Contrasting Lives

by Leah Dempster

  “I have stopped, Matt.” He could hear the tears clogging up her throat.

  Matt laughed hollowly. “Yeah? So you're gonna tell me you weren't with a client last night?”

  Emily spoke hurriedly. “I was with a client, Matt, but it isn't what you think, Henry—”

  Matt shook his head. “Forget it, Emily, or Sienna, or whatever the fuck you want to call yourself. You go right ahead and screw Henry and any other fucker you feel like. You're deluding yourself, if you think you're anything but a two-bit hooker. Calling yourself an 'escort' doesn't make any difference to what you are. You fuck men for money; spread your legs at the first sign of a dollar bill. I came down there last night to tell you I wouldn't be seeing you again. Discovering you was out turning tricks just made it easier for me to make the decision. Goodbye, Emily. Have a great life.” Matt disconnected the call and flung the cell phone across the room, watching it hit the wall and smash into pieces.

  * * *

  Chapter Twenty

  The sound at Emily's door had increased from gentle tapping on Sunday night, through to loud knocking this morning. The persistent hammering at the wooden door now, as the sun had set on another day, assured Emily that Sally had finally run out of patience and wouldn't be appeased until she saw for herself that Emily was all right.

  Dragging herself off the bed, where she'd been laying for the past forty-eight hours in a self-absorbed funk, Emily pulled a robe over her pajamas and wrenched open the door. “I'm fine,” she announced tiredly, turning back to turn on the coffee machine. She knew for a certainty that Sally would follow her into the apartment and would want confirmation that Emily was okay.

  Filling the jug with water, Emily reached up for mugs and dumped them onto the counter, keeping her back to Sally. She didn't want to talk, didn't want to discuss what had happened on Sunday morning. In fact, she didn't want to speak to anyone, ever again. Her hopes and expectations had come crashing down around her ears with Matt's phone call, and even now, forty-eight hours later, she still hadn't come to terms with his sudden turnaround. What had he meant when he said he'd visited Salacious to tell her he wouldn't be seeing her again? What had caused him to change his mind so abruptly?

  “Better grab another mug, I've brought back up,” Sally announced.

  Cursing the way her heart leapt into her throat, with traitorous hopes that the visitor was Matt, Emily turned around and saw Mandy standing in the doorway, sympathy obvious in her expression. As quickly as her heart had reached her throat – it plummeted to the depths of her stomach again and Emily turned back to the counter, to hide the tears that sprang up in her eyes. Damn Matt Pendleton for getting her hopes up that he might be the perfect man for her – just to dash them with his coldhearted words.

  A hand touched her shoulder and Emily turned in time to be wrapped in Mandy's reassuring hug, and was unable to stop her tears from falling freely.

  “You are not okay, and you haven't been okay for two days,” Sally grumbled, giving Emily a gentle shove with her hip. “I'll make the coffee. You sit down and talk to us. I'm not having you getting depressed again, not as you were when you arrived here. No man is worth that, you hear. No man.”

  Mandy grabbed a box of Kleenex off the counter and guided Emily over to the table, pressing her down into a chair. Emily snatched a couple of tissues from the box and blew her nose, determined to pull herself together.

  Mandy settled in a chair beside Emily, crossing her long legs and resting her elbows on the table. “Emily, I'm so sorry things got into such a mess. Paul and I honestly thought Matt would be good for you. Turns out, we were wrong.”

  Emily sniffled and brushed her hair back from her face. “It's not your fault. There were too many things against us to begin with.”

  “Be that as it may, he had no right to treat you so badly,” Sally sniffed disdainfully, placing steaming mugs of coffee in front of Mandy and Emily.

  Mandy's eyebrows rose and she picked up her mug, sipping the hot liquid carefully before she spoke again. “Paul's in agreement with you, Sally, he thinks Matt handled it badly, but there are some factors involved that you don't know about.”

  “What factors?” Sally questioned suspiciously. Since the phone call with Matt on Sunday morning, and the brief explanation Emily had managed before retreating to her apartment, Sally had obviously come down definitively on the side of 'Team Emily'.

  Briefly, Mandy explained what she'd learned about the situation with Matt and his eldest daughter – how Courtney had overheard his conversation with Emily the previous week, and the way the situation had deteriorated with Matt's sisters becoming involved, before Matt made the decision to break things off for his daughter's sake. “In some ways, I think discovering you were out with a client made it easier for Matt, gave him somewhere to focus his anger,” Mandy mused. “Didn't stop me from telling him what an asshole he was, though.”

  Em was holding her head in her hands, dismayed by what she was hearing. She was still hurt by what Matt had said, but she understood better now where he was coming from, why he'd reacted to angrily. “Poor Matt,” she whispered.

  “Enough of the 'poor Matt'!” Sally snapped. “He still treated you badly and you did nothing to deserve it.”

  Emily shook her head, feeling utterly defeated. “Yeah, I did. I went out with a client when I'd promised him I wouldn't. I betrayed his trust.”

  “But you didn't do anything!” Mandy protested.

  Emily pulled at her bottom teeth with her lips. “Don't you see? It doesn't matter now. And what he said was the truth. I have had sex with men for money. I am a whore. How could a man like Matt Pendleton possibly have a relationship with me? I don't deserve someone like him.” Standing up abruptly, Emily shoved the chair away from the table and began to strip off her robe and pajamas, reaching for a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt.

  Sally exchanged a worried glance with Mandy. “Where are you going, honey?”

  “Out for a run.”

  “You're taking Bud, right?” Mandy asked.

  “Sure. Whatever.” Emily pulled on a pair of sneakers and wrenched the door open. “I just need some air, some space.”

  What she really needed was to find a way to excise Matt Pendleton from her brain.

  Somehow, she doubted that would happen. Not for a very long time. She'd fallen fast and hard for the man, and he wouldn't be disappearing from her heart any time soon.

  ≈≈◊◊≈◊◊≈≈

  To Matt, it seemed as if the next few weeks drifted by in a thick fog and all he managed to do was function, and barely. Some days, he hardly managed that much.

  A visit to the family doctor secured a referral to one of Seattle's top psychologists, Mark Warren. He'd had to drag Courtney, kicking and screaming, to her first appointment.

  Mark Warren was a balding man in his mid-fifties, with angular features and a long, thin body, which he crowded onto a chair as if he were a particularly complex piece of macramé. Wearing corduroy trousers with patched knees, and a checked shirt that didn't match the pants, Matt hadn't been impressed by the psychologist on their initial meeting, and wondered if this truly was the right person to help Courtney with her problems.

  To make matters worse, Courtney had vacillated between being completely unresponsive and in the next minute, screaming abuse at both Mark Warren and her father, for the entire one-hour consultation. While Matt had been ready to tear his hair out, Mark Warren had calmly stood up at the end of the meeting, and told Courtney he wanted to see her again on Thursday.

  Thursday's meeting found Matt sitting in the psychologist's office, with Courtney sitting militantly beside him. She was so angry; he could feel waves of icy disapproval washing off her like a moderately sized tsunami.

  To Matt's surprise, Mark Warren didn't seem in the slightest bit concerned about her behavior; instead, the psychologist had spoken to Matt, going over Courtney's history, while ever-increasing waves of Courtney's fury battered Matt, until he began to thin
k she'd never speak to him again.

  By their third visit, Matt needed nearly three hours to bully and cajole Courtney into the car, and he was beginning to think he needed to consult his own damn psychologist, because he was so tightly strung.

  Just when Matt had thought things couldn't possibly get worse, they did. They arrived home from the psychologist the following Monday, to find Matt's parents waiting on the front doorstep. Matt got out of the car, and could tell, just by glancing at their mutually serious expressions, he wasn't going to be able to fob them off any longer. He'd been avoiding contact with his parents – no mean feat when he was dealing with Courtney and three other kids, but Gina and Paula had stepped up to the plate with regards to keeping an eye on the kids while Matt tried to deal with Courtney. Again, Matt found himself on leave from his job, which was probably a good thing, as he and Paul were barely on speaking terms. Paul had made his thoughts clear regarding the way Matt had treated Emily, and in hindsight, Matt couldn't blame him. He had been an asshole, not giving Emily the opportunity to explain.

  Matt's heart plunged again when he thought about Emily, and recalling the way he'd spoken to her. He regretted every word, but still couldn't overcome his rage that she'd cheated on him. He and Paul had almost gotten into a fistfight over it, and on top of everything else, Matt had to worry about whether his relationship with Paul could recover after the harsh words they'd exchanged. He hadn't let Paul explain any of the bullshit reasons why Em had gone out with the john and refused to discuss the situation, telling Paul to fuck off out of his business. In return, Paul has castigated him over the way he'd spoken to Emily, but Matt wouldn't back down. In the end, Paul had thrown his hands in the air and walked away – a situation Matt regretted every single day. Even now, Matt found himself wondering if he'd been wrong in not giving Emily the chance to explain – but it was too late now. And given what had happened with Courtney, he couldn't let Emily back into his life. But he was struggling with regrets, every single day. And he kept coming back to the same, non-negotiable issue of trust. Emily had promised him she wouldn't turn tricks while they sorted out their situation – and she'd gone against that promise.

  “Matthew. Courtney.” Jim Pendleton stood up as Matt and Courtney approached the front door and wrapped his granddaughter in a bear hug. Matt was pleased Courtney allowed the exchange – after their appointment with Mark Warren, he'd suffered through a silent drive home, with Courtney sitting as far away as possible from him in the car. He wouldn't have put it past her to storm past her grandparents and completely ignore them, too.

  Clare Pendleton studied her son's face with undisguised worry in her eyes, before she brushed her fingers across Courtney's head and took over the hugging as soon as Jim released Courtney.

  “Let's go inside,” Matt suggested, unlocking the front door.

  “Why no school today, Court?” Clare asked as she wrapped her arm around Courtney's shoulder and guided her inside. Her voice was innocuous enough; and the question sounded innocent, although Matt knew from the subtle tone in his mother's voice that she was on a fishing expedition, and wouldn't back away until she had the answers she wanted.

  Courtney's cheeks grew pink, and Matt watched her warily, wondering how she would explain her refusal to attend school. He hadn't told his parents what was going on, because he hadn't wanted to worry them. Heading towards the kitchen, Matt wondered which one of his sisters had finally ratted him out. He was betting on Paula – she was still refusing to forgive Matt for getting involved with Emily in the first place. Although she'd done everything in her power to support him with the kids, Matt knew she was still angry over the situation eventuating. The only fortunate part in this entire debacle had been that Courtney hadn't heard his entire conversation with Emily. She knew he and Emily had been intimate, but she'd started eavesdropping at a point where she'd only heard Matt admitting to sex. To Matt's eternal relief, she hadn't heard anything about Em's submissiveness, or the escort work.

  “It's Dad's fault. Ask him,” Courtney said insolently, glaring daggers at Matt as she stomped away and ran upstairs before Matt could stop her.

  Matt squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, clamping down on a desire to throttle his eldest daughter. Today's session with Mark Warren seemed to have gotten them no closer to making progress than the previous two, and while Mark Warren seemed to be perfectly content with the snail-like progress they were making, Matt grew more frustrated with every passing day.

  When he opened his eyes again, Matt discovered his parents were standing and watching him astutely. Clare turned to the kitchen counter and picked up the kettle, filling it with water before placing it on to boil. “I'll make coffee.”

  Jim indicated that Matt should precede him, and they walked out into the garden. Matt slumped down onto one of the chairs on the patio. He had the distinct impression he was facing his own execution, and rubbed his thumb and forefinger over his eyes wearily.

  ≈≈◊◊≈◊◊≈≈

  Clare Pendleton, in her usual, no-nonsense manner, quickly arrived outside and placed mugs of coffee in front of her son and husband, before she settled onto a chair opposite Matt. “Alright, Matthew. Tell us the truth, please.”

  “Mom…” Matt began helplessly. He had to remind himself he was a forty-two year old adult – not a little boy. But the fact that both of his parents had used his full Christian name since their arrival was a bad sign. Jim and Clare Pendleton had always been supportive and loving, willing to offer their help and advice on just about any trouble he'd ever gotten into. So why, for Christ's sake, was he so embarrassed to tell them what had happened? Was it because he was ultimately ashamed of himself, and the choices he'd made? Or was he ashamed of Emily, and what she did for a living? Matt was so confused, he just didn't know anymore.

  Jim leaned forward, cradling the mug between his work-roughened hands. “Matt, let me tell you something, son. You've faced everything life has thrown at you with courage and I respect you for that. But I can see something is bothering you, and from what Paula hinted at, she thinks you're too embarrassed to tell us about it. I want you to know, your mother and I have been around the park a time or two. There's not much that could shock us.”

  Matt released a whoosh of breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding and shook his head. “Trust me, Dad. I think this might just be the bombshell to tip you over the edge.”

  Clare sipped from her own coffee. “Let us be the judge of that.”

  Matt clenched his mug between his hands, pressing so hard he began to suspect he would shatter the china. Taking a deep breath, he lifted his chin and blurted out the entire story, leaving nothing out, other than Em's submissiveness. He had been terrible to her a few weeks ago, but he still respected her enough to keep some of her private life completely confidential.

  Jim Pendleton sat in stunned silence for a few minutes when Matt stopped speaking; staring off into the garden, he digested what Matt had said. Matt suspected his father would yell, or tell Matt what a fool he'd been – so he was surprised when Jim stood up and stepped away from the table, surveying the garden quietly for a minute or two before he spoke. “I honestly don't know what to say, son,” he admitted.

  Matt squirmed, not certain what he could say in defense of his actions. His parents had always been loyal, and he wasn't certain now if they were disappointed by his choices – or disillusioned that he'd kept something like this from them.

  “Matt, I can't believe this,” Clare began quietly. “Paula hinted that it was something to this effect, but honestly, I didn't believe her. Emily seemed like such a nice young woman.”

  “She is a nice young woman, Mom,” Matt began tiredly. “But she is an escort.” His heart squeezed painfully in his chest, recalling how angry he'd been over her seeing a client. Why had she done it?

  “How could you let her be around your children?” Clare asked, her voice rising with her temper. “Our grandchildren?”

  Matt felt his hackles rise. “Emily's
great with the kids. It's not her fault that Courtney hates her.”

  Jim turned back from the garden and stared down at Matt, his eyebrows almost climbing up through his receding hairline. “You brought this woman to our home, Matthew. We introduced her to your grandmother, for Christ's sake!”

  Matt shook his head in disbelief. “And Grandma Louise loved her!”

  Clare crossed her arms over her chest. “Matthew, you can't possibly expect us to accept this situation. She's a hooker! You brought a prostitute to our home!”

  Matt got to his feet. “She's an escort, Mom. Not a hooker.”

  Jim slumped into his chair, looking uncomfortable. “Are you certain she was… well… safe to be with? If she's sleeping with other men?”

  “Oh, Jim!” Clare Pendleton groaned at her husband. “I don't want to hear this.”

  Matt exploded, letting all the rage and frustration he'd suffered for the past three weeks burst forth at once. “You don't need to hear this, Mom, because it's none of your damn business! None of this is your business, so I'd suggest you take your attitude and go home. It's over with Emily – whether it was a good idea, or a bad idea – it doesn't matter, because Courtney hates her. And Emily went out with a client, even though she'd promised me she wouldn't! But you two can relax, because I can assure you, I won't lose my daughter over this, but I don't have to sit here and listen to you badmouthing Emily when she did nothing but be pleasant to the both of you!” Much to his chagrin, Matt felt tears welling against his eyelashes and he turned away from his parents, not certain how much more stress he could cope with. “You thought she was great when you were under the assumption she was a student!”

  “That's not fair, Matthew! How can you blame us for this fiasco? You can't possibly think you could bring someone like that into our lives and there not be repercussions,” Jim protested. “Besides, are you even listening to yourself? You just told us she continued to have sex with strangers after you started seeing her!”