FanGirl

by Lawson, Angel

  “Why do you allow him to call the shots on this? You don’t have to let him push you into a corner.” I’m furious. “Have you ever thought about admitting it? Telling everyone or even showing up with a guy one day?”

  He laughs. “More times than you would believe. It’s not possible.”

  “Of course it is. Like you said, James doesn’t hide. I can tell you a dozen other celebrities that are gay.”

  “James has a crappy acting career. Sure he models — no one cares about models, it’s almost expected, but he’s struggled to find acting jobs. And those other celebrities you’re talking about — most of them waited until they were older and established in the industry. Maybe one day.”

  I pick up Andrew’s hand. Even though I’m still angry for him, I’m not angry at him.

  “Tell me about him.”

  The sadness in his eyes fades and they light up at my question. “He’s great. From my hometown – that was true. We grew up together and even though I moved and went into acting, we always remained close. He gets it. He knows why I hide this, but situations like this hurt him. It’s one thing for him to see me out with a girl, someone like you. He knows that’s not real. But seeing me with James, that’s different. No one wants to see their boyfriend hanging around with an ex.”

  “No, I guess not. Although for an ex, James is pretty awesome. I wish I could say the same about my choices.” He wraps his sweaty arm around my shoulder.

  “Guys suck.”

  “They do,” I agree. “What happens now?”

  “I predict our break-up will make the rounds by Monday.”

  “Don’t let Derek screw me.”

  “I’ll do my best. Promise.” He gives me another sweaty hug.

  “Gross,” I say, pushing him off of me. “I’m just glad the reason our kiss had so little chemistry isn’t my fault. I was worried for a minute.”

  “Nah, I take responsibility for that one.”

  We walk to the door. “Just one thing,” I say. “If you ever decide to go public, you have my support.”

  “Thanks, babe. Maybe one day. Right now, I’m hoping he’ll forgive me.”

  “Me, too.”

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  Alexkickszass

  #superpower truth detector

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  Alexkickszass

  #superpower transporting back in time

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  Alexkickszass

  #superpower psychic castration

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  (Direct Message) Gabrielsinferno

  @alexkickszass meet me at Fake Fort/45 min.

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  g

  Chapter 17

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  QueenAlex

  @z.net Did Ruby really cheat on Andrew?

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  Wootyeahboys

  @QueenAlex for the last time. Andrew is gay.

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  Wyattsbabe

  @z.net Blah blah blah RubyXAndrew #forever

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  Hatchetlover

  @z.net I knew they would ruin this movie. I don’t want a PRomance. I want Zombies.

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  Zombieprincess

  I wonder how the Zocopalypse franchise feels about all this drama following them around.

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  Wootyeahboys

  I heard Andrew was caught out with James Anderson. #hothothot

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  Andrewspants

  @Wootyeahboys Haven’t you heard? Unless Andrew is kissing me then I don’t care.

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  WyattluvsAlex

  @z.net I knew it was a disaster to cast an unknown as Alex. #famewhore

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  Z.net

  Zocopalypse filming ends this week! We’re sad it went by so fast but we can’t wait to see it on TV!

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  Gabe’s standing in the middle of a war zone. It’s a strange sight. He looks unreal among the human and zombie bodies scattered on the ground. The baseball hat on his head and the vibrant blues and reds in the flannel shirt he has tied around his waist look out of place. Too alive? The red in the fabric clashes against the fake, dark red on the wounds. I wonder what Alex will look like here, dirty and bloody from battle. Will Wyatt still be larger than life? Designed to look like the entryway of the command center at Fort Benning, everything feels formal and imposing, yet compromised. I have no idea if this is realistic or not to the actual setting, but it does resemble the imagery in the novels.

  “Got your message,” I say.

  “Thanks for coming.”

  “I’m not sure why I’m here. I’m still pissed, you know.”

  He nods. “I know.”

  The anger over Wyatt and Alexandra boils back to the surface, but I’m also tired. This thing with Andrew and Iris has completely exhausted me. I barely have any energy to fight over this anymore. “What do you want?”

  “I wanted to go over some stuff and, I don’t know, apologize?”

  “Did you rewrite the novel? Put Alex and Wyatt back together?”

  “No.”

  “Apology not accepted.” I see a notebook in his hands and a pencil tucked under his hat. “Another list?”

  He looks at the book and frowns. “Something like that. I want to make sure we don’t forget anything important.”

  “Well, even though I kind of hate you right now, it does look great — just like I imagined.”

  “God, I hope so. I’ve been stressing over this scene for months.”

  “I mean, it’s not exactly like the books, but the feeling is still there. I think it works.”

  He walks across the room, away from me. He grabs a body off the floor and drags it over a couple feet. “Better?” he asks. He nudges it a couple inches to the left, then the right.

  “You’re obsessing.”

  He stops. “I’m obsessing.”

  “Maybe that should be one of your superhero traits.”

  “Maybe,” he says, walking back to me and tossing his notebook on a table, “it already is. How do you think I managed to get this made into a TV show in the first place?”

  I raise an eyebrow. “How do you think I managed to get a part in this movie?”

  “Together, we can rule the world.” He rubs his hands together evilly.

  “One obsession at a time.”

  We’re smiling at each other, but I make myself stop because even though this ease between us feels right, I’m not ready to let it go. Not yet.

  “Speaking of obsessing, will you do me a favor?” he asks.

  “I don’t know. The last time I did you a favor, you broke my heart and were a ruining-ruiner.”

  “A ruining-ruiner?” He rolls his eyes and fights a smile.

  “Yes.”

 
“Hear me out, okay?” He pulls a rolled up script out of his back pocket. “We’ve been working on some changes. Well, I have since you and I talked. Or argued,” he admits.

  I take the booklet from him. I have a similar one at home, but this one is filled with scribbles and marked out lines. It’s a scene close to the end between Alex and Cole. When I first read the script, I was surprised it was included. The scene seemed trivial in my opinion. Now, knowing what I know happens in the later issues, I appreciate the importance. Foreshadowing, I guess.

  “I’d love to hear the part out loud to see if it works.”

  “Yeah, that’s fine.” I look around the set. “You want to do it right here?”

  “Here’s fine. We don’t need to act it out — it’s just a reading.”

  I scan the page and point to the first line in the scene. “Starting here?”

  He nods and unfolds his own set of papers.

  Alexandra and Cole stand in the entryway of the command center at Fort Benning. Wyatt and Chloe are around the side of the building, checking other entrances. They both suspect they will have to get through the main, large wooden door to get inside.

  Alexandra: What’s going to happen when we get in there?

  Cole: I think we move to the next step for us. Whatever that may be. We can’t wander around forever.

  Alexandra: I know I can’t. I’m exhausted. I feel like I’ve been running for days — weeks.

  Cole: You need answers. I need closure. We’re all searching for something — hopefully this will push us in the right direction.

  Alexandra: What if what we find inside is worse than out there?

  Cole looks around at the mangled bodies on the ground, the spent ammo and destroyed property.

  Cole: I can’t imagine anything worse than this. My father had faith in this country. I do too.

  Alexandra: At least you have something. Faith would be great right about now.

  She shakes the knobs on the door, rattling them to see if they will budge. Twice she kicks the wooden surface with her boot. Cole grabs her by the shoulders and stops her.

  Cole: You aren’t alone, Alex.

  Alexandra: How can you say that?

  Cole: How can you say you are?

  Alexandra: I may go in there and find the answers I’m looking for, but it won’t bring anyone back. So even then, I’m stuck. You have your sister and a father to find. My parents are dead. I shot my mother in the brain. Wyatt’s on his mystery mission that involves none of us. I’ve got nothing.

  Cole slings his gun over his shoulder and takes a step toward Alexandra.

  “Wait,” I say, skimming ahead. But Gabe’s still acting. Before I can react, he has one hand on my neck and the other on my waist. His script drops to the floor and, when I look up, his eyes are on my mouth and I notice how clear they are — and intense. So intense. Gabe’s looking at me with intensity and I know that look. I know it. I close my eyes and ignore the warning in my chest.

  I let him kiss me.

  It’s a little sloppy and kind of rushed and his fingers pull at my hair. Urgency wells in my stomach and it stirs something deep inside, an unexpected warmth. Not the sterile, orchestrated kiss between me and Andrew. Gabe’s kiss is perfect, electric, but not real. Alarmed, I break away and step backwards.

  This is Cole. Not Gabe. Cole. I’m Alex, not Ruby.

  “Um…”

  “Keep reading,” Gabe prompts. He picks his script off the floor and flips to the right page. My hands shake as I find the correct line.

  Alexandra: Why did you do that?

  Cole: To give you something to hold on to.

  “Wow,” I say, catching my breath. “Cole’s got game.”

  “Told you.”

  I fold my script and hand it back to him. “You added that. The kiss, the final lines. That’s not in the novel. If that had been there, maybe I could have seen something other than Wyatt and Alex.”

  “It’s a miniseries. Who knows if it will be picked up for more episodes. It needed a little closure, just in case that is all we can give them. Plus, I wanted to give the audiences a teaser for the future, but also a little hope for Alexandra.”

  “Okay, I can see that. As a purist, I’m not sure I like it, but I can accept your justification.” My words may be normal, but I can hear the quiver in my voice.

  “And,” he says reaching for my hand, “after our argument, I thought about you being so blindsided by Issue 4. Maybe their relationship needed a little more foreshadowing.”

  “Ha! I knew it!”

  His hand tightens around mine. “No, I still think I’ve explained Alexandra and Cole fairly well. It’s there, but for the show it needs to be a little clearer. People aren’t as willing to wait around for sex and love on TV as they will in a book. We have to give them something other than blood and gore.”

  “True.”

  “Or, maybe, I’m full of it and I wrote those lines 20 minutes before you got here so I could have an excuse to kiss you.”

  Wait. What?

  “You did not.”

  He shrugs, but doesn’t let me go. Instead, he tugs me closer. “I didn’t. I’ve been working on it for weeks. Our argument gave me the motivation and focus for how I wanted it to end.”

  “So just now, you kissing me, that was you playing Cole?”

  He leans closer. “That was me playing Cole, as an excuse for me, Gabe, to kiss you, Ruby.”

  I laugh. “I’m confused.”

  “I’m not,” he says, his mouth inches from mine. I feel the stirring again, the one deep inside, the one that spreads like fire from my belly down my arms and into my fingertips.

  “No?”

  He kisses me. Slow and sweet.

  “No,” he says. “I knew the minute I saw you trapped in a throng of fanboys at FantasyCon that I wanted to kiss you. But then I asked you to try out for the part and you got it and everything steamrolled out of control.”

  “Chicken.”

  “You started dating Andrew!”

  “Don’t even. He’s gay.”

  “Right. Figured that out, huh?”

  “You knew he was gay?”

  “Yeah, I knew. I thought maybe that was the life you wanted. Hollywood and all that. I wasn’t going to get in your way.”

  “Thanks a lot. That whole thing went over my head.”

  “You’re too trusting.”

  “Tell me about it. You said you would be honest with me.”

  “I tried, Ruby, but I’m bound by the same contracts you are. And Andrew being gay didn’t mean you didn’t like him, or that you weren’t playing the game with him.”

  “Just because I liked him doesn’t mean I can’t like you, too!”

  “You like me?” He’s smiling and being silly, but I can tell he wants to know. No matter their age, boys want to know if you like them or not.

  “I do. But I’m not sure it’s a good idea for me and you to be doing this right now.”

  His smile falters. “Because of Andrew? I hate to tell you Ruby, but he’s cheating on you.”

  “Yeah, I know. So does everyone else.”

  “What? Since when?”

  “Since last night.”

  He reaches for his phone. “Crap. I had everything sent to voicemail so I could get this finished. There are a dozen messages here from Nick.”

  “Things are bad, and I talked to Andrew and Iris. We think we know who’s behind ZWankHard.”

  “Who is it?”

  “I’ll tell you, but first I need your help with something else. Andrew and I are cool, but I’m worried about Derek.”

  “Derek?”

  “Yeah, that sleazeball. He’s going to try to make me take the fall for this thing with Andrew. Which…”

  “Doesn’t only hurt you, but will hurt the movie also.”

  “Exactly. I need your help.”

  He nods and picks up his phone and starts dialing.

  g

  The following day, I’m sittin
g in a squishy booth at the Rocket Diner with my agent. Yes. I now have an agent. The last 24 hours have been busy. I told Gabe what happened, everything that happened. He went into action, calling his agent, who called his lawyer, who contacted another lawyer, who connected with another agent. Now, we’re meeting with Andrew and Derek in this crappy, out-of-the-way diner because no one could agree on a location.

  Naomi (my agent) and I met early to discuss my situation. Her goal, as she explained, is to keep me out of the media, save my job and focus on getting the movie completed — on schedule. I lie to Naomi about Reid. Gabe is the only one who knows the truth about his suspected involvement and he agrees this information should to be kept to ourselves until we can figure out the best way to stop him.

  I shift in my seat, tired of waiting, disturbed by Derek, who is normally all toothy grins and kisses on the cheek, but today barely made eye contact as I slid in the booth. I press my fingers against the coffee cup on the table. We each have one — but no one has taken a sip. Late July is too hot for coffee, even at 9 a.m. Andrew catches my eye across the table and smiles, which settles my nerves, until Derek leans in and whispers something in his ear that makes the friendly look disappear. I hate him for making this worse than it has to be.

  “Are we ready?” Naomi asks.

  “Whenever you are,” says Derek. He’s still fake-smiling for Naomi, just not me.

  Naomi is calm and business-like. Thank goodness, because I can feel the sweat accumulating under my arms. “How do you want to handle this?”

  “Obviously, my interest is in Andrew and how he looks after all of this. Since Ruby chose to exit Gabe Foster’s house in the middle of the night, in her pajamas, things don’t look good for her. Frankly, she looks like a cheating whore.”

  “Hey!” I interject. Naomi’s hand clamps down on my arm.

  He holds his hand up and shrugs. “You do, sweetheart, and that’s your problem and not mine.”

  “Ruby’s entitled to her own life. She’s not bound to Andrew and she hasn’t done anything wrong. Just because your little attempt to keep Andrew’s secret a secret backfired doesn’t mean you need to drag this young woman into the gutter.”