with me, Lex,” he said with a gasp, increasing his thrusts. “Come… with…” A long moan left his lips and she cried out as she sailed into ecstasy. Pain and pleasure combined and she wailed in joy as she came, her muscles spasming as he shoved up into her and then pulled her down to the bed with him as he filled the condom.

  Alexis collapsed onto his chest and breathed raggedly as her orgasm slowly receded.

  “Shit,” Ryan gasped, rubbing his hands firmly up and down her back. “Lex, that was fantastic.”

  She nodded, unable to speak. She felt so good—unimaginably good. As if she could fly. As if she could be herself without any shame. “Ryan?” she whispered, afraid that if she didn’t ask now that she’d be too afraid to later.

  “Yes, love?” Her heart soared at the word. She loved his nickname of Lex for her, but every time he called her love, it made her weak in the knees.

  “I loved watching you and James and Alec last night.”

  He chuckled. “I could tell. You were turned on.”

  She trailed her fingers up and down his arms, watching the way his muscles flexed at her touch. “Will you do it again?”

  His hand stilled on her back and he moved his head and she could tell he was looking at her. “Do you want me to?” he asked cautiously.

  “Do I want you to fuck James?” she said. “Oh yes. That was…” She trembled. “I don’t think I could bear to watch you with a woman. But to watch you with a man is…” She blew out her breath, unable to explain how much that excited her.

  He wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tight. “Considering how thrilled you were watching two men when you were a girl, I guess it makes sense. I’m fully on board. I loved fucking his ass last night. And you know, there’s another male sub who isn’t owned. Slate.”

  “Which one’s Slate?” she asked as she lifted up, putting her lower arms on his chest to look him in the eyes.

  “He runs the bakery A Taste of Twink.”

  “Oh.” Her eyes widened. “I loved his cupcakes.”

  He grinned. “Lex, this is going to be incredible. We’re going to grow together in ways neither of us has any idea of yet. I want you to know I’m thrilled you felt comfortable enough to tell me how you felt. This just gives me another direction to go in with our play. I don’t know how often Alec’s going to be willing to share James, but like I said. There’s Slate and, of course, all the gay bottoms that come to the Faire.”

  “I didn’t say I wanted to farm you out,” she said dryly.

  Ryan laughed. “It’s just another kink, baby. Maybe I’ll take you to Dark and Dangerous, the gay dungeon, and hold you while you watch the guys play. Would you like that?” Heat flooded through her and her pussy clenched. He laughed harder. “I think I have my answer.” He rolled them over so she was underneath him and her breath caught at the ache that once again hovered on the edge of pleasure. His eyes twinkled mischievously. She had the feeling he knew exactly how she felt.

  “Ryan,” she said, voicing another concern. “What’s going to happen once the Faire’s closed for the season? I don’t want to go.”

  His eyes widened. “Lex, you won’t be going anywhere. You’re a town resident now.”

  “But I doubt they’ll have enough work for me and I can’t afford this cabin.”

  Ryan reached up and stroked her forehead, his lips forming a warm smile. “You know how I’ve been trying to figure out how to get a stake in this place? Even with making good money in the summer, it would take several years before I could afford a down payment. Well, once I announced I was going to discipline you, Kendrick took me aside.

  “Those cabins you’ve been cleaning. Three of them are guaranteed for new residents, and possibly two more. Until now, everyone who has moved in has known a few others. So they were already part of a group. The people who are moving in this fall are unknowns. They’ve talked with Kendrick a lot, but that’s it.” He leaned up on his elbows and smiled fully. “He’s afraid that they will become a group and not get to know the rest of the township. He wants them to be involved. So, he asked if we would be willing to take on a special assignment.”

  “Assignment?”

  “Yeah.” His eyes sparkled with excitement. “It will act as our stake in the township, Lex. We may move every so often, but we’re guaranteed a spot. He wants us to live in one of the cabins in that pod and make friends with the newcomers, make sure they get to know everyone else. Our job would be kind of welcome committee and friend to these people. They’ll move in without the activity of the Faire to keep them occupied.”

  “So,” she said, picking up the thread, “we’ll get to know them, invite them to town events, and otherwise, make them feel at home.”

  “Yes. What do you think?”

  What did she think? It was a marvelous opportunity. “Ryan, that’s great. We’ll get to know so many people.”

  “I know. Kendrick will keep us in the know about everything going on so we can make sure our new friends get involved. And as that pod fills up, he’ll move us to a new pod with more new people. It’s going to take a long time, but if we get to the point where every place is getting filled, he said we’re guaranteed a home at that point. Think of it, Lex. We’re guaranteed a home here. And all we have to do is be friendly and hey…” He winked and grinned wickedly. “If there are any gay males…”

  Alexis laughed and smacked him lightly on the arm. “Horny boy.”

  “Your horny boy.” He kissed her roughly. “Your Dom. Your boyfriend. Yours.”

  Mine. That was her last thought before everything revolved around him. His lips. His hands. His ass. And his cock.

  Epilogue

  Ryan stood with the rest of the township waiting for Kendrick… and his girl. The Faire was over and his bank account was nicely padded as was Alexis’s. He could still remember the excitement on her face when they opened up her first ever bank account and she’d deposited her paychecks from Elan Township. Between the two of them, they had enough to keep them in food through the winter. On the plu
s side, she and James had both become good at making unique leather collars. He and Alec talked about it and encouraged the two of them to open up their own online shop. Now that they had time, it was something they were working on.

  Today their newest resident would move in and he and Alexis were excited to meet him face to face. Parker Vilan was an English professor who was making the move to teaching online classes only and they’d spoken to him several times on Skype. He seemed to be feeling a little more comfortable about his move now that he had friends, even if those friends were half his age. Ryan loved his and Alexis’s job.

  He spotted his girl as she walked onto the grounds with his mother. His mom winked at him and joined his father and Alexis trotted toward him, smiling. “Hey.”

  He pulled her close and kissed her. “Hey. Get everything done?”

  “Yep. The things your mom brought really brightened up the place.”

  Kendrick, Neil, and Craig walked in their direction so Ryan pulled Alexis to his side and waited. Last year had been a good year for as short as the Faire had been and the problems that occurred before Kendrick took it over. He could only imagine that this season had been exceptional. The question was how exceptional.

  “Good morning,” Kendrick said, speaking up over the breeze that coasted in over the water. “I’m not going to talk long as we want to get the grounds cleaned up and battened down over the next few days in prep for winter. As you know, or if you don’t where have you been?” Ryan chuckled. “Becca’s pregnant. She’s due in December so I’ve rented a place for the two of us from mid-October through January. I don’t want to have to deal with the choppy water to take her to her doctor’s appointments those last few weeks. And I wanted to give us some time after the baby is born before we come back. I plan to choose a very good weather day to do so.

  “We have four new residents moving in over the next month. Our first, Parker Vilan, is moving in today. Next week, Laird Fearlane, a motivational speaker, will be moving in. After him…” Kendrick continued to fill them in on the new residents. Ryan was getting to know them all. Laird was a gay Dom while Jasper Reyes was principal of the high school in Sequim and a het Dom. Both of them were single. But there was also a married couple moving in in October as well.