Defining Moments

by Andee Michelle

  It still amazes me every single day, now that I’ve had the opportunity to step back and actually reflect on our relationship, how truly one-sided it always was. I guess when you know no different, what you’re experiencing seems like it’s just the way things are. That the way our relationship was and the way he treated me was normal for a married couple. Some of the things he said to me were not okay, and it floors me that I didn’t see it then.

  Just as I finish making the bed, my phone rings from the living room.

  When I see it’s an unknown number, I decline the call and start to head into the bathroom to shower. I need to be at Cord’s in a little over an hour, so I should start getting ready.

  The phone rings again before I even make it out of the living room. When I see it’s the same number, I figure I might as well answer it in case it’s important since they took the time to call back.

  “Hello,” I answer.

  “Ellie?” A sweet voice asks and I immediately know it’s Sami.

  “Hey girl,” I respond. “How are you?”

  “I’m good. I just wanted to talk to you real quick before you go to Cord’s for dinner.”

  The tone of her voice worries me a little bit.

  “Ooookay,” I draw out. “What’s up?”

  “I spoke to Cord this morning and he said you were coming over to make him dinner tonight as sort of an interview to work at Saint.”

  I don’t respond, because she’s not asking me a question.

  She continues. “I just wanted to kind of see what your thoughts are on this dinner.”

  “Well, my thoughts are I’m going over to Cord’s to make him seafood paella, hope he loves it, and hires me on the spot.”

  She doesn’t respond for a second and I’m wondering where this is going.

  “Look, Ellie, I really like you. You seem really genuine and I appreciate that. But Cord isn’t just my brother-in-law, he’s my best friend. I know you haven’t known Cord long enough for him to have shared our story with you, but please know he has been through a lot. Cord doesn’t date. Like ever. So for him to be interested in you is huge for him. He hasn’t dated in a really long time.”

  I almost tell her I know about his wife, but stop myself. I need to know the real story, not the one that’s been spread through a college full of kids for the past twenty years. It makes my stomach flutter that both his sister and now his best friend have basically told me he is interested in me as more than a friend, and although I know I’m not ready for that, Cord seems to be okay with us becoming just friends.

  “We aren’t dating, Sami. We just met a few days ago. I’m going to tell you the same thing I told Angelica at Saint last night. I am newly divorced after twenty-one years of marriage. I’m not going to hurt Cord because I will be completely honest with him about not being ready to date. I enjoy talking to him, and I enjoy his company, but friendship is all I can offer him right now.”

  “Thank you for being honest,” Sami replies, sounding relieved.

  “I have to go now. I’ve got to finish getting ready for my dinner interview,” I tell her with a smile. I really am looking forward to this.

  She laughs. “All right, girl, I’m sorry to throw this heaviness on you. I just worry about him. He may have the world’s biggest heart and I don’t know if he can survive having it broken again.”

  We chat for a minute longer about getting together next week for lunch some time and then say our goodbyes.

  By the time I put my hair up in a bun, brush on a little makeup, throw on my favorite holey jeans, AC/DC t-shirt, and flip-flops, it’s time for me to head over. Claire would probably have my ass for dressing this way for dinner with a hot guy, but I know this is nothing more than a job interview based on my culinary skills. Cord’s not going to care what my wardrobe is tonight. I’m cooking.

  I grab my favorite apron, the bags of ingredients on the counter, and the seafood from the refrigerator and head out the door.

  I kick Cord’s door due to my hands being full, and the moment he swings the door open, I almost drop everything in my arms. He grabs the bags from me, laughing loudly.

  “You should’ve told me you needed help bringing all this stuff over,” he points out.

  “I thought I had it under control,” I defend, smiling when he rolls his eyes and helps me bring the bags into his apartment.

  As he makes his way into the kitchen, I look around his apartment, which is really bare. He has one small loveseat, a TV on a small stand, and a couple of stools at the bar that separates the living room from the kitchen.

  No pictures on the walls, no bookshelves, no memories.

  The kitchen on the other hand, is decorated to the full extent that you can decorate a small apartment kitchen. Beautiful dishes are stacked in the open cabinets. Pots hang from a rack above the open stovetop. Canisters of dried pastas and different varieties of rice are on the countertops.

  “Make yourself at home,” Cord says from behind the open refrigerator door, before peeking his head out. “Would you like a glass of wine?”

  “Yes, please.”

  “Red or white?”

  “Red sounds good.” I smile at him as he nods and removes the bottle of red from the wine rack beside the fridge.

  I watch as he pulls a large beautiful wine glass from inside a cabinet, filling it halfway, and handing it to me.

  When his eyes meet mine, my stomach flutters. Friends. We are friends.

  “So tell me, Ellie, what are you going to dazzle me with tonight? I saw seafood, so that’s a plus already,” he smiles brightly.

  “Seafood paella,” I tell him, my stomach already growling. Paella is one of my favorite things in the world to make and eat.

  “Oh wow. I haven’t had paella since I was in Spain a long time ago,” he replies, getting that faraway look in his eyes again.

  “Well, get ready to be wowed because this, my friend, will knock your socks off.” I watch his face light up and, once again, think of how absolutely beautiful this man is.

  Cord shows me where everything is in the kitchen, asks me if I have any questions, and then takes a seat at the bar and watches me as I start to prepare the meal.

  I toast the saffron threads quickly, and then break them up with the back of the spoon to release their flavor. I add the clam juice, bring it to a boil, and then remove it from the heat to let the two flavors meld together. While dicing the onion, I look up and see Cord is paying very close attention to my knife skills and that makes me smile. He’s paying attention to my technique, which shows he is really interested in my skills. I peel and chop the garlic, and then chop up a couple of small tomatoes.

  The rest of the paella prep goes quickly, and when everything is done, I set it aside and quickly make the green salad and avocado dressing. I smell the bread in the oven, so I pull that out and set it aside to cool while I plate everything else. I like the rustic feel of whole bread loaves where you can just pull off a chunk when you are ready to have it with your meal.

  When I place the bowl and plate in front of Cord, I look up and watch as his eyes crinkle at the corners from his smile and he looks like a kid on Christmas morning. He’s a food lover and that may just be the sexiest thing about him right now. We are on the same page when it comes to food.

  “Thank you, Ellie. If this tastes half as amazing as it smells, you have yourself a job.”

  I shake my head and laugh. Grabbing my bowl and plate, I don’t even make it around to the other side of the bar to eat before I hear Cord’s low groan. I set my dishes down and look over at his face. He looks like he’s in pure heaven; his eyes are closed, his head is tilted back, and he has the most content look on his face.

  When he opens his eyes and they meet mine, he lifts an eyebrow as he finishes chewing.

  “Ellie. Damn, girl. That may just be the best seafood paella I’ve ever had. This is amazing.”

  I’m pretty sure the smile on my face is about to cause permanent damage. Having someone who
owns a five-star renowned restaurant tell me my cooking is amazing makes every single late night of waitressing and every weekend I spent slaving in the kitchen practicing, worth every second.

  “Thanks, Cord. That’s means a lot coming from you,” I tell him honestly.

  “Well, I’d be an idiot if I didn’t offer you a job. You obviously know what you’re doing. Making paella is not an easy task. I should know. I’ve made it a few times, and it’s never been as good as what I just ate.” He pauses long enough to get up and refill our wine glasses.

  “If you’re seriously interested in the job, you can come down to the restaurant tomorrow and we’ll get your paperwork started.”

  “Absolutely. What time should I be there?” I ask with enthusiasm.

  “How about 3 p.m.? That way the lunch rush is over and it’s still a couple hours before dinner starts. Then we’ll have time to go over all the necessary paperwork, and I can show you around the kitchen and introduce you to the other kitchen staff.”

  “Sounds great,” I almost shout, which makes Cord laugh. We sit in silence for several minutes, finishing up what’s left on our plates.

  “Well, let’s get this cleaned up, and I’ll get out of your hair,” I start.

  “Um, no way. You cooked, I’ll clean up. You sit here and enjoy the rest of your wine. We can chat while I clean.” He takes our empty plates and heads around the bar back into the kitchen area.

  I sip my wine and watch as he rolls up his sleeves and rinses the dishes, putting them in the dishwasher.

  “So tell me about your youngest son. You said he went away to college right? Where is he?” he asks, sounding genuinely interested.

  “Yeah, Destry got a full ride to Boise State University in Idaho,” I smile with pride.

  “What’d he get the scholarship for? Academics?” Cord asks.

  I laugh before replying, “You’ve seen the twins, right? My boys are huge. Destry probably could’ve gotten an academic scholarship, but most of his offers were to play football. He now officially plays football for the BSU Broncos,” I reply, so proud of my boys.

  I watch as Cord’s body freezes and his face goes hard. Shit. Football.

  I immediately start telling him about what the boys are all majoring in, hoping a change in subjects will work.

  “Destry is majoring in Chemical Engineering, Ben in Pre-Physical Therapy, and Eli is considering Pre-Law, but is basically just taking general courses right now.” The change in conversation seems to relax Cord and he returns to cleaning up, nodding and smiling at the appropriate times.

  “So, I ran into Sami at the store this morning. Those nieces of yours were giving her a run for her money,” I tell him.

  “I don’t doubt it. Those girls are a handful for sure. Every once in a while, when Bishop and Sami need a night out, I watch them, and let me tell you, you’d be amazed at the damage five little girls can do in just a few hours.” He shakes his head and laughs, looking a little distant like he’s thinking back on a memory of it.

  “You’re a tough man to take on watching that many kids all at once. I’m sure your brother and Sami appreciate you being such a great uncle,” I declare.

  “Yeah, well, Bishop may be my brother, but Sami has been my best friend for a lot of years. We’ve seen each other through some seriously hard times. Being able to watch the girls for a few hours every once in a while is no big deal. Plus, I’m their uncle and love spending time with them,” he professes honestly.

  When I turn my head toward him, he’s looking directly at me, a small smile on his lips.

  “How did you and Sami meet?” I ask him gently. I have a feeling I know the answer, but need to hear it from him.

  He watches me for a moment, like he’s deciding whether to give me any part of that story.

  “She was the best friend of my late wife,” he responds, never breaking eye contact.

  “I’m sorry,” I tell him genuinely and he nods, but doesn’t say anything else. I don’t ask any more questions. I leave it at that and the silence in the room is almost deafening. After a few minutes of silence, I realize I’ve made it uncomfortable and it’s probably time for me to go.

  “I’m gonna head out,” I say as I slowly slide off the stool. “I appreciate the opportunity to work at Saint. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  He nods and walks me to the door. He opens it and watches as I walk across the corridor to my apartment.

  “Goodnight, Cord. Thanks again.”

  “Thank you for an amazing dinner, Ellie. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  His smile doesn’t reach his eyes. I nod and close the door, him waiting until I’m safely behind mine to shut his own.

  I consider texting Sami and asking her to check on him but think maybe that’s stepping over the line. I pull out my phone while I consider and remember I never looked to see what Justin’s last text said.

  Justin: I’m so sorry I did this to us.

  I delete the message without responding again. Maybe if I just ignore all texts from him that don’t have something to do with the boys, he’ll stop. Continuously telling him to stop texting me unless it’s related to the boys isn’t working, obviously.

  It’s still early, so I figure getting a little reading done is in order. I wash my face, take out my contacts, throw on my pajamas, and am heading into the kitchen to pour myself a glass of wine when there is a soft knock at my door.

  I look at the clock and see it’s a little after 9 p.m. Kind of late for visitors, plus the only people who know where my apartment is are the twins.

  I make my way to the door and am shocked to find Cord’s worried face through the peephole.

  Unlocking the door, I pull it open and lean against the doorframe. I watch as Cord glances down at my pajamas, which basically consists of yoga pants and one of the boys’ old t-shirts. It swallows me.

  “What’s up, Cord?” I ask firmly but gently.

  “Can I come in for a second?” he asks, sounding unsure of himself.

  “Um, sure, come on in.” I open the door all the way so he can enter and I close and lock it behind him.

  “I’m sorry I kind of froze up back there. I don’t talk about my wife often, especially to someone who didn’t know her. She’s been gone a long time and the story is painful.” He isn’t looking at me, but scanning my apartment like he’s looking for something.

  “It’s okay. You don’t have to explain.”

  “No, I do. It was rude of me to shut down and not thank you properly for dinner tonight. Like I said, it’s not a subject that comes up and I apologize for not handling it well. Someday, if you want to know, I’ll tell you about her.”

  I just nod in understanding.

  “Okay, I’ll go. I just didn’t want there to be any weirdness between us. I am looking forward to working with you.”

  “Me too. Thanks, Cord,” I smile at him as he walks back to the door.

  “Goodnight, Ellie.”

  “Night.”

  I shut and lock the door behind him and head into the kitchen to resume pouring myself a glass of wine, so I can kick back, relax, and enjoy my latest book boyfriend.

  It doesn’t take long before I’m picturing Cord as the hot CEO millionaire.

  WHEN THE LIGHT PEEKING through the curtains wakes me, I know it’s later than I normally sleep. Squinting to check the time, I see its past 10 a.m. Holy shit, I don’t even remember the last time I slept this late. It’s the quiet. I start to stretch and roll at the same time, but just end up wincing in pain. I’m pretty sure my entire lower half is broken! Apparently, after two days in a row of going overboard at the gym, my legs, hips, ass, lower back, and abs feel like they’ve been through a meat grinder. Instead of thinking about giving up, my first reaction is that my arms, shoulders, and chest are not sore at all. Obviously, they are in need of some working out. Maybe I’ll curb the leg and core work for a day or two and try to fit in a little arms/chest/back weight training.

  Groaning as I roll out
of bed, I limp my way into the bathroom and start to fill the tub with hot water. While it’s filling, I make my way into the kitchen, pour myself a huge glass of ice water, and pop a couple of Ibuprofen.

  As I slide my broken body into the hot water, I make a mental note of what this feels like, because I don’t want to do it again any time soon. Yes, I know the soreness is a sign of the work I’m putting in, but I did too much too soon, and now I’m paying for it.

  After a good fifteen-minute soak, the water is starting to cool so I stand to get out. The bath definitely helped loosen some of those muscles, and I’m able to move much easier.

  Since I need to be at Saint at 3 p.m., and I still have to hit the store to get the ingredients to make potpie for my girl date with Claire tonight, I better get a move on it.

  I put a little bit of mousse in my hair and figure, since I’ll be running around for a few hours before I have to be at Saint, I’ll just let it air dry. I really need to get it trimmed. The length is out of control. Justin always loved my hair long, so I didn’t cut it often. Hell, I’m pretty sure it’s been this same style and cut since high school. That thought alone makes me reach for my phone.

  Me: Who does your hair?

  Claire: Kat at Zee Spa downtown. Why?

  Me: I’m chopping it off. Your hair is always gorgeous.

  Claire: YES! My girl is the bomb, but all the ladies there are amazing. Call them.

  Me: Thanks! See you tonight. *mwah*

  Before I change my mind, I call Zee Spa and book an appointment to see Kat on Friday morning. That gives me two days to find a cute cut and color I like. I’ll have Claire help me look while she’s here tonight for dinner.

  I throw on my go-to wardrobe lately—jeans, a t-shirt, and flip-flops—and head to the store.