by S. E. Lund
Sleep was a long time in coming.
CHAPTER TWO
I woke to find that Kate was up already, which was unusual, since it was me who had business that required me to leave the apartment. I saw she was sitting at the dining room table so I decided to have a quick shower and get ready, just in case I got a call with the results of the compatibility test.
As I washed, I wondered what would happen if I wasn’t a match and how long it would take to find a suitable tissue donor for Liam. He wasn’t doing well and had one of the most aggressive forms of leukemia, which no longer responded to chemotherapy. Sadly for Liam, it was stem cells or death.
I finished up and wrapped a towel around my waist, then glanced through the bathroom door and saw Kate standing there, watching me.
She smiled slowly and there was a definite expression of desire and lust in her eyes. I left the bathroom and went to her.
"There you are," I said, pulling her into my arms. "I have a meeting with the oncologist about my test results. My tech promised me he'd work on the test last night so he should have finished the tissue study and sent the results over by now."
"How certain is it? As his father, are you more likely to be a tissue match?"
I shook my head. "Not necessarily. Sometimes yes, sometimes no. It depends on the roll of the genetic dice. Identical twins are the best source, and then siblings, but sometimes a perfect stranger can be the best match."
Kate put her cup of coffee on the windowsill and leaned against me. "If you are a match, how soon before they start the procedure?"
"Hopefully, right away. Depends on how the oncologist wants to proceed. I won't be feeling too well for a week or so while they stimulate my bone marrow, so I hope we can do our scene tonight when I'm done with all my meetings."
She looked up at me and I could tell she liked that idea.
"I think you're ready," I said and stroked her cheek. I imagined what she would look like as she knelt by the bed, blindfolded, wearing only her hose and garters. "If I tried it too soon, you would've been overwhelmed. Now, you're more familiar with submission so you'll be able to enjoy every element."
She sighed and slipped her arms around my waist. Then, the landline rang and I let go of her, pulling out of the embrace to answer the phone.
"Drake Morgan," I said.
“Hey, Dr. Morgan, it’s Jake at the lab. We got your test back.”
My heart rate increased immediately. "Oh, hello. Thanks for calling. What have you got for me?"
“Good news. You’re a match.”
Adrenaline surged through me. "Are you certain?" I said, my voice choking a bit. I turned away, one hand on my forehead, overwhelmed.
“Absolutely. Test came back and you’re the best possible match.”
I couldn’t keep a huge smile off my face. "Best possible match?"
“Yes. On all markers you were almost perfect.”
"OK, thank you so much for calling."
I hung up, clasped my hands behind my head and just stood there. I looked out of the living room window but didn't really see anything, my mind consumed with the news. Kate came up behind me but didn’t say anything at first.
"I'm so happy, Drake."
I nodded, but didn’t turn around. Then, I exhaled. "Christ. I was so worried. There was a chance I wouldn't be a match, so I didn't want to get my hopes up…"
She stood closer then slipped her arms around my waist, laying her head against my back. We stood there for a while, the apartment silent except for the noise from the street that filtered up through the windows.
Finally, I turned around and embraced her. My arms slipped around her waist and pulled her against my body tightly. I had to fight off tears, so I held my breath as I tried to gain control over myself.
The positive test results meant I could save my son’s life—the son I never knew I had and would probably never get to know until he was an adult—if he survived.
Finally, I released Kate because I had to let Michael know I’d be late coming to Africa and wouldn’t be able to take over a slate at the hospital.
"I'll be right back," I said. "I'm going to send an email to Michael in Nairobi that I'm a match and will have to give up my OR time."
She followed me to the desk in the dining room where I had an old computer.
"That's too bad, Drake. I know you wanted to help out." She stood in the doorway and watched as I opened the laptop on the desk.
I shook my head. "What's a surgical slate compared to a son's life?"
Then, my cell phone rang back in the living room, the trill urgent.
"Can you get that?" I asked as I checked my email.
"Yes, sure," Kate said and went back to the living room to my cell phone.
In a moment, she walked back to where I sat and handed me the cell. "It's Maureen."
I took the phone. "Hey," I said and ran a hand through my hair.
“Did you hear?” she said, her voice a bit breathless.
"Yeah, I just got the news. I'm so pleased."
“Thanks so much for agreeing to do this. Chris and I really want you to know we appreciate it. I know you have to change your plans in Kenya…”
"No, it's no problem. I'm glad to help. Anything to help."
“Listen, Drake,” Maureen said her voice lowering. “This doesn’t change anything. Don’t think this means you can get involved, get to know him or anything. There’s enough turmoil in his life without learning Chris isn’t his biological father. It broke Chris’s heart to learn Liam wasn’t his and that I was still sleeping with you. You have to understand. This could have broken us up. Please don’t push. Please keep this limited to making the donation.”
"I will," I said, irritated that she was reminding me something I had already agreed to. "I understand."
“Seriously, Drake. No sneaking in to see him or anything.”
"No, I said I understand. You don't have to worry. Chris is his father. I'm a total stranger." Emotion built in me and I exhaled in an attempt to regain control. "I'm meeting with the oncology team and will make the arrangements. Thanks for calling."
I hung up and stood there, shaking my head.
"What's the matter?"
"She wanted to remind me," I said and my voice broke for a moment. I took in a deep breath to calm myself. "She wanted to remind me that this didn't change anything. I'm still not going to be part of Liam's life. As if I don't already know that. Jesus, she must think I'm a real idiot."
I turned away and leaned against the windowsill once more, watching the cars on the street below as I tried to pull my thoughts together. Kate came over to me and touched my shoulder gently. "That wasn't very nice of her, especially considering how cooperative you are."
I sighed. "She doesn't want to screw things up with Chris. He was shocked to learn Liam wasn’t his. It meant she was still fucking me when she was fucking him. That must have hurt," I said and sighed. "They almost broke up about it, so you can imagine how hard this has been for her as well. And for Chris."
"Hard for all of you."
I sighed and said nothing. She stood quietly behind me. I didn't feel guilty but I felt I needed to clarify the situation for Kate. Finally, I turned back to her.
"Kate, she'd like to think I forced her to have sex, absolve her of responsibility for fucking me even after our marriage had failed, but I didn't. I remember the last time we had sex vividly. She had sex with me, willingly. She was maybe a bit reluctant at first, claiming she wasn't feeling very romantic, so I," I said, shrugging. "I seduced her. I didn't force her. I want you to know that. We hadn't been having sex very much. I'd been away a lot. I would never force her."
"Of course you didn't, Drake. I know. You wouldn't force her or anyone."
I looked deeply in her eyes to see if she believed me.
"Listen, let's forget about this," she said. "You have such good news to be happy about. Can I get you a cup of coffee? Something to eat?"
"Sure," I said and si
ghed, brushing my fingers against her cheek. "Thanks. I've got to call Michael, explain things. It's early evening in Africa, so I'll call him at home. He'll understand. He said that if the match was good enough, and I stayed to donate, he could find someone to take over my cases."
"Are we still going to go to Kenya?"
"Not for a while. I'm sorry, it's not only the transplant, but Liam…" I said, taking in a deep breath. "While I'm a perfect match, there are still risks. I want to stay around for a few weeks, see how he handles the transplant. They'll put him on anti-rejection drugs but still, there's always a chance he could reject the transplant—or it could reject him. Maybe not until March, right before class starts depending on how Liam does."
She leaned in closer and hugged me. I bent down and kissed her then buried my face once more in her neck and rocked her for a moment.
"I better get dressed,” I said and pulled out of the embrace. “I have a meeting with the hematologist and later, one with a colleague about a paper we were collaborating on. We'll have to rebook our flights for next month at the earliest, depending on how long I take to recover and how Liam does."
She forced a smile and I knew she was disappointed that we weren’t going to spend much time together. I went to the bedroom while she went to the kitchen to fix us breakfast.
Kate had been so excited to go to Africa and now I was asking her to hold off her plans. She would be upset, especially after I asked her to take a semester off to come with me. Still, I could tell she understood how important this was and squelched any disappointment, putting on a happy face for me.
I appreciated it deeply.
I dressed quickly and had a quick meal of toast and fruit. Then I kissed her after I put my coat on by the front door.
"How long will you be?"
I sighed. "I should be pretty busy all morning. What are your plans for the day?"
"I think I'm going to make a canvas for a painting I'm planning. If we're going to stay for a while until you give the donation and see how it takes, I think I'd like to work on a new piece."
"Oh? You're painting again?" I said, my interest piqued. I felt bad that she had been planning on painting again but hadn’t said anything yet. I had been too busy focused on my own issues.
"Yes, and the painting's going to be pretty big, so I'm going to a friend's studio to start work on it."
"What painting?" I asked, curious about her plans.
"It's a secret," she said, smiling coyly.
"I don't like secrets, Ms. Bennet,” I said and grinned. “I hope you know I'll do everything in my power to find out what it is."
"It's a gift," she said and pouted. "I don't want you to know until it's done."
"Whose studio is it?" I tried not to sound jealous of her time away from me, although I was definitely jealous.
"This young artist from Texas who's here taking his Masters of Fine Art at Columbia. He comes from a very rich family in the oil business and so he has this great studio. I can make the canvas there using his materials, and then work on it, too, if I need space."
"You two close?” I asked, kicking myself that I couldn’t just accept that she had friends outside of our relationship that didn’t involve me. Still, it alarmed me that she had been planning all this but hadn’t spoken to me about it yet. I’d been neglecting her and would have to try harder.
"He's a good friend from college, but he's a real artist," she said. "Unlike me, who's just a weekend variety."
"Don't put yourself down like that," I said and frowned, noting a tendency in Kate to diminish her own abilities. "You're talented. You've just chosen a different path. Which you could always change, if that made you happier."
She sighed. "I might deviate from that path for a while, now that I'm on leave from grad school. I want to get back into art, since I have the time."
"So, who is this rich kid from Texas and talented artist friend of yours? I need to know if I should be jealous…"
"Drake!" she said and stepped closer to me as I wrapped a warm scarf around my neck. "He's two years younger than me, is a pothead, has tattoos and piercings. The last time I saw him, he had a bright blue streak in his long blond hair. At first I thought it was paint, but no. It was blue hair color."
I laughed at the image she painted of her friend. "Still, artists are pretty sensual people," I said, wagging my eyebrows, fighting the jealous part of me but losing spectacularly.
She wrapped her arms around my neck. "You have no cause for jealousy. He's one of those free spirits who flits from lover to lover like a butterfly from flower to flower."
That made me think immediately of him tasting Kate of course and I felt an intense possessiveness towards her that I hadn’t felt for a very long time—if ever. “Has he sampled any of your nectar?"
"No," she said and gave my shoulder a playful tap.
"Maybe I should come with you, take a look at this studio," I said, wanting to see this guy and the space she would be sharing with him.
She nodded. "If you want. I'd love to show it to you, but you are not allowed to see my painting until I feel it's ready. I've just done a few sketches at this point, so it will be a while before it's finished."
"When do you want to go?" I kept my voice light, not wanting to make her feel smothered.
"I thought you'd be busy all morning so I asked him if I could come by…"
"I could make some time after I speak with the hematologist." I stood still for a moment and just looked at her.
"Call me and let me know when you're done,” she replied and nodded. “I'll text Nathaniel and let him know we'll be by."
"Sounds like a plan."
I kissed her, deeply, wanting to ensure she knew I wanted her, that I was her Dominant and her lover. I wanted to leave her breathless so she couldn’t wait for me to return. I told myself I didn’t have to worry about potboy, but I’d still do everything I could to make sure of it.
I spent my morning at the hospital. After meeting with the hematologist on Liam’s case to discuss the procedure through which they would extract my stem cells, I spent time on the wards checking with the nurses about Liam. I made sure not to run into Maureen but I did sneak by Liam’s room when Maureen was out getting coffee. Just a quick peek through the window. He was there with Chris, and looked so frail and small that it made my gut clench.
I went back to my office and sat quietly, reading over the latest research for a paper I was writing. Then I met a fellow neurosurgeon to go over the research we were collaborating on. I kept busy, which I needed so I wouldn’t dwell on the worst case scenarios that I knew could happen. Even with me being a perfect match, there were still a lot of potential problems that could arise. Liam wasn’t out of the woods by a long shot.
He wouldn’t ever be out of the woods completely. Children who survive leukemia often have other cancers later in life due to the effects of the chemotherapy on their bodies and the radiation used to destroy their bone marrow.
I knew it would be a difficult few months for Liam, Maureen and Chris. I would do everything I could to help and to keep out of their lives. I knew I was the interloper—the outsider. I’d do my part and not expect anything in return except news on how Liam was doing.
It was while I was in my office after my meeting that I received a text from Kate.
Drake, I spoke with Nathaniel and he’s agreed to let me use the studio to work on a canvas. I can go before lunch. Also, my father called and wanted to meet us at Katz’s Deli for lunch. I’d like to go if you’re able.
I texted her back right away:
Katz's sounds good. Haven't been for a while. I can pick you up at around eleven to go to the studio. Will you be ready?
She agreed and so I picked her up at about 10:45, texting her that I was on the street waiting. She emerged with her sketchbook and backpack, sliding into the passenger seat and leaning over to kiss me.
"So, where is this artist's hideaway?" I said while she buckled her seatbelt. "Where do yo
ung artist-type pot-smoking hipsters hang out now? When I was in college, it was in Soho, but it's really expensive there now."
"In an old commercial building on West 36th and 7th Avenue. It's not too far from your place in Chelsea."
"That's some pretty expensive real estate."
"His dad is like Rockefeller-rich in the oil business and could probably afford to buy a whole city block in Chelsea," Kate said.
I parked the car in a park & lock that was near the building. There was no security system, so we went right in and up the elevator to the top floor. Before we even reached the floor, I could hear music blaring from the studio. As we went into the studio, I stopped and took it in. Large tables, full-length windows, sinks splashed with multicolored paint, the walls splattered with bright colors, canvases lined up against the walls. Power tools, easels, work benches. Art work hung on the walls.
The studio was a totally different environment than any I had been in. It was crazy, mayhem, chaos, and I wondered if Kate liked this kind of life. It was such a sharp contrast to my own studious past, the labs, the science, the precision required in surgery.
For a moment, I felt like such a stranger.
Some guy with long blond hair was bent over a table. Kate went up behind him and I followed her, eager to meet the man she’d be spending time with. Alone. She tapped him on the shoulder and he turned around, made a face of recognition. Thankfully, he turned the music down so we could hear ourselves think.
"Hey, sug," Nathaniel said. Then he checked me out, and gave Kate a hug.
I didn’t like him touching her, although I couldn’t imagine that she could prefer a man like him over me. The toque he wore had a marijuana plant emblazoned on it, and a row of tiny silver hoops pierced his eyebrow. He wore Jamaican colors and sported a Bob Marley t-shirt. Sleeve tattoos covered each arm, and his faded jeans were torn. To top it all off, he was tall and skinny.
"This is Drake," Kate said and pointed to me. I did my best to smile, but I felt like an alien in this world.