In the Shadow of the Mountains

by Rosanne Bittner

  “Don’t you want to dress first?”

  “There’s no time. I can’t trust Chad when he’s in this mood. I’m going to my parents’.”

  “Irene, it’s four o’clock in the morning!”

  “I don’t care. Something is wrong, Rose…with me. I have to find out what it is, and I have a feeling only my parents can help. I have to find out why Sharron is so dark. Chad thinks…” She couldn’t bring herself to say it. She would not allow Chad to drag Ramon into this when he was perfectly innocent. She had to find out the truth and find out quickly before an ugly rumor got started that could ruin Ramon’s own marriage.

  She hurried to David’s room, where the boy was already sitting up and sniffling, confused by the shouting outside his door. Rose quickly pulled on his slippers and overcoat. David rubbed at sleepy eyes as the women took both children and hurried downstairs, where the butler stood in dismay, awakened by all the shouting. Irene handed the baby to Rose while she pulled on a coat over her nightgown and pulled on a pair of fur-lined boots.

  “Is there anything I can do, ma’am?” the butler asked, feeling sorry for Irene, sorry for the children.

  “No, Thurmond.” Irene buttoned her coat quickly, glancing up the stairs, her heart pounding. “Yes, maybe there is. I want Rose to pack me some clothes and some things for the children. I’m going to my parents’, and I may stay there a few days. When Rose has the things ready, bring them to my Mother’s house.”

  He frowned at the ugly bruise forming at the side of her face. “Yes, ma’am.”

  She took the baby from Rose. “And don’t listen to anything Chad says. He’s half crazy when he’s like this. He’s beat me before.” They both looked shocked. “He’s making accusations that aren’t true. He’ll calm down after a while. Right now I have to get the children out of here.” She took a still-crying David’s hand, holding Sharron in her other arm, and left.

  “God be with you,” Rose called after her.

  Irene hurried through the cold darkness toward the Kirkland mansion, glad Kirk was home and not up in the mountains. She shivered from the cold air and near shock over her confrontation with Chad. She wanted to cry, felt the hysteria building; but she forced herself to stay calm for the sake of the children. No matter what happened, she had to protect them above all else.

  In minutes they were at the mansion. She pounded on the door until finally the butler came. He quickly let her inside, and Kirk was coming down the carpeted stairs, tying a satin robe. He stopped short when he saw Irene.

  “My God, what happened?” he asked, hurrying toward her. He saw her bruised face then, and his eyes widened. “What has Chad done to you?” he asked, his anger rising.

  She clung to the baby. “That isn’t important right now, Father. What is important is that he thinks I’ve slept with Ramon and that Sharron is Ramon’s daughter. I won’t have a good man’s name destroyed, Father, especially when what Chad thinks isn’t true.” She saw her mother come to the top of the stairs. “I came to learn the truth.” She looked back at Kirk. “From both of you! My daughter has either Indian or Mexican blood, and I want to know how she got it!”

  Kirk’s eyes filled with great sorrow. He turned away, ordering the butler to take David upstairs and put him to bed in the room they now kept for the children. The man took the sleepy, confused boy with him, and Irene clung to Sharron. “I’ll keep the baby with me.”

  Bea came down the stairs, her eyes already tearing as she approached them. Kirk rubbed at his eyes, putting a hand on Irene’s shoulder. “Come into the parlor, Irene. I’ll open the register and warm it up more.”

  Bea came closer, touching his arm. “Kirk?”

  “We’ve got no choice now, Bea.”

  The woman moved her eyes to Irene. “Who…hit you?”

  “Who do you think, Mother?” Irene answered coldly. “It’s about time you understood the kind of man Chad really is. He’s beat me before. He even raped me one night when he suspected that I was sleeping with other men.” She watched her mother stiffen in shock. “It’s Chad who has been unfaithful, Mother, many times. The night I lost that first baby I had caught him on the floor of his office with Milicent Delaney.”

  The woman gasped. “Irene—”

  “It’s true, Mother! Why do you think he had to let Milicent go? And I only recently learned that Chad Jacobs is the reason Susan Stanner killed herself. I’m through covering for him, Mother, through pretending this marriage can work. Tonight he called my children bastards. I won’t live in the same house with a man who doesn’t love his children. And I won’t have him spreading it all over town that Sharron is Ramon’s child! Ramon and I have never once done anything wrong, but I did love him, Mother. I still do, if you want to know the truth. And now I want the truth out of you and Father. Sharron is Chad’s daughter. Why is she so dark?”

  Bea’s eyes teared more, and she took a handkerchief from the pocket of her robe and walked on shaking, tired legs beside Kirk as he led Irene into the parlor. Irene sat down in a plush velvet chair next to a heater, still clinging to Sharron. Bea turned away, dabbing at her eyes, while Kirk closed the door and turned up the heat.

  He sighed deeply and turned to Irene. “I’ll say it straight out, Irene,” he began, his voice calm and resolute. He swallowed before he managed the words. “You’re half Indian—Cheyenne.”

  Bea let out an odd groan, and Irene felt as though the life was slowly flowing out of her. She held Sharron closer. “Cheyenne!”

  Kirk closed his eyes, rubbing at his forehead. “Your mother and I—that is, Bea and I—married because your Cheyenne mother had given you over to me and you needed a mother.”

  “I’ve always loved you like my own, Irene,” Bea put in, her voice beginning to break. “I wanted the best for you. We thought it best you didn’t know. I was so proud to call you my daughter. You were so beautiful. I wanted everyone to think you were mine…and I wanted you to think it.”

  Irene blinked back tears of shock, looking at Sharron, touching her black hair. “Cheyenne,” she repeated. “Dear God.”

  “There’s more, Irene,” Kirk told her, deciding to get it said and over with. “The reason Yellow Eagle didn’t harm you that day he attacked you is because—because he’s your twin brother.”

  Irene stared at him in wide-eyed horror. “My brother!” She shivered visibly. “My God, Father, how could you not tell me such a thing! Yellow Eagle! He killed Hank! My own brother killed poor Hank!”

  “Calm down, Irene—”

  “Don’t tell me to calm down,” she nearly shouted at Bea. “I’ve just learned I’m half Indian! My own brother has raided and murdered and…he killed Hank!” She rose from the chair, clinging to Sharron, trembling with the rage of betrayal. “I’m a half-breed! Of all the things Chad has done to me, none of them equal the betrayal the two of you have committed against me! You should have told me! You should have told me!”

  “My God, Irene, you don’t know how hard it was for us,” Kirk answered, “how we wrestled with this. We love you so much.”

  “Get out,” she gasped, turning her back to them. “Just get out and leave me alone for a while.” The stark reality of the news churned inside her, tearing at her stomach. Half Indian! In one brief moment, with just a few words, her life had changed forever.

  Bea fled the room sobbing. Kirk hesitated. “We’ll leave you alone for a while, but we need to talk more about this, Irene. And you need to remember how much we love you. We were just protecting you from cruel prejudice.”

  Seconds later she heard the door close. The reality of what she had been told gripped her like a vise. Half Indian! Now she understood the looks of fear in her parents’ eyes, her father’s comment about living a lie. She understood so many things—her love of the mountains and riding free on the plains, her love of horses, her slightly olive complexion, the high cheekbones. And Yellow Eagle! No wonder there was something about his eyes that had held her spellbound for that brief moment. No wonder
he had let her go! But that meant he had known all along. He had been told, but she had not. He could legally claim part of the Kirkland fortune, but he had not done so. Did he love his Indian ways so much and hate the white man so much that he would turn down a chance at a fortune? Would she feel just as he did if she had been raised with him? There…but for the grace of God…

  She shivered, and sank back into the chair. She had an Indian mother, but she remembered Yellow Eagle saying his mother, wife, and son had been killed at Sand Creek. Her own mother and a nephew at Sand Creek! Chad had been there. It all seemed so unreal, so impossible, yet it all made so much sense now. She realized Red must know. That was why he had looked at the baby so strangely. Maybe that was even why there had been the terrible tension between Red and Bea. Bea must have been afraid Red would tell the truth!

  Her mind swam with answers to so many questions, with the horrible reality of her blood. Bea Kirkland was not her mother at all, not physically! No wonder she looked so different from Bea and Elly and John.

  She leaned back in her chair, looking down at Sharron, sleeping peacefully, innocent of all the lies. Tears ran down Irene’s cheeks, dripping onto the baby’s blanket. She touched Sharron’s tiny hand. “I’ll not let you suffer for this,” she sobbed. “Not you or David. We’ll go away. We’ll leave Denver and go someplace where we can be free, where you won’t have to suffer insults and ridicule and stares.” She leaned down and kissed the baby’s velvety cheek. “We’ll go away,” she repeated. “I won’t let them hurt you.”

  The train whistle blew, sounding the lonely agony in Irene’s heart. She rode the Denver and Rio Grande south for Colorado Springs and the ranch. She knew that by now, back in Denver, the newspapers would be screaming with headlines about the half-breed daughter of David and Bea Kirkland. Chad had quickly filed for divorce on the grounds he had never been made aware of his wife’s Indian blood. She had gotten out just in time, before she could be hounded by reporters and public gawkers. She refused to submit David and Sharron to the gossip and stares. If Chad wanted his divorce, he could have it. He had been looking for a good reason for a long time. Now he had it. He could send the papers to her to be signed when they were ready. She was not going to contest the divorce and let the newspapers drag her name and the children’s names through the dirt.

  In one respect she was shocked and saddened by what she had learned; yet in another way she felt suddenly and wonderfully free. There were no more secrets, and an anxious, unexplainable confusion she had always felt inside was suddenly gone.

  Sharron lay sleeping in her arms, and David sat watching the passing scenery out the window. He turned to her then. “Is Daddy going to come and be with us?” he asked.

  The question tore at her heart. Perhaps one day she would tell him who his daddy really was. “I don’t think so, David. Daddy has a lot of things to do. You’ll like the ranch. Wouldn’t you like to learn to ride a horse?”

  His face lit up. “Can I have one of my own?”

  “Of course you can.”

  The train whistle blew again, and she looked out at wide grassland that stretched for miles, picturing golden Palominos galloping across the plains, one of them carrying a big, rugged cowboy. She looked away. Hank was gone, killed by her own brother. She had to face the reality of it, had to try to pick up the pieces of her life. Most of all, she had to protect the children. The ranch would be good for them, a life away from the public eye, away from the hustle of being involved with K-E. Rose and Jenny were coming down to join her. They would bring a tutor to continue David’s lessons.

  But first Irene wanted some time alone—time to put aside all that had happened and just enjoy the ranch and the children. She looked forward to seeing Tim Barnes again and some of the other men. It had been almost five years since she left. Old Flor was still alive and had been taking care of the house. She supposed little had changed…except that Hank was gone.

  The whistle blew again, penetrating her heart, piercing the air. She saw no buffalo. They were fast being destroyed, as this once-wild land was fast being settled. Indians were almost unheard-of anywhere near the mountain towns now. In one sense she truly could understand how it must be for them—driven from this beautiful country, the buffalo that kept them alive being butchered for their hides and bones. Progress, Bea would call it.

  She rested her head on the back of the seat as David excitedly watched some antelope run. She wondered what the headlines would read today…and what Ramon would think of her now.

  Part Five

  They sin who tell us love can die;

  With life all other passions fly,

  All others are but vanity…

  Love is indestructible,

  Its holy flame forever burneth;

  From heaven it came, to heaven returneth…

  It soweth here with toil and care,

  But the harvest-time of love is there.

  —ROBERT SOUTHEY

  “The Curse of Kehama”

  Chapter Thirty-seven

  June 1877

  Irene helped Jenny trim the roses in the courtyard, while Rose played with six-year-old David and two-and-a-half-year-old Sharron. Irene stood up to watch the children, little Sharron’s long black hair swinging with her movements, her bright, dark eyes dancing with joy as she tried to chase David. She was a beautiful child, her soft skin so dark, her smile so bright, dimples showing; the kind of child one could hardly look at without wanting to hug.

  Chad had never come to see his daughter. A few months after she fled Denver she had received divorce papers to sign, which she had not hesitated to do. According to John, and what she read in the Denver papers that she received weekly from Colorado Springs, Chad Jacobs had left Denver for “parts unknown.” It seemed strangely unfair that Chad could have wreaked such havoc with her life and now just be gone, as though he had never existed.

  It was John who had told her the ugly truth about Chad and Elly. The news had been so shocking and abhorrent that she had never been able to bring herself to tell even her parents. It was obvious Chad had never even really cared for Elly, or he would have stayed in Denver. She realized now that Elly’s hold on him was probably the threat of losing his position with K-E if his affair with Elly were exposed. But that had happened after all. After learning the true extent of his cruelty to Irene, Bea had fired Chad from K-E.

  Chad apparently could not handle the disgrace, or perhaps he simply had grown tired of the women in Denver and had moved on to destroy more poor female souls elsewhere. At least he had realized little profit from his cruelty to her. Irene’s interest in K-E was still under Bea and Kirk’s control, which meant Chad could claim none of it. He had, however, sued to keep the house he had built for Irene, and all their savings. Irene made no objection, wanting only for the whole horrible experience to end.

  Now the pretty house had been sold, and no one knew where Chad had gone. If Elly had really loved him, Irene still could not bring herself to feel sorry for her sister for losing him. All her life she had sacrificed her own true love for what she thought was the proper way to behave, only to discover Elly had thrown it all in her face.

  She couldn’t help feeling sorry for Red, wondering how often Elly had cheated on the poor man; and she realized now what had been going on between Elly and Chad that first year she stayed here at the ranch. To think of what Chad had done to her, while at the same time sleeping with her sister, had upset her for months, and she was glad Chad was gone now, glad she would never have to look into those handsome, gray, lying eyes again. It had not been easy trying to explain to David why his father had “gone away.” The boy seemed to be adjusting well, and she tried to give him plenty of love to make up for any feelings of desertion he might be experiencing.

  The past two years had been a time of great emotional upheaval for Irene. A few reporters had even traced her to the ranch to interview the “half-breed daughter” of David Kirkland, wanting the ugly details of her divorce, hounding her unt
il she ordered some of the ranch hands to keep them away even if they had to use their guns to do it.

  Irene still was not over what she considered the ultimate betrayal—her parents’ decision to keep the truth from her. She had asked them to stay away from the B&K, sent regular reports to K-E about the status of the ranch, but refused to go to Denver herself. With considerable help from Tim Barnes, she managed the ranch now, and she was glad she had brought the children here and kept them away from the turmoil they would have known in Denver. They were happy, unaware of the ugly truths about their father, still not fully understanding about their Indian blood.

  “Mommy! Mommy,” Sharron shouted, running on chubby legs toward her then, while David pretended not to be able to catch her. She grabbed Irene’s skirts and Irene lifted her, laughing. “You got away,” she praised the girl, hugging her.

  Sharron hugged her back, kissing her cheek. “I run fast,” she squealed, screaming and giggling then when David grabbed her foot. Irene held her up so high David couldn’t reach her even when he jumped.

  “I think someone is knocking at the door,” Jenny shouted to Irene then.

  “I’ll get it,” Irene answered. “It’s probably Dorothy. Come with me, Rose. It’s time for Sharron’s nap.” She looked down at David. “And you have lessons, young man. Miss Campbell will be here any minute,” she said. Dorothy Campbell was the tutor she had hired from Denver. She had built a small frame house for the woman so she could live at the ranch, and Dorothy had also begun tutoring the children of some of the ranch hands. Plans were already in the making to build a school on the B&K that all the children could attend, including the children of surrounding ranchers and farmers. Irene wanted David and Sharron to be around other children their age, children from families of common, hard-working people who might not be rich, but who were good people who had been kind to her since her arrival at the ranch. She did not want her children to be isolated from the rest of society the way she and John and Elly had been.