Buttons and Pain

by Penelope Sky

  “Just because he’s my brother doesn’t mean you have to be involved.”

  “Crow, I already told you I like him. I’ve never had a family of my own and it’s nice to have someone that’s a brother. Lars kinda reminds me of an uncle, and you’re a husband that’s overbearing just like a father. It’s nice.”

  His features softened at that comment and he dropped the argument.

  “Can we talk a walk?” After days on unnecessary bed rest I was eager to move on my feet and stretch my legs.

  “Isn’t the view good enough?”

  “Crow, I can manage.” Instead of waiting for permission I rose to my feet and walked inside to put on my sneakers.

  Crow sighed audibly, wanting me to understand just how annoyed he was.

  But I didn’t care.

  ***

  We walked through the vineyards and listened to the crickets in the fields. Away from the house, there was a stronger breeze that moved through the aisles. It caressed my hair like loving fingers, and it touched the back of my neck just the way Crow did.

  His hand closed around mine and he kept sending worried glances my way even though I was perfectly fine. “Are you doing alright?”

  “If I need help, I’ll tell you.”

  “No, you won’t,” he snapped.

  The corner of my lip rose in a smile. “You’re right. I probably won’t.”

  Against his will, the amusement entered his eyes.

  I stared at the hillsides up ahead and wondered what was on the other side. Perhaps it was just more acres of land until the next house came into view. “Who’s your closest neighbor?”

  “A friend of mine lives right on the other side of this hill. It’s a vacation home when he comes to visit.”

  “Where does he live normally?”

  “America.”

  “So…there was someone who could help me right next door?” In the early days of my imprisonment he told me there was nowhere for me to go. The nearest town was thirty miles away. Stupidly, I believed that story.

  He smiled. “Yeah. But he’s not around often.”

  “But there’s probably a phone inside his house.”

  He shrugged. “I suppose. But I hope you’re happy with the way things turned out.” His thumb brushed across my knuckles. “Because if I had to lock you up all over again, I would.”

  “I guess I would too.”

  He snuck a glare at me.

  I loved teasing him because it was so easy to get under his skin. “You know I’m kidding. Speaking of being locked up, are you ever going to remove this tracker from my ankle?”

  “I’d rather not.”

  “You don’t think it’s weird?”

  “No.” He didn’t change his pace as he walked beside me, and the overprotective maniac was still deep inside him.

  “Since there’s no danger around me I don’t think it’s necessary.”

  “There’s always danger, Pearl. The wealthy and powerful always have to look over their shoulders.”

  “Well, I don’t want some electronic under my skin. It’s not I go off on my own anyway.”

  He wasn’t going to budge. It was obvious in the way he carried himself. “It’s not going anywhere until it needs to be replaced.”

  Hell no. “Then I want you wear a tracker at all times.” He wouldn’t like that one bit. Crow was a man who operated in the shadows. He didn’t want to be traced so easily.

  “Okay.”

  I did a double take when I heard what he said. “What?”

  “I said okay.”

  “No…I was just trying to prove a point.”

  “Well, you did. If you have to wear one, I’ll wear one too. That way you can always see where I am if you’re ever worried about me. That’s a fair compromise.”

  “But you’re missing the main point. I don’t want to wear anything.”

  “That’s too bad.” He looked at me with a dictator gaze, daring me to defy him. “You don’t even notice it’s there, and thanks to that little tracker I was able to save you not once, but twice. I’m sorry it’s an inconvenience to you but it’s a life saver for me. I suggest you get used to it.”

  I knew I lost the battle, and more importantly, I knew this was how the rest of our lives would be. Crow Barsetti was a man who couldn’t be refused, and when it came to his family he was ruthless and borderline insane.

  He was right—I should get used to it.

  “Now what?” I asked.

  “What do you mean?”

  “What do we do now? Bones is gone and the world seems like a much simpler place.”

  “Well, that’s entirely up to you. I was thinking we could live the rest of our lives quietly here at the estate. We’ll drink wine, make love, and grow old together. What do you say?”

  I stared at him and felt my smile widen. “Sounds pretty boring.”

  He raised an eyebrow.

  “And that’s exactly what I want. A long, boring life with you.”

  Epilogue

  Pearl

  I set the bowls of mac and cheese at the table. Vanessa was five years old with dark black hair like her father and green eyes like mine. She had a rumbustious spirit, telling me she would be a handful when she got older—like yours truly. “Hungry, sweetheart?”

  “Yum.” She grabbed her fork and dug in.

  I placed the bowl in front of Constantine. “Here you are, champ.”

  Constantine was three years old and still in a high chair. The table was permanently stained with all the food he threw around as he got older. Instead of pushing away his food when he didn’t like it, he chose to throw it everywhere. Sometimes he was a pain in the ass—like his father. He picked up the spoon and slowly fed himself, still learning the process.

  Julia looked into her bowl and raised an eyebrow. With a distinct Russian accent she said. “What is this?”

  “It’s mac and cheese. It’s basically pasta with cheese sauce.”

  She continued to eye it with dread, like it was the worst possible thing I could serve.

  Why did everyone hate America food so much? “It’s really not bad. But if you don’t want to eat it I’ll make you something else.”

  Julie picked up the fork and took a bite. “It’s actually pretty good.” Julia had a hard time acclimating to freedom at the Barsetti estate. After being sold into human trafficking, Crow and I were able to free her and a handful of women. Most of them had families to go home to, but Julia was an orphan without a penny to her name. She was staying with us until she was ready to get back on her feet.

  “I’m glad you like it. Crow hates it, but he’s the most stubborn man I know.”

  She continued to eat slowly, taking her time spooning herself. She was unnaturally thin and I had to fatten her up as much as possible. I purposely had her spend time with the kids because their happiness was infectious. They could brighten anyone’s mood.

  Crow walked into the dining room, wearing a dark navy suit with a purple tie. Like a king, he owned the room the second he walked into it. Casting a distinctive shadow on the wall, his power was unmistakable. “Cane, I said no.”

  Cane followed behind him, talking his ear off. “Look, it’s just one gig. I won’t ask for your help again, I swear.”

  “I’m not in the business anywhere,” Crow answered. “I told you that.” He walked right up to me with an irritated look that wasn’t meant for me. “Hey, Button.” His arm hooked around my waist and he gave me a kiss.

  “Hey, Husband.”

  No matter how many times I called him that, the corner of his mouth rose in a smile.

  Cane continued to ramble on. “We just get in and get out. No big deal. That’s it.”

  Crow ignored him and greeted the kids. First, he greeted Vanessa with a kiss on the forehead then kneeled so he could watch Constantine for a moment. “How’s my little boy?”

  “It’s a plane!” Constantine scooped up the mac and cheese on the edge of the spoon then flew it into Crow�
�s mouth.

  Crow took it then swallowed. “Yum.”

  I smiled in triumph. “Everyone here seems to love it.”

  Crow masked his dislike of the food then greeted Julia. “Hello, Julia.” He always stayed as far away from her as possible, not because he disliked her, but because he understood how terrified she must feel when she was close to any man.

  Cane continued. “Hey, asshole. I’m talking to you.”

  Crow turned on him quicker than a snake. “Don’t cuss in front of my family. How many times have I told you that?”

  Cane rolled his eyes. “Whatever. Are you gonna help me or not?”

  “No.” Crow didn’t show an ounce of sympathy. “I told you, I have a family now. I’m not involved with that lifestyle anymore. You can find someone else.”

  “But no one has your skills,” Cane argued. “I don’t trust anyone.”

  “Too bad,” Crow snapped. “Not drop it.”

  Cane rolled his eyes again until they landed on Julia. When he noticed her in the room, his interest piqued. “Hey—”

  “Get the fuck away from her.” Crow immediately turned into a pit bull, guarding our guest with teeth barred and his claws extended.

  “What happened to now cussing?” Cane argued.

  Cane took him by the arm and pulled him from the room. “Knock that shit off.” His voice could still be heard from outside the dining hall. “We rescued Julia from that operation in Russia. Don’t even look at her wrong or I swear I’ll kill you.”

  “Geez, give me some credit. You think I’m gonna just whip it out and hold her down then and there?”

  Julie purposely looked down at her bowl.

  “Don’t make her uncomfortable,” Crow ordered. “She’s under my roof so she’s my guest. I don’t want you to even look at her.”

  “What?” Cane asked. “I thought she was pretty. Burn me at the stake.”

  “I might,” Crow threatened. “Now leave.”

  “Wait, I was serious about the operation. I need your help.”

  “Cane, how many times do I have to say this? I’m not in that line of work anymore. I have two kids and another one on the way. I’m not getting involved with that lifestyle ever again.”

  “Geez, you’re boring.”

  “One day your life will be boring too. And you’ll love it.” Crow walked back into the dining room and dismissed his brother. “Sorry about that, Julia.”

  “It’s okay,” she whispered.

  “You don’t need to worry about him,” Crow assured her. “He won’t bother you again.”

  She kept eating. “I know.”

  Crow returned to my side and placed his hand on my small stomach. I wasn’t even showing yet but he was excited that very shortly I would have a baby bump. Nothing turned him on more than when I was pregnant. That was probably why I accidentally got knocked up again. “How’s my little Barsetti?”

  “Pretty boring.” I rested my hand on top of his. “No kicking yet. I can barely tell they’re in there.”

  “Give it time. Maybe they’ll be a kicker like Vanessa was.”

  “God, I hope not. I didn’t get any sleep when I was pregnant with her.”

  “Yeah, I remember,” he said. “But it was exciting to feel her move.” His fingers expanded across my entire stomach before he slid it around my waist again. “How about we have Lars watch them for the night so we can go out to dinner? Maybe stop by the house on the coast?”

  Having two kids made it difficult to have alone time but Crow and I made it work whenever we could. We loved spending time with our kids but we loved the times when it was just the two of us. Two hours a day seemed to be enough to keep us happy. “That sounds perfect.”

  ***

  Crow pressed his ear to my naked stomach and listened.

  “I’m telling you, there’s nothing going on down there. She’s sleepy.”

  “She?” He sat up and looked at me.

  “Yeah, it’s a girl.” There wasn’t a doubt in my mind.

  “How do you know that?”

  “I don’t know…I just do.”

  “But this pregnancy is nothing like the one you had with Vanessa.”

  “Yeah.” She was by far the most difficult pregnancy. “But I just know. Trust me, it’s a mother thing.”

  He kissed my stomach before he moved further up the bed. His thighs separated mine and the dark look in his eyes told me what he wanted to do next. He seemed to be proud of his handiwork knocking me up, and that stroked his ego and made him want to make love even more. “I want to keep getting you pregnant for as long as I can.”

  “Uh, no thanks.” Three kids were enough. Even with the help of the staff, I couldn’t handle a fourth.

  “Come on, it’s sexy.” He pressed the tip of his cock against my entrance but didn’t enter me.

  “Yeah, for a while. But you don’t have to waddle around the house like a cow.”

  “You don’t look like a cow.” He rubbed his nose against mine. “When you waddle it gets me so hard. Seeing you pregnant with my kid…nothing is a bigger a turn on.”

  “Even so, this is the last one. But we can pretend we’re trying to get pregnant.”

  “Not the same.” Crow went from being hesitant to having kids to needing as many as possible. He gave up his former job in a heartbeat when I was pregnant with Vanessa, and there was nowhere else he’d rather be than at home with me and the kids.

  I chuckled when I realized just how different he was. His innate darkness had faded, and the light that shined in his eyes whenever he looked at his kids.

  Crow caught the reaction. “What?”

  “Nothing.”

  He didn’t shove himself inside me even though he was desperate to. “What?” He gripped both of my wrists and pinned them over my head, dominating me the second he didn’t get his way.

  “I just think it’s amusing how different you are. You’re nothing like the man I met all those years ago.”

  Slowly, the hardness of his eyes and jaw faded.

  “It’s like you’re a different person.”

  He relaxed his hold on my wrists and continued to stare at me. “I am a different man.”

  “In a very good away.” I ran my hands up my chest before I pulled his hips into me, wanting him deep inside me.

  He kept his hips straight and didn’t move. “When you came to my home you said I saved you. I saved you from that ruthless man who’s name I’ll never say again. You claim I put you back together and fixed you.”

  My eyes never left his.

  “But you saved me, Button. I wouldn’t have everything I didn’t know I wanted without you.” His hand cupped my cheek and he rubbed his nose against mine, giving me delicate touches I’d come to expect every morning and every night.

  “We saved each other.”