Hell's Glitch (LitRPG): Into a Dark Adventure

by Belart Wright

Two of the Stumpies turned around and immediately rolled towards Sam. The third began its roll after the other two and Sam was effectively trapped. He dodged one rolling attack only to be struck with two consecutively from the side and back. That quick, he lost one-third of his HP.

  “Why the hell does everything in this game want to kill me? Even evil-freakin’-baby-midget-coconuts. I never liked nasty coconuts anyway you ugly bastards!”

  He rose to his feet and ran to a tree, putting his back to it as the three coconut-bros revved then took off towards him. He dodged out of the way at the last possible minute. One of the Stumpies in the rear had clipped him, but they all collided with the tree, knocking a fourth Stumpy down. All were dizzy and stunned, so Sam quickly let loose all he had, killing all four with one heavy strike apiece.

  “You hear that? Coconut is nasty! I hate it, just like I hate you!”

  He looted all of them and got a Stim Plant from each then quickly took a drink from his Soul Fire to heal the damage he had taken.

  He looked up at the trees and branches above him. There were coconut-bro bastards hanging everywhere. As soon as he stepped further into the forest he would quickly find himself overwhelmed by them.

  “Oh, hahaha—no! Looks like I won’t be going that way.”

  In the distance, beyond the trees there was some type of giant gateway leading to what looked to be a giant cliff side. It was the same one he noticed when he had encroached IMMORtAL_Kalika the second time, only now it was closer. Sam looked up to see if it were possible to fight each of the coconut enemies one at a time so that he could get through without losing any HP. It was possible, though some looked like they would automatically drop two at a time. But that would take too long. He still had more glitches to find.

  “Hold on ... what’s that?”

  Some of the branches were empty and some of them led to other empty branches on other trees. Looking closely enough, Sam could see that there was a potential path into the forest that bypassed all the Stumpies. He couldn’t see the path all the way through the forest, but he decided to at least go as far as he could see. He hoped the path would lead him to that gateway or at least to some cool loot. The gateway would most likely have his first boss. Sam was eager to see what a boss would actually look like up close in VR. The bosses in The Death Planes were impressive enough in plain 3D, but in full immersion they’d be absolutely terrifying.

  Following the empty branches proved to be a very good idea. Sam found himself nearly out of the forest without a single fight. Finally, the giant gateway was looming just up ahead.

  Not far from there, he heard a growl coming from the forest. Soon, a giant lumbering creature slowly walked onto the path he was heading down and sat down near the forest exit at the end of the path. It looked just like the undead bear that he came across when he’d encroached IMMORtAL_Kalika earlier. As a Walker, the bears wouldn’t attack him then, though he wouldn’t be so lucky this time.

  “Ooooh man, this is shit. They would put a damn bear right at the exit. That’s the only way out of here as far as I can tell. If I leave this path then the asshole coconuts gang up and kill me. If I go down this path, I have to fight a goddamn zombie bear somehow without leaving this path. As soon as I leave, I’ll be ganged by the coconut assholes anyway. I forgot how goddamn cheap this game is. It’s so frustrating! I hate it! I love it! I want more dammit!”

  Sam ran forward like a maniac, straight at the undead bear in his path. The bear slowly rose to its feet as Sam approached, its red eyes glowing in the dark and some sort of creepy haze coming from its sharp-fanged open maw.

  Sam ran around the nightmarish creature, evoking the ire of the Stumpies above. Sam heard about six of them fall down behind him as he cleared the forest and found himself in a more open aired setting. He was on a huge open cliff. Exactly where he probably didn’t want to be, from Barrington’s earlier advice but behind him was a growing threat that he really didn’t want to deal with, so he pressed forward recklessly.

  He could hear the Stumpies begin their rolling attacks and he heard the pissed off undead bear roaring its anger into the sky. None of that sounded particularly appetizing, so he kept on running to the huge cliff. He ran in an unorthodox zigzag pattern, like someone trying to avoid bullets. One of the Stumpies had rolled right past him followed by another.

  He was right at the gate now, and up close it was way bigger than he had expected. He didn’t have time to marvel at its architecture. He narrowly avoided another Stumpy attack from behind. Getting hit even once would knock him down and allow the enemies to catch up to him.

  He eyed his stamina gauge and saw it close to depleting fully. He had to slow down just a little so that he wouldn’t fully deplete it. As soon as he reached the gateway, he plowed right into it, not even bothering to read the inscriptions scrawled across it. He passed through some sort of mysterious barrier, something that obscured the view to the other side of it. The barrier seemed to be composed of the same spiritual white mist as the souls that Sam had frequently absorbed.

  On the other side of the barrier, his stamina had faded all the way down to nothing and he was forced to stop and take in all the air that he could. It was a sort of stunned state where he couldn’t move until at least a tiny portion of his stamina gauge recovered. Ahead of him was a wide open stone and grass covered area. It was a perfect place for a boss encounter, so Sam was savvy enough to know what to expect next.

  He took the time to slow down a little bit, to let some of his adrenaline wear down, and to think of his next couple of moves. The boss hadn’t yet activated, so Sam quickly looked behind him, and stared deeply into the barrier. If one got really close to it, they could actually see through the barrier. At a distance it looked vaguely like a mirror, but now Sam could see the enemies that he’d left behind walking back into the forest. They’d known not to cross the barrier or perhaps they couldn’t. Either way, Sam was grateful. Now though, his mind was on the challenge ahead.

  “My first boss.”

  He looked at the wide open sky of the cliff face ahead, it was beautiful. It was still night time in the game and Sam had to wonder if perhaps daylight would never come to the game world. But he could definitely see that they were on a big mountain. The mountain lingered above him, mostly on the right side and he knew at that moment that the whole forest was set on a large mountain. He stopped and thought about this part of the game in the old Death Planes version. Milner and his crew had changed up some of the things in the forest, maybe just to throw the testers off. The characters were different and some of the enemies were changed from the game before, but this part was unmistakable.

  This was the area that led, from the City of the Dead to the Assassin’s Forest. And the boss here was unmistakable as well. It was a boss that made Sam nearly give up on the prospect of traveling to the Assassin’s Forest all those years ago.

  “Here we go! Time to fight the Forest Dragon.”

  19 Cheap Cheap Cheap

  Sam found that he couldn’t exit the gated barrier behind him. Just like in the previous Death Planes game, once you crossed the barrier, you had to defeat the boss to make the barrier disappear. Though, he could always use his Phoenix Floo to escape back to the Soul Beacon if things got too hectic.

  “What did they call this thing before? A soul barrier?”

  He quickly checked his items for something useful that could help with this fight. He read the descriptions for both of his new items.

  Warrior’s Soul

  Souls of this nature can be broken down into usable soul currency.

  A fierce warrior’s soul. Oftentimes clarity can be gained on the battlefield. Struggle breeds greatness and there is no greater struggle than life or death combat. The warrior’s soul is strengthened through such conflicts.

  Decoy Soul

  Lures simple minded enemies to the location where it was thrown.

  Cursed men, curious minds, demons, and those who thirst for power are all attracted by so
uls. It has been a fact of life since history has been recorded. A decoy soul is a weak soul that has been given false properties to make it more appealing. Those who aren’t finely attuned in the soul artes can be easily fooled into thinking that these are the highly coveted prizes that they’ve been seeking.

  Stim Plant

  Aids in the regeneration of stamina.

  A very useful plant that resourceful warriors and soldiers use to enhance their performance in battles of endurance. It is said that this plant lets even old warriors and soldiers fight as if they were in the prime of their lives. There was a rumor long ago that some famous Alchemist was responsible for creating these wondrous herbs though many saw such a man-made triumph as an affront to the supreme ones.

  It was just as he suspected. The Warrior’s Soul and the Decoy Souls wasn’t something he’d get any immediate use out of, but the Stim Plants that he’d collected from the Stumpies should come in handy here. He put them in his Quick Select slot along with everything else he had there including his Soul Fire, Torch, Bandages, and Absorption Herbs.

  His gear was the best and only gear that he currently had and his Rapier was his best weapon by far, especially now that it was upgraded. He was as ready as he’d ever be for what was to come. He inhaled deeply then let it all out in a long breath.

  “Alright, here we go.”

  Sam held his shield up and stepped forward into the open. The dew coated grass covering the ground was laid flat by each of his footsteps. He looked around for the expected threat, but found himself blanketed by a sudden shadow. Something had eclipsed the sky above in mere moments. Sam felt a rush of air and friction crash into him and break him.

  The force had knocked him flat to the ground. He didn’t have enough words to currently describe any of the pain he was in. It all felt brand new and his body felt nearly useless. Perhaps this was what getting hit by a truck felt like. Like all your bones were ground into mulch.

  Luckily, or unluckily, he was still alive and possessed a barely visible sliver of HP. He had the presence of mind to instinctively get up to his feet so that he could move out of the way and heal his damage. Once on his feet, he held his shield up again and looked for whatever the hell had hit him.

  The first thing he noticed was a tree, a really tall one that wasn’t present before. This one was wider and had thicker bark than many of the others in the forest. But that wasn’t all, there were three other tall trees nearby that weren’t there before. He noticed that they swayed frequently as if blown by the night wind—no—not only that but they were moving forward and bending at certain sections. They were legs.

  Sam glanced upwards and caught sight of the beast’s body. The sight made him wish that he had stayed on the ground. It was enormous, massive, and terrifying. The upper parts of each of its legs as well as its body was green and purple, same as the forest leaves. Its body was thick, seemingly engorged, with a round center and a long and thin neck.

  Sam could currently only see one side of the creature. It had a bulbous head with bulging red and yellow eyes with a purple procession of leaves covering much of its head and cascading down part of its neck. They had completely redesigned it and made it even bigger than the Forest Dragon in the Death Planes.

  How the hell was he supposed to kill something that was the size of a whale?

  He didn’t have time to get a good look at it before it started attacking again. It reared its head back at him and Sam prepared to roll out of the way, even though he felt like he would fall over at any moment. Instead of chomping at him, like he expected, it blew a thick crimson mist all over Sam and the rest of the battlefield.

  The mist was hot, enveloping Sam like a shower, and it quickly brought relentless pain with it, some burning sensation. Sam was blown to the ground by the force of the spray and as he lied there, he watched as the grass all around wilted into a dead field of brown. His own health, what little he had, was swiftly ticking down from the instant poison and bleedout status that the attack had inflicted. The only good thing about this encounter, Sam thought, was the fact that he had at least outlived the grass. His screen faded to black followed by some familiar words painted in red.

  YOU HAVE DIED

  Sam regained consciousness along with a splitting headache at the Soul Beacon in Barrington’s camp. He was lying down when he came to. He sat up and looked over at the startled bear and blacksmith. He ignored them and sat up in front of the fire. Oh how much he missed its warmth! The cold air and loneliness of his journey was always negatively amplified whenever he died and this feeling of home brought forth by the Soul Beacon and his proximity to two characters that he trusted for the most part, it all felt ... safe. Sam sat there rubbing his hands and extending them into the fire somewhat mindlessly.

  “That didn’t go well, now did it?” Barrington asked.

  “Not how I would’ve liked,” Sam answered back.

  He would’ve liked to at least have gained some more info about the monster and its attack patterns before he was killed by it. It was definitely a poor performance, but Sam didn’t completely blame himself for his loss.

  “That was so fucking cheap.”

  He stared into the fire thinking of everything that happened in the lead up to the boss fight. His anger grew hot as he thought of all the trials he had to go through just to get to the boss gate.

  “Cheap ass Stumpies everywhere dropping down all the time! Then you have to take a fuckin’ thin ass path to get to through the damn forest and avoid them—oh—but guess what? There’s a huge ass zombie fuckin’ bear that needlessly parks its fat ass down the trail that I need to go down to fight the mother of all shit-holes.”

  Sam’s rant had seemingly only just begun. His next lines were delivered in a voice reminiscent of a certain cartoon bear with an affinity for picnic baskets.

  “Eh Sam buddy! Imma not your average bear! Imma big ass zombie bear and I don’t want no pic-a-nic basket, I want your brains little buddy, hoohoohoohoooo!”

  Sam’s thoughts turned from the journey, to the boss fight itself.

  “Oh and once I finally do power through all that bullshit, there’s still the cheap ass hippie dragon! ‘Oh, I’m a dragon, but I’m made out of trees and other dumb shit. Flowers and rainbows yall! I’m a dragon that’s good for the environment har har har. Save the trees yo, see I don’t even breathe fire. I breathe peace and love and by peace and love, I mean murderous poison that inflicts fifty different status ailments including athlete’s foot.’”

  A familiar voice interrupted his rant.

  “Sam, Sam, Sam, stop it please! You’re killing me here!” Alex explained.

  “You guys are shit designers, you know that! How the hell was the player supposed to know to avoid an attack as soon as they stepped on the field?”

  “Calm down, cowboy. Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?”

  Sam was losing his patience.

  “Is there a reason for your call, Alex?”

  “I just wanted to explain the method to our madness here. We wanted to see how quickly you testers could react to that kind of ambush. Only you and a few others have made it to that boss’ Soul Plane so far, but you’ve given us some great data on player reactions,” she explained.

  “Let me guess. You’ve learned that your boss kills all your players almost instantly?” he asked.

  “All except for two and only one of them beat the boss on the first try, but it took her a really long time to do it.”

  Sam wondered if it was the crafty opponent he had faced earlier, the IMMORtAL_Kalika or if it were some other hotshot female player who had proven so skillful.

  “Now Sam, stop bad-mouthing our boss. We worked really hard on its design and the mechanics for the encounter.”

  “I liked the old one better.”

  She gasped cartoonishly.

  “Now you’re just being spiteful Sam Nathaniel Nagai!”

  He grinned and shot her back a response.

  “What the hel
l? That’s not my middle name.”

  “I needed something to express my matronly disappointment and that was all I could come up with on the spot.”

  “Fine, Alex. Call me whatever you like. And thanks by the way.”

  “For what?”

  “For the laugh. I needed it.”

  “I uh ... I should be thanking you for that. Things have been pretty tense on my end.”

  He wondered why. Had the alpha test taken a wrong turn? Maybe the testers weren’t uncovering the right kind of data, the data that Milner and his crew were looking for. Or maybe they were turning up too much of it. While Sam did have a lot of fun in the game, he had already discovered three glitches in it. Well, he found two, to be truthful. But more and more, his increased pain felt like the worst glitch of them all, constantly threatening to take away all of his enjoyment out of the game.

  “How so, Alex? I thought you sounded a little tense last time.”

  “I can’t really talk about it, well I shouldn’t. It’s company policy. I just want you to stay safe in there, okay? I want you to win this contest and beat this game. You’re one of the best players in there, Sam, but I need you to get even better.”

  Stay safe? That was a weird thing to say to someone playing a videogame, but they both knew his pain receptors were glitching out. She was completely right about him improving though. He also wanted to win the contest and beat the game, so he needed to get even better and he needed to stop complaining.

  “Okay Alex, thanks for the pep talk, doll.”

  “Doll? What year do you think this is, Sam? Nineteen thirty? Nobody says sexist stuff like that anymore.”

  Sam chuckled.

  “Sorry, I couldn’t help myself.”

  “What, that you’re a misogynist?”

  “Come on, give me some more credit than that, Alex baby.”

  “Oh, you think you’re funny, well you’re not Samuel Nathaniel Yoshinori Nagai!”

  They both laughed at their combined ridiculousness.