Contrasting Lives

by Leah Dempster

  When their food arrived, the visitors drifted away, leaving them to eat in peace.

  Emily tucked into her Smoked Salmon Scramble, and watched Bud attack his Spicy Creole Andouille Hash with gusto. Sally had gone traditional with a plate of Eggs Benedict with Breakfast Potatoes, and the hollandaise sauce was tempting as its aroma wafted across the table to where Emily was sitting.

  “I had another phone call from Henry Austin,” Sally announced, daintily taking a bite from her eggs. “He won't take no for an answer, Em, he really wants to see you again.”

  Emily wiped at her lips with a napkin before she sipped her juice. “Henry's a very nice man,” she admitted with a wistful smile. Henry had been one of her first clients, and remained one of her regulars. Seventy-two years old, he was white haired with bright blue eyes, and the craggy, work worn face of a man who had led a remarkable life. He regularly entertained Emily with his stories about life in Hollywood during the fifties, when he'd been a top casting agent, and worked with some of the most famous names in Hollywood history. He'd made his fortune working with some of those actors and even now, loved to name-drop shamelessly whenever he was given the opportunity.

  “He says he'll pay triple for one last date with you,” Sally said quietly, watching Emily for her reaction. “He's asking for an overnighter.”

  “I'm grateful for his generosity, but I can't do it,” Emily responded. “I said I'd pull back from the escort work until I know what the situation is with Matt, and I'm going to stick to my promise.”

  “If that's what you want, sweetie, I'll let Henry know,” Sally agreed with a warm smile. “And now that you've brought up the subject… what is happening with you and the delightful Mr. Pendleton?”

  So far, Em had avoided telling her friends what had happened last night. Now though, when Sally had brought up the subject, Emily knew there would be no escaping her determination to get all the details. Consequently, she blurted out the entire debacle with Courtney and then slumped back in her seat and waited for her friends' reactions.

  Bud spoke first and what he had to say came as a surprise. “Em, don't give up on the guy. You said yourself, this wasn't going to be easy, but I've seen the look in your eyes. You've got feelings for him. His kid'll get used to the idea.”

  “I agree,” Sally announced. She'd finished attacking her breakfast and was cradling her third coffee between her beautifully manicured fingers. “Give him a chance to figure this out.”

  Emily shook her head, twisting a serviette in her hands. “His family is really nice, and I do like his kids… but I don't think Courtney will come to terms with Matt dating someone.”

  “Pffft,” Sally shook her head and released a hand from her cup, pointing a red taloned index finger at Emily. “Trust me, I know kids. She might put up a fuss for a few months, but once she gets to know how wonderful you are, she'll love you. How could she not?”

  Em smiled at Sally's exuberance, wondering briefly how Sally could possibly know anything about kids. She'd never married, from what Emily understood, and Em was quite certain she would have heard if there were any kids in Sally's background. Sure, she loved the kids at the hospital, and did all she could to help them and other deserving children's charities, but Em didn't believe Sally had family of her own. She'd never spoken about family, hadn't ever mentioned being married, or divorced in the past. As far as Emily knew, the staff at Salacious was Sally's family. “It's not that easy, Sally.”

  Bud snorted, picking at a piece of Andouille sausage from his plate. “It's not that difficult either, Em. Don't make things more complicated than they have to be.”

  Emily rolled her eyes. “Did you not hear what I've been saying? Widowed? Police Detective? Four kids? One who already hates me? And a family of relatives who will probably not take well to discovering I'm a submissive escort?”

  “Who says they have to find out that part?” Sally responded soothingly. “There is no reason on earth, why that can't be kept between you and Matt.”

  * * *

  Chapter Fourteen

  Matt was enjoying a sense of relief a few days later. Late on Sunday night, he'd made a spur of the moment decision to keep the kids home from school for three days, to give everyone the opportunity to wind down and spend some time together as a family. Both the principal from Courtney's junior high and the elementary school had understood when he'd explained the situation, and agreed a few days of quality time with their father might be good for everyone. He'd taken a month off when Caroline died, but now, he wasn't certain he shouldn't have taken more. His job was relentless, time-consuming, and stressful and he could see now that he'd been bringing a lot of that home with him. It was something he would need to consider going forward, perhaps being a detective was not going to be a suitable career for a single father of four in the long term. He wondered if he should try and push for a desk job with the SPD, although he didn't think he'd enjoy it. He'd loved the rush of adrenaline that came with homicide, but perhaps it would give the kids a sense of security if he weren't out on the streets. With a lot of soul-searching, Matt had to admit he didn't love the job in the way he once had, and he resolved to make some inquiries about possible career options when he got back to work.

  The three-day break seemed to have been successful, and he was pleased with Courtney's progress. She seemed more relaxed around him than she had been in months; her attitude much improved with each passing day and the moody and depressed teenager had actually smiled and laughed, quite a few times in the past few days. She was still having her moments, but Matt knew he couldn't expect miracles. They'd taken eighteen months to get into this mess; it wouldn't be resolved in seventy-two hours. Still he was pleased with the progress they had made and he'd enjoyed the time with them.

  He'd taken the kids to the Woodland Park Zoo on Monday, deciding it would be a treat for everyone to get out of the house and do something different. Matt had packed a picnic lunch early in the morning and they set off for a day of adventure. Millie had loved the zoo, and had to be dragged, extremely reluctantly from the meerkats enclosure after twenty-five minutes of delighted squeals and continual diatribe about what the small creatures were doing. Fortunately, her sulking over having to leave the meerkats was soon forgotten as she espoused her delight at seeing the snow leopard in the next enclosure. She asked about a million questions and Matt was grateful for the information signs available at each enclosure, giving him at least a passing amount of knowledge with which to sate her fervent curiosity.

  They enjoyed a picnic lunch by the historic carousel, before continuing their leisurely stroll around the grounds and the kids declared the day a success – even Courtney grudgingly admitting to having enjoyed herself.

  Matt had been grateful when he returned home, to discover his Mom and sisters had been over while they'd been out, and between the three of them had caught up on all the washing and ironing, cleaned the house from top to bottom and they'd even dusted, something Matt hadn't managed since Caroline died. Not that he thought dusting was a useful occupation, because surely to God, you were just swishing the dust from one piece of furniture to the next? Even so, he was deeply appreciative of the effort they'd gone to, and ordered a delivery of flowers to each of them the following day.

  Tuesday was a relaxing day at home for everyone, and the kids spent the day lounging around in their pajamas in the living room, taking turns to watch their favorite movies. Matt joined them after catching up on some household bills, he'd enjoyed hearing the kids' laughter over their favorite scenes in the movies, and they'd enjoyed some lively discussions regarding their favorite Pixar movies. Personally, Matt was a Shrek fan, but there was a great deal of debate over Toy Story and Cars. Courtney hadn't been so involved, but she'd smiled and hung around, rather than slouching up to her bedroom to hide out. And wonder of wonders, for the second day in a row, he and Courtney hadn't fought over anything.

  By the time Matt returned to work on Thursday, he wavered between abject relief
that things had settled down a little, and a stark rush of fear that it couldn't last. He didn't think their problems were going to be resolved with one huge fight, a lecture from her grandmother and an in-depth discussion between him and Courtney. But for now, he'd take what he was getting and keep his fingers crossed for the future.

  ≈≈◊◊≈◊◊≈≈

  Matt had struggled all week with a desperate urge to contact Emily, make certain she was all right, and to talk further about their situation. But he'd made a promise to her that he'd give them both some space, and he'd accepted her request that he not contact her for a week. Each day, he found it harder to keep to his promise. So many things had happened in the three days he'd been home, so many anecdotes he wished he could share with her, about what he and kids had been enjoying. And now, back at work, each day he found himself lost in daydreams about seeing Emily, getting to know her better. The little curly-headed brunette was invading his mind and soul, day and night.

  He wanted to talk to Emily about their burgeoning relationship, and he wanted to learn more about the relationship between a Dominant and submissive. Emily had made it clear this was a requirement for her in any prospective relationship and Matt had a burning need to know if he really could provide her with what she needed. Consequently, each night after the kids had gone to bed, Matt found himself searching the internet for more information, trying to figure out exactly what was required of a Dominant and what his role was in regard to providing Emily with what she needed as a sub. And each night, he would carefully erase his browsing history, to ensure the kids wouldn't catch sight of anything they shouldn't be seeing.

  “You're looking a little anxious there, partner,” Paul observed on Monday afternoon, as Matt drove them across town to an interview for a case they'd picked up the previous Friday. “Could it have anything to do with a certain curly-headed, blue eyed woman we both know?”

  Matt grinned and sipped his coffee. “I'm going to contact Emily tonight, see if she'll go out with me again.”

  “Things are better with Courtney?” Paul questioned casually, his gaze focused on the windscreen.

  “Seem to be. She's still having her moments, but overall, we're making progress,” Matt agreed. “I've introduced Emily into the conversation a couple of times, here and there, and Courtney's head hasn't rotated off its axis, so I'm taking that as a good sign.” Matt took his eyes from the road for a moment, flicking his gaze towards Paul. “Have you heard from Emily?”

  “She's spoken to Mandy a few times, but I haven't spoken to her directly, no,” Paul admitted. He caught the expression on Matt's face and grinned. “And no, I don't know what she and Mandy have spoken about. I might be Mandy's Dom, but I respect her need for privacy surrounding girl talk. If she thought I needed to know anything, she'd tell me.”

  Matt plucked up the courage to ask the question that had hovered on his mind almost since the day he met Emily. “What happened to her, Paul? How did she end up at Salacious?”

  Paul chuckled and shook his head firmly. “No can do, buddy. If you're going to build a sound relationship with that little sub, you're going to have to earn her trust and respect yourself, so that she'll feel comfortable enough to tell you.”

  Paul was far more open about his relationship with Mandy, in fact, with the whole BDSM thing, since Matt had met Emily. A couple of times over the past week, he'd offered to help Matt out with learning about the subject, and Matt had to wonder if it was actually a relief for Paul, to no longer need to keep things secret, the way he had been for the past eight years. Matt hadn't yet worked up the courage to question Paul in detail regarding the subject, preferring to keep his investigations of the lifestyle to himself, but he'd thanked Paul for the offers.

  By the time Matt got home on Monday night, he was jumping out of his own skin, waiting for the opportunity to phone Emily. He'd done everything he could, to pave the way for the phone call, even sitting down with Courtney to let her know what his plans were and that he wanted to speak to Emily and see her again. He wasn't going to take any risks with sneaking around behind Courtney's back, didn't want to mess this up.

  He guessed Emily might be working at Salacious, so he decided to send a text first, and if she were available, he'd call. By the time the kids had been fed and bathed, homework was out of the way and Millie had been settled into bed, Matt was incredibly nervous and couldn't wait a second longer to make the call. Courtney and Harper were watching a program on television, and Brandon was settled in bed, reading before sleep time. “Twenty five minutes, Brandon, then lights out,” Matt warned his son, before he slipped into his own bedroom to text Emily.

  His fingers shook as he created the message on the touch screen and he smiled wryly, wondering how this woman had managed to convert him into an anxious, horny teenager, all over again.

  MATT: Hi Em. I've given you a full week as you requested, and we've both had plenty of time to think. Courtney is much better, and seems to be settling to the idea of me spending some time with you. Can I call, so we can talk things through?

  He paced the floor for the next ten minutes, wavering between thinking Emily wouldn't respond, and tamping down the need to just go ahead and call her number to hear her voice.

  When his handset buzzed, Matt's relief was so great; it seemed as if his heart was beating up around his throat. He slumped onto the bed when he read the message, staring at the small screen in disbelief.

  EMILY: I can't see you again, Matt. I don't think it's fair to your children at this stage in your life for you to become involved with another woman. I've loved the time we had together, but I can't do this to your family. Goodbye and good luck, Em.

  ≈≈◊◊≈◊◊≈≈

  It took Matt a good thirty minutes to get up off the bed, and a further couple of hours to consider Emily's message. He'd been so certain she would see him again, had been counting on the opportunity to pursue this amazing chemistry they had together. The idea that she would refuse to see him was a body blow he was still recovering from, two hours later. While Emily had said she was basing her decision on his family's needs, Matt thought there was probably more to it. There had to be. He didn't think Emily could be feeling any less attraction than he was, and she'd genuinely seemed to enjoy the time she'd spent with his kids and his family. He wondered if she was suffering the same doubts that he'd been having, about whether he could provide for her need for dominance. Hell, there could be a million reasons why she didn't want to see him again, but as he paced the floor, he was certain of one thing.

  She hadn't told him she wasn't interested.

  She'd used the kids as an excuse to break things off, he was certain. The more he thought about it, the more he was convinced he was right. There was so much he didn't know about Emily –much of her background was still a mystery to him – and he knew there was something, somewhere, in her past, that was adding to why she'd decided against pursuing a relationship. He needed to break down those barriers, find a way of proving he could be what she needed, if she'd give him a chance. While he knew there was a great deal of difficulty to overcome between them, Matt was determined to see this thing through to a natural conclusion, one way, or the other. If they weren't meant to be, he'd accept that, but as far as he was concerned, they hadn't given themselves enough of an opportunity to see what this relationship could become.

  Finally, after a great deal of self-examination and introspection, Matt picked up his phone again and called the one person he thought could help him make Emily change her mind.

  “Paul,” he began, when his friend answered the phone. “I need your help.”

  * * *

  Chapter Fifteen

  Emily pulled up outside Paul and Mandy's house the following Saturday night and turned off the ignition with a sigh. It seemed all she did lately was sigh heavily, ever since she's broken things off with Matt.

  She ached. Physically and mentally ached from the decision she'd made to avoid any further contact with the handsome d
etective. For a few days, after telling Matt they should take a few days to think things through, she'd allowed herself to believe in the fantasy – the one where she and Matt could have a future together. But the more she'd considered the situation, the more she knew that it was never going to eventuate. Matt had too much at stake to give up for her, and she didn't think she could trust enough to overcome her fears.

  She'd been pleased when Mandy telephoned this morning, suggesting she come over for dinner tonight. It had been a lousy week; one where she'd firmly told herself she'd made the right decision in one breath and in the next, she'd physically had to stop herself from texting Matt and telling him, she'd made a mistake. She'd spent hours with Sally, listening to her friend espouse on the reasons she should see Matt again. Even Bud had gotten onto the bandwagon, sitting beside her at the bar in Salacious while she worked, talking her through the situation, and trying to get her to reconsider.

  Emily had refused point blank, and gone through the week in a blur of classes during the day and nights spent working behind the bar. She needed to make a decision about returning to the escort work – more than once Sally had offered her to the opportunity to get back to the job – but somehow, she couldn't bring herself to do it yet.

  She hadn't slept properly in days, couldn't seem to get Matt out of her mind. No matter what she did to try and distract herself, he was there… haunting her with questions of 'what if' and 'what could have been'.

  In her heart though, she knew she'd made the right decision for him and his family. He couldn't get involved with someone like her.

  With another heartfelt sigh, Emily snatched up her overnight bag and got out of the car, making her way up the path to Paul's house and pasting a smile onto her lips as she knocked at the door. This was the first thing she'd managed to do, outside of work and college in the last fortnight and she mentally castigated herself against further moping.