by Lauren Wood
When the elevator came back to the floor and it was empty, I didn't know what to think. If I was honest with myself, I didn't really think all that much at all. All I knew for certain was that I had to get out of here, before they came back and noticed that I was gone.
Red was going to know that I had went into the elevator and that I had seen the large showcase of weapons that he had upstairs. There was no reason for him to have them except that he was going to use them. For a man that I cared deeply for, I knew that I was going to have to figure it out.
I got back on the elevator and went down. I knew that not only was I going to have to get away, but I was also going to have to find a way back home. It was going to be a little hard because I didn't have a passport, never had. I never planned to leave the country so how was I going to get back?
The worst part was trying to get out of the building, especially knowing that there was a doorman. I was sure that the man Red called Tony would stop me. When I’d first came here, I felt like everyone knew who Red was. I was really hoping that it wasn't the case.
The only thing that I could do for certain was to grab some money off of his desk that I had seen there, and to make my way outside. I was worried that something was going to go wrong, but at the same time I knew I had to get out of here. After what I had seen, what I had done, the only way that I was going to be safe and secure, was to be as far away from Red as possible. That was a hard thing to say, considering how much I was attracted to him. I really had fallen for him and now I was supposed to feel nothing.
I grab the few hundred dollars that was on his desk and I made my way to the elevator that led to the streets of New York. I didn't know what time Red was going to be back, but I do know that I had to be gone before he got there. I didn't know what I was going to say or what I was going to do, but I knew that I had to get away.
Tony asked me where I was going when I got to the door. I was afraid that he was going to tell Red I was going, so I told him that I wasn't sure.
“I think I'm just going to go see the sites.”
“I was just under the impression, that Red said you were going to stay inside. I wasn't aware that you were going to go away by yourself.”
“Is that a problem?”
I knew that it was, but at the same time I wanted to leave. I didn't want him to stop, so instead of listening to his answer, I could hear him hollering at me as I went down the boardwalk, but quite quickly I was surrounded by people and I felt a little safer. It didn’t matter how many people Red had working for him, there was no way that he had control over all these people. I was finally safe, for the first time since I’d gotten to American.
The city was far bigger than I ever thought it would be. I knew rather quickly that I wasn't going to be able to leave the way I wanted to. The place was huge and with all the people running back and forth, it was very easy to be lost. All I had to do was find a place to sleep for the night, and then I would be able to think straight. I hadn't got much sleep since meeting Red, for one reason or another and I just needed some shut-eye so that I could think clearly.
I found a hotel that wasn't too far from Red’s place. I was getting tired and I needed the bed. It wasn’t too long before I was out for the night. I don't know why it felt like I had betrayed him in some way. I knew that it wasn't true, that I had done nothing wrong, but leaving him like I had, made me feel something else. I don't know what the hell I was thinking, but I didn’t want to get Red in trouble. I just wanted to get out of there.
I didn't know what tomorrow was going to bring, but I knew that I was going to have to figure some things out and get out of America. I just wanted to go home and get back to my old life, that didn't include Red. He was easy to fall for, but even harder than ever to understand. I think I could drive myself crazy trying to understand him and I finally shut my mind off enough to sleep.
Red
When I got back home, it was late. All I could think about was getting back to Kristin. I had made a promise to her, and I meant to keep it. She didn't understand how much I needed her, and how much I wanted her, but she was going to find out soon enough.
“Red, we need to talk.”
“About what?”
“About the girl.”
“What about her?”
I didn't have to hear what had happened with Kristin, because I already had an idea. I didn't feel her presence anymore and that meant that she was gone. I don't know why I thought that she would stay, that she cared about me like I did her, but I should have known better. Of course, the one woman that I wanted to stay in my life, would run away as fast as she could.
To pair that with the fact that I wasn't able to get Golf, was just another thorn in my side for the day. Golf had been tipped off that I was coming and he had taken off again, with my money. I wasn't too happy about that, especially knowing that I was going to have to keep chasing him. I was that done with people like Golf. I was done dealing with people that lived in the dark murky world that I was trying to get out of.
“She took off Sir.”
“Did she now? Do we know where she went?”
“No, Tony said she just walked out the front a little while ago and I put a couple people on it, trying to get ahold of her when she starts looking into hotels in the area. She could not go that far.”
I didn't agree with that assessment. Kristin may be innocent, and she may be a little naive, but there was other parts of her that were not. If she wanted to get away from me, I knew that she would find the way. It looked like she had.
“What is it that you're not telling me?”
“Why do you say that?”
“Because I know you. What is it?”
“She went into the inner elevator and went up.”
That was the last thing that I wanted to hear. If Kristin got into the room, then she knew everything. Well, she didn't know everything but I guaranteed that she thought she did. She now thought that I was a monster and for some reason, that bothered me more than missing Golf, missing my money, and everything else that went wrong today. I don't know why, but I was more worried about the fact that Kristin had found out.
“How long was she there?”
“Long enough.”
I blew out a long breath and I wasn't sure what to do next. I had went to Golf, to straighten things out with him, get my revenge and to give her the opportunity to go home. Once Golf was out of the picture, she would be able to go home. Now Golf was in the wind, and so was Kristin. I was doing a very bad job of keeping her safe, especially with the fact that now she wouldn't even trust me.
I sat down on the edge of the bed and tried to make sense of the information that I was just given. I don't know why she went up there, but I knew that there was going to be nothing that I can do about it. I mean sure, I will look for her. And I would have her found. But at the end of the day, what now what? What was I supposed to do with her now?
“What do you want me to do, boss.”
I looked up at my employee and I didn't have an answer. I was always the man with the answer, but this time not so much. This time I had no idea what I was supposed to do.
“The only thing we can do is go find the girl. Bring her back. We need to get to her before she tells everyone what she saw here. She will never understand my reasoning.”
I didn't have to tell him twice, and I didn't have to make an excuse for why I needed it done. Dennis didn’t care. The only thing that matter to him was that he got a check every month, which he did. He was one of my more faithful employees and I knew that he would find her for me.
“What do you want me to do with her when I find her?”
That was a question that I didn't have an answer for because I really wasn't sure. I wanted to tell him that I just wanted her back safely, but that wasn't the truth. She knew too much and I couldn’t let her go.
“Bring her back to me Dennis. Then we will see what we have to do.”
Dennis nodded his head in agreement.
I did not have to say anything else to him, because he knew what I wanted. He knew what she knew, and we both knew that she had to go away. It wasn't something that I wanted to do, but at the moment I didn't have a choice. Kristin had walked into something that she didn't know anything about, and I can already imagine what she thought of me.
I watched my second in command leave and I wasn't sure what to say anymore. If someone would have told me a week ago that I would fall in love with some random ass woman, I wouldn't have believed it. But here I was, falling so damn far that I didn't even know what I was doing anymore.
As soon as the dark skinned man left, I knew that things were never going to be the same. My mind had went to so many scenarios with me and Kristin, getting together and what was going to happen next, but now everything's changed. I knew now that I was wrong to ever think that I could just go through life this way, and no one would ever know. Kristin didn't realize why I had those weapons, and she never would know. She was always going to think of me as some kind of monster. I don't know why but I really hated the idea of that so much.
I made a couple of calls and tried to figure out what should happen next. There was a side of me that wanted to move everything, before it became too much, but I knew better. I knew that there was no way that I was going to get all the weapons moved out of here in time. If she had went to the police, they would be here any minute and I would have to explain myself. I know that my reasoning was sound, but for somebody else looking in, especially law enforcement, they were not going to understand it at all. I would be seen as a bad guy, even though that was the furthest thing from the truth.
The sad thing was that I wasn't even worried about that. I was actually worried about the fact that Kristin was going to think so badly of me. She was going to think that I was out to hurt people, and it really couldn't be further from the truth.
The bed reminded me of her and I had to get off of it. The whole way coming back home, all I could think about was getting Kristin in my arms again. It was literally all I could think of and now it was never going to happen. Now I was going to be forced to deal with it all myself.
It wasn't something that I was completely immune to, even though I had always been alone. Sure, I had a girl with me at night, but she was always gone by morning. I can't say how good it had felt to wake up next to Kristin, even if we didn't get that much sleep. She didn’t look at me the same way as everyone else did, but now she was never going to look at me the same again. That was the worst part of it for me.
I wanted her back, but I didn't know how to do it. I liked to think that she wanted me as much as I wanted her, but now I knew that it wasn't true. As much as I hated to believe it, Kristin was no longer someone that I was taking care of. She was no longer the woman that I was keeping safe. She was now the woman that could ruin all of my plans and I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do with that.
Kristin
The city was far more than I thought it would ever be. It was huge, and even coming from London, it felt so different to me. All of the buildings looked the same, and all of the streets were just never ending rows. I was afraid that I was never going to find my way around, or find my way to get out of here.
I got a little hotel room, and I hated to say it, maybe I was now spoiled but it was not at all what I expected. I had expected a place like the one I had been staying in. But I should have known better. Red was far more well off than I realized. It was clear by the place I was in now, even though it cost me over one hundred dollars for the night. It seemed like everything in New York was expensive, which is hard to imagine coming from London.
All I could think about was getting something to eat. I had been running all day and after the last night that I had with Red, I hadn't even thought about getting anything to eat. It had been so long that my stomach was growling and that is what finally reminded me that I had to eat something.
Leaving the hotel room was one of the scariest things that I've done in a long time. I felt like there was somebody watching me, constantly looking over my shoulder, but it wasn't going to do me any good. I had a feeling that if Red was back, and he was looking for me, it wasn't going to take much for him to find me. The more I worried about it, the more afraid I was to leave. I was just waiting for his men to find me and drag me back to his apartment. There, I knew I was sure I was going to be silence.
Maybe I had watched too many movies and I was just thinking out of my ass. I would have never thought that Red was that way. If I would never seen what he had in the upper floors of his apartment, I'd never would have believe that to be true. But the fact of the matter was that I really didn't know him. I liked to think that I did, because we had gotten intimate together, and he had made me feel things I've never felt before, but it wasn't true. The man that I knew, was most likely a front. I don't think I ever met the real Red. If I had, I would have never fallen for him.
The restaurant that I went to wasn't far from the hotel. It felt safer to stay close, even though it didn't really matter where I went. If one of his guys found me, I knew that I was going to be dragged back to Red. I had no false assumptions that he was out looking for me himself, most likely he had a whole team of people that I wouldn't even know about. I could pass them on the street corner and I wouldn't even recognize that. That was why I stayed close to the hotel, hoping that I could just blend in with everybody else.
I was tempted to get something to eat there but instead I ordered it to-go so I could take it back to the hotel room. I was already halfway through all the money I had to my name, and I was still no closer to figuring out how I was going to get home. The first thing that I wanted to do was to call my boyfriend. He would never talk to me if he found out what I had done here, but I was hoping that he would never find out.
What he had to understand was that it had been a situation that I couldn't help. As far as I was concerned, my boyfriend never had to know about Red. Even if what I thought had happened between me and Red was true, and real, the fact was that it wasn't. I didn't know the man that I had slept with the day before.
When I got back to the hotel room, I was finally able to breathe. I was so worried about somebody chasing me that I had been looking over my shoulder the whole time. If nothing else, I would be happy when I wouldn’t have to do that anymore. A part of me just wanted to go to Red and tell him what I saw, tell him that I didn't care what he had up there, or what he was going to do with it, as long as he let me go home. If I thought that it would have actually happened, I would have went right back to the apartment and told him all about it. I knew that he had found out that I've been up there.
But I didn’t trust Red, not after what I found out about him and not after what I had learned about his stash. I knew that there was nothing that was going to stand in his way. He was going to find me and I wasn't sure what was going to happen next, but I had a pretty good idea of it.
All I knew for certain was that I wanted to go home, no matter how impossible it seemed at the moment.
I made a call to my boyfriend and it seemed like forever until he answered. There was a moment that I was afraid that Red had gotten to him. I felt like Red could get to anybody if he wanted to and I just hoped that he wasn't going to spend that much time on me. While it was true that I had seen more than I probably should have, at the same time it was also true that I wasn't going to say anything. I don't know if it was some sort of loyalty that I felt towards Red, or not, but I wasn't going to tell anyone what I had found. I wish that he knew that, and that he would just let me go home. That is what I've been trying to do this whole time, but Red just kept wanting to keep me around.
It wasn't long before I was ready for bed, and sadly it was Red that I thought about. I missed his body next to mine, even though I knew that watching him, and being around him again was probably never going to happen. He probably didn't want to have anything to do with me now, now that I knew what he really was. But even after seeing it with my own eyes, I knew that there had t
o be another reason. He just didn't seem to be that type of man and I didn’t believe that I was that wrong about him. I wanted to think that I knew him better than that.
I couldn't believe how wrong I was about how I had justified everything in my head. I had thought of Red in a romantic sense, as the good guy that had saved me, but at the end of the day he wasn't a good guy at all. I don't know why he had saved me, put up the money to give to Golf, knowing that I wasn't his sister. I don't know why he did it, but I knew that his niceness wasn’t going to last very long. Now that he knew that I was on to him, he was no longer my savior. Now he was something else altogether.
I wanted to believe that everything was going to be okay, but I knew that it wasn’t going to be. I was going to be found out, and then I don't know what was going to happen to me. What I did know for sure was that Red was not going to forgive me. He had been very clear that he didn't want me going on the elevator, and I did so anyways. I sort of wished now that I hadn't. I would be in his arms, in his bed lying next to him and everything would be fine. Now everything was a mess and there was nothing I could do about it.
I went to bed that night wishing that I was in Red’s arms. I know that it was wrong of me to think this way, especially knowing what he was and who he was, but I couldn't help it. Red had made me feel things I've never felt before and even though I knew I couldn't go back, it didn't mean that I didn't want to. A huge part of me wanted to know what would have happened if I wouldn't have looked. I liked to think that we would still be together, even though I was pretty sure that it wouldn't have lasted very long. I was sadder for the loss of opportunity, more than anything else.
Red
“So give me some good news.”
“I think we know where she is, but I wanted to talk to you first before we did anything. I know this girl means something to you, even if I don't understand what it is.”