Defining Moments

by Andee Michelle

  The look of shock on her face makes me chuckle. “No worries, girl. We’ve been divorced for months. He’s not my problem anymore.”

  She nods and checks the IV pole thingy and then the bandages on my arm. “Sorry, it just dawned on me I haven’t even introduced myself. The jackass got me sidetracked,” she says sweetly and winks at me. “I’m Sara and I’m your RN for the next twelve hours. Are you thirsty or hungry? We can probably find you some juice or some broth if you’re up for it.”

  “Thank you, Sara. Some juice would be great. Maybe some crackers too. My stomach feels like it’s trying to eat itself and it’s making me nauseous.”

  She nods and leaves my room. I turn my head to the side, just enough to see the clock on the side table. I’m shocked that it’s almost midnight. It’s been more than twelve hours since I was shopping this morning. I wonder if Claire and Cord know what is going on. I was supposed to meet Claire for lunch and Cord was supposed to come over for dinner. As I sit waiting for Sara to return, I wonder about all the things that have happened today while I was out of it. The boys must know by now, right?

  Just as I start to panic, Sara returns carrying a couple of small juice boxes and a few packages of crackers.

  “Now, you need to take tiny bites of the crackers and eat them really slow. You’ve had anesthesia, so we don’t know how you’re stomach is going to handle it. I wouldn’t chug down the juice either. Take small sips at first,” she instructs me, opening the crackers and setting them on the tray beside me. She puts the straw in the juice and sets that beside the crackers.

  “Thank you. Sara.”

  “No problem. That’s what I’m here for.” She smiles happily as she walks toward the door. I hope she’s around a lot while I have to be here. She’s much nicer and seems to enjoy her job a lot more than the old bitty who came in when I woke up earlier. Robo-nurse is what I like to call her.

  “Oh, hey, I almost forgot to tell you, and that would’ve been bad news for me.” She chuckles to herself. “Some extremely concerned men were here earlier when I first came on shift. They gave me strict instructions to tell you they will be back in the morning when visiting hours start back up.”

  “Let me guess, two super handsome young men who look almost identical?” I ask with an eyebrow raised, noticing her cheeks redden a bit.

  “Well, two super handsome young men who look completely identical and a ruggedly handsome older gentleman who looked just as concerned.” She smiles back.

  Cord. Definitely the older, ruggedly handsome one.

  I can only nod, a lump in my throat forms knowing how concerned my boys probably all are. She must notice the change in my demeanor because she’s beside my bed, holding my right hand in an instant.

  “They know you’re going to be okay, Ms. Harper. The doctor talked to them and let them know you will make a full recovery. They refused to leave until they knew you were going to be okay.”

  I nod again, tears streaming down my face.

  “Thank you,” I choke out.

  She pats my hand, messes with my IV once more, and then tells me to get some sleep as she slips quietly out the door.

  It doesn’t take long to figure out she put something in my IV to help me sleep. Within minutes of her leaving, I become super drowsy and drift off to sleep.

  I TELL MYSELF I’M dreaming, because there is no way Justin and Cord would be in the same place at the same time. In my mind, they kind of override each other. One, a reminder of pain and betrayal; the other, a reminder that life goes on. It doesn’t take long to realize I’m not dreaming and they are truly both standing outside my room talking. I try to keep calm and pretend to be sleeping, so I can hear what they are saying.

  “Did the doctor say how long he thinks she’ll be in the hospital?” I hear Cord ask.

  “No, he won’t tell me anything. He told the boys about her injuries, which are the broken wrist, banged up ribs, and some cuts and scratches. That’s all I know,” Justin responds, sounding none too happy to be discussing me with Cord. Jealous prick.

  “Okay. Well, I think I’ll hang out until she wakes up, so I can speak to her myself then,” Cord says with humor in his voice. He can tell Justin’s jealous, and he’s enjoying every second of it.

  “So you’re her boss? Don’t you think it’s a little bit unprofessional for you to be ‘hanging out’ at the hospital? I mean, if you want to give me your number, I can call you and give you updates on how she’s doing. I’m sure it’ll be a while before she’ll be able to work in the kitchen again.”

  “Oh, I’m not concerned about when E is coming back to work. We actually just started dating recently, and I truly care about how she’s doing. I just happen to have the benefit of her working in my restaurant. She’s an amazing chef,” Cord grinds out, making my heart flutter.

  “You call her E?” he chokes out and then pauses. “I’m fully aware of how good of a cook she is, dude. After all, I was married to her for twenty-one years,” Justin says cheekily and I can hear the smirk in his voice.

  “Yeah, and you obviously didn’t appreciate it like you should’ve. But I guess I should thank you for that, because now I get to,” Cord barks out.

  There is an uncomfortable silence and I peek from one eye to see if they’ve left, only to find them standing just inches apart, staring at each other. Cord’s hands are fisted and the veins in his forearms are protruding intensely. The sight of his strong arms makes my body tingle. Both Justin and Cord are big men, although Cord has a few inches in the height department, and as much as I’d enjoy watching Cord beat the shit out of Justin, I know I need to stop this pissing contest.

  I open both eyes and turn my head toward them fully. “Ahem,” I clear my throat. Both of them swing their eyes in my direction, Justin immediately taking a step toward my door. He stops abruptly when I slowly shake my head, glaring daggers at him. He huffs and then takes off down the hallway. Cord smirks as he walks to me.

  “Wow. Remind me never to get on your bad side. That look you just gave him made my blood run cold,” he tells me when he gets to my side, dropping down to his knees in front of me to kiss me gently on the lips. “Jesus, you scared the hell out of me, E,” he chokes out, pressing his face to my hair.

  “I’m sorry,” I tell him honestly. I know he’s not in love with me, we’ve basically just met, but I know he cares for me, and I’m sure getting a phone call that I had been hit by a car wasn’t easy to deal with. He’s been through so much already; he doesn’t need my crazy shit on top of it.

  “Don’t apologize to me for something you had no control over,” he counters.

  “Actually, I’m not sure of the details of the accident. It might have been my fault. I was a little lost in thought before it happened, so I don’t know if I walked into the vehicle’s path or not,” I tell him honestly.

  “First, what had you so ‘lost in thought’ that you wouldn’t know if you walked out into traffic, Ellie?” he asks, sounding skeptical.

  I take in his beautiful face and ignore his question for a minute. I really don’t want to rehash this with him. I just want to move on with my life. I can’t say my life flashed before my eyes when I got hit, but I can tell you waking up in the hospital has definitely been a defining moment for me. I’m done with Justin and the drama, and I’m ready to move on with my life. If Cord is a part of that, awesome, but I know now, more than ever before, I need to make myself happy.

  “E?” he whispers, placing a kiss on my forehead. “Please tell me.”

  “Well, I went shopping yesterday morning and, while in a clothing store, just so happened to overhear Justin’s secretary on the phone. I’ll spare you all the glorious details. Let’s just say I found out Justin was cheating on me for years, basically with anyone and everyone who worked with him who happened to have a vagina. Julia was just the first one to talk him into leaving me.”

  I hear him take a deep breath, before I hear his footsteps. “I’ll be back.” His posture is angry a
nd determined.

  I don’t even try to stop him. I am beyond caring what he has planned for Justin. For a long while, I hear nothing but my own breathing and the beeps from machines down the hall. I doze off a few times, and watch a little bit of bad reality TV. But when Cord hasn’t come back after a few hours, I start to get annoyed.

  When Claire walks into my room, I’m on the verge of calling Cord. I definitely need the distraction. She obviously wants to know what happened and I spare her no details. To say she is pissed is an understatement. She vows to punch Justin in the dick next time she sees him. Her words, not mine. I try to distract her by asking questions about what’s been going on with her, but she seems to be avoiding anything I ask about Tyler and it makes me worry about her. She’s not telling me something, I can feel it.

  When Dr. Hill shows up, Claire makes her exit, making me promise to call her when I get back home. She even promises to bring me some homemade frozen crockpot meals, which frightens me more than I’d ever admit to out loud. She doesn’t cook.

  Dr. Hill tells me about the surgery on my wrist and what my rehabilitation will be like. I’ll need to spend six weeks in the cast and then will need physical therapy to get the range of motion back. He said the break was clean and he was able to reset it nicely.

  He tells me he’d like to keep me one more night to monitor me and will release me tomorrow, barring any other issues.

  Sometime around dinner, all three of my boys show up, along with Cord. I’m so shocked Destry is here that I let out a squeal.

  Cord comes over to me immediately, kisses my forehead, and whispers, “Sorry it took so long.” Before stepping back and letting the boys come to me.

  Eli speaks first.

  “Cord made dad tell us the truth about what happened. We’re sorry, Mama.” All of them rush my bed, pain written all over their faces.

  “Stop right there. First of all, do not apologize for your father,” I tell them firmly but gently. “Was the news a shock? Yes. Did it contribute to the accident? Maybe. Am I pissed at him? Absolutely. Actually, I’d like to cut his nuts off. I understand you guys are mad at him and you have every right to be. I’m not going to stick up for him and tell you to forgive him. That’s your decision. Just remember he is the only dad you’ll ever have.”

  They look at me like I’ve got two heads. “Mom, he cheated on you for years. How can you be so calm about this?” Eli asks.

  “Baby, I mourned the death of our marriage a long time ago. Yes, I was shocked to learn of his infidelity, but it doesn’t change anything about my life now. I’m still moving on with my life, and happily too.”

  Eli and Destry both smile at me, and I can see in their face they understand I’m hurt but I’m completely okay.

  Ben, on the other hand, doesn’t say a word but looks heartbroken. He leans over and kisses my cheek before turning and leaving. I turn to Eli who only nods and goes after him. I’m glad they have each other. Ben has always looked up to his dad, and I knew this was going to be hardest on him. He’s always thought Justin walked on water.

  Destry breaks the silence in the room after a few minutes. “When can we spring you from this place?”

  “Doc says he’ll release me tomorrow if everything goes okay tonight,” I say with a voice that sounds weird even to me. I’m so tired.

  “Well, Cord, thank you for getting me here so fast. I owe you big time, my friend. You picking her up tomorrow when the doc releases her?”

  “You don’t owe me anything, buddy. It was my pleasure. If it’s okay with you, Ben, and Eli, yes, I’d like to pick her up and take her home.”

  Destry nods, before coming over and kissing my cheek. “See you tomorrow, Mama. I love you.”

  “I love you too, baby boy. Now go check on your brothers and make sure they’re okay.”

  He smirks before nodding and leaving the room.

  I’m still staring at the door when I feel Cord’s weight pressing down on the bed beside me.

  “I’m not sure what you did, but thank you. I didn’t know how I was going to tell them their dad is a cheating piece of shit. I don’t want to know the details. Just thank you.”

  He brings his lips slowly against mine in the sweetest kiss I’ve ever felt.

  A small chuckle comes from him, and when I open my eyes and look at him, he gives me that sideways smirk that sets my body to tingling.

  “You even look beautiful in a hospital gown,” he tells me before pressing his lips to mine again.

  I shake my head and smile, feeling the weight of Justin’s betrayal lighten a little more.

  “You know you don’t have to hang out here, being bored in a hospital. I’ll probably watch some TV and go to sleep early.”

  “No, ma’am. I’m going to go down to the cafeteria, get us some super yummy dinner, and we’re going to play Scrabble,” he says happily, pulling out a Scrabble board from a bag I didn’t even see him bring in.

  I chuckle when he walks out the door, heading for the cafeteria.

  We eat the tasteless spaghetti he brings back and play a game of Scrabble before I’m so tired I can’t hold my eyes open. Pretty sure the nurse keeps feeding me pain killers. They make me giggly and sleepy.

  I wake a little later; it’s dark and Cord is asleep in the chair beside me. I take this time to really look at him. He is such an amazing man and I can only hope he continues to be. I mean, I never in a million years, up until last year, would’ve thought Justin could have done the things he has. I know if Cord and I are going to make a go at dating, it’s not going to be easy for me. My ability to trust blindly is broken. My nerves are shot to hell when it comes to how I’ll ever let another man into my bed. It literally makes me nauseous to think about Justin having sex with other women while still having sex with me.

  I must be zoning out again because I hear a chuckle, and when I refocus my eyes, I’m still staring at Cord, but he’s now awake and smirking at me.

  “Like what you see, E?” he asks seductively. He truly has no idea.

  “Yeah, yeah, I’m hopped up on pain meds. I literally zone out in the middle of a thought,” I joke.

  He sits up and stretches, which causes his t-shirt to rise just enough for me to see the smooth skin underneath. I immediately avert my eyes, knowing I need to halt those thoughts.

  “Since visiting hours are over, I should probably go,” he murmurs in my ear, kissing it gently. I nod my head and smile at him.

  “Thank you for being here today,” I tell him honestly. “I really don’t know how I would’ve handled Justin being here or telling the boys what happened without you.”

  “I wouldn’t have been anywhere else.” He kisses my lips gently again before pulling the covers up to my chin. “I’ll see you in the morning, beautiful. Get some sleep.”

  THE FEEL OF A HAND brushing my cheek is what starts to pull me from the most amazing dream of beautiful green eyes and wildflower fields. Without opening my eyes, I nuzzle my face against the warmth of his touch, inhaling deeply. The scent is not completely unfamiliar, but I know it’s different, and my first instinct is to pull back. Something about it feels so intimate and my eyes open on their own accord before I’m really ready to face this day.

  When I’m able to focus, I realize I’m holding the hand I was just nuzzling, but push it away when my eyes land on Justin’s face.

  “What are you doing here, Justin?” I ask groggily.

  He takes a deep breath and lowers his body from the chair to the floor beside my bed. His eyes are red and swollen, and he looks like he hasn’t slept or showered in days. What the hell is wrong with him? He doesn’t answer right away, but I can tell by his expression he is on the verge of crying.

  “I’m so sorry, Ell,” he sobs out before laying his head on my stomach. “I miss you so much and can’t live another day without telling you how sorry I am for fucking it all up.”

  His shoulders shake as he lets his emotions wrack his body. My motherly instinct is telling me to comfo
rt him because I’m watching this man fall apart. Then my scorned ex-wife instinct kicks in and stops me before I do anything stupid.

  I allow him a moment to get his emotions in check before I speak. I need for him to hear the words that I’m going to say to him and never forget them.

  “Justin, look at me,” I tell him gently. He lifts his head and wipes his eyes eagerly.

  “What exactly are you sorry for? For telling me you needed ‘more’?” I air quote. “Or are you sorry I finally know the whole story?”

  He looks down at his hands, which are clenched together in front of him, lying on the side of my bed.

  “Or is it you realize I know Julia wasn’t the first person you cheated on me with, or maybe it’s that Ashley made it completely clear how much fun she and most of the other ladies from your office have had with you?” My voice is so calm it almost frightens me. “Or maybe it’s you realize I don’t need you and I’m moving on with my life, and enjoying every second of it. But it could also be the fact I have 100 percent full freedom to do what I want with my life now that our children are grown, and you are back to midnight feedings and diapers. Better yet, I’d almost bet you don’t get Ms. Twenty-five-year-old Fitness Model to take care of all your day-to-day shit for you. I mean, does she even cook?” I snort out. I can feel my body starting to heat and face starts to heat up. I’m done with this conversation.

  “Justin, I need you to listen carefully to what I’m about to say. Hear it and understand it. I do not care, in any sense of the word, how sorry you are. You will never know the pain of realizing that every aspect of your twenty-one-year marriage was a complete lie. Every single second of our life together as a couple is now tainted to the point I have zero good memories of you. They are all tarnished because you are a selfish asshole who thought about no one and nothing but your dick while you were ruining our family,” I growl.

  His eyes will not meet mine and he is fidgeting with the blanket on my bed. I lift my hand, placing two fingers under his chin, making him raise his eyes to me.