FanGirl

by Lawson, Angel

  “Um, yeah, I don’t know. I mean…” I shake my head. This doesn’t sound like a good idea — at all.

  “Derek, give me and Ruby a second to talk, okay?”

  “Sure, sure.” He slips out of the room, shutting the door behind him. Andrew stands in front of me and says, “I need your help. Like, really, need your help.”

  “Andrew, knock it off, you don’t need me for this. Ask Vanessa or Rochelle. Hell, ask Taylor Lyn, she’ll do anything to get a leg up.”

  “I need someone I can trust and you’re all I’ve got. And believe me, you weren’t their first choice. They wanted me to ask Vanessa.” He shudders. “One way or the other, I’m getting a new girlfriend. I refuse to go out with random starlets. They freaked out when I suggested you.”

  “They’re probably right.”

  He takes my hands and says, “This won’t be horrible. I’ll treat you like a princess and won’t try anything funny. Swear. I’ll hire security and keep you safe if necessary. Once the movie airs, you’re free. I promise.”

  “This is a bad idea.”

  “No. An opportunity.” I get the feeling Andrew spends too much time with Derek.

  “If I do this, I can’t tell anyone, right?”

  “Right.”

  “Gabe?”

  “No.”

  “Iris? Because Iris will want details. A lot of them. Maybe even diagrams.”

  He shakes his head, “Definitely not Iris.”

  His answers make me feel a little sick to my stomach, but then I realize something. “So, we’ll go out or be ‘seen’ around, like at dinner and things.”

  “Yeah, clubs or concerts or maybe some charity things.”

  “Does this mean you have to hold my hand?”

  “I guess.”

  “Or hug me?”

  His eyebrow raises. “Yes, I suppose.”

  “What about kisses? Do I get to make out with you in public?” I feel my ears burn as I say it, but what the heck? If I make a deal with the devil, I may as well get paid. “You know, to make it look legit and everything.”

  “I imagine this would be something we would do — if it would be okay with you.” He’s smiling as he says this, knowing I’m too chicken to go for it.

  I take a deep breath. “Let’s do it.”

  “Sure?”

  “Positive.”

  The door swings open and we both turn our heads to see Derek standing there with a wide grin on his face. He pumps a fist and says, “Excellent.”

  g

  Cole and Alexandra are in the basement of an abandoned house filling bottles from the hot water heater. The crew stayed in an unsecure home for several days on their way to Fort Benning south of Atlanta. Wyatt and Chloe are outside preparing the truck.

  Alexandra: Whose idea was it to go to Fort Benning? Yours or Wyatt’s?

  Cole: His, but Chloe and I lived there for three years with our dad. Nothing got in or out. The entire compound is fenced and secure.

  Alexandra: What if they won’t let us in?

  Cole: My dad did two tours in Afghanistan and two more in Iraq. They sure as hell better let us in.

  Alexandra: Is that who taught you how to do all of this? The survival skills? Uncontaminated water from hot water heaters, the hunting?

  Cole: I hated it at the time. I would have rather stayed at home watching TV or playing video games. He dragged us out to the woods as often as possible, which wasn’t much since he was gone a lot. But yeah, some of it stuck.

  Alexandra: Well, maybe they’ll let you and Chloe on the base, but I have no military connections and I don’t think Wyatt does either. Although, who knows with him?

  Cole: Man’s a mystery, that’s for sure.

  Alexandra: I think Chloe would rather ditch me anyway.

  Cole: First of all, it’s the end of the freaking world, Alex. I think the military will take all the warm bodies they can find. Second, who would Chloe torture if you weren’t here? Other than me, but I’m her brother. After 18 years, I think she needs a new victim.

  Alexandra: Great, and along came the zombie apocalypse, tossing me at her feet.

  Alexandra stashes the bottles in the backpack she’s carrying and throws it over her shoulder. She picks up another one off the floor. Cole does the same thing, plus another one filled with weapons. They move toward the door and Cole stops her before they get outside.

  Cole: She doesn’t hate you. She’s scared and you’re the easiest target.

  Alexandra’s eyes flash to her reflection in the window.

  Alexandra: Whatever. Let’s go. I hope the plan the two of you have set up works and we get to the base in one piece.

  With their supplies in tow, they walk outside. There they find Wyatt and Chloe kissing. Cole chuckles, unsurprised, but Alexandra stares at the two, stunned.

  Cole: What? You didn’t see that coming?

  Alexandra says nothing, but passes by the now untangled pair and tosses the bags in the back of the truck. Chloe walks back to the house with Cole.

  Wyatt: Hey. That was…

  Alexandra: None of my business.

  Andrew steps between me and the truck, his jaw tight. “She just…”

  “Forget it, like I said, none of my business,” I say, pushing past him, but instead of hitting him on the shoulder, I misjudge and ram square into his rock hard chest. This literally makes me bounce backwards. A loud “Oof” pops out of my mouth since I’ve knocked myself breathless. I attempt to recover, but a quirky smile tugs at the corner of Andrew’s mouth and I bite my lip. We hold it in for a beat, but within seconds we both double over trying to catch our breath.

  “Cut!” Arthur yells from off stage, mumbling something about professionalism.

  “Ouch,” Andrew straightens, rubbing his chest.

  “Shut up, that did not hurt.”

  “You’ve been working out.” He grabs my arm and coaxes a muscle out of my bicep. “See, you’re ripped. That website is pure B.S.”

  “Twenty minute break!” NAB announces and Andrew runs his hand down my arm. We’re on day three of our fauxmance and our behavior at work is not overt, but it’s enough to make people notice. It’s like a switch has been flipped. The one that signals to people you are taken. Yet in this case, it doesn’t make sense because it’s me and Andrew and nothing about our coupling works.

  “I thought we could go out to dinner tonight,” Andrew says as we walk over to the food table, located in the shade of the house. I had dreams of exciting, Hollywood-type snacks and treats, but this one sucks. We survey the remains of bagels and picked-over fruit. I find an apple with minimal bruising and take a bite.

  “I guess.” My stomach flutters. Fake dating can’t be harder than acting like a zombie hunter, can it?

  “Don’t sound so excited.” Andrew grabs a banana and peels it. “It’ll be fun. I’m a great date. You’ll see.”

  He gives me his patented heart-breaker smile, the one no girl can resist. Including me. “All right, all right. What time?”

  “I’ll pick you up around 8.”

  “At my house?” Oh dear. Images of “Meet the Parents” flit through my mind.

  “Sure. Text me your address. I’ll see you then.” He shoves half the banana in his mouth and walks away.

  I spy the makeup ladies looking for something to do, so I duck behind a tree to check my phone. Iris texted during filming.

  Sorry I missed today. Pre-college mom stuff.

  Not missing anything here. Hot. Sweaty. Me ruining scenes.

  Again?

  EMOTICON SPAZ

  Ha ha. Want to go to a show tonight? At The Grove?

  Can’t.

  No? Work?

  Yeah

  Boooo. Ok. Tomorrow? I’ll pick you up @ 6.

  Yep. Tomorrow.

  I shove my phone and the guilt I’m feeling away and walk back on set.

  g

  I push the curtain in my room back so I can peek at the driveway. If I loiter at the door, my mo
m will start asking questions. I figure I can haul ass downstairs before anyone notices when I see Andrew on my street. This is silly, of course. My parents have met him before — they met the entire cast and crew the day they came for a set visit[5]. Still, I have no intentions of explaining the status of our relationship. This plan would have worked if I didn’t catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror over my dresser and realize I have white deodorant streaks down the sides of my black shirt.

  “Crappity-crap-crap!” I rummage through my closet for something else to wear. I offer a final cuss when the doorbell rings and my head is halfway through the neck of a red halter top.

  I straighten my hair and brace myself on the landing at the top of the stairs. I can hear Andrew and my dad talking. My dad makes some kind of Superman reference, gaining a loud, fake laugh from Andrew. Oh jeez. I let it go, though, because I hear something worse and freeze on the third step to the bottom of the staircase, unable to move further.

  “Would you like something to drink?” My mother offers, before she’s overcome by the giggles. Flirty, horrible, embarrassing giggles! She’s giggling at Andrew Xavier and this propels me into action because I cannot sit back while my mother flirts with Andrew Xavier, my showmantic boyfriend.

  “Hey!” I say, rushing into the room. “Sorry about that, wardrobe malfunction. Ready?”

  “Yep.” Andrew says, and he shakes my dad’s hand and gives my mom a kiss on the cheek and says things like, “Pleasure to meet you again,” and “You have a beautiful home.” My mom blushes, beaming at Andrew. She also gives me a little arm squeeze and something like a wink. To top it off, she mouths, “so handsome,” when he turns his back. Oh. My. God. No.

  “All right, night, guys.” The instant the door closes behind us, I apologize. “I’m sorry. You know, it’s weird that I still live at home and, well, you’re all on your own and whatever. I think my mom was excited and my dad is obsessed with comic books and he read you were up for the Superman remake and…”

  Andrew makes a face and shakes his head. “What? They’re cool.”

  “They don’t think this is a date. I told them we had to run lines.”

  “Still, your dad’s okay and your mom’s sweet. And beautiful — like you.”

  “You did not just say that.” Because flattery like that has to be against the rules of this arrangement.

  He shrugs. “It’s true.”

  As we walk to the car, I think about the last time I went out with Reid. He skulked around the backdoor waiting for me to come out and hopped on his skateboard to escape when my dad tried to talk to him. This date, fake or not, is different. The whole thing is surreal and strange and grownup. And the feeling continues when Andrew ushers me to his BMW and opens the door for me.

  “You look great tonight,” he says, shutting the door before I can thank him and return the compliment. It’s for the best, though, because great is too weak a word to describe how he looks. He’s wearing a fitted black button-down and super-dark jeans and boots. It’s so basic and simple, yet looks like it would cost what I earn babysitting in a year.

  “I can’t thank you enough for this,” he says as he starts his car, which purrs like a kitten.

  “It will be fun, right?”

  One look between us says what we both fear. Fun or not, there’s no going back now.

  g

  I’m not even all the way in the car the next morning when I see the pissed expression on Iris’ face.

  “Something wrong?” I ask.

  “Why don’t you tell me?” Uh oh.

  Before I can say anything, she thrusts her phone in my face. “What the hell, Iris?” I can’t even see it. I take the phone and hold it back. Uh oh.

  “Working, huh?”

  I stare at a photo of Andrew and myself at dinner. Laughing. I thumb down. There’s another one of him helping me in the car. His hand rests on my back. The photos show exactly what we hoped they would. Andrew and I definitely look like more than friends. I’m busted, and not just by Iris. This is not a gossip page. It’s the latest update on ZWankHard.

  ZWankHard

  Huddle around, kiddies! Our Zources have provided us with a gripping tale of romance, danger and intrigue.

  Romance in your Zocopalypse? It’s more likely than you think!

  Our Zource says, “Ruby and Andrew have been mum about any relationship changes while on set, but there is a distinct change in their behavior. Easy touches, whispers and even an embrace or two have become part of the norm when these two work together.”

  Because nothing lights the spark of love like the heady aroma of rotting flesh and poorly delivered dialogue. It makes total sense to us that our favorite zombie fighters have found time to spend together off set.

  Naturally, we wonder what a date between these two would entail. We imagine a lot of bad dancing and enough self-awareness to barely dampen the bottom of a shot glass, but there’s also that kiss goodnight.

  We’re sure it was super sexy and not at all eclipsed by any mutual epiphanies that a stealthy romance (JUST LIKE THIS ONE, OMG) would probably dredge up enough interest to save this movie from bankrupting the entire franchise!

  That’s just a coincidence.

  Really.

  “What’s going on with you two?”

  I shut off the phone and drop it in the center console of the car. “What, you believe this junk now?”

  “There are pictures, Ruby. And they’re right. There has been a change in your behavior lately.”

  I sigh. “Okay, he kind of asked me to go out with him.”

  The car comes to a sudden and screeching stop. “Andrew Xavier asked you on a date. And you didn’t tell me?!”

  I stare out the side window. “Yes. I guess. I mean, we went to dinner and stuff.”

  “Stuff? What does that mean?”

  “It means nothing. We went to dinner! You can see it all on ZWankHard or whatever that was! I wore a red halter! He looked hot! I ordered edamame as an appetizer!”

  “Did he kiss you?”

  “No.” Sigh. No.

  Iris drives, taking us to the set for filming. We’re working inside today, thank goodness, because it’s a million degrees in Atlanta right now. Her hands tighten on the steering wheel.

  “I should have told you.”

  “You should have.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “I wish I didn’t have to find out by seeing the pictures on some stupid wank site.”

  “Ugh, who’s doing this? It has to be someone on set.”

  “Yep.” She makes a face. “I mean, look, if you’re going out with Andrew, maybe you could let me know next time so I can get the jump on him.”

  “What?”

  “Why let ZWankHard break the news and put their ugly spin on it? Why not post it in our own gossip section.”

  “You want to promote my relationship with Andrew on Z.net?”

  She shrugs. “Why not? At least I’ll tell the truth and not make inflammatory, negative comments.”

  “Why? Because it’s my life, Iris, not some show for the tabloids.” This was undeniably not true, but I didn’t like her train of thought.

  “Whatever, Ruby, this whole thing is another step toward making you a star. You’ll be lucky to lose your virginity to Andrew Xavier.”

  “I’m not a virgin and I don’t want to be a star!”

  “No, but no one else knows that. It’s called spin.”

  I look at her like she’s lost her mind, which I’m sure she has. Completely. “Um, Reid does. He was there, you know.”

  “Come on, Rube.”

  “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about dinner with Andrew. I guess you can put some of the date stuff up on the website, but nothing too personal. Things get blown out of proportion. I’d rather keep the site about the movie and books and stuff. Like always.”

  She parks and kills the engine. “Okay, I guess. I just don’t want this jerk to get away with it.”

  “He won’t. Gabe
told me Nick and the lawyers are on it. Don’t get into some stupid Internet rivalry. ZWankHard doesn’t fight fair. We’ll lose.” I pull on a long braid hanging over her shoulder. “Are we okay?”

  “Yes. Don’t keep stuff from me though, okay?”

  “I won’t,” I promise, but I know I will. I have. I am.

  g

  The wardrobe lady is collecting my costume when Gabe, Derek and Andrew walk up with two other men. Both young and casually dressed, one carries a large camera.

  “Nice job today,” Derek says.

  “Thanks,” I say handing over my boots. “I need to shower off all this blood though.” Andrew finished earlier than I had and was already squeaky clean. “You leave me any hot water?”

  “I did, but David is in there now. Good luck.”

  “I wanted to introduce you to Ryan,” Gabe says, pointing to the other guy. I wave with a sticky, fake-blood-coated hand.

  “Hi.”

  “Ryan is doing a series of interviews on set with all the cast and me, either individually or together.”

  “Oh, that’s cool.”

  “Can you meet now?” Ryan asks.

  “Um,” I look around. “I’m kind of disgusting.”

  “Yeah, but it’s great. Fans will love seeing you like this.”

  “Why not interview Ruby and Andrew together?” Derek tosses out.

  “Sure, let me get set up.” Ryan turns to his camera guy and they start working it out.

  “This is the perfect opportunity to show you two united behind these characters,” Derek says with a wink.

  I look to Andrew for help, but he’s messing with his hair in a wardrobe mirror. Great. He gets to look all Andrew perfect while I look like I just walked out of a slaughterhouse. “Fine, okay.”

  A couple minutes later, Andrew and I stand in front of the camera while Gabe, Derek and now Nick watch.

  “What’s it like being involved with such a pop culture sensation?” Ryan asks.

  Andrew and I look at each other, but he answers first. “It’s great. People are really into zombies right now so it seems like the perfect time to do something like this.”