by Maggie Walsh
You had a wonderful year this past year and I am so happy for you, and also impressed. You graduated top of your class from school and will begin your beta training. That must be so exciting for you. I know you will do wonderfully, as you have done with everything else in your life.
Your father and brother have done a great job teaching you and getting you ready for your official training. Even now I can see how strong and fierce you are. You will be a wonderful asset to any pack. I can see that you will be a strong warrior, as well as smart and caring. I know how wonderful you are with all the other members of your pack, and your compassion and kindness have impressed me immensely. Your parents must be extremely proud of you, as they should be.
You are growing to be a good man, as well as a handsome man. I hope you have a wonderful birthday and that the next year to come will be full of happiness and growth for you. You deserve nothing but goodness, Caleb. Stay strong and continue to be a great student. Soak up all the knowledge presented to you and seek out more.
Until next year, know that I wish you well and you are not alone. I look forward to meeting you someday.
-R
Caleb was even more confused now than when he first entered his room, but surprisingly, he found himself feeling a weird sense of peace inside him as well as a new-found joy. When he read that the writer of these letters thought he was handsome, it had sent a thrill through him, and Caleb hoped that whoever R was, that it was a guy.
He had known since he was small that he liked boys more than girls, just like the majority of his pack. In his world a male-female relationship, like his parents had, was the rarity. In the old days, back in the time before his kind came to this part of the world, packs had been against same sex pairings just like the human world was, but his type of wolf and where they were located, had never had that hang up. Where they were situated there was a lot of them, hell, most of his kind preferred men, but compared to other wolf packs, their pack numbers were considered on the low side.
He was an Alaskan Tundra Wolf, just like the rest of his pack and other wolf packs nearby. They remained in the frozen tundra regions along the Arctic coast of northern Alaska, and where they were had some of the coldest temperatures on earth. It was a place where very few females liked to visit, forget live. Hundreds of years ago when his kind first settled in this area, the founding families were mostly made up of male wolves. One of the best ways to stay warm, even in a cave they had found as a den, was for everyone to cuddle together in a puppy pile.
Through those first few years when they didn’t have much, and that included females, the males gravitated to one another for more than warmth, they joined for comfort and love. So, from day one, their kind never had a problem with same sex relationships. It was the norm to them. When Caleb announced at age ten that he really liked one of the other boys and wanted to kiss him, no one even blinked an eye. Dell had just placed an arm over his shoulder and told him, “Welcome to the club.”
His pack consisted of four hundred males and twenty females, and out of those twenty, he knew of seven that were about to leave for warmer climates. Each of the other three packs that were within a few hundred miles, had about the same numbers. The largest pack that was their closest neighbor had only five females that he knew of and the other two packs of Tundra wolves didn’t have any. When packs of other breeds from far away asked how their packs even survived without women around to give them pups, they just laughed.
Some men, like his father, had found a female to not only mate with, but who was also willing to live in such a cold place, while others who wanted cubs, but were in a male/male relationships, just went to the city packs. There was a pack near Anchorage and another near Sitka, that contained Tundra wolves that didn’t want to live in such a cold climate. A few males, mainly alphas, betas, and deltas, controlled the packs, but they were where all the female Tundra wolves lived, and some of those females were willing to be surrogates.
So, when one of the male couples were ready to start a family, they contacted one of those packs, then went for a visit. It also worked the other way. If one of the females wanted a child they could contact his pack, or one of the others and see if any of the males were interested in being a sperm donor. It was no big deal with their kind, it was just how it was.
Now Caleb sat there looking at the last note in his hand and read the words again. As he got to the handsome part, a twinge of hope gripped his heart that whoever the author of the letters was, that it was a man who thought he was good looking.
Sure there were a few single males in the pack and in the neighboring packs, but Caleb never found one he was attracted to. Well, that wasn’t entirely true. Mr. Ford, his old History teacher was pretty damn good looking and Caleb had had many fantasies about the older wolf. However, Mr. Ford was too old for him and also mated, but that didn’t stop the many masturbation sessions he had over the years thinking about the sexy man.
Caleb lay back on his bed and spread out as he thought about who had been writing these letters to him and why. Was it a relative that he didn’t know about? But then, why didn’t they just say that? Was it a male who was interested in him? No, that couldn’t be it. The letters started on the day he was born, so there was no way of that being the case. So then, who was it and why?
Caleb fell asleep thinking of who the letter writer could be and thoughts of a hot guy filled his head as the writer’s words about him being handsome swam in his mind. Gods, what would it be like to finally have a boyfriend? To kiss someone, or touch them in an intimate way? What would it feel like to have someone touch him? Damn, he wanted a boyfriend. Maybe someday he would be lucky enough to have someone who wanted and loved him. Dreams of a tall, dark, and muscular man filled his head as Caleb slept.
CHAPTER 2
“Caleb! Let’s go!” Dell yelled out the door.
Caleb looked up from under the hood of his car and to the door leading into the house. “I’m not deaf, Dell. You don’t need to yell,” he replied with a chuckle, as he stepped away from the car and grabbed a rag to start wiping his greasy hands.
“You know how you get when you start working on your baby there. I wanted to make sure you heard me. So, how’s it going today?” Dell asked, as he leaned against the doorframe and motioned toward Caleb’s pride and joy.
For his twentieth birthday last year, his brother and parents had chipped in and found him an old, rundown black 1967 Chevy Impala, 327, 4-barrel, automatic V-8 engine with four doors and a hardtop, just like Dean Winchester drove. It was Caleb’s favorite show and Dean was his nightly fantasy, and the car was awesome. For years all Caleb had talked about was buying one just like it someday, even though it wasn’t practical in their world. Then for his birthday his family surprised him with one, and though it needed a lot of work, Caleb didn’t mind. He loved working on the classic and hunting down original parts for it. It was like a treasure hunt.
Today he had installed the original manifold that he was able to find a few months ago on the internet. The part had arrived a week ago and today, his twenty-first birthday, was the day for working on his baby.
“It’s fucking great, bro. The manifold makes the engine look hot. Look at all that shiny chrome,” Caleb replied with pride.
“Yeah, yeah. Cars are not really my thing. Now give me a canvas, a brush, and some paint and I’ll sit all day and be lost. But I must admit, that engine looks sweet. Now, get your ass in the shower before we’re late. The guys are meeting us there in an hour.”
“Just let me clean up and I’ll get a quick shower,” Caleb said.
“Don’t take too long. The late cock goes home alone and we don’t want our birthday boy to go home to his hand again tonight,” Dell said with a laugh.
Caleb chuckled and threw the rag at his brother. “Asshole. Who says I’m out looking for a ride tonight? Maybe I just want to go hang out with my big bro and my friends, and celebrate me finally being able to drink legally.”
“Yeah and I�
�m a virgin. We all know you can’t wait to pop that cherry of yours, and it’s about fucking time too. So, let’s go, cherry wine.” Dell turned and headed back into the house.
Caleb began cleaning up and putting his tools away as he thought about what Dell said. Shit, he didn’t want to go home alone again and he really did want to find someone to fuck him, but he wasn’t going to just jump in bed with the first guy that winked at him. Technically, he was still a virgin, but only because he had never had any type of penetrative sex, but he wasn’t totally inexperienced. He had given a few blowjobs over the past few years and had received even more. Handjobs could be a fun way to release the tension, and kissing was one of his favorite things to do, but nothing he did seemed to satisfy him, and it made him cautious of going further. He just felt that it was useless to go all the way with someone and have it leaving him still feeling empty. And it kind of felt wrong to him to take that last step with someone he wasn't in love with, so he had held off on taking the plunge, literally.
Most nights he sat around in his room watching porn while stroking himself off and dreaming of a lover doing all those things to him. What people knew as BDSM was just a natural thing to his kind. Tundra wolves were literally born to the lifestyle, although to them it wasn’t a life choice, it was who they were. It was part of their DNA.
Caleb had grown up his whole life seeing all the different types of relationships of the couples in his pack. Some were more dominant than others and some more submissive. His father, being an alpha, was a born dominant and his mother being a gamma was a born submissive. They were partners in their relationship, and his mom spoke her mind and stood by her alpha to help lead the pack, but she was submissive to him, and no one blinked an eye when they saw them together. Even his brother Dell being an alpha made him a natural born dominant and Caleb had witnessed him with a few lovers, saw the dynamic of their relationships, so it was no big deal.
Him being a beta meant that he would most likely never date or mate an alpha, because a beta was one step below an alpha and had those dominant tendencies, although a beta would submit to an alpha. It wasn’t unheard of for the two to mate, but it was rare. Caleb did dream of a dominant alpha as a mate sometimes, which only confused him more. Then there were the videos he loved to watch. The more he watched BDSM porn, the more he fantasized about having an alpha mate.
He loved logging onto the sites and watching, but he found himself connecting more to the subs than the Doms. A thrill always went through him when he watched the sub submitting to his lover and giving him his full control. He didn’t think he could ever be a total submissive, like twenty-four hours a day all the time, because he loved being a beta and it just wasn’t part of his DNA, but most of what he watched on those videos really turned him on. Which was why he was becoming confused.
As a beta he shouldn’t want to submit to someone as much as he found himself craving to do it. He loved watching the subs getting spanked, and dreamed of having it done to him, and he really wanted to be tied down and fucked. He wanted a lover to push him down and force his dominance on him, then take whatever they wanted from him, using his body for their pleasure.
One of the most shocking realizations for him was the pull he felt deep in his gut and his groin to be gagged. All the different types of gags he saw the Doms use on their subs made his cock harder than anything. Shit, there was one with a red ball gag where the guy couldn’t talk, and Caleb couldn't help but stare at the guy’s face. There was this look of bliss in the guy’s eyes.
Then, the one that really made him blow in his jeans, was a video where the guy was on his knees, hands tied behind his back, with a ring gag in his mouth, which allowed the Dom to use that mouth any way he wanted. The Dom grabbed the guy’s head and started to fuck his mouth and Caleb came instantly. He had many fantasies of himself in that guy’s place and wanted it more than anything.
A favorite video of his, that he watched over and over again, longing to experience for himself, was one where the Dom had attached a large dildo to the wall, then impaled his sub on the long, thick shaft. He tied the sub’s wrists together and attached them to a pulley system and raised the sub’s arms high, then placed a ring gag in his mouth, tying it around the sub’s head. The Dom then attached a spreader bar to the sub’s ankles, keeping him open. A cock ring and nipple clamps were then attached to the sub, and the Dom walked away leaving his sub completely vulnerable.
Caleb watched in amazement and yearning as the sub writhed on the dildo, whimpering and moaning as tears of need fell from his eyes. The Dom returned a few minutes later and took his sub’s throat, fucking his face, and Caleb cried. Gods what would that feel like? But then, after each time he watched it, Caleb always felt like there was something wrong with him. He was a beta, damn it, and even though he would submit to a point with an alpha lover, he shouldn’t want to submit so fully. It wasn’t who he was supposed to be. Gods, he was so screwed up.
Shit, maybe he was submissive? No, he couldn’t be. He was a beta who was training to be a warrior and second to his brother. He was a warrior and couldn’t let anyone control him like that. In his life he loved being who he was. People listened to him and showed him respect for who he was. He liked his place in the pack and loved working on cars and all their vehicles. If he was a submissive his mate would be in charge of everything he did. Caleb just couldn’t see himself living that kind of life. He wanted to be an equal with his mate.
But then again, maybe in the bedroom they could explore things? No, he was not a submissive. His place was as a beta in the pack and even though some alphas liked mating betas, he would most likely be paired with another beta, delta or gamma. Equals. That’s how it should be. Well, almost equals. Him being a beta meant he would be the more dominant one over a delta or gamma. Yes, that’s what his life would be. So then, why did that thought make him feel sad and fill him with emptiness?
“Ugh! Stop! Just get going, the guys are waiting,” Caleb reprimanded himself, and quickly finished cleaning up.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
The music coming from the jukebox wasn’t too loud and was playing a rock song Caleb liked. The bar wasn’t packed, but had a nice crowd. Some people were dancing, others played pool, while some shot darts. He and Dell spotted their friends in the far corner in a booth and made their way over to join them at the table.
“So, little man, we can’t really call you little man anymore, huh? You’re all grown up now and ready to take on the world,” Jude, Dell’s best friend teased as he grabbed Caleb in a headlock and gave the top of his head a noogie.
Caleb laughed as he pulled away and shoved at Jude’s hands, then punched him in the arm. “Shut up, asshat.”
“Oh, the puppy does have some claws now. So, what are you going to do with those claws, dude? Hopefully snag yourself some ass,” his best friend Bo said.
“Well, we all know you would know all about ass, you manwhore. How many guys have you already fucked today?” Caleb asked, as he looked around the bar for the waitress.
“It’s been a slow day. I’ve only gotten laid twice,” Bo said in defeat, as he sighed, making everyone laugh and start teasing him.
“Only two? Shit, you are in a slump,” Dell teased, as he threw a balled up napkin at Bo.
“I don’t think the waitress is coming, Caleb. Mickey said another one up and quit. You know these females can’t handle the weather up here,” Marlo, another of his friends said.
“I’ll head to the bar, who wants?” Caleb asked, as he stood.
“Get me a Fosters,” Dell replied.
“Anyone else?” Caleb asked.
“Nope, we’re good for now,” Bo replied, motioning to all their drinks on the table.
Caleb headed to the bar and ordered two Fosters. As he waited, he noticed a guy slip onto the stool beside him. The guy’s cologne was so rich and manly, but not too overwhelming, and Caleb found himself drawing in a deep breath through his nose, enjoying the scent.
“
I don’t remember seeing you here before, handsome. Can I buy you a drink?” The deep, sexy voice from beside him asked. The sound of that voice went right to Caleb’s cock and the damn thing started to thicken.
He smiled and turned his head to look at the man, then almost swallowed his tongue. The guy had to be around six feet six inches, and two hundred and sixty pounds of rock solid muscle. Even though the guy was sitting, Caleb could still tell how big he was. The silky-smooth, slightly wavy, shoulder-length jet black hair that framed a rugged, gorgeous face, looked so soft, Caleb itched to reach out and touch it. Then, those mesmerizing deep green eyes with long, thick, black lashes called out to him and began to build a fire in his gut. He wanted to look at those eyes for hours. The man didn’t have a full beard like a lot of the guys around here, but he did have that short, scruffy look like he hadn’t shaved today. The look only added to this guy’s sexiness.
Caleb cleared his throat as he realized he was staring and the guy had asked him a question. “Um... no, thanks. I just ordered.”
“Too bad. Maybe I could get the next one?” That deep, sultry voice offered.
“That’s really nice of you, but I’m here with friends and need to get back to them. Maybe another time,” Caleb responded, as he pointed over his shoulder to the table in the corner. Just then the bartender placed his beers on the counter and Caleb handed him a twenty. “Keep the change,” he told the bartender, then grabbed both bottles, gave Adonis a smile and turned, walking back to his table.
As he sat and placed the beers on the table, Bo gave him a look of horror.
“What?”
“What the hell are you doing back here? That guy was fucking hot as hell and you just blew him off,” Bo said harshly.
“He wishes he blew him off, but with the cold shoulder he gave the guy I don’t think he’ll get a second chance,” Jude said, then took a drink from his beer.