by Amanda Boone
She rolled her shoulders and blew out a big breath. “He’s been crying off and on all morning. Then, out of the blue, he actually spoke. Unfortunately, all he said was that he wanted you. I told him that you were busy with work and then he lost it.”
I winced. “I’m sorry, Mrs. Hill. I’m going to work with his dad and try to figure out what’s going on.”
She nodded and went to talk to other children. I turned and found Justin kneeling down, next to Mason, talking to him. I walked over to suggest we go to my office.
“Come on, buddy. What’s wrong? You’ve got to talk to me.”
I rested my hand on Justin’s shoulder and smiled down at Mason. “How do you feel about us taking a walk together?”
He nodded, his wet eyelashes dropping old tears onto his cheeks.
Justin frowned and shook his head. “I’ve never heard him cry like that. Jesus.”
I had them follow me outside and then we all walked in silence. Mason held both of our hands and kept his head down. He seemed embarrassed to have been caught crying in front of Justin. I had so many questions, but I wasn’t sure how to proceed with them.
After a long walk we made our way to my office and sat. Justin laughed when Mason went right to my chair, leaving me and Justin in the fold-out chairs across from him.
“Seems like he’s been here before.” He chuckled.
I nodded. “Yeah, you always get the big chair, don’t you?”
Mason grinned at both of us. “I like it here.”
“Is that why you’re crying in class? Do you want to be here instead of in class?”
Mason shook his head and looked down at his little hands.
“It’s okay if you’re upset, Mason. You don’t have to be embarrassed to cry.”
His eyes shot to his dad and then back down.
Justin sucked in a big breath. “What was that look, Mason? She’s right. It’s okay to cry if you need to.”
“You don’t cry.”
Justin looked struck. “I don’t get sad a lot, I guess. That doesn’t mean you can’t cry.”
“You said big boys don’t cry.”
I looked away, afraid that the pain I saw flash in Justin’s eyes would cripple me. My heart thumped painfully in beat with the sound of Mason’s legs swinging back and forth in my chair. I felt like I was intruding suddenly. I stood up and made myself smile.
“I’m going to give you boys some time. I’ll be outside.”
Justin touched my arm on the way out. “Thank you.”
I nodded and gave Mason a thumbs up. “Take your time.”
***
Two hours passed before Mason and Justin came back out of my office. Mason looked like the world was a much better place. Justin looked exhausted.
“Miss Sara! Daddy’s going to take me for ice cream tonight.” Mason was even speaking louder and holding his head up higher.
I grinned at Justin and lifted Mason into my arms when he was close. “You tricked your daddy into ice cream, huh? You’re so smart, aren’t you?”
He giggled when I tickled his sides and then jumped down. “Can you come with us?”
I looked up at Justin and worked to keep the smile in place. “I can’t tonight, Mason. I’ve got more work to do after school ends.”
He looked sad but nodded. “Next time you’ll come with us?”
I nodded. “Next time.”
Justin picked Mason up and tossed his son’s tiny body over his shoulder. “Mason is going to class now. He agreed to stop giving Mrs. Hill such a hard time. His one stipulation was that he gets to take a walk with you after school.”
I laughed. “You drive a hard bargain, little man. I think I can do that, though. An after-school walk every day. We’re going to be so fit.”
“I’ll be back to talk to you in a little bit. Don’t run.”
I frowned at Justin’s back as he strode away. Jerk. I went back into my office and tried to get a little work done before Justin returned. I was pretending to fill out some paperwork when my phone rang. I looked down at the screen and nearly cheered.
“Hello?”
“Sara? It’s Wilson Graves. Is this a good time?”
“Yes, of course!”
“Glad to hear you’re so excited.” He laughed. “I think I found the perfect house for you to rent. It’s the old white house on Hamilton Avenue. You know the one?”
My heart started to race. “Yes! It’s available?”
I’d loved the house for as long as I could remember. It was in a section of town that hadn’t been updated very much. Everything felt preserved, like you’d stepped back in time.
“It is. The owner just moved away and couldn’t get what they were asking for it, so they decided to rent it out for the time being. It’s in your budget.”
“I’ll take it. When can I move in?”
“As early as tomorrow. I told them it was you looking and they know your dad and are excited for you to get into the house.”
I leaned forward and rested my head on the top of my desk. “Oh, thank god. Get everything ready for me, Tom. I can stop by after work and sign whatever you need me to sign.”
He spoke for a few more seconds about the technical stuff and then hung up with a promise of seeing me that afternoon.
I hung up, feeling like I was on cloud nine. I was getting to leave my parents’ house. The timing was perfect. I felt like that house being ready for me was a sign that I was making the right choice.
“I guess that run-in with your mom the other night lit a fire under your ass.”
I snapped my head up so fast my neck pulled awkwardly. I rubbed the spot that ached and frowned. “That has nothing to do with it, thank you.”
Justin sat down across from me and brought a leg up and rested his ankle on his knee. He looked relaxed, but his eyes said differently. “I can’t believe your mom caught us on the verge of fucking.”
My eyes went wide and I jumped up to close the door behind him. “This is a school, Justin! You can’t say the f word.”
He laughed. “You can’t say it at all, can you?”
I frowned. “Sure, I can. I just choose not to.”
“Uh huh.”
I had to change the subject. “Things seemed to go great with Mason. He looked a million times more confident when he came out of here. You, on the other hand, looked like you’d run a marathon. You still look rough.”
He let his head fall back and sighed. “You were right. About the separation anxiety. He finally talked to me about it. Said that being away from me scared him because he was worried I’d go away, too.”
“Like his mom?”
Justin nodded and pulled his hands down his face. “Yeah. The main reason I didn’t put him in school last year didn’t help, either. I got thrown by a bull, and before I could get my feet under me the damn thing stomped on me. It wasn’t pretty.”
“And Mason saw it?”
He nodded. “Yeah. My mom said he was shaking so bad that she thought he was having a seizure. He was terrified.”
I could relate. The idea didn’t exactly sit well with me, either. “He lost his mother and almost lost his father. I can’t believe he’s not crying harder than he is.”
“And apparently I’m the biggest asshole on the planet. At some point I told him that big boys don’t cry, and he took it to heart.” He sat up straight and shook his head. “I never meant anything by it. Of course he can cry. Fuck. I try and try and still I fuck up.”
I moved around my desk and leaned against it right in front of Justin. I rested my hands on his shoulders and squeezed. “Justin, I see a lot of messed up kids in here. I see even more messed up parents. I see people that make the choice daily to be a shitty parent. That’s not you. Mason’s had it rough. You said so yourself the other night. He’s gone through a lot. You can’t help that.”
He let his head drop. “I can help make sure he feels comfortable now.”
“In this situation, how? You can’t keep him o
ut of school, Justin. He needs this. Being away from you and realizing that you’re always going to be at home, waiting on him, will give him more comfort than anything we say ever will.”
He looked up at me and nodded. “I guess. This shit is hard. I never thought I’d be doing it alone.”
“You’re not alone, Justin. You’ve got your parents and brothers and a great school system here.”
His eyes turned warm. “And you? Do I have you?”
My face burned and I had to look away. “You don’t want me.”
He opened his mouth to say more when my office door opened and Trevor walked in.
“Hey, Sara, do you think I can stay in here with you during my sixth period? I’d much rather look at you than Mrs. Jones.”
I frowned at him. “Trevor, we talked about this. You can’t say things like that.”
Justin stood up and moved to stand in front of Trevor. “Hi. I’m Miss Sara’s boyfriend.”
Trevor’s face went bright red and he backed up. “I’d better go back to class.”
I watched as he fled the room and Justin turned back to me. I couldn’t help the smile that played at my lips when I met his gaze. “Thank you. I don’t think he would’ve gotten it any other way.”
He moved to stand right in front of me and rested his hands on my hips. “You’re not going out with Avery, right?”
“Of course not. We made out the other night. Whether that means anything or not, I’m not going to then make out with your brother.” I tried to step back around my desk but Justin held me in place.
“Good. I want you to go out with me. A real date. Dinner, a movie, the whole thing. Say yes.”
He was staring at me so intensely that I was having trouble remembering how to make sounds into words. I bit my lip and tilted my head. “Give me a couple of weeks. I’m in a weird in-between place right now, and I need some time to sort myself out.”
Justin’s chest heaved as he sighed. He dropped his hands and stepped back. “Two weeks. I’ll give you two weeks and then I’m coming for you.”
“Four weeks.”
“Three.”
I smiled. “Deal.”
Justin leaned back in and pressed a kiss to my cheek. “Better get ready for me, sweetheart.”
I watched him leave and barely made it to my chair before my knees gave out. That man was more than I’d ever had to handle, and I always ended up feeling a little scorched.
My stomach did a little flip at the knowledge that three weeks was only three weeks away. I didn’t know if I’d ever truly be ready for a man like Justin.
10.
I stopped Bradley Currell on his way into work the next morning. I’d already made my morning stop for coffee and a muffin, and I was leaning against my car, enjoying both, when he pulled in. I felt amazing in a white sundress and a pair of cowboy boots I’d had hidden in the back of my closet.
I was also floating on the interaction I’d had with Justin that morning. He and Avery had been in the coffee shop again when I’d come in. I’d pushed my sunglasses onto the top of my head and looked over to see Justin staring at me with his mouth open, coffee mug paused halfway there. I’d grinned and kept moving to the counter.
My confidence was growing the longer I acted like myself. It was the reason I knew I had to confront Bradley. I had to show him that I thought he was a real asshole so I could forget the whole thing and move on.
Bradley parked his car a few spots down and got out of his car, adjusting his tie. When he looked up and spotted me, red spots appeared on his cheeks. “Um, hi?”
I walked over to him casually. “Hi, Bradley. How are you?”
He looked suspicious, and he had every right to be. “Hi, Sara. Is this about me not calling you? Because I was going to.”
I laughed. “Bradley, shut up. You weren’t going to call me back because my mom didn’t give you any money for that, did she?”
He looked like I’d punched him. He reeled back and shook his head. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Sara. Is everything okay with you? You seem a little…on edge.”
“I am on edge, Brad. I paid forty dollars for a water and a salad on our date. That’s after my mom had already paid you for it. How much did she give you, anyway?”
The red dots on his cheeks had grown to cover his entire face. “No-no. She didn’t pay me.”
I stepped closer. “I want it back. I want the money I gave you and I want the money she gave you. You’re not going to profit monetarily from taking me out on one of the worst dates ever. I had to listen to you babble on for what felt like hours about your stupid posters. I deserve the money way more than you. Pay up, Brad.”
Bradley’s face contorted into rage and he shook his head. “I’m not paying you shit. If your mother is so convinced that you’re disgusting and can’t get a date, that’s your issue. She paid me fair and square. I’ll give you your forty back, but only so you’ll get the hell out of here.”
I wasn’t leaving without the whole amount. There was no way he was going to keep the money. He didn’t deserve to be paid anything for going on a date with me. I wasn’t a monster. “Give me the full amount or I’m going to walk inside your office and tell everyone about how you get paid for dates. It sounds a little like some sort of sex work, doesn’t it?”
His eyes widened and he grabbed my arm. “You wouldn’t do that.”
“Try me. Now, get your hand off me and hand over the money. Now, you pig.”
He turned around and slammed his briefcase down on top of his car. He opened it and pulled out a checkbook. “You were a lot nicer on our date.”
I crossed my arms over my chest and smiled. “Yeah, well, you were still a pig. Hurry up. I’ve got one more stop to make before I get to work. And don’t forget my forty dollars.”
I looked at the check when he handed it to me and shook my head. “Three hundred and forty dollars. You should really check your morals, Bradley. Have a good day.”
I tucked the check into my bra and got back in my car with my coffee and muffin. I’d lost my appetite after seeing the amount. My mother was a horrible person. Three hundred dollars to date me? Like I was that awful.
I rolled my neck and turned my car toward my next location. It felt good to be nasty when I needed to be. Not smiling through everyone else’s bullshit was nice.
My next stop was at Walter Williams’s office. He worked in a local insurance office, I’d found out. According to his secretary, he’d just gotten the job as lead agent. He’d transferred in from a branch out of town for it. I’d scheduled an appointment for the start of the business day but told his secretary I wanted to surprise him, so she didn’t tell him it was me.
The office was pretty big. I passed by no less than twenty other people on the way to Walter’s office. His secretary pushed open the door and smiled at her boss.
“Mr. Williams, your eight o’clock is here for you.”
To say Walter looked shocked to see me would be an understatement. He stood up so fast that his chair went flying backward into a bookshelf.
I smiled as a framed photo of Walter toppled to the ground. “Thanks, Sherry. The surprise was worth it.”
Sherry closed the door on her way out, leaving me to watch as Walter tried to regain his calm exterior.
“I don’t have a lot of time to do this. I’ve got to get to work and I also just really don’t like looking at your face. So, here it is. Give me the money my mom paid you or I’m going to scream so loud that everyone in this office building comes running. Then I’m going to tell them exactly what you did the other night, how you took money to go on a date and then verbally abused me before getting into a fist fight in a bar. Do you think your new boss will want to keep you after I promise to start a trash campaign against you and everything you touch, including this office? You remember my mom, right? Lots of clout for some reason. People listen when I talk, Walter.”
It was mostly bullshit. I’d do what I had to do to put him in his
place, but mostly I’d just threaten and hope it worked.
Walter sat down in his chair roughly, his face pale. “You wouldn’t.”
I smiled sweetly. “I would. You can wait a little longer and see for yourself, if you want.”
He ripped open his desk drawer and yanked out his wallet. “Why are you being like this?”
“You mean, why am I demanding that you not gain from our date? Because you were an asshole to me. You’re not a good person, Walter. I hope you don’t treat all women like you treated me. I’d feel really terrible for whoever gets stuck with you for the long haul.”
He thrust three crisp hundred dollar bills at me. “There. You’ve got what you came from. Now leave. I don’t need this.”
I tucked the money away and smiled again. “Have a good day, Walter.”
I walked out of his office with a definite pep in my step. I’d made six hundred dollars and hadn’t even gone into work yet. It was a good day.
That night I waited until my parents went out to dinner before shoving all of my clothes and small things into my car. I raced over to my new house and unloaded it before going back and getting more.
By the time I was done for the night I was exhausted, but everything but the big stuff was out of my apartment. I slept on a pallet on the floor that night, and I’d never slept better.
11.
I spent the rest of the week slowly moving the rest of my stuff out of my apartment. I snuck around at all hours, lugging furniture around until I was covered in bruises and so sore I could barely stand up straight. The fact that my new house was all arranged and unpacked made me feel like it was worth it, though.
I knew what I still had to do, however. I had to confront my mom about what she’d done. That was my biggest fear, and I’d put it off until last. It was just too bad I couldn’t avoid it forever.
I’d gotten used to running into Avery and Justin every morning while getting my coffee. I’d seen a sign posted the day before, outside of the post office, so I was excited to run into them that Friday morning and ask about it.
Sure enough, they were sitting at their normal table, only this time Mason was with them. At first I had a moment of panic, thinking that Justin had decided to pull Mason from school. Then I saw his backpack beside him and breathed out a sigh of relief.