by Baker, LJ
"Huh?"
He laughed. "Do you have any idea how difficult it is for me not to scoop you into my arms and kiss you until your lips are sore?"
He looked over me as if I should answer so I shook my head. Words refused to make their way up my throat.
"You stand there and look at me with those sad, innocent eyes, and I wanna do anything in my power to keep you safe. I know part of that sadness is because Will is missing and I know you love him. But then you look at me like that, and I swear you actually want me to kiss you." He took a step closer and bit down on his lip once more. "Is that it? You want me to kiss you?"
There was a small bit in the back of my head that wanted to scream out and be heard, but I pushed her down. I couldn't think like that.
"I …”
Dan kicked a tree stump and dropped his hands to his sides. "Let's go, Andi. We are done talking. We have to find Will."
Chapter Twenty-One
Dan had been quiet earlier, but after our little talk, he was downright silent. The only time he opened his mouth was to point out oncoming flesh eaters, and those were getting more and more sparse. We still came across the bodies, but there weren't too many still hobbling around.
"Are you going to talk to me at all? You're never this quiet." I grabbed his arm to slow him down a bit. I was starting to get tired, and we had a few more hours to go for the day.
His arm stiffened, then relaxed. “Actually, sweetheart, I usually am this quiet. You just bring out the blabbermouth in me."
"I like listening to you talk." I nudged him with my elbow and tried to be playful. The mood definitely needed to lighten.
He looped his arm through mine and relaxed a bit more. "It's the accent, isn't it?"
"Totally. If I sounded like you, I'd never shut up."
Dan laughed. "You hardly shut up now."
I jabbed my elbow into his ribs. "Hey!"
The loud crack of a branch nearby caught our attention, and Dan brought his finger up to his lips. He raised his bow and scanned the area. There was no tell-tale moaning or growling, though that didn't necessarily mean it wasn't a flesh eater.
We took a few steps forward. Dan pushed me behind him, but I didn't let down my guard either. We were almost up to a clearing if the wooded area. We would have to go across a highway and past some shops, including a Pizza Playground that I once went to for a classmate's birthday party. The clown was drunk and puked all over one of the birthday presents. I never went back.
"It could have been nothing," I whispered.
"Is that what Janet taught you?"
He knew it wasn't. Janet was more vigilant and hyper alert than a vet with severe PTSD. She assumed the worst in every situation, never giving up until she found the danger, or got her group to safety.
But Janet was dead.
We were almost past the wooded area when I head steps behind me. I spun around, bow ready, and nearly knocked Dan over in the process. He caught himself and turned to see what got my attention. We both stood there still, silent. I could see a green jacket peeking out from behind a tree less than ten feet away.
Zombies didn't hide, so we were didn't quite know what we were dealing with. Clearly it was human, but whether it was friendly or hostile had yet to be determined.
Dan again stepped in front of me. "Come on out," he called over to our visitor.
Slowly, a young girl about eleven or twelve stepped out from behind the tree with her hands up. She wasn't armed and looked harmless enough, but that didn't mean she actually was.
"Stay here." Dan walked over to the girl and looked around. "You alone?" he asked the girl.
She shook her head and looked around behind her.
Dan looked back at me, or behind me really, and the color drained from his face. I turned to see what he was looking at and nearly lost my balance at the shock.
It was Will.
I wanted to run to him, jump in his arms, touch him to make sure he was real, but I was frozen in place. No part of me would move.
"Andi?" Realization registered on Will's face. His confusion faded, and one side of his mouth curved up into the most magnificent crooked smile.
That smile was all I needed to unglue myself from where I stood and close the distance between us. He met me halfway and lifted me into his arms for a crushing hug.
"I thought you were dead."
Will loosened his grip enough for me to take a breath. "Almost was a few times. What are you doing out here?"
“Looking for you, of course.” Tears fell down my cheeks and onto his chest. “I thought you were dead.”
He swiped his hand across my face to wipe the tears. "Then you should be back at the base where you’re safe. I would have made it back. I promised you, didn't I?"
"Yes, but …”
"You didn't believe me?"
Dan and the girl walked closer, but kept just enough distance not to interrupt the reunion.
"Of course I did, but you had no right promising that. You didn’t make it back, and your ring did. I was worried."
"I know. I'm sorry you had to worry about me. Wait, what do you mean my ring did?”
I pulled the chain up from around my neck where the ring dangled against my chest. “This made it back without you. What happened?”
Will held up a bandaged finger. “Broke it. I had to take the ring off and didn’t realize I lost it until a couple days ago. I can’t believe you ended up with it. Who had it?”
“Hadley.”
“Hadley? How the hell did she get it?”
I shook my head and shrugged. “One of the soldiers. She didn’t know who”.
“Well, I guess it doesn’t matter now. I’m just glad it’s with you and not lost in the woods.” He dropped the ring back down my shirt and glanced around. “So, where's Janet? I know she didn’t let you come out here on your own. I have some shit to give her, too."
I leaned my head against his chest and let more tears fall. Somehow, telling Will that Janet was gone made it so much worse.
“Hey, now, don't cry. What happened? Is she giving you crap again?" Will tried to lift my chin up to look at him, but I couldn't bring myself to allow it. Looking into those eyes when I told him she was gone would wreck me.
Dan took a few steps closer and put his hand on my shoulder. "Will … Janet, she didn't …” He took a deep breath and swallowed hard. "She didn't make it."
Will tensed, but didn't respond.
"It was before Andi and I met up, while they were looking for you," Dan said and gave Will a moment to process the news.
“What exactly do you mean, she didn’t make it?” His chest was rising and falling quickly, and his breaths came out in sharp bursts.
I laid my head against him and released the sobs that burned in the back of my throat. As much as I hurt for my own loss, I hurt for Will’s even more.
Dan swallowed hard and continued. “She died, Will.”
Dan wasn’t quite as close to Janet as Will, but it wasn’t too far off. Her death hurt him too, but he held it together on the surface so much better than I did.
Will’s grip on me tightened to the point of pain, but I remained still in his arms while the news sunk in. A single fat tear dropped onto my head before Will wiped it away and took a long, slow breath and released it in one quick exhale. “When?”
Dan let his hand drop from my shoulder and stepped back. “A few days ago.”
I should have been the one answering his questions, but just trying to control my sobbing was all I could handle.
Will lifted my tear-stained face up. His beautiful eyes welled with tears, but he held them back. "I'm so sorry, baby."
I didn't know what kind of response I expected, but that wasn't it.
I choked back the lump in my throat and pushed back from him a bit. "I'm the one who's sorry, Will. I know how close you and Janet were. She cared more about you than anyone."
"Janet and I were close, but she talked about you all the time. She though
t of you like a little sister, though she did make me promise not to tell you she said that." Will wiped both thumbs over my face, swiping any excess tears away, and smiled.
The young girl took a step forward and grabbed Will’s hand. She looked up at him with wide eyes, then glanced over me with curiosity.
Will cleared his throat and released me to wrap his arm over the girl’s shoulder and smile down at her as if to say everything was all right. "You okay, Iz?"
She glanced around, then settled her eyes back on Will and nodded.
“Izzy, these are my good friends, Andi and Dan.”
She stepped forward and gave me a curious look with her head tilted to the side. I smiled at her, not sure what else to do. Dan walked closer and held out a hand to the girl.
She looked to Will for permission before taking it. He gave her a slight nod, and she took Dan’s hand. Her lips curved up into a shy smile, and her cheeks flushed pink. I rolled my eyes at the exchange. He even had the tweens batting their eyelashes at him.
“Nice to meet you, Izzy.” Dan winked and released the girl’s small hand.
She didn’t respond. Instead, she quickly shuffled behind Will for safety.
Will ran his ran over her head, then patted her back a few times. “She’s not really a talker.”
Dan smiled at her and walked over to a nearby tree to lean on. "Will, do you have a place to spend the night?"
There was still another hour or so of daylight, but it was an exhausting day, both physically and emotionally. I could not wait for it to be over.
"Sort of. Not the best place, but we can keep watch. No food though. You have anything?"
"Nah." Dan shook his head. "But I can go out and look for something after we get the girls settled. Andi looks wiped."
Will and Izzy spent the previous night holed up in an old Post Office. The windows had long ago been broken out but were boarded up, and there was only one way in or out. That made it easier to keep watch and make sure no one, breathing or not, made their way in as we slept.
Will hadn't intended on staying more than a night, but Izzy was nursing a sprained ankle, and he figured it would be better to wait a few days until she was healed before they set out.
After Will got Izzy settled with her leg propped up in the back room, and Dan set out to find us some dinner, Will and I finally got a chance to talk.
"What are you planning on doing with the kid?" I asked and hopped up on a counter against the wall to rest.
Will peered out the front door to make sure no one was out there. "Well, I was planning on taking her back to the military base. I can't exactly leave her all alone out here."
"Oh."
"Oh? That's all you have to say?" He walked over to me and stood between my knees.
"I don't know. It's just … that place. I'm still not sure about it, you know."
He squeezed himself closer and wrapped his arms around my waist. "Did something else happen while I was gone?"
I looped my fingers in his belt and slid toward the edge of the counter so I was right up against him. "No, but there are too many unanswered questions, and after what I saw, I would be too afraid to even ask. There might be another option for Izzy, though. I met a couple that had a pretty decent set up. There was a girl with them just a year or two older than Izzy. I think it might be a good place for her, and it's not too far from here, so we wouldn't have to go all the way back to the base then back out here."
His hands slid up my back and up through my hair. "I'm guessing you've made up your mind about not returning to the base then."
I nodded and my breathing picked up. He inched closer, dragging out the inevitable. Patience was not one of my virtues, and it had been too long since I felt his lips on mine. I reached up, pulled his neck down, and clamped my hands in place. There was no way I was waiting any longer.
"Such an impatient little thing you are," Will said against my lips before gliding his tongue along them.
There was no way I was letting him tease me. I knew he wanted it just as much as I did. I pulled him hard against me, pressing his lips against mine. My hands slid up and found his hair. It was a tangled mess, but wrapped around my fingers, it was perfect. His lips were rough and chapped, and he needed to shave. My face would be red and sore from where he scratched against it, but I never wanted the kiss to end.
In one hot instant, the clothes between us were too much. I wanted to pull them off and feel his skin against mine. The thought shocked me like I was jabbed with a hot poker and I jumped back, breaking the kiss.
Will was confused. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing. I …”
… Wanna rip your clothes off and feel your bare skin.
"Umm …” I let my eyes fall. The last thing I was going to do was tell him what I was thinking in that moment. "Nothing."
Will shot me a disappointed smile. "Okay. For now."
He walked back over to the door and peered around.
I kicked my sneakers off my feet and let them fall to the floor. "So, what happened? How did you get separated?"
"The usual stuff. You don't really want to talk about that, do you?" He turned and raised one eyebrow in my direction.
My imagination had come up with so many scenarios already over what could have happened to him. I was afraid whatever he told me could possibly be even worse.
"Probably not." I took a breath and closed my eyes. "I thought you were dead … or undead."
Will walked back over and hopped up on the counter next to me. "And you still came looking for me, risking your own ass?"
"I had to know. Don't tell me you wouldn't have done exactly the same thing if it was me."
"Baby, there's no way I would have let you go out there without me in the first place. But, yes. I would have gone looking for you no matter what. Look, I get why you did. That doesn't mean it wasn't reckless or stupid. I want you alive."
I leaned my head against his arm and took in his scent. "No more than I want you alive."
Will laughed. “Oh, I don't know about that. You wrote me off as zombie food pretty quick."
"Idiot." I huffed. "You would have thought the same thing too, if it were me. Anyway, I wasn't the only one who thought your chances were slim."
"It's my fault she's dead." His voice cracked and he frowned.
"It's not your fault, Will. If anything, it's mine."
"Yours? How could it possibly be your fault? She was out there looking for me. If I didn't get separated from the group, or could have made it back on my own, she would still be alive." Will shook his head. "No, Andi. It's because of me."
"When those other guys came back and you weren't with them, I begged her to come with me to look for you. Not only did she refuse, she banned me from going. Like, seriously, she told the guys at the gate not to let me out. I was trying to find another way out to go on my own."
"Well, that's even more idiotic." Will huffed.
"Regardless, it was me that pushed to go look for you. I was horrible to her about it. If I just listened to her and waited, you would have made it back, and she would still be alive." I tried not to think about it that way, but it was true.
"That doesn't make it your fault. Janet knew how to say no if she didn't think it was the right thing to do." Will shifted and leaned back on his elbows. He had tears in his eyes, but he fought them back.
“By that reasoning, it can’t be your fault either then.” I raised an eyebrow and smirked.
Will sighed and hopped off the counter to stand in front of me again. "I guess I can’t argue with that, and I guess we can't change what happened. I wish we could, but we can't." He pushed my hair behind my ear and smiled. "I love you, ya know?"
I leaned down and kissed him. "You better."
Chapter Twenty-Two
Dan made it back with a couple of snakes that I couldn't even bring myself to look at. I was hungry, and food was food, but that didn't mean I wanted to look at the slimy reptiles that would become my dinner. He
cooked them on a small camp stove that he carried in his oversized backpack. Izzy was a little too eager to help out, probably because she had a crush on Dan, but he was sweet about it. Although Izzy stayed quiet, Dan chatted nonstop the whole time to her.
We had been getting lucky with the places we slept, most of which had mattresses on the floor at the very least. The Post Office wasn't nearly as comfortable of a place to sleep, but we would have to make do with two sleeping bags between us. Both Will and Dan carried one with their packs, so we'd manage.
One of us needed to keep watch anyway, so one sleeping bag went to Izzy, and the other could be shared. I knew the guys would insist on splitting the watches between them, so whichever one wasn't up could share with me.
Dan looked over at me sitting in Will's lap after dinner, and for the first time, I thought I saw a hint of jealousy on his face. "I'll take the first watch if that's okay with you, Will?"
"Good with me." Will slid me off his lap and set up the sleeping bag for the two of us.
We decided to stay in the Post Office lobby near the front door so we'd all be together. I for one, certainly had enough of being separated. As much as I would have liked to be alone with Will, I didn't want to leave Dan. I was ecstatic to find him again and I wanted to keep him in my life.
It was a tight squeeze for Will and me in the sleeping bag, but that only made it better. After thinking he was gone from my life, I wanted to be as close as I could possibly be. Just feeling him next to me made me feel safer.
Dan set up a stool near the door and settled in for his watch. I felt a little guilty knowing how he felt about me as I snuggled against Will for the night. One deep breath into Will's chest and I was intoxicated by his scent enough to lose any thoughts of anything other than the fact that I was there with him. A few deep breaths into him and I was out like a light.
The next time I woke up was when Will and Dan switched places. Will eyed Dan with his lips pressed together as Dan climbed into the sleeping bag with me. Dan looked like he was avoiding eye contact with Will for some reason. It was an odd exchange. Will was certainly showing some signs of jealousy, something I thought we got past a while back, so it didn't really make sense.