by Lauren Wood
Dennis was a lot like me. He didn't trust females, and I never had either. I don't know why I trusted her, but I knew that I wanted to. It didn't make sense of course, everything that I felt about Kristin, especially since I didn't know her very well. But at the end of the day I couldn't stop it. She had done something to me, or she had been something to me that I wasn't able to control.
I don't know what it is either but I know that I didn't want anything to happen to her.
“Is there a way to get her out of there and back here without somebody finding out?”
“I don't know Sir. She is on the third floor and I will have to pass a lot of rooms and a lot of people to get there. If she is not going to come quietly, there may be a problem with that. I am not saying that I won't drag her out of the hotel and the ten blocks back to the apartment, but to say that nobody's going to see me is not possible.”
“I don't think I've ever had you tell me that something wasn't possible. Are you trying to tell me that you cannot get this girl back?”
At the same time I was calling her girl, I was remembering what Kristin had said about girls in my life. Kristin wasn't a girl problem, she was a woman and I had to remember that. She wasn't just a blond that was easy to play. She was smart and a part of me knew that there was much more to it than that. Kristin was a real woman and for a moment I had started to let my mind wander. It had wandered into a world where me and her could be together, and a woman like her would be by my side. All of this money, fame, everything else I came with it, meant nothing if I had to spend it all alone. I wanted to think that I knew Kristin, but the truth was that I didn't.
“I never said that I couldn't get the girl back, but I don't know how I'm going to have to do it. And she fights me too much I will have to put her in a suitcase or something.”
I didn't like the idea of that at all and I told him that I wanted him to try to find another way.
“You are the best of the best Dennis, so I like to think that you'll be able to figure this out. Bring me Kristin, and do so without hurting her. Are we clear?”
Dennis said that we were, but I could hear his voice that he didn't understand why I was acting this way. I didn't even know the answer to that if I was honest. I had never met a woman like Kristin and even though she had done exactly what I told her not to do, there was a huge part of me that wanted to make sure that she was safe. Even though she had betrayed me in a way, there was nothing that I could do about it. The truth wasn't that I didn't want to do anything about it. I just wanted to make sure that my secret was safe, and after that I didn't care. I wanted her to stay with me, but at the same time maybe it was better if I let her go. I didn’t like the idea of it, but I liked the idea of hurting her even less.
“Of course boss, but I don't see why you want to keep her safe. She knows about the vault and she could expose us.”
“You know that I never liked the name of that. It makes it sound like there's money inside.
“There is, in a way.”
“I just don't want you to hurt her. I don't care what she's saying, she isn't going to say anything.”
“How could you know that after only knowing her a couple of days?”
It was a good question and if Dennis wasn't such a good soldier, I might have taken offense to it. It wasn't his job to question me, but at the same time, I trusted his judgement. I knew that my decision wasn’t the best one, but it was the only one that I could make. I couldn't imagine something happening to her, even though letting her go free could be the worst mistake that I ever made.
The worst part of all of it was the waiting. I had to wait around and wonder what was going to happen next. That was the worst part of all and it wasn't easy. I was waiting for a phone call to tell me what had happened and the longer I had to wait, the worse the anticipation became.
Finally I heard the phone ring and I knew that it was Dennis. I was hoping of course that he would just bring her back, but the phone call meant that something that happened. Now I was one that was worried and I just wanted this all to work out.
“What do you got for me?”
“She is in the room and she hasn't left in hours. I don't know if she is in there. Do you want me to go in?”
“I thought that was clear Dennis. I want you to bring her to me.”
“I will bring her to you boss. We will be there soon.”
I wasn't sure why he was calling me. He already knew what he was supposed to do, but he was waiting for me to change my mind. I wasn't going to change my mind when it came to Kristin and what to do with her. If anything else, I was going to drop her off and leave her. She had no reason to tell her tale to anybody else. Even if she did, all she knew about me was that my name was Red.
The truth was that it wasn't my real name at all, it was a nick name that I had picked up years before. I had always hated it, because it was given to me when I got so embarrassed that I turned red because of my fair complexion but this time around, I made sure that I didn't bother me anymore. I made everybody call me Red so long that it just became a part of me. When I told Kristin that she didn't know anything about me, it was true. She would never be able to find the apartment again and she would never be able to tell the police who I was if that was what she planned to do.
Kristin couldn’t hurt me, not in that way.
Hanging the phone up, I thought about what Dennis said and all of the danger that I was bringing to the whole operation. She didn't know what was happening here, and most likely she thought the worst. I had to imagine that was how she found out about me and why she was leaving now. She had seen more than she was supposed to and it freaked her out. It was that simple. I wanted to believe that Kristin had gotten scared and ran.
I don't know why, but I knew that Kristin wouldn't say anything. It was just a feeling that I had deep down, and I wasn't really sure why I had it, but I had convinced myself if nothing else that it was true. There was no other way that I could see it happening. I didn't want to believe that I had met a woman like Kristin, only to find out that I wasn't good enough for her. I had everything that anyone could ever want, but the one thing that I truly wanted. I wanted the girl, or should I say woman.
Taking a quick shower, I wanted to get myself together before I seen her. She was going to have a lot of questions and I wasn't sure how is going to answer them. I knew for certain ones that she had to see things my way. She had to see that I would do anything for her.
When I saw that the elevator was coming up to the loft, I wanted to believe that everything had worked out the way it was supposed to. Dennis had promised me that he would hurt her, and I trusted him. I trusted Kristin as well, even if I didn't know why. I had never trusted a woman before, but I really wanted to trust her. I wanted to believe that everything was going to be fine, even though at the moment I didn’t feel like it.
The elevator door opened and I breathe out a sigh of relief. He’d found her and now I was going to get all the answers that I needed. I don't know why, but I was still under the assumption that Kristin was just for me. Now I had to convince her that everything had happened for a reason.
I had to somehow convince her that what she saw was not really what she saw. It wasn't just that I had the weapons, it was more about what I was going to do with them. I was sure that when she understood it all, she would agree that the vault was the best place for the cargo from men like Golf.
Kristin
“I am not going anywhere with you. You two are monsters, most likely everyone I've met that knows Red is a monster. I am not going to say anything about what I seen, I just want to leave. Just let me leave.”
Dennis shook his head and told me that it wasn't going to happen.
“My job is to bring you back to Red.”
I was sure that I was going to die. After what I seen, there was no way that they were going to let me walk away. It had taken far less time for them to find me than I would have hoped. I would have hoped that they would have at least ta
ken a day or two. The sad part was that it was probably for the best because I only had enough money for another day or so anyways. New York City was very expensive.
“Please, just let me go. I won't say anything. I don't care what you guys have up there, or what it all is. Just let me go. You can tell him that I was already gone when you got here. No one ever has to know.”
I don't know why I was even trying to talk to Dennis. I had met him a couple of times, he always came in and spoke to Red in his ear, and then left again. It was quite clear that they were close and that Dennis was the man who got things done. I didn't think that I had any chance. I just knew that Red was going to do what he was going to do.
“Is he going to kill me?”
Dennis didn't answer and I don't know why that bothered me more than anything else. I felt like he didn't want to tell me, or did want to say it out loud. I was shaking and I looked at the door and the space between me and the man. I didn't think that I was going to get away, so I didn't even try. The last thing I wanted to do was piss them off even more than they already were. I had watch the movies and read all the books. There was always worse ways to die from guys like him.
“Fine, let me at least get my coat.”
It wasn't even my coat. It was one that Red had got for me. He had been dressing me, feeding me and doing so many more things to me since I had been here. I hated to say it but none of it was bad. The scary part was that I wished I had never went upstairs and seen it. I knew that he wasn't the most legitimate businessman, but learning about what was upstairs was just too much. I wish that I would have just been left in the dark and never known. Then I would be able to do more with him. Live in a fantasy world that we have made for ourselves. I wanted to go back to that so badly, but I knew it wasn't a choice.
I walked out the hotel room door with Dennis right behind me. There was nothing I could do about it, and the more I thought about it, the more I knew that it was my own fault. The saying about curiosity killing the cat came to mind and I can't say that I was too happy about it. I should've just stayed downstairs and took a nap.
The man behind me towered over me and I worried about what would happen next. My choice to be curious was going to get me killed, I just knew it. What if he didn’t take me back to Red at all?
He didn't say anything to me the short drive back to the apartment building. I could barely recognize it even as I sat in front of it. The one thing that I did recognize was the doorman Tony and I knew for sure that he was the one that had called on me. I knew as soon as I met him that I wouldn’t be able to trust him, so I didn't even try to get help from him as I was going inside to the elevator. All it would do was make Red even madder, and I didn't want to see him upset.
The elevator door dinged open and I tried to catch my breath. My heart was beating so hard in my chest that I couldn't hear much over the ring in my ears. It was just so loud, and I was so scared. It made it clear to me that I wasn't ready for an ending.
“Thank you Dennis. You can go home now.”
The man that brought me back didn't even get off the elevator. He just waited for the door to close and went back downstairs. I was left upstairs with Red, and all of a sudden the idea of that was frightening. I knew that he was mad at me because I had done the one thing that he told me not to do. Now, looking back, I don't really know why I did it. I should have known better.
“So, I hear that you went upstairs and had a look around?”
While I wanted to tell him that I hadn’t, it would have been a lie that was easily saw through. He knew already and there's no sense in lying about it. I might as well just be as honest as I could be and hope for the best. I wasn't very hopeful that it would turn out well, but at the same time I didn't want to say too much. I didn’t want him to know how I really felt about it all.
“Yes, I did. I wish I hadn’t.”
“Why is that?”
“Because you just had me dragged back here by Dennis. I don’t think that this is going to end well, so I should have never went up there. I saw too much.”
“Why did you run?”
I looked at him as if he had lost his mind. Was he being serious right now?
“Because it looks like you have something planned and I don’t want to be here when it happens. I want to be as far away from here as I can be.”
“Do you think I am the sort of man that would plan something with those things upstairs?”
He was looking like he was mildly upset about that and I wasn’t sure what to say. I was caught between my natural inclination to tell the truth and the part of me that was still convinced if I watched what I said, I would somehow get out of this.
“I really don't know what you want me to say here. “
“I want you to tell me what you really think. Do you really think I'm capable of such a thing?”
“I don't know why somebody would have those sort of things and not use them. I figure that you must have a reason for what you were doing. I have no judgement and like I said before to Dennis, I'm not going to say anything. Your secret is safe with me. All of it.”
“While that is good to hear, I assure you that I keep it for many reasons, but to use them is not one of them.”
He wasn't making any sense. I don't know why I wanted to believe him so badly, but I really did. Even though what he said made no sense whatsoever, I wanted to believe him. I didn't want to believe that I had fallen so quickly for a guy that could do such horrible things. I didn’t want to let go of the picture I had of him in my head. He had done things to my body that I couldn't even imagine, and I didn’t want to believe that he was the bad guy. I was okay with him being sort of a bad guy, a little illegal, but not somebody that would do something to hurt so many people.
I wanted to ask him so badly what that meant, but I knew that I shouldn't. I should just take it as he said it, and not hear anything else. I felt like if I knew more, bad things would happen.
But, apparently I am one of those people that can't shut their mouth, so I asked him what that meant. Red looked at little shocked that I was asking for details and I knew then that I should have kept my trap shut.
“I buy them because if I have them, they won't be used. All of the things you saw upstairs were bought on the open black market, and even what I bought from Golf was on sale to anyone. If I wouldn’t have bought it, a real terrorist would have used it. Now I know it's safe upstairs where no one can get to it. I got to a point where I had so much money that I had to figure out something to do with it. This is philanthropy that really changes lives.”
It sounded good in theory, and the fact was I really wanted to believe it him, made it easier to see the reasoning. I wanted to believe that he wasn't that sort of man, even though all of the evidence pointed to otherwise. Would it be so bad to play into the fairytale a little while longer?
The fairytale and my belief in it, may be the only way that I was ever going to get home. It was a far-off dream, but one that I was desperately clinging to for dear life.
Red
“What am I going to do with you?”
I could tell that my question gave her a bit of alarm. I don't know why, but I could actually see her mind working. She may not believe that I was a mass murderer, but that didn't mean that she believed me. I don't know why that bothered me so much. If I was in her shoes, I doubt it that I believe her either. I would think that it was stupid to.
“You can always let me go. I'm not going to say anything to anybody. Whether what you say is true or not, I will never say anything. After what happened between us, I don't think I would be able to anyways. I wouldn’t want anything to happen to you.”
I believed her, even though Dennis and everyone else would think that I was stupid and under her spell. There was a connection between us, and I wasn't the only one that felt it. I don't know if she actually thought that I was telling the truth or not about the weapons, but I knew that she didn't want anything to happen to me. That was a fact that I had
never had before with a woman I was with before. Loyalty was very hard to come by.
“Nothing's going to happen to me. And nothing is going to happen to you. The same reason that I wanted you here with me, still stands. I was going to let you go when I got Golf and my money back. I had a line on him, that's where I was tonight, but it seems like he did a run right before I could get to him. So now he is out twisting in the wind, trying to get something over me, and I want to make sure that he doesn't try to pick you up again. My sister is still out of the country, so I need you to stay close as well. Once this is taken care of, I will let you go back home. If that's what you want to do.”
“Are you really going to let me go?”
The truth was that I did want to let her go,. I wanted her to stay with me like she had been, but I had a feeling that when the time came, Kristin was going to want to go home. And I was going to have to let her.
“Like I said Kristin, if that is what you want.”
“What other choice is there?”
“You can stay here with me.”
She waved me off and told me that I was being silly.
“We barely even know each other.”
“I know enough about you Kristin, to know that I don't want to see you go. Isn't that enough?”
“I don't know. It has been crazy since I’ve been here and I don’t know if I can keep up with your lifestyle. I always played by the rules.”
I knew that I had put a lot on her, so I didn't blame her at all for her reaction. Rest assured though, I was going to do everything in my power to keep her here.
“Just promise me you won't take off again. You know what's up there now, you know my little secret, so stay put. It really is for your own safety. I don't want you getting picked up by Golf again. He has already made it clear that he has no problem doing such a thing and involving what he thinks is family.”
“Trust me Red, the last thing I want to do is get picked up by that man again.”