by S. E. Lund
"Dude," Nathaniel said and waved his hand. "Come in, I don't bite unless I'm asked."
I went over to where they stood.
Nathaniel turned to Kate, his eyes moving over her. "You look as sweet as ever, Katie. I heard you won the thesis prize. Way to go."
Kate smiled and glanced at me quickly. "I'm taking some time off to go live in Africa for a while in March."
"Africa? Cool," Nathaniel said, eyeing Kate up and down. "So you’re going to get back into art? I've got lots of wood for frames, and tons of canvas. There's gesso and all the tools. If you need any help, let me know. We'll whip up a couple of canvases in no time."
"Sounds great. When can I come by?"
"If you want, you can stay now and we can get started. I need a break. The schedule's over on the counter by the sink," he said and pointed to the kitchen. Kate smiled and went over to the schedule on the wall. I followed her, wanting to see for myself when he would be working.
Kate turned to me and smiled. "I can't wait."
I returned her smile and ran my fingers over her cheek. "I'm glad you'll be able to work on your art." I bent down and kissed her, wanting pot-head-boy to know she was mine and to lay off.
"Who are the other two guys?" I asked, when I saw names on the schedule, trying to sound nonchalant.
"I don't know—a couple of Nathaniel's friends.
"So you'll all work together here?"
"We'll each have our own rooms."
I sniffed the air. "Smells like he smokes pot here, too. Are you okay with that?"
Kate shrugged. "He's a big boy. I'm not interested in getting high on anything but human endorphins. I'll be here to paint. I might get high off the paint thinner, but that'll be accidental." She grinned up at me. "Drake Morgan, are you jealous?"
I laughed and took her by the arms. "Always. Totally. Completely. I may have to come by and see these other characters before I approve."
"Drake…" she said, frowning. "You don't get to approve."
"Just kidding," I said, although I wasn’t. "Of course, you're free to do what you want outside of our agreement. I'm just curious to know the competition."
"There's no competition so don't even go there."
"I'm a man, Kate. I go there without even thinking."
"I love you," she whispered and pulled me down for a kiss. I kissed her back, the kiss deep, my hand cupping her face.
"I love you," I whispered back, wanting her to know it without any doubt. I didn’t want to ever give her any reason to turn to another man.
"Do you have something to do for an hour? I'd like to start making a canvas while I'm here. You could pick me up at 12:15 so we can get to Katz's by 12:30."
"Sure,” I said, although I was hoping to take her home for a quickie before going to Katz’s for lunch, but I didn’t want to deny her the chance to start working on her art. “I can pop by the Foundation. I'll text you when I'm back."
She walked me to the door and kissed me once more. I held onto the door for a moment and watched her walk back to Nathaniel. She waved at me and finally I closed the door and left. It wasn’t that I thought Kate would cheat on me. She would only turn to someone else if I gave her good reason. I was determined not to do that.
I wouldn’t be my father.
I went to the Foundation and sat in my office, at a loss for something to do. My admin, Nancy, had nothing pressing on her desk for me to look over and Dave was at an outside meeting so I sat and surfed the internet on the laptop in my office.
When my hour of killing time was up, I drove back to the studio in Chelsea and sat outside in the car.
I took out my cell and texted Kate to let her know I was there.
Your carriage awaits, my Lady…
She texted me back.
I'll be right down.
I got out of the car and stood beside it, waiting for her. When she came out of the building, I bent down to kiss her before she could open the car door.
"Hey," I said. "You've got sawdust in your hair."
Kate ran her hand through her hair, shaking out the bits of wood.
"We cut wood for the frame and then we had to miter the corners and make dados."
"Sounds complicated," I said and opened the passenger door.
"No, it's pretty straight forward once you have your dimensions. My canvas is pretty big so we had to do a lot of bracing so the canvas would be strong enough. I didn't even get a chance to stretch the canvas yet. I'll do that tomorrow."
She smiled at me and got in. I closed the door and came around the other side.
"You didn’t have any time on the sheet tomorrow."
She nodded. "Nathaniel said I could come in and work in the main studio."
"How nice of him," I said, deadpan, as we drove off. I couldn’t be jealous of him, but I was. I was jealous that he was a part of Kate’s life that I could never really share.
If Kate caught the jealousy in my voice she didn’t say anything in rebuke. Finally, she reached out and took my hand.
"You know the first time we met outside of class, Nathaniel was stoned and called me 'dude.'"
I laughed at that, glancing at her. "Well, he must have been really stoned because there is no way any man in his right mind would call you dude."
"He's harmless, Drake."
I shook my head. That was incredibly naïve of Kate but I relished it in her. "No man is harmless, unless you're going to tell me he's really gay, and even then, they've been known to change teams."
She laughed. "No, he's just a manslut. He'll gladly sleep with any pretty thing that will have him. No steady girlfriends. He's not my type in the least. You are."
"I am, Ms. Bennet," I said and touched the collar around her neck to remind her of its existence. "And you're mine."
We drove up to the deli and I dropped Kate off outside while I went in search of parking. The streets were busy and the parking a bitch, so I wanted Kate to go in and find her parents, and get her order.
I drove a several block radius around Katz’s Deli until a spot came open and then I walked back to the restaurant. I searched in the window and saw Kate and her parents, then I wound my way through the line until I was able to make it inside the restaurant. I smiled when I saw Ethan and Elaine, and we shook hands as per our usual routine.
"Congratulations, young man," Ethan said to me, pumping my hand. "Katherine's told us the news. You must be so relieved."
"Ethan, you don't know how relieved."
"We're so happy for you, Drake." Elaine kissed me on the cheek when I bent down to her.
I decided to go right to the counter to place my order, not wanting to delay any longer since they had already been waited on. I stood at the counter and ordered a pastrami Reuben with fries. As I waited, I glanced around at the room with its crowed rows of tables filled with hungry customers. Once I had my order, I put my tray down on our table and everyone admired the food while I removed my coat, hanging it on the back of my chair.
I handed them my plate of fries to sample.
The restaurant was packed with diners, the atmosphere busy and loud. I looked around, smiling as I remembered going with my father.
"This was one of my dad's favorite places when he visited me at Columbia. We always came here for a pastrami sandwich and the fries."
Ethan laughed. "We came here as well a few times. I knew it would probably be one of your favorites."
I took Kate’s hand and squeezed it on top of the table. "Yes, it is."
Then I told Ethan and Elaine about Liam and the donation. Finally, the talk turned to Africa and our impending trip that would be delayed.
"I'm sorry Kate has to wait, but once we get there, I'll keep her busy visiting my favorite places. I can't wait to introduce her to some good Kenyan food."
"I know something about African food," Kate said, smiling at me, real excitement in her eyes. "Rice and millet, spicy meats and vegetable stews."
"Wait till you taste ugali and nyama choma—
a paste made from cornmeal that you eat with vegetables and grilled meat. Very simple food, but very tasty."
The waitress brought the rest of the order and we all began to eat, enjoying the great deli food.
"You must have been worried that you weren't a match," Elaine said during a break in the conversation.
"I thought I'd be a good match since we have the same blood type," I said. "Sometimes totally unrelated people can be a better match than your closest relatives."
Ethan cleared his throat, and when he spoke, his voice was low. "I told Kate if you wanted to push paternal rights, I could help you with that."
I took in a deep breath. "Thanks, Ethan. I don't think I'll be pursuing any rights at this point." I shrugged, for I truly was torn. On the one hand, I had done nothing other than have an orgasm to produce Liam. On the other, he was my son. My only son. "Maureen wants to keep the fact I'm Liam's biological father quiet until he's old enough to understand. I can't blame her. Chris has been a good father so far. I don't want to intrude."
"That's very noble of you, Drake, but if you change your mind and want to push access, you have every legal right. You were married to her when he was conceived and he is your biological son."
I shook my head. "No, it wouldn't be fair at this point to tell Liam his father isn't his biological father. It would be too traumatic. If I thought for a minute that Chris wasn't a good father I might feel differently, but from everything I can see, he's been good for both Maureen and Liam. I can't interfere."
Ethan nodded. "Well, if you ever change your mind, I know some pretty good attorneys who would be able to help with that."
"Thanks for the offer," I said, wanting Ethan to know I appreciated his offer of help even though I fully intended to decline it.
Luckily, Kate changed the topic to Africa once more and then Ethan expounded on the upcoming nomination process for the open seat in the district, and we spoke of everything but Liam.
I finished up quickly, checking my watch. I had a meeting scheduled with one of the physicians who was taking over my caseload and I wanted to be there early to make sure I had everything ready.
"I have to run," I said, putting on my coat once more. "I have another meeting so can you get a ride with your dad?"
Kate nodded and I leaned down and kissed her cheek softly.
"I'll let you know when I'm finished. We can discuss our plans for tonight. I have something special planned to celebrate."
I caught her eye, hoping she understood what I meant. I wanted to do a full scene with her.
"You two have plans tonight? Going somewhere?" Ethan said, his face bright.
"We have something special planned," I said, smiling.
"Understandable," Ethan said, nodding his head in agreement. "You two take it easy. Will you be staying at Drake's place?" he said to Kate.
She glanced up at me, looking for my decision.
"Maybe 8th Avenue tonight," I said. I wanted to spend the night there and go through my father’s boxes. "There are a few boxes I want to go through."
"Of course." Kate smiled up at me while I bent down and kissed her once more, this time on the mouth.
I left the restaurant, threading through the tables and lines of eager patrons.
CHAPTER THREE
I met with Ben Stanford who would be taking over my caseload at NYP and we discussed each case and the plans for treatment. Then I sat alone in my office and thought about my son.
My brother Liam died before I was born. In fact, I was conceived as a way to help my mother overcome her depression following Liam's death. After Liam's long battle with the same kind of leukemia that my son now had, my mother wasn’t able to recover. She was probably still in a full-fledged depression when I was born, for I was told that she never did bond with me. Instead, she would often sit and let me cry while she smoked cigarettes and watched soap operas all alone in their apartment while my father pursued his busy career.
My father either didn’t recognize her deepening depression and neglect of me or didn’t know how to deal with it. As a trauma surgeon, he was used to fixing broken bodies, but not broken minds. I felt as if I never really had a father—not in the same way Kate did. I knew that Chris was a good parent but there was still a part of me that wanted Liam to know who I was. Who his grandfather was. I wanted to look through my father’s boxes for a picture of him receiving his medal. That would be something my son could appreciate one day when he was a grown man.
I sat and tried to close out some patient files and finish some other hospital related business, but as I did, my gut was in turmoil and a darkness descended over me. I felt a need to get drunk and not give a fuck for a while.
I picked up my cell and sent Kate a text.
I know you were probably hoping we'd do our scene tonight, but frankly, I'm not really up to it. I thought a quiet evening at 8th Avenue would be in order. I want to go through my father's things. There's something I want to get for Liam, just in case… Maureen might not agree to it, but I'll try anyway. I think Liam should at least have something from his namesake.
She texted me back, agreeing without protest.
I left the hospital and drove to the 8th Avenue apartment, eager to get home and relax after a long day in meetings. As often seemed to be the case, I was there before Kate so I changed out of my suit into jeans and a white linen shirt, ready to be comfortable. I put on a selection of old music that my father used to play when I was growing up and poured two shots of Anisovaya.
Kate arrived some time later, while I was in the kitchen.
"There you are," I said and met her at the door. I took her coat and hung it up in the closet. I hugged her once she had her boots off, and we swayed a bit in each other’s arms.
"This is an oldie," she said, tilting her head as she listened to my selection of music for the evening. "One of your dad's?"
I nodded and let her out of my arms to go search through the albums that were lined up in a shelf on the wall. I pulled out the original cover from my father’s vinyl collection. The Mammas and the Pappas, with the artists sitting together fully dressed in a bathtub.
"Appropriate, given we're in the middle of a storm in New York," I said as “California Dreaming” played over the sound system. "John Philips wrote the song in 1962 during a New York snow storm. I love New York, but wait until you see Kenya. It's so beautiful in places and the weather is always warm."
"You sure you still want to go in March?"
I shook my head, uncertain what would happen. "We'll stay here for a few weeks until I can see if the transplant takes. Maureen doesn't want me involved, so I'd have nothing to do but sit around moping, waiting for news. If we go to Kenya, I'll be busy teaching and doing surgery. There's nothing I can do here anyway and I could always fly back if anything happened with Liam."
I put the album down and went to the sideboard where I had a couple of shots of Anisovaya waiting.
"Here," I said, handing one to Kate. "I need this. I think I want to get drunk tonight. What do you say?"
She smiled. "Sounds perfect. We can be hung over tomorrow. I have nothing planned besides working on my canvas. I can do that hung over."
"Me neither. Za vas!" I held up my shot.
"Za vas," she replied.
Together, we shot back the vodka. Then I pulled her back into my arms and kissed her, wanting to catch the taste of the Anisovaya on her tongue. She responded, wrapping her arms around my neck and her legs around my waist as I lifted her up. We remained like that for a moment and then I let her slide down my body.
"First," I said, brushing hair off her cheek. "I thought we'd make a nice light dinner after that mountainous sandwich at lunch. Then, we can talk about our plans and get sloshed."
"Sloshed?"
I grinned. "My father's term for floor-licking pissed."
"I like it," she said and leaned against me. "I don't know if I intend to lick any floors though…"
I laughed at that and embraced her
more tightly, breathing in her perfumed hair.
"Sweet Ms. Bennet. What would I do without you?"
"I don't even want to think about us not being together," she said softly.
The song ended and one of my favorite Lennon and McCartney songs came on.
"What's this?" she asked, slipping out of my arms to check the playlist. The song was from Rubber Soul, which had been released in 1965.
"In My Life," I said, coming up behind her, slipping my arms around her waist. "Another appropriate song, because I do love you more," I said, kissing her neck. She put the cell phone down and held my arms.
"I love you, Kate," I said softly.
"I love you," she said, her voice nearly a whisper. We stood in an embrace for a while, enjoying each other. Then I let go of her and led her to the kitchen.
"Come to the kitchen," I said. "I've got some vegetables for a salad. I thought we'd have some chicken."
She followed and while Kate took responsibility for the salad, I grilled the chicken breasts, dredging them in flour and sautéing them in the pan. Kate sipped some wine I poured for her while I acted as chef. I even tied a white apron around my waist.
"It won't take long," I said and turned to her. "I have a nice baguette that we could have as the starch."
"When did you get so domestic?"
I laughed and reached into a bag on the counter, removing the long thin loaf.
"I lived by myself for five years after the divorce. It was either learn to cook decent food or live out of restaurants."
We sat at the table, set with some linens and cutlery I found in my father’s things. Before we ate, I took Kate’s hand.
"I'm not really religious," I said, squeezing her hand. "But I want to say how thankful I am about the tissue match."
She nodded, her eyes wide. "Me, too."
I smiled and let go of her hand. "I'm also thankful that I found you. Such a delicious morsel of prime womanhood."
"You're hungry," she said, grinning back. "You need to eat."