“I’m sorry. I need to think.”
She shakes her head at me and slides out of the booth, getting back to her feet. I do the same, although it takes me more effort than it does for her. My right leg throbs slightly, and I regret not bringing my cane with me. Why didn’t I bring it? Was I trying to impress Claire?
Maybe I was.
Her brows knit together. “What are you going to do?”
“I don’t know,” I mumble.
“Are you going to get back together with Bailey?”
“I don’t know.”
Claire puts a hand on her hip and snorts. “That woman has no clue how lucky she is. What is she? She’s nothing. You only like her because you’ve known her since you were a kid.”
“That’s not true.”
And that’s the only thing I know for sure. I’ve known a lot of women in my life, but I’ve never known anyone else like Bailey. I’ve never felt that way about any other woman. And I never will again.
Chapter 47: Bailey
While grocery shopping, I nearly break down crying.
Theo is dropping off Lily in an hour, before he has to go to work, so I figured I should stock up on groceries before she gets here. Not that Lily can’t come with me on a grocery-shopping trip, because she obviously can, but it’s a surprising struggle. She always wants to push the cart, which would be fine, but she can’t steer it for the life of her. So we tend to leave a wake of destruction after we finish shopping.
Noah knew this, so whenever he’d pick me up at work or the two of us were alone together, he’d ask me if I needed anything from the grocery store. It was such a mundane little detail about our lives together, but I loved that he did that. I loved how into domestic life he was. Especially after dealing with Theo, who felt like picking up a pack of Huggies on the way home was beyond him. On one hand, Noah was a glamorous and handsome emergency room doctor, but on the other hand, he was always eager to head to the grocery store because we were low on toilet paper or milk.
If things had gone a different way, I know he would have been happy to change diapers. Well, not happy, but he wouldn’t have acted like I was subjecting him to cruel and unusual punishment.
It’s that down-to-earth side of Noah that I miss the most.
When I get to the dairy aisle, I remember a conversation I had with Noah a few weeks ago when we were in this very spot.
I miss pink milk, he said wistfully as he gazed at a carton of strawberry-flavored milk.
Do you want me to buy it?
No! Bailey, my cholesterol…
Will the pink milk raise your cholesterol?
It’s got saturated fat, so yes, it will!
Well, how about if we get skim milk and I buy some strawberry powder?
He thought about it for a moment, then he kissed me. A kiss that was a little too intense for the middle of a grocery store. Let’s do it.
We bought the strawberry powder, which Noah had once before declaring, “Okay, there’s a reason why adults don’t drink pink milk.” Lily ended up finishing the strawberry powder. Rather quickly, actually.
I miss Noah being cute at the grocery store. I miss spending time with him. I wish we’d never gotten back together if this was going to happen. It’s almost more than I can take.
I’ve got to call him. Maybe we can figure this out.
I hoof it back to the apartment with two bags of groceries. I’ve got another hour before Lily returns—and that’s if Theo shows up on time. I’ll call Noah as soon as I get back. If he doesn’t answer, I’ll text him and insist we find a time to talk.
When I’m nearly back at the apartment, I pass a bistro where Noah and I have eaten several times. I glance at the windows that make up the storefront and nearly do a double-take. I can’t believe what I’m seeing.
Noah is sitting at one of the booths with a glass of wine in front of him. And Claire the Nurse sitting next to him.
Not across from him. Next to him.
Theo was right. Goddamn it.
I had thought maybe Noah was having some kind of internal crisis that I could talk him through. But no. Noah dumped me for the oldest reason in the book: he fell for someone else.
I get as close as I can before I risk being spotted. Claire looks really pretty, with her shiny blond hair loose around her face, and she’s got on some low-cut blouse. When I’ve seen her in the ER, she’s always looked really no-nonsense, but now she’s downright sexy. She’s got her hand on Noah’s arm and she’s inches away from him.
It’s hard to imagine this is innocent.
It’s all true—everything Theo said. Noah’s been sleeping with Claire. He’s undoubtedly staying at her place now. I mean, where else could he be staying? I bet everyone at work knew about it too—I wonder if they were gossiping about Noah’s poor, clueless fiancée.
I’m so stupid. He was cheating on me. And I never saw it coming.
The tears are fresh again by the time I get back to the apartment. I’m not going to call Noah, that’s for sure. Why make a fool out of myself? He’s obviously done with me. And if he’s the kind of guy who’d cheat on me, I’m done with him too.
My eyes are still puffy and swollen an hour later, when Theo is due to drop off Lily. I’m embarrassed to admit I go to the bathroom and slap on some makeup. I don’t want Theo to know I’ve been crying. And maybe there’s a small part of me that wants to look good around him.
But I’m fooling no one. The first thing Theo says when I open the door for him and Lily is, “Shit, Bailey. You okay?”
“I’m fine,” I say through my teeth.
“You look like you’ve been crying.”
“Well, I haven’t.”
“You haven’t been crying over Noah, have you?”
“No.” I look away. “Listen, thanks for bringing Lily by. I’ll see you later in the week.”
He hesitates, rubbing at the back of his neck. “I wish you’d have come last night. You missed a killer show.”
I force a tiny smile. “My loss.”
“Maybe next time?”
I nod. “Maybe.”
Theo furrows his brow. When I first met him, his face had no lines, but now he has a deep permanent crease between his eyebrows. “I would never hurt you the way he hurt you, Bailey.”
I don’t know what to say to that.
“I mean,” he adds, “I’ve done some bad things in the past. But I’ve grown up a lot. And I’ll prove it to you… if you’ll give me a second chance.”
I feel like I’m in some sort of bizarre-o world, where Noah is the cheating bastard and Theo is the one who is the picture of maturity. But maybe that’s my life now. I know what I saw with my own eyes in that bistro. And Theo seems to be making an effort like he never used to in the past.
Maybe Theo really has changed.
Chapter 48: Noah
“Good news, Mrs. Miller,” I say. “Your chest X-ray is normal.”
Elizabeth Miller, eighty-four years young, furrows her wrinkled brow from her bed in Room Two. “Well, why do I keep coughing then?”
“It’s a viral infection,” I say. “I’m going to give you prescription for something that will help your symptoms.”
“An antibiotic?” she asks hopefully.
“No, you don’t need an antibiotic.”
“Well, how am I supposed to get better then, Dr. Walsh?”
“Mrs. Miller.” I give her a sober look. “You don’t need an antibiotic. I promise you. Do you trust me?”
Her blue eyes soften. “Yes, I trust you. You’re so nice, Dr. Walsh. You took so much time with me.”
“Well, thanks.”
“And also…”
Here it comes.
“You’re so handsome!”
I smile tolerantly. “Thank you.”
“Are you married?” She looks down at my left hand. “You’re not. Are you?”
“No,” I admit. “I’m not.”
I brace myself, waiting for her to attempt to s
et me up with her niece/daughter/granddaughter/neighbor. But instead, she just sighs. “You’ll make some lucky woman a wonderful husband someday.”
That remains to be seen.
“I’ll get that prescription ready for you, Mrs. Miller,” I tell her. “Is there anything else?”
Mrs. Miller bites her lip. This is where she tells me she’s been peeing blood for the last month. “I shouldn’t say. I don’t want to take up your valuable time, Doctor.”
I frown at her. “Don’t say that. Tell me what’s on your mind.”
She heaves a sigh. “That man who was in here before was very rude.”
Staff complaints. This is a time when it would be nice to have Claire here. She’s great at taking care of stuff like that. I think my professional relationship with her has been permanently tarnished. “What man do you mean?”
“I’m not sure,” she says carefully. “But… well, he came in here and he was all huffy. And he said he had to change the sheets in my bed. But I was in my gown already! So he made me get out of bed and stand there while he changed the sheets.
I stare at her. “Are you serious?” It’s hard to believe one of our staff members would behave that way.
She nods solemnly. “And he couldn’t wait for even a second—practically shoved me out of the bed. It really wasn’t very nice at all.”
“Do you remember his name?”
She taps a wrinkled finger against her chin. “Well, I’m not sure… but… oh, wait!” Her face lights up. “His first name was Theodore. Because I remember thinking Teddy Roosevelt would never act that way!”
Theo. Theo shoved my rule-out-pneumonia patient out of bed. Why am I not surprised?
“I know exactly who that was,” I say through my teeth. After I got him a goddamn job… after I gave up the love of my life for him… “Don’t worry. We’ll take care of it.”
I’m seething with anger when I get out of Mrs. Miller’s room. I shouldn’t be the one to confront Theo about this, because I’m too goddamn furious. I won’t handle it professionally. I might hit him.
But someone is going to address this, that’s for damn sure. I won’t have him mistreating my patients.
I pull out my phone. Before I started my shift, I tried to call Bailey, but there was no answer. I hung up without leaving a message and texted her: Can we talk?
I don’t know what to do. I can’t stop thinking about her. But she was pretty pissed at me when she left that restaurant, and she’s surely seen Theo since then. What if it’s too late? What if she’s already made up her mind to get back together with him?
I can’t think about this right now. I’ve got to focus on my job.
_____
“Hey, Noah. I need your expertise.”
The PA George grabs me while I’m coming out of another room. I’d sent him to see a patient with a thigh laceration—he’s pretty good at sewing up lacs. Better than me. If you don’t want a scar, George is your man.
“What’s wrong?” I ask.
“The lac is pretty deep,” he says. “I’d like you to take a look.”
I nod. “All right. Let me grab some supplies and I’ll meet you there.”
The supply room is down the hall, just by where the ER attaches to the rest of the hospital. Anything deeper than a superficial lac is supposed to be sewed up by a doctor, so I guess it’s going to be me. Fortunately, it’s been pretty slow tonight. Good thing, since my head still isn’t entirely in the game.
I enter the three-digit code for the supply room and push open the door. I blink a few times and take a step back when I see there’s a couple making out in the back of the room.
Now, it’s not like I haven’t seen that before. I have. Okay, I’ll be honest: Claire and I once made out in here. It’s very… private. It’s all the way at the end of the ER, and there’s that code to get in. So… it’s tempting. And exciting. I get it. I’m not thrilled, but I’m not particularly angry either.
Until I see who is involved in the liplock:
It’s Kaitlin, our nurse.
And Theo.
“What the fuck?” I yell.
Kaitlin has the decency to back away, her usually pale cheeks flushing crimson. Theo, on the other hand, doesn’t seem the slightest bit embarrassed. In fact, as Kaitlin is pulling away, he leans in closer to her.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” I snap at Theo.
He lifts his eyes to look at me. And then I do something I’m not particularly proud of, which is I grab him by the collar and shove him hard against the wall. About five catheter insertion kits and three bedpans crash to the ground.
“Dr. Walsh!” Kaitlin shrieks.
“Let go of me, asshole!” Theo yelps. He takes a swing at me, but he’s a really shitty fighter, and I’m able to dodge him easily. Christ, what did Bailey see in this guy?
I tighten my grip on his scrub top and shove him against the wall again. “What the hell is the matter with you? Do you know what I gave up for you?”
“Yeah.” Even as I’ve got him shoved against the wall, Theo manages a smile. “I had a great time with Bailey last night. Thanks for that, by the way.”
I’m going to murder him. I’m going to put my fist right through his face.
“Dr. Walsh!” Kaitlin shouts again.
Her words break through the haze of red I’m seeing. I can’t beat Theo to a bloody pulp. The last thing I need is an assault charge to ruin my career. I loosen my grip on his shirt, taking deep breaths to calm myself down.
“Get out of my ER,” I say to Theo.
“But I’ve got to—”
“Get the fuck out of my ER,” I growl.
He looks like he’s about to protest again, but then he thinks better of it. As I watch him scurry off, I think about what my father said to me. About how the best thing he could do for me was excluding himself from my life. Theo doesn’t deserve to be in Bailey and Lily’s lives—at least, not as Bailey’s husband. I could do so much better than him. For starters, I wouldn’t cheat on her.
But I might be too late.
I had a great time with Bailey last night.
No, fuck it. I’m going to get Bailey back. No matter what.
Chapter 49: Bailey
“Lily,” I say not so patiently, “what word is this? You know this one.”
She frowns.
“Lily, come on!”
She shrugs.
“The word is ‘the.’ Are you serious? How do you not know that word? It’s literally one of the first words you learned!”
“I forgot,” she says.
“But…” I sputter. I don’t get it. But what I understand least is how Noah was able to put up with this every day without completely losing his mind. “All right, let’s keep reading.”
“I lost my place.”
I point my finger at the last word she read. The.
“I can’t see the word, Mom! You’re blocking it with your finger!”
I’m going to have a stroke before we finish this book. I swear to God.
“How many pages do we have left in the chapter anyway?” Lily grabs the book from me and flips through the pages, counting how much we’ve got left. It’s five pages. Same as it was last time she counted two minutes ago. At this rate, there’s a small chance she’ll finish before the end of first grade.
The doorbell rings—a brief reprieve. I can’t imagine who would be coming to our door at nearly nine o’clock at night. Theo mentioned something about stopping by after his shift, but that won’t be for at least another couple of hours. I didn’t tell him no, even though I wasn’t sure I wanted him here. I still feel so awful about Noah—I can’t think straight.
“Who is it?” I say as I get on my toes to look through the peephole.
“It’s me.”
Me?
I throw open the door and there he is. Noah. Standing at the door in his scrubs, looking tired and rumpled and sexy as hell. I don’t know why he rang the doorbell since he’s got a
key. Maybe he was being polite. That’s what our relationship has become: politeness. He’s being polite and letting me stay at the apartment. He’s being polite and ringing the doorbell.
I bet he’s not polite around Claire.
“Bailey,” he says. “Hey.”
I avoid his slightly bloodshot eyes. “Did you forget something?”
“Yeah.” One corner of his lips lift. “You.”
I roll my eyes. “Very funny. What do you need?”
“I’m serious, Bailey.” His light brown eyebrows bunch together. “Can I come in? Please?”
Before I can respond, Lily spots Noah at the door. Her whole face lights up like it’s Christmas and she leaps off the couch. “NOAH!!!!!!!!”
She propels herself at him. He sees it coming and grabs onto the doorway to keep his balance when she collides with his lower half. He grunts, then laughs.
“Where were you?” Lily demands to know.
“I was…” He glances at me, then back at Lily. “I was staying at a hotel.”
A “hotel.” Sure.
“Mom said you weren’t coming back.”
His Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows. “Uh, well…”
“You should tell her the truth, Noah,” I say stiffly. “She deserves to hear it from you.”
“The truth…” He frowns, looking between us. “The truth is… I need to talk to your mom. Alone.”
“Why bother?” I mumble. “Do you need us to leave the apartment? Is that what you want?”
“No, that’s not what I want.”
“Well, isn’t that nice of you? Not throwing us out on the street.” I put my hands on my hips. “Theo will let us stay with him if you want your place back.”
His blue eyes darken. “No. Bailey, no.”
“What do you care? You’ve got Claire.”
“Claire?” His eyes widen. “What does she have to do with anything?”
“Theo told me about the two of you.”
His right hand balls into a fist. “And you believed Theo?”
“Save it,” I snort. “I also saw you two all cozy at that bistro a few blocks away. I know it’s true.”
“I swear to you, Bailey.” He straightens up and places a hand on his chest. “I don’t know what you think you saw, but there’s nothing going on between me and Claire. Nothing.”
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