by Fox, Erin
I focus on my work, never stopping. I don’t want to think about Blake, though it becomes difficult to write romance when you want to actively avoid love.
I only stop to rest, eat, and to do all the necessary things. I find it hard to concentrate at times.
I mean, Blake is always on my mind. He has been calling me non-stop yesterday and today. He wants to talk to me, explain to me.
He's been sending me endless texts too. I’m tempted to pick it up but I think it’s best to cut what we have early. Where the hurt is minimal.
I can’t go through what happened yesterday again.
For the love of god, I can’t take even thinking about it. He wanted to explain but I’m not listening. I know men. They can say things.
They can explain and make it believable.
They can say sorry and do it again the next day.
I’m not ready to put myself out there and get hurt. I don’t want to be someone who’s stupid enough to put myself in a place that will cause me pain.
It’s stupid of me if I allow myself to get hurt just because of a fucking man who said he’d fake marry me and then, well, our marriage turned out to be fake.
I really do like Blake. I wouldn’t feel this way if I didn’t but things I have to face up to the fact. He’s such a ladies man and will always be. He was never really my husband.
Men find it hard to let go of all their other women and Blake is not any different. He’s a ladies man to his core.
Also, he’s my model for my book. Someone who works for me so, it’s really is not advisable. Who gets in bed with their heartthrob anyway? It’s so pathetic that I actually ran off to the courthouse with them and made this whole mess.
I close my eyes and lean on my chair. I’ve been facing the computer the whole day and my eyes are really tired, strained past the point of anything I look at making any sense.
I want to just fall asleep but my mind is so busy always running around with Blake at the forefront. I’m wondering if Blake ever gets tired by running in my mind the whole day?
Such a silly question, right? I smile.
I look at my computer and I have another book for release, soon, too. I’ve been writing this book for two months now but I didn’t find the right emotion for this.
Now I know what’s it looking, its heartbreak. I’m the one who eats men for breakfast, not the other way around. I’ve never had time for men.
Now, Blake chews me up and spits me out so well. I’m broken.
I’ve never had a serious relationship because they can’t keep up with me and no one has ever truly managed to touch my heart this way.
Until he comes knocking to my door.
I don’t mean literally. He’s not actually knocking at my door. My heart flutters a death knell, my stomach churning. Part of me wants that more than anything but I can’t talk to him.
My phone rings again and it’s Blake. Looks like he’s still not giving up. I ignore it and put it in silent mode. It vibrates and a text arrives.
I open it.
Please, Viv, baby. Let’s work things out.
Talk to me, please.
Listen to me.
I raise my brow. He’s asking me politely? This is a first, I mean, he can be cocky. He has the tendency to be sweet..
“Please, you’re such an asshole for trying to tempt me back to you,” I say to myself. I call my PA.
“Good afternoon,” she greets me. Charlene my PA is being careful around me.
She saw me run out yesterday. She also knows my world record with men. I smile at her thinking that she might be scared of me because I broke down earlier. Because of what she said to me.
“You were totally right. I’m sorry I’ve just been barking tasks at you on messenger all day,” I say, rubbing my temples.
“I totally understand Viv. Things are compounding and you exploded,” she sighs. “I really think you shout take a vacation. For a week or day. Hell, you can even take off for a month,” she says to me.
I smile. Charlene’s heart is in the right place.
“Thank you but this book draft is still ongoing and here comes that dear ol’ deadline,” I answer. I’ll take off if time will allow it. I hope soon.
“You can do it after the next signing. The release is already a success,” she informs me. “It’s still in pre-order and it’s already a bestseller,” she adds.
“Thank you,” I say to her. “I’ve been considering it. After things died down, I’ll take a vacation,” I inform her. “Tomorrow I have a meeting with the editors. Did you book the restaurant all ready?” I ask her.
Tomorrow has to be perfect. I mean, I want everything to be fine.
I want it to be a flawless, friendly meeting. It’s actually a celebration of sorts for the success of the release.
“Yes, Viv. It’s already booked. I’ve asked them to prepare a menu according to your specifications,” she tells me.
“Very good,” I approve. “Thank you.” She’s such a godsend.
My phone vibrates once again.
I check it and it’s still him. I sigh. He’s making this hard for me.
15
Blake
She refuses to talk to me. Fuck.
I hate this feeling. I want someone who clearly doesn’t want me back and doesn’t want to fight for me.
Look.
She just left me like that because she saw with my fans. They can be considered my fans, right? It’s for her book.
What am I to do? I… want to just give up too. I don’t want to fight for us. I don’t want to run after her.
I understand she’s hurt. If it was me, I would have punched the guy who dares to get close to her. To my woman. That’s right.
She’s my woman and no one else’s.
She’s my wife. There’s nothing fake about that or about how much I love her.
She’s not the only one hurt you know. It hurts that she let go of me like a hot potato. So maybe I’m supposed to let her go.
This is what my brain thinks.
What my mind believes.
But the heart can’t be reasoned with. It has its own rules to follow. The fact is, I love Vivienne.
True. I’m not lying to get your sympathy. Well, I might want to get your support. I mean, I’m suffering injustice here.
You guys know what really transpired. I don’t even want the touches and attention of those women.
They’re not like regular, wonderful romance readers. They were scary and crossing the line.
I grimace. I keep pacing here inside my home, in my bedroom. I tried calling her again, early in the morning.
What? Do you think I sound desperate? Walk a minute in my shoes. Vivienne’s a very strong woman and she won’t look back at me if I dare fool her.
There’ll be no second chances. Lucky, that I didn’t play with her. I still have my common sense.
I treasure her. She’s a gem. Beautiful, smart and hot. She’s stunning. A gorgeous woman who has everything going for her.
Someone that I really shouldn’t lust after because she’s my boss and probably too good to me. I’ve played with women’s heart before like a ball.
This is probably my karma.
I don’t care how stupid the plan was.
I don’t care how fake the marriage was supposed to be.
Vivienne’s mine.
I stop at my window and stare outside. The sun is brightly shining, the very opposite of what I’m feeling.
I feel gloomy. The sun is rubbing it in my face. I sigh. I check my phone and an idea pops in my mind.
Vivienne has a personal assistant and this PA, for sure, knows Vivienne’s schedule.
Damn. Why I didn’t think about it at first? Because my mind is preoccupied with her and not processing thoughts, just feelings.
She takes up my thoughts the whole day and takes up my brain power almost all the time.
I didn’t see her yesterday and I miss her already. I’m pussy-whipped, aren’t
I?
I’m royally screwed this time and not it a way that I would have wanted but as I’ve said, the heart follows its own rules.
I check for her assistant's number. I think I saved it.
I scroll down and thank god, it’s here.
I dial her number and it rings. “Please answer,” I mumble.
“Hello, this is Charlene, PA to Vivienne Cox. How I may I help you today?” the woman says in a friendly tone.
“Hi, this is Blake,” I say to her.
There’s a loaded silence at the other end.
“Oh. Who’s Blake?” She asks me. I can hear the alienation in her voice. Will this be another failed attempt again? Shit. It’s hard being treated like an asshole when you’re not. Not to Vivienne, anyway.
She’s very special to me.
“It’s Blake. Your model. I’m...your boss’s husband,” I state.
“My boss doesn’t have a husband,” she tells me stonily. Shit.
“I’m her husband” I retort back.
“No, you’re not. You were her fuck-buddy and a one-time cover model.” What a slap to my face. I can feel the stinging pain. She’s very different from the friendly assistant from earlier.
I can see it as clear as the microscope that she doesn’t think highly for me and I might not have time to explain to her. I need to open up.
“Yes, I admit that but our marriage isn’t fake, and I don’t just mean the paper. I love her and it’s not just lip service but I really do. From my heart,” I admit to her.
If I want to have her back, I better start with winning her assistant.
“Oh? Then, how can you start flirting with those girls on the release day? Huh? How do you explain it?!” She asks me angrily. “You’re a fucking prick and you hurt Viv,” she adds.
“Look, Charlene, I didn’t mean to hurt Vivienne. I was just trying to provide a good time for her fans. I don’t even know what to expect there! They were just all over me. Do you want me to push them away and destroy Viv’s release day?” I ask her, my voice sounds frustrated.
“I wouldn’t be doing this if I didn’t sincerely love her. My cover job’s done already, but this isn’t about work. I need Vivienne and you’re the only one that can help me,” my voice takes a pleading tone.
“5th Avenue, La Rosette Fontaine Cafe, that’s the place. She’ll kill me but that’s only if you fail to convince here. So, do your best because this might be the reason that I’ll lose my job,” she blurts out.
“Thank god! Thank you!” I say to her.
“Go get her!” she urges me on. “If you go now you might still catch her.”
I terminate the call and run to my car.
I’m coming, Vivienne.
I’m there in no time and my eyes find her right away.
From the outside, I watch her as she talks to her agent. There’s other people that I think are with her, too, and they seem to be having a meeting. A celebration judging from their happy faces and a few lips I read.
I walk inside as calmly as I can.
She spots me and she gasps. The other people stare at me too. Her agent stops from whatever he’s talking about.
“Vivienne,” I say her name. She looks shocked and discomfited. I can see also the pain in her eyes. I hope I’m not too late.
16
Vivienne
The cafe is busy with crowded tables filled with groups of people talking and a long line of hungry customers waiting to order their food. I am thankful for the white noise of people catching up over coffee and croissants, at least this distracts my mind in the meantime, not to mention Dusty is leading the discussion, making it easier for my mood swings to settle in.
My attention drifts off from Dusty’s words to the silhouette of a man at the corner of my eye. Black shirt, tall and lean, I look up to see Blake in all of his glory. I want to question his presence but words fail to come out of my mouth, hanging open.
“Viv, please talk to me.” He looks at me with pleading eyes. The same gorgeous eyes that I’ve been trying my best to forget, which is hard especially now that he’s already standing in front of me.
“Blake, can’t you see that I’m in the middle of a lunch meeting,” I whisper/shout at him, pointing at Dusty and the editors who suspiciously glance at us once in a while. He kept his ground, still staring at me as if I didn’t say anything. Even Dusty is staring at him now.
“Just give me one minute, Viv.” He tenderly takes my hand to his. My heart doesn’t like this view that I’m seeing right now, but my brain warns me with all the reasons why I’m avoiding him with all of my might.
His brows furrows like a little kid after you stole his precious candy but I still listen to my brain. “Save yourself from hell and leave before I even start to make a scene.” I sternly warn him, squeezing his hand tightly.
“Baby, if it takes going through hell just to have another moment with you, I’d even offer you satan on a leash, Vivienne,” he whispers to my ear, leaving me tingles that remind me why I ended up with him in this situation.
He notices the whole table is now eavesdropping our conversation, “I’ll wait outside,” he murmurs to me.
“If you won’t talk to him, I’ll quit being your agent. Vivienne, you maybe the greatest romance author of your generation but you don’t know true love if it bit you in the face, now go talk to H-O-T-T before I strangle you!” Dusty then smiles at the editors who were rather confused at what’s happening.
I stand up from my seat and pat Dusty’s back. “Okay, don’t wait around for me,” I whisper to his ear but he swats my hand away and continues talking to the editors, giving them a fake smile.
I grab my bag and head out of the cafe, much to my surprise Blake wasn’t there until I turned to the corner and see him in an alleyway, leaning against the wall with his arms folded angrily, eyebrows still furrowed.
Slowly walking nearer, I reminisce the first time I met him, clueless of how much impact he had in my life.
“You need to breathe, Blake,” I mutter, standing one feet away from him. He turns to me, not replying anything.
His sexy eyes pierce every inch of my body, and I stand there as I start to get impatient.
He grabs me, a hand pulling me by the waist and the other holding my head. “I don’t want to lose you,” he whispers. “I never really did anything with those fans. They just went crazy.”
I put my finger to his lips long enough for him to stop and take my hand back.
I feel like crying but my brain stops me from pouring my emotions on him.
“I don’t want to lose you either.”
His grip loosens as he creates distance between us.
“Then what are we waiting for, Viv?” He asks me but my mind is busy studying his face, taming advantage of how close he is from me.
His hair is disheveled but just as beautiful and wavy just as I remember. His scent engulfing me, making me want to forget the consequences of us being together, but I knew being together won’t solve anything. It’ll just make matters worse.
“This isn’t a romcom movie where you get to choose happily ever after, Blake. This is real life. We are real people with fucking real issues and a fake goddamn marriage.” I feel myself on the verge of crying but I try to suppress the tears.
“Viv, I don’t choose to live Happily Ever After. I choose you and all the mess that comes with. I don’t want a romcom movie as my life, Viv. I want you, can’t you see that?” He nearly shouts the last sentence but he stops himself and looks up at the sky.
“It’s not that easy, Blake. Being with you is too good to be true, you’re just too perfect that you don’t see the problem.” A tear rolls down from my cheeks but I quickly wipe it before he sees.
“Why are you creating problems in your mind that aren’t real? Maybe it’s you who needs to stop living in her head too much. You’re a romance author aren’t you? Write this as your next story: A girl who’s completely blinded by her thoughts so much that she can’t ev
en see the guy who’s loving her with all his heart.”
His words hit me like a truck. I start to ask myself, why don’t I take this risk? Why am I afraid of broken hearts when my job is to give people hope for true love?
Blake walks past me leaving me with damp cheeks and renewed hope. “Blake. Wait.” Her words stop him from walking. I look back to see him facing me once again, his eyes still wet from crying.
“I want you, too, and I’m willing to risk it all, just to be with you.” I look into his eyes. “And you’re saying you want this marriage to be real?”
17
Blake
Her words flutter in the air, as the tension between us intensifies. The world stops for a second leaving the two of us holding this momentum. This feels like that scene in every cliché romance book, but shit, it’s a lot more different when it happens to you in real life.
Viv’s eyes are waiting for the next thing that I’ll do but I am also stuck, not knowing what to say but there’s one thing I’ve been longing to feel once again.
I rush towards her, eagerly closing the distance between us and pick her up as if she weighs like nothing. She shrieks from my movements but quickly embraces me in response. My head rests on her chest, feeling her warmth along with her heart beating, lingering for a while, savoring this pure moment.
“Viv.” I nuzzle closer to her, kissing the exposed skin on her chest. She holds my head with her delicate hands, carefully lifting up my face to meet hers. “You are my wife. In every way.”
“Blake.” My name escapes from her luscious plump lips, sounding like a beautiful symphony that I want to hear for the rest of my life.
Leaning in, she kisses my lips, igniting the fire between us even more. The sensation of her fingers running through my hair. Oh how I missed this. I kiss her back harder, letting her know how I need to feel her. She bites my lower lip, gaining a moan from me, she smirks at this. She knows she has me wrapped around her finger.
“Someone is clearly thirsty.” Her words come out like whimpers, her husky voice turning me on even more.